Jun. 26, 2009 - Variations on humanity
I think most of us at one time or another think of children as a homogenous segment of humanity--they eat messily, sleep (and don't sleep), drool, dribble, drip green snot, use up a lot of diapers, get their clothes wet, and at least once in their life defy gravity by pooping up the back of their diaper and out the neckline of their onesie.
I have always been aware of my children's differences from each other. Though they meet all the developmental milestones at roughly the same pace, and do all the same basic baby and child stuff, they each have their own way of doing it, their own personal twist. This is evident even in thier infancies, but becomes more and more obvious as they get older. I was reminded of this by the photos they brought home from VBS last week.
Asrat is sitting, with that strained look one gets when trying hard to smile "perfectly". Someone must have told him "Show your teeth!" because his left upper lift is twisted upward revealing about 1.5 teeth to the camera. He is happy, you can see it in his eyes, but he is tense because he wants to "do it right". This is how he always does pictures, tense and grimacing, my perfectionistic first child.
Gebre is a whole different story. He's standing for the picture, grinning to beat the band, his mouth stretched wide to show all his beautiful teeth. His eyebrows are raised with the effort of his smile, and his shoulders are hunched up, his chin juts up and out. He's putting his whole body and every last ounce of energy into this smile and the result is fabulous and hilarious. I laugh every time I see that picture on my fridge. It's just so...Gebre.
Sometimes we do have the privelage of seeing into the future, if only dimly. In some ways, I know what my boys will be like as adults. Of course there will be circumstances we can't forsee, perhaps even life-changing ones. But I can see their general trajectory. Their personalities are already set, have been for a long time. They experience things so differently, react to those experiences differently, and process everything differently. Asrat gets upset when he can't do something right. Gebre doesn't care, or else he argues with me about whether it's right (If he thinks 2+1=11, he won't hear any reasoning at all. It's 11 and that's that). Asrat is driven to move forward and do more and do better. Gebre doesn't care (recurring theme there). Asrat runs with Olympic posture, because that's how the best runners run. Gebre runs like a bow-legged, loose-limbed clown and is supremely but cheerfully clumsy. Asrat has his feet planted firmly on the ground. Gebre is always somewhere up in the clouds. Of course Asrat has his little-boy moments, and Gebre has his rational moments but for the most part the one is a perfectionist and the other a free-spirit (who does not always seem to be an Earthling).
I haven't figured out what category Biruk is in, but it doesn't matter. He is yet another little guy who is his own person, different from the others. Precocious, talkative, passionate, and the provider of any sound effects necessary... It's easy to write about him often because he's so much fun.
I think this is one of the reasons having more children is something I look forward to rather than dread. Each one comes with the same basic mechanics, and the same needs early on, but each one is different from the other. Each new child is a whole new person, a whole new set of opportunities to relate, a whole new learning experience for the rest of the family, a whole new perspective on the world and on life. I find myself wondering these days, when God blesses us again, with Whom will he bless us? What kind of personality will be next? What new things will the next one teach us? Who will that baby be?
Comments
Jun. 26, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
That is beautiful Maggie! :)
I find it thrilling to see the differences in our boys and, if we are blessed with more, will delight in seeing the other personalities too!
-jessica
paulsbride.blogspot.com
Jun. 27, 2009 - :D
Posted by Sarah
LOL...Kids are so funny aren't they!! I love sitting back and just watching mine play. Their personalities really come out when they don't think you are watching.
I will have to do a post about my kids on my blog...good idea!!
