My plan tonight was to write about how we celebrated Easter last week.  How we surprised my blog friend (mom2ZAW) by attending her church where her husband is the pastor.  It was fun to see them again and we enjoyed the service.  But every time I log on here, all I can think about is Heather.  I sometimes wish I didn't have the empathic personality that I have.  When people are hurting, I automatically feel their emotions.  It is who I am.  God made me this way so I try to use this excess of emotion I carry in a way that would please the Lord. 

But is sure makes life difficult at times.  When I know someone is hurting or in trouble and I can't do anything to help, I get really frustrated.  Prayer doesn't seem enough, sometimes.  But all I can do is pray for Heather.  I haven't figured out a way to leave a message for her but then I thought, it doesn't matter.  She may never know I've been praying for her since Tuesday.  That's o.k., because when you read her entries, you can see how much the Lord is taking care of her.  She knows there is a whole lot of praying for her going on.  I'll bet she doesn't wish for anyone to worry about her.  I just don't know how to let go very well.  I keep thinking, "How can I just blog away when this person is going through this situation?"  It seems selfish, know what I  mean? 

Fortunately, I've married a man who can work as an RN and go home, not really thinking about what he's done all night.  I honestly don't know how he does it.  I would be crying and praying all night with each patient.  Todd is my rock.  He doesn't get emotionally involved.  At least, if he does, he keeps it in check.  Somehow, we balance each other.  When my middle son was about 1 yr old, he had a fever that caused a febrile seizure.  We thought he stopped breathing and while I was frantically screaming on the phone (911) that my baby wasn't breathing, my husband, the rock, was doing what needed to be done, to get my son breathing.   I'm forever grateful that Todd was home that morning.  I just don't know what I would have done. 

So, here's emotional me, wishing that I could save the world from any further suffering, especially children.  But that's not my job, is it?  Dang it, why isn't it?  I need to release that burden I feel to the Lord.

Thanks so much for all the prayers being said for Heather.  She's a real inspiration.  I encourage you to go to her site and keep updated (find her site through the voting site).  God is at work - you'll be encouraged.