I am so excited to be hosting this week's At The Well! This week I chose the topic of Welcoming Home Daddy. I invite you to post your own thoughts, using the discussion questions as a guide, on your own blog! Make sure to use Mr. Linky (below). Simply add your blog to the list so that we can all visit you to see your ideas on making your home a place of peace for your husband and your children's father!
~ Lisa Metzger
Welcome Home Daddy!
v How can we lay a welcome mat of love for our husbands after a long day of hard work?
v How can we make our homes inviting places where Daddy longs to be at the end of a long day?
v How can we involve our children in this process and teach them to show reverence to their Daddy?
A Titus 2 Wife’s Jobs When Welcoming Home Daddy!
“…so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled and pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.” Titus 2:4, 5 (NAS)
Homes are a wife’s responsibility and domain, according to Titus 2. Making our homes a welcoming place for our husbands, when they return home from a hard day of work, is just one way of fulfilling our duties that are laid out clearly in God’s Word.
As “workers at home” we should be striving to have our homes be places of refreshment and rejuvenation for our husbands. All must be done while being self-controlled. We must be diligent in what we do, not complaining about our God-given jobs.
We are to do all for the Glory of God. If we choose to disobey God, we are showing the world a very poor example of what Christian wives and mothers should be. This causes criticism to abound and, therefore, God’s Word is dishonored. Keeping our homes and laying out a welcome mat of love for our husbands are just two ways to make sure that the Word of God will not be dishonored.
Homemade Hospitality
Why do we consider hospitality to be shown only to guests and strangers? Shouldn’t we also be showing hospitality to the provider and king of our home? Show your husband that you appreciate him and all of the hard work he does in providing for your family. Demonstrate your appreciation by looking forward to his homecoming. Show homemade hospitality!
To better understand what hospitality truly is, let us look more closely at the definition and antonyms [opposites] of the word.
Hospitality is a “cordial and generous reception; an act or service of welcoming; hospitable treatment, reception, or disposition; hospitality constitutes a key ingredient of family life.” Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Hospitality [is] a little fire, a little food, and an immense quiet.”
The opposite of hospitality is “hostility; inhospitality; unfriendliness; nneighborliness or unsociableness.”
As the manager of your home, you need to consider whether or not you and your children desire to demonstrate and live out hospitality when welcoming home Daddy?
The first thing that needs to be done in order to properly meet the needs of your husband is to find out what those needs are, as they can be different with each man. Generally, men have a need for honor, love, respect, quiet atmosphere and FOOD!
Seek out your husbands desires and needs. Ask him what he would like to happen upon his arrival; in what order would he prefer things like the meal, clean wife and kids, clean home, time to rest or change clothes, etc. This will make him feel so loved, respected and included in the planning of your day!
Look at this beautiful passage.
“Be kindly affectioned one to another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.” Romans 12:10-13 (NKJV)
Ask yourself if you and your children are showing the specific biblical traits found in this passage to your husband and father.
1. “Be kindly affectioned one to another…” This word affectioned is used nowhere else in the New Testament. It means “tender affection”. Are you showing your devotion and tender affection to him? Are you teaching this to your children?
2. “…give preference to one another in honor…” Are you giving him preference and honor?
3. “…not lagging behind in diligence…” Are you showing diligence in cultivating new habits that convey honor, respect and godly hospitality?
4. “…fervent in spirit...” Are you doing all for the Glory of God? “Do nothing at any time but what is to the glory of God, and do everything as unto him; and in everything let your hearts be engaged. Be always in earnest, and let your heart always accompany your hand.” (from Adam Clarke's Commentary)
5. “…serving the Lord…” All must be done in an attitude of servitude to the Lord!
6. “…rejoicing in hope…” Are you grumbling or complaining about the workload (especially in front of your children)? “Use hospitality one to another without grudging.” (1 Peter 4:9) Put on a spirit of rejoicing, renewing your mind (Romans 12:2) throughout the day!
7. “…persevering in tribulation…” Are you persevering even when it’s difficult to make sure you give your husband a warm welcome?
8. “…devoted to prayer…” Are you praying for your husband throughout the day? Have you taught your children to pray for him?
9. “…contributing to the needs of the saints…” Are you contributing to his needs of food, drink, and quietness? Have you asked him what his needs are in order of importance?
10. “…practicing hospitality…” Are you practicing hospitality by welcoming the king of your earthly home?
Why not commit that passage of Scripture to memory or hang it, along with those questions, in a place where you will see it often? This will help you to shape your attitude and to mold your children’s attitudes when preparing for your husband’s arrival at the end of the day.
A Quiet Resting Place
“And my people shall dwell in a peaceable habitation, and in sure dwellings, and in quiet resting places." Isaiah 32:18 (NKJV)
What are some ways to make your home a peaceful and quiet resting place? Why not let Daddy unwind or relax after dinner? Could the children wait to come to him until after the kitchen and dining area are cleaned and they are ready for bed? Maybe after this time of relaxation he will feel rejuvenated enough to lead everyone in family worship! This can really produce a peaceful atmosphere, as well as have Daddy take the role as spiritual leader and priest in his own abode.
Meditate on these verses about peace, rest, righteousness and sure dwellings.
"Righteousness and peace have kissed each other." Psalm 85:10b (NAS)
"In returning and rest shall you be saved, in quietness and confidence shall be your strength." Isaiah 30:15 (NKJV)
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)
An Inviting Palace for the King of Your Home
What is a home?
o Shelter – Something that provides cover or protection
o Haven – a harbor or anchorage or sanctuary
o Refuge – a comfort in times of trouble
o A place providing security and happiness
What should a home provide?
o Love
o Peace
o Safety
o Fellowship or friendship
o Acceptance
o Comfort
o Health
o Healing
o Rejuvenation
o Refreshment
One important aspect of a home is cleanliness and orderliness. Shouldn’t we want Daddy to arrive home to a clean and orderly palace? After all, clutter causes stress and the home should be a place of peace, and cleanliness provides an optimum environment for health and healing. Now, don’t get me wrong, this does not mean that your home needs to look like a contender for the feature article in Better Homes & Gardens, but it should be somewhat neat and orderly upon Daddy’s homecoming.
Put the Plan into Action!
Prayer
Have you taught your children by example the importance of praying for Daddy? Praying for your husband is a sweet example of how much we care for and love him. What a display of godly affection for your loved one who works so hard all day for his family!
So you want to begin cultivating this daily routine, but don’t know quite where to start? Begin by having the children hear you pray for your husband. Pray, using his actual name (not Daddy) and let your children see what a praying Titus 2 wife really can be. This will really influence your sons and daughters to do this when praying for their spouse someday! What a generational impact this could have for some time to come!
Teach your children to pray for their Daddy on their own. You can start out by having each child can take turns praying for one thing concerning Daddy. It is okay to prompt them as they pray when they are learning how to pray. As you continue to make this a habit, each child might move on to have their own day each week praying for their father. Can you imagine what kind of things you are able to battle on behalf of your family’s husband and father through this intercessory prayer?
Godly Attitudes
As you work toward making Daddy’s homecoming precious each day, teach your young ones about a true servant’s heart. Show them by way of demonstration and verbal instruction that Jesus told us that to be great in God’s Kingdom we must be a servant of all [Mark 10:44]. No task should be carried out with a grumbling spirit or mouth. All things must be done to the glory of our God!
Quick Pick Up
About an hour before Daddy gets home you and all the children should start getting ready for Daddy’s homecoming! Each child should have set chores or tasks to complete in order to ready the home and their spirits for Daddy! Children as young as 1 year old can have jobs to do.
There should be a quick pick up of the house. Toys put away, things straightened, etc.
Children should all help in setting the table for the evening meal while you get dinner completed either on your own or with children who are ready to start learning the art of cooking. It would be extra nice for the children to have something in which they can take pride in, such as learning to fold napkins in a special way, making place cards, or arranging a special centerpiece! They should also all learn the basics of setting a table properly.
The children and you should be washed up with clean faces and hands. A husband desires a wife who does not look frazzled, even though she might feel like it at times. Seek to please your husband by your personal appearance. At the very least, have your hair combed and have fresh breath!
When the door opens, Daddy should be greeted and welcomed with smiles and warm attitudes! Consider having the children put away his briefcase or hang up his coat for him. Make him feel like the king that he is!
Give Daddy the opportunity to get comfortable before dinner. Let the dinnertime conversation be relaxed. Be sure to instruct the children to first ask Daddy about his day before sharing their stories. Mealtime rules and manners should be established and enforced in order to ensure the tranquility of dinnertime.
Last, but not least, if the children are old enough (I’d say have at least one child who is 8 or older – although any age can help), let them clean up after dinner while you talk one-on-one with your husband. This can prove to be the finishing touch to the gracious reception of your prophet, priest and king! It can also refuel and encourage you to keep fighting the good fight and persevering in your job as a Titus 2 Wife and Mother!
Work on One Thing at a Time
Now, don’t expect results overnight. Work on mastering one of these things at a time. Daddy will appreciate the obvious efforts of you and the children and, most importantly, the Lord will be pleased with the intentions of your hearts, as you learn to grow and walk in Him as a Titus 2 Wife and Mother!
“The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever." Isaiah 32:17 (NIV)
May you seek to be a righteous wife and mother, finding peace through working diligently in Welcoming Home Daddy!
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