Yes! You can! However, each home is so unique that I hate to say that there's a set method or a formula for everyone regarding chores. I would definitely try to get all the kids with a good-sized chore list. Check out my Age Appropriate Chore List for some ideas.
Definitely rely on your older children for help around the house. Don't feel at all badly about it! You're training them for REAL LIFE, which is what homeschooling is all about anyway. Let them know that they are in training, because they are young adults! After all, children became adults at 12 in the Bible and they had a lot more expected of them then than we expect form our teens now.
I would also try to instill a sense of duty, responsibility and such with the older ones. If you have girls, you might want to have them start thinking about a hope chest (we gave our 16 year old one for her b-day, but she's been planning for what will go in it - forever!). Instead of having the girls collect material objects right away to put in this "future hope chest," have them collect skills to put in it. After all, every woman/wife/mother needs to know how to do daily chores, such as cooking, cleaning, babysitting, etc. The guys still would benefit from mastering the same skills. After all they might need to rely on them in the case that they are bachelors for a time or when their wife is sick or on bed rest. Their wives will appreciate your training TREMENDOUSLY! Plus, each child needs to feel part of the "team"! They need to feel that they are needed and that their participation makes the house run smoothly.
When you decide who's to have what chores, call a family meeting and “lay down the law”. Let them know what's expected, when it's expected, how the chores will be given to a younger sibling when the time is right and the consequences for not doing the chores correctly (without a correct attitude and/or having to be reminded). Then, stick with it! I really think you'll see things change rather quickly. It will take time to train them, but it will be worth it in the long run!
We have our kids take over cleaning the ENTIRE kitchen and dining room after dinner so that Mark and I can have some time talking about our day. Boy, has this been SO NICE! We started this when my oldest was 12. Even our 1-2 year olds have chores of cleaning the booster seat and clearing the napkins and salad dressings. It's so doable!
Having the kids take naps or go to bed/have quiet time at a certain time frees you up to complete your chores! This is vital to the smoothe running of your home. Do your kids have a regular bed time? If so, great! If not, you'd better start one. At least have them be quiet by reading or having computer time after, say 8:00. For us, we have all the kids 12 and under in bed at 8:00. Annalise (16) goes down to the playroom to read and sew until 9:30. Mark and I have our quiet time from 8:00 on. This is also a great time to have some Bible study time.
I would also definitely work on setting an afternoon nap schedule if you still have kids who nap! My kids phase out of naps around 4-5 years old, but you can still utilize a schedule if your 5 year old takes a nap. My 15 month old takes a morning nap and afternoon and my 3 year old just takes an afternoon nap. So, I have both littles down from 3-5:00 which helps a lot. My 4-year-old actually had naps cut out before he came to live with us last year, so that's why he's not down with them.
The key to chore training is to be consistant. Kids love to know their boundaries and they find peace in knowing the consequences for disobedience, even the older ones. So, make a plan and STICK WITH IT! You will see a difference in no time at all!
Lisa Metzger
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