I read ALOT, I have read so many books on discipline my head could explode.  My first son was so good, of course I did work hard on training him but he was born with a really sweet spirit.  Even when he was two he never had an issue with sharing, if another child wanted it, he just gave it to him-of course that worried me too because I didn't want him to a push over but that is just his personality, he is so good hearted and then guess what- here comes son number 2, who I love and adore and would lay my life down for but boy have we had issues.  He has a will of steel and although he is sweet, a lot of times HE IS NOT!  My husband and I have prayed, cried,  begged for answers from people-I have read every strong willed book I could find and still we would have major issues.  Our biggest being anger, I mean uncontrolled anger, like nothing I have ever seen before. We spanked and that would make it so much worse, the anger would rise in him even worse, we tried time out, he would kick the door, tear down the pictures on the wall, he couldn't stand to be corrected, even a little bit without exploding.  I am a very consistent parent, I do not let children act this way-I also have a 2yr old daughter, but nothing worked with Zach. I worked on his diet, I thought about getting a professional help and then I found effectiveparenting.org-it has changed our lives.  I spent the 50.00 dollars for a set of CDS called, Parenting is Heart Work by Steve Turansky and  Joanne Miller . They go across the nation to different churches telling their messages but none was coming this way so I bought them.  I really loved their book Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes in you and your kids.  This book is one of the best, I heard about it in a homeschooling convention.  Scott is a homeschooler himself.  This book teaches about honor in the family and even has some activities to do with the kids, its excellent.  But I can't say it did much to help me with Zach because it addressed older children but I thought if they could have a book that great, maybe some of their other resources could help me.  I started with the CDS called Parenting the child thats difficult to Parent and then I did Parenting is Heart Work.  It has changed our lives, I was at my mother in laws the other day and my sister in law started crying, and she said I can't believe the difference in Zach, he had just turned 4 and was sharing all his birthday toys.  You have to check out the site, effectiveparenting.org.  I was so disheartened, it seemed every Christian book I read was so big on whipping them into shape.  Don't get me wrong, I am not against spanking at all but does it really change the heart?  In our case it wasn't.  It wasn't addressing the heart issues at all and it just seemed to make everything worse.  I even went to secular books for help but I didn't agree with much they said either, they didn't care about where the heart was either because they just don't care about Christ..  And then other books would tell you all about the strong willed child but give you no direction where to go with them.  This CD set, they also have the book tells you step by step what to do in your training, one CD is called a toolbox of consequences and it talks about several options and how we should mix it up, They have games that you teach your children while they are behaving at home, like the come when your called game, stop rule, don't touch rule, the obey first rule, and the wise appeal.  It also has worked on my DH and ME.  It has taught me to work on my anger issues (they were never like Zachs but they were there). It has taught both of us how to honor each other more and our children.  Jen if you read this, you will love it!  For a matter of fact, their style reminds me of your style of parenting and I tell you, YOU will LOVE IT!  It screams Jen on it.  LOL  I know my Zach will alway be strong willed, God made him that way, I finally have peace about that  God will do great things with him and he will probably lead someday because of his personality but if we let these live wires go astray we will lose their hearts.  Thats a price I'm not willing to pay!