Several of you have asked when the date of my husband's surgery will be.  He has met with the surgeon recommended by his cardiologist and a date has been set for January 14, 2008. 

Happy new year, right?  He'll need at least a 6 week recovery period.  I am trying not to think about it.  I know this surgery is the ONLY way his life will be saved and his quality of life will be greatly improved.  Without it, he will just get worse and would eventually die from his condition.  It could take years but those would be miserable years.  He, of course, is not crazy about surgery.  But he needs to move forward and would rather do it now than wait until his symptoms get really bad.

It still seems so surreal to me.  Like when he had melanoma, years ago.  It all seemed like I was in a dream, everything seemed slow-motion.  The diagnosis, the two surgeries, the recovery.  The same with my middle son.  The diagnosis, seconds after birth (born with a partial cleft lip)  The doctors' visits, the dreaded waiting time until surgery, the nurse taking him from our arms at the hospital and the wait during surgery, the recovery.  I don't want to go through this again!  How selfish of me.  I'm not the one going though it.  He is.  Careful ... I don't want to think about this too much right now.  I don't want to dwell on it until I need to.  It's too much to bear at the moment.

You see, it's been 9 years since my son's surgery and longer than that since my dh's.  I don't feel as strong as I was back then.  I'm really scared.  Really.  Lack of faith?  I don't think so.  I think it's just age.  Or it's just me.  I did amazing things in my 30's.  Now, at 44, well ... I'm different. 

O.k., this isn't a pity party.  Lighten up, and all that.  I'll try.  Have faith.  Have faith.

So, the date is set.  I would most appreciate your prayers but especially for Todd.  And the surgeon.  And the surgical staff.  And my kids.  And for good driving weather in Jan.  And good health.  Thanks.  From the bottom of my heart.