Here's a big Happy Mother's Day to every Mom who reads this post!  I hope you had a really nice day, whether you celebrated it or not.  Suffice it to say, you probably spent the day being, well, a Mom!  Isn't it funny, the very day you'd like a day off, or maybe just a break from, being a mom, is the day you are celebrated as being a Mom.  I found it rather confusing this time around.  I didn't mind not having much of a celebration but I thought it was important for my kids to acknowledge Mother's Day but I wasn't sure what to say.  I did get cards and I thanked them for the cards but then I didn't want them to think that's all they had to do for Mother's Day but then I thought well, what more did I want .... oh, Lord, I'm just not having a good day!  It was rather stupid, really.  My dh is not feeling well which was a bummer.  My kids were great and when they weren't, I said, "Behave yourself, it's Mother's Day!" 

     I missed my Mom so much today.  When I called her (she's in CA), all three of my sisters were there with her.  I was so very glad she had them all there (one lives a few states a way and made a special trip for the weekend) but I couldn't help but feel left out.  I REALLY wanted to be there with them all.  I asked to talk to the sister who lives a few states away and I cried when she came on the phone.  This particular sister is the kind you can cry on her shoulder, she's good at comforting.  But she has her own problems, mainly with her oldest daughter, so instead of me being able to cry more, I listened to her talk about her daughter.  And then she had to go. 

     On days like this, I wonder if we made the right choice to move away so many years ago.  I may not have had the best relationship with my family but at least I was with them.  Now, all our holidays are celebrated with my dh's family.  Not the same, know what I mean?  They are all nice and show their love to our family in many ways, actually a lot more ways than my family does (none of my sisters acknowledge my birthday and only one sister acknowledges my kids' birthdays) but they aren't my blood family.  They don't share the past that I have with my family.  And they certainly don't know me like my family does.  I'm still the outsider here, I relate better to the spouses who are also the outsiders. 

     Last night, we celebrated Mother's Day at my inlaws'.  Interesting evening.  On the way there, my daughter announced her tummy hurt.  Great.  I said maybe she was hungry and we'll see how she is after dinner (she was fine.)  I'm not crazy about eating dinner at other people's homes, so it's always a nervous occasion but it was over soon enough.  Grandma was demanding we all try her baked beans.  I cringed because I knew my kids are not baked bean eaters.  I don't care if my kids eat anything or not when we go out but they are not allowed to say anything bad about the food.  I have taught them to just say no thank you if they don't want something and I'm fine with that.  Others around me may not agree but, who cares?  Daughter ate a few bites and happily skipped off to play.  No heating pad needed!  Then my oldest child got into some pollen or something in the forest around my inlaws' house and his eyes started burning and swelling.  Poor guy, he was really upset.  We applied a cold washcloth and I raced home for his allergy medicine.  Grandma, bless her heart, sat with him while I was gone.  Half hour later, he was up and around, playing basketball with his cousins.  I was exhausted!  Meanwhile, my dh sat and talked at the table with his sister the entire time.  Hmmm ... this was a Mother's Day dinner, and, of course, I spent the entire time being a Mom!  It's a never ending job, we knew that the day we gave birth, right? 

You'll have to excuse me, my attitude is lousy lately.  I have my reasons for which I do not want to write about.  So if you detect a sour note here, you are right!  I am sour at the moment!  That's a great word, sour.  I could use a little prayer.  Pray for the sourness to become sweetness.  Goodness knows, our home could use a little sweetening!