Do you ever, just for a moment, look back on your life and wonder just how you got to the moment that you are in?

Oh, I do that all the time.  I've never been organized.  I've always, always been late.  Alarm clocks never worked on me.  Even my mom screeching from the kitchen to "get up" didn't make me budge.  I'm good at multi-tasking but I never seem to get much done.  Things pile up before I get a handle on them.  Everything takes longer than I think it will.  I've never been that confident as a mom, housewife, cook, home manager (did you know that mom's are managers?  Belinda Letchford just informed me of that - she's on my friends list over there >>>>)

Oh, I was a good student.  When I wasn't being sassy.  When I applied myself.  I was a good employee - eventually.  I handled my own business well but we'll never know if I would have gotten out of the red because we moved to OR after 2 years of running it.  So, it looks like I "eventually" get better at some things.  There is hope. 

On the other hand, as I get older (I will be 45 in just 1-1/2 weeks and I suppose that is what spurred this post) I find the confidence I once had has started to dwindle.  It's not suppose to be that way.  We are supposed to grow more confident as we grow older.  Get more comfortable in our own skin.  Let go of the unimportant baggage and concentrate on what really matters.  But I am realizing that you don't just "know" how to do something just because you reach a certain age.  Like, I thought I would be a much better housekeeper and cook by this time.  I thought I would be able to handle other stuff much better by now.  But no - that's not the case.  Age doesn't just magically make one better at anything.  You have to WORK at it!  WORK - WORK - WORK!

My own mother (bless her) had 4 daughters, cooked all the meals, cleaned like a pro (our home was ALWAYS spotless - seriously), managed all the finances and drove us girls to scouts and clubs.  She made it look so effortless.  Unfortunately, she didn't teach me a thing about how she did it all.  Believe me, I no longer blame her for anything, I could have applied myself.  In fact, I admire her greatly.  I just thought she "knew" and that someday, I would "know" how to do it all.  Effortlessly and with a big smile on my face.  She had her hair done regularly and always wore lipstick.  And she didn't wear white shoes until Memorial Day.  Anyone every heard of that rule?

So, this post comes down to my approaching birthday AND Mother's Day - which both occurred on the same day in 1963.  My mom says I was the best Mother's Day gift she ever received.  Funny - when I was young, I was determined never to be like my mother.  Now I wish I was.