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Sep. 12, 2007
Character Development - Where do your Children Stand?
The Old Schoolhouse Magazine
Home Where They Belong
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September 12, 2007
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 A wise woman once said, "While we're focused on building character in our children, God is focused on building character in us."
Maybe it's perseverance - we can't give up on them. Maybe it's patience - no one guarantees immediate results. Maybe it's humility - lest any man should boast! Maybe it's contentment - learning not to envy that mom down the street whose kids seem to have it all together. Maybe it's dependability - truly showing our children that we'll stick with them even when their behavior breaks our hearts. Maybe it's dying to self - doing what needs to be done, even when we don't want to. Like oh say. . . playing a board game with your kids when you'd rather read a book by yourself. (Ouch stepping on my OWN toes now.)
And maybe it's for God to continue to grow our faith in Him, to truly remind us to walk by faith and not by sight. When we see what God can do in our children's lives in spite of all of our mistakes and shortcomings (both parents and children), we are reminded that truly it IS all about Him. It's not always easy, but it is about Him.
I had the pleasure of hearing Mark Hamby of Lamplighter Publishing speak recently. I was truly touched as he spoke about the importance of our relationships with our children. Here's a great article that he wrote for TOS a few years ago and here's where you can order his presentations on building a stronger family and character in your children.
THM Editor
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 Mercy Every Minute
Deborah Wuehler, TOS Senior Editor
I overheard an upsetting conversation in my kitchen one night. One lady was commenting on the newspaper clippings and awards our children had received that were hanging on our kitchen wall. The lady next to her said, "Well, these are all great, but it would have been better if she had taught her children character."
What do you do about a statement like that? Well, I was a bit saddened, but then began to think about what she said. My kids had all the academic success they could handle that year. I was proud of their academic achievements.
However, what was their character like? I was not proud of that. They were well-behaved and polite in public. But behind closed doors, they argued with each other, were slow to obey, and tattled constantly. Something had to change. My friend was right - their character did need improvement.
Just how do we go about improving character? The best way is to make disciples of our children like Jesus did. They lived together and He taught them. How do we do that?
Be the example of the character trait you want to work on. For example, if there is anger in your home: Don't show anger yourself. Be kind and have a soft answer to all wrath. Put yourself under the spotlight and change your own behavior.
Pour the Word of God into them. Have a daily time of gathering as disciples and learning from the Master. Memorize scriptures together pertaining to the character trait that needs developing. Keep a recipe file of all scriptures memorized. When you get to a certain number memorized, reward yourselves somehow.
Use curriculum or supplements that encourage character development. Doorposts offers many of my personal favorites. Make sure your curriculum reflects the character you want to develop most in your children.
Academic excellence is important, but let's not make it the primary goal. Character excellence should always come first. Here's a good first verse to memorize together:
"Thus saith the LORD, Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches: But let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth me, that I am the LORD which exercise lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness, in the earth: for in these things I delight, saith the LORD." Jeremiah 9:23, 24
~Deborah
CONTEST: Want to work on character with your girls? Here is a wonderful resource from the book of Proverbs on the true meaning of beauty. Doorposts has put together an extensive workbook called Beauty and the Pig. See the review right here. This contest will run until the end of September.
Email SeniorEditor@TheHomeschoolMagazine.com with your name and mailing address for a chance to win.
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Schoolhouse Spotlight
Dena Wood, Schoolhouse Store Manager
If you've read the Summer issue of The Old Schoolhouse Magazine you may have noticed the article on Character Quality Language Arts. If not, let me share a bit about this unique program.
Character Quality Language Arts integrates copywork, vocabulary, comprehension, spelling, grammar, composition, creative writing, poetry and dictation in one program. Not only that, but the program is multi-level so you can teach the same material to several ages at once by using the same volume, but at different levels. When I mention volumes, I'm bringing up one of the most unique aspects of this curriculum. Each volume of the curriculum focuses on different character traits.
For instance, if you had a third and fifth grader you would use Volume I, in levels Pre-A and A. Both would learn the character qualities of peacemaking, boldness, endurance, joyfulness, initiative, thoroughness, truthfulness and compassion while doing age appropriate work. Or you could use Volume II in the same levels to cover an entirely different set of character qualities. This is definitely a curriculum worth considering if you're looking for a good language arts program.
~Dena |
 It's Just Common Sense
Ruth Beechick, Curriculum Specialist
Character--that's what you homeschoolers are already good at. You do not need academicians to tell you how to teach it. In your strong Christian convictions and your commitment to family, your own character is evident. Your children in this environment receive what is called immersion teaching. Every day they see, hear, and experience the character traits you want them to grow into.
You like the children to read about heroes and achievers of many kinds. That's more immersion. It probably is counter-productive to add on academic style questions about how to "apply" the learning to a child's own life. Thinking up answers is somewhat artificial. But attitudes experienced by living with the story for a while are real. Ordinary conversation helps. That's part of the family immersion.
When you see attitudes or actions in a child that you disapprove of, don't think "I'm a failure" or "I need a curriculum for this." Instead, think "That's why I'm the teacher; I see what the child cannot see yet." Talk with him about problems at times. Keep plugging away with the discipline and the Christian family living. There's no better education around.
~Ruth
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 The Familyman
Todd Wilson, Familyman Ministries
Now we've come to the meat of the homeschooling matter - character. That's what we all want in our children - godly character. Unfortunately, we tie ourselves up in knots trying to assure that our kids will have plenty of godly character to get them through the adult years.
Of course we want that for our children, but in reality, it's not the sit down kind of 'character lessons' from which they'll learn. It's the very fabric of who we are that is the real influence and mold for what they'll become.
I was reminded of that myself as I came tooling up I-75 just north of Orlando last week. It was about 7 o'clock at night when my phone rang. It was my son Ben (14).
"Hey Dad," he began without any other greeting, "what time is it?"
After a slight hesitation, we both blurted out, "My FAVORITE time to drive."
He knows me. He knows that's what I always say when I'm behind the wheel of our RV as the sun hangs low in the sky and the air is cooler. A thousand miles separated us, but he knew that's what I was feeling right then.
In thirty years, when he's a dad and I'm old, he'll be driving down the road as the sun sinks and think, "This is Dad's favorite time to drive." He'll think about me, our RVing days, and our life on the road as a family.
You know that thought may not seem like much, but it's huge. My influence on my children is huge. Your influence is huge. Don't worry so much about whether you're doing enough teaching or character training. Be more concerned that you're there for your kids, modeling what you want them to live.
Be Real,
Todd
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 Homeschool Freebies
Julie Nott, TOS Freebie Finder
Training kids to have character? Ha! With their sinful natures and free wills? Ha! I don't know about you, but I have four kids with four very distinct and different personalities. Without divulging their identities, I would say they range anywhere from being highly convicted to having no conscience at all on any given day. I have to rest each day in the fact that they have given their lives to Christ and His Holy Spirit will speak to their heart...they only have to listen to His still small voice and choose wisely. Sometimes they will, and sometimes they won't.
We can teach them about "character" and "fruits of the spirit" and "good choices" all day long, but some days it just boils down to whether they want to do the right thing or not. Or maybe they are tired and cranky. Or maybe they had red food coloring or too much sugar that day. Oh goodness, sometimes they are just plain sinners saved by grace. Just like me and you.
I firmly believe that besides teaching them to listen to the Holy Spirit's nudging, having God's Word hidden in their heart is the best defense against sin.
ValuesDrivenFamily.com has some freebies on their website that can help teach your kids scripture around a certain character trait.
Visit www.valuesdrivenfamily.com/free_downloads.htm and click the yellow "DOWNLOAD NOW" button at the bottom of the page. You will then be prompted to enter your name and email. Then you'll get information on how to download your freebies.
Gotta go, I hear a fight erupting in the next room...
~ Julie |
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