I know I had something to show today, I just can't remember what it was, so instead I am going to have a TELL. If you want to see some Shows and Tells Mary hosts a List full of them. Come on over!

My study last night had many references to James. I used to hate James, now I love James ( Jesus reminded me He IS the word so hating any part of it was hating Him) Ouch!!! Anyway, it reminded me that my heart desires to be complete in Jesus more than anything and trials is the tool He uses. So I just need to grow with it. When you look back it is never as devastating as you imagined it would be. And the growth factor is always astonishing. It is in the midst under the storm clouds that fear creeps in. That is when looking to Jesus is all we can do.

Now the Book of James is not an easy read, there are many hard teaching in this book that cause the hair on the back of your neck to stand right up. It all begins here...

James 1 :2-4Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything

We always focus on the "Facing Trials" when what we want is to run away form them. We do not want to look at them face to face. Most of the time we shut our eyes trying to pretend they are not there. Our focus is suppose to be on the becoming mature and complete in Christ. After all, that is what we all want, to be like Jesus.

Further done it says this is verse 12  Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Oh how many times I have failed the test and not Stood. Ephesians says Having done all stand and there are times crawling didn't even feel like an option. Praise the Lord a Righteous Man though he falls Rises up again! I know the joy of passing a test and of failing a test and by golly I like passing them. I really do not like them coming around again to see if I learned anything form the last test.

So why am I writing about this today. Is it because I am off to retreat for the week end wondering what the Lord has for me there? Could be. But I think it is because I am facing a new trial in my life and as at peace as I "think" I am and as Trusting in the Lord as I "know" I am. Moment by Moment the storm clouds are gathering. Truth is I wish the doctor had wheeled me in from my appointment to the operating room. Instead I have time on my hands. And a lot of friends that used to hang out with Job.

When I was just days from being seven years old, I was hit by a car and broke my leg. I was in traction for three weeks, a cast for months and on crutches months after that. I do not remember much about it, only good things like laying on the kitchen table coloring ( The yellow table in the Bridges of Madison County to be exact) and the nurse that came in and made my daddy go home so she could give me a shot every night. I also had my birthday in the hospital.

I have had surgeries before, a hysterectomy at 24 years old that had me dead for a few minutes and in the Hostpital for a week recovering. (they forgot to seal an artery and I bled to death) I have had gallbladder surgery and hand surgery. I have had stitches in the back of my head and my hand. Why am I telling you all this??? Because it seems that everyone thinks I am unaware of the pain that awaits me.

I have heard the following "You are really going to be in a lot of pain!"

"Recovery is going to hurt a lot, but it is worth it!"

"This is going to be the worse pain you have EVER felt!"

The key to all these statements seems to me that first, they think I am an idiot blindly trusting the Lord.

Second I have no idea what pain is or I wouldn't be doing this and third, No one that has said these things to me has had it done! NONE OF THEM!

What they do not know is how painful it is to get shots in my knee cap every three or four months just so I can walk, and to do this for nine years. They do not know that in the last four months I had to get three shots and it took five days for the last one to even work!

But most importantly they do not know my God and HIs ability to sustain me, for He has brought me through storms most people can only imagine. And yet my storms are merely thunderstorms compared to others hurricanes. But He has ALWAYS brought me through them looking a bit more like my Savior.

I am facing this head on and I am praying that the Lord will sustain me and bring me to completion. I long to be able to get on my knees before God again. I long to be able to hike my mountains and keep up with my grandchildren. I am at peace and I am aware, do not confuse my faith with ignorance. God's peace truly does pass all understanding. I have this faith as a gift from my God and I have this peace because of the prayers of His children.

Our Retreat theme is "Poured out" and that is my heart sweet sisters that I am poured out for Christ . But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you Phil 2 :17

Your love and prayers mean everything to me. Prayer for my endurance and God's Mercy and Grace. Pray for peace to wash over me and all I come in contact with and pray that I may have Perseverance and lack nothing! That I may grow in Maturity ( and compassion) .

Have a blessed week-end my SSiC and know how dearly I love you all and thanksfor letting my S&T be just a Tell and  telling you all I love you.