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Jan. 13, 2009
Can I Start Chore Training when My Kids are Older?
Yes! You can! However, each home is so unique that I hate to say that there's a set method or a formula for everyone regarding chores. I would definitely try to get all the kids with a good-sized chore list. Check out my Age Appropriate Chore List for some ideas.
Definitely rely on your older children for help around the house. Don't feel at all badly about it! You're training them for REAL LIFE, which is what homeschooling is all about anyway. Let them know that they are in training, because they are young adults! After all, children became adults at 12 in the Bible and they had a lot more expected of them then than we expect form our teens now.
I would also try to instill a sense of duty, responsibility and such with the older ones. If you have girls, you might want to have them start thinking about a hope chest (we gave our 16 year old one for her b-day, but she's been planning for what will go in it - forever!). Instead of having the girls collect material objects right away to put in this "future hope chest," have them collect skills to put in it. After all, every woman/wife/mother needs to know how to do daily chores, such as cooking, cleaning, babysitting, etc. The guys still would benefit from mastering the same skills. After all they might need to rely on them in the case that they are bachelors for a time or when their wife is sick or on bed rest. Their wives will appreciate your training TREMENDOUSLY! Plus, each child needs to feel part of the "team"! They need to feel that they are needed and that their participation makes the house run smoothly.
When you decide who's to have what chores, call a family meeting and “lay down the law”. Let them know what's expected, when it's expected, how the chores will be given to a younger sibling when the time is right and the consequences for not doing the chores correctly (without a correct attitude and/or having to be reminded). Then, stick with it! I really think you'll see things change rather quickly. It will take time to train them, but it will be worth it in the long run!
We have our kids take over cleaning the ENTIRE kitchen and dining room after dinner so that Mark and I can have some time talking about our day. Boy, has this been SO NICE! We started this when my oldest was 12. Even our 1-2 year olds have chores of cleaning the booster seat and clearing the napkins and salad dressings. It's so doable!
Having the kids take naps or go to bed/have quiet time at a certain time frees you up to complete your chores! This is vital to the smoothe running of your home. Do your kids have a regular bed time? If so, great! If not, you'd better start one. At least have them be quiet by reading or having computer time after, say 8:00. For us, we have all the kids 12 and under in bed at 8:00. Annalise (16) goes down to the playroom to read and sew until 9:30. Mark and I have our quiet time from 8:00 on. This is also a great time to have some Bible study time.
I would also definitely work on setting an afternoon nap schedule if you still have kids who nap! My kids phase out of naps around 4-5 years old, but you can still utilize a schedule if your 5 year old takes a nap. My 15 month old takes a morning nap and afternoon and my 3 year old just takes an afternoon nap. So, I have both littles down from 3-5:00 which helps a lot. My 4-year-old actually had naps cut out before he came to live with us last year, so that's why he's not down with them.
The key to chore training is to be consistant. Kids love to know their boundaries and they find peace in knowing the consequences for disobedience, even the older ones. So, make a plan and STICK WITH IT! You will see a difference in no time at all!
Lisa Metzger
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Nov. 20, 2008
Chore List by Age!
I came across this years ago and I LOVE it. Now, all the chores don't apply to our family, but we do use this as a guide. We believe in starting chores at 9-12 months. Yes, 9-12 MONTHS! They can start doing chores with you at that age (putting books and toys away and such as that). The earlier you have your kids doing chores, the easier it will be for you and your household later on...trust me! We are reaping the benefits now! Our household runs so smoothly with soon-to-be 8 kids, now that 7 of them help with daily chores! They have good attitudes about it and do them without being told (well 98% of the time anyway). :)
~ Lisa
9 - 24 months
a.. Putting dirty clothes in hamper.
b.. "Helping" with grocery shopping (putting items in basket and on
check-out counter, handing things to mom to be put away at home.)
c.. Cleaning with mom (give child a dust rag, child size broom, empty
spray can/windex bottle for "pretend" cleaning).
d.. Watering plants (with pre-measured amounts!).
e.. Beginning to help make beds - (begins with handing the pillows to mom
until later).
f.. Yard work (helping collect trash and toys, etc.).
g.. Simple errands ("bring the diaper to mommy, please," etc.).
2 - 3 years
a.. As language develops, requiring politeness on a regular basis ("Yes
ma'am", "No sir", "May I please be excused", greeting, etc.).
b.. Generally including child in every-day activities on a regular basis
(cleaning, shopping, etc.).
c.. More complicated errands ("Take this towel and put it in the hamper",
etc.).
d.. Laundry (beginning to help with sorting by mom handing him things to
put in appropriate piles, transferring clothes from dryer to basket, etc.).
e.. Learning more specific neatness qualities (putting toys in proper
spots).
f.. Taking his dishes to the sink and helping to clear table.
g.. Carrying groceries in from car (give child one light item or a small
bag).
h.. General errands (carrying diaper bag into meeting, carrying mom's
purse to the car, etc.).
i.. Simple decision-making ("Would you like juice or milk to drink?").
j.. Put books and magazines in a rack.
k.. Place napkins, plates, and silverware on the table.
l.. Clean up what they drop after eating.
m.. Toilet training.
3 -4 years
a.. Making bed (begins with watching mom -- mom helping child -- mom
watching child) standards must be clear and reminders frequent.
b.. Keeping room neat and taking daily responsibility for it.
c.. Regular morning routine becoming established (getting dressed,
cleaning room before breakfast).
d.. More complex decision-making ("Would you like to wear the blue or
green pants?").
e.. Becoming "other-oriented" (drawing pictures for someone, making
encouragement notes to dictate to mom, thank you notes for birthday gifts).
f.. Learning to use the telephone properly.
g.. Established and regular responsibilities (bedroom, getting the mail,
emptying bathroom trash cans, etc.).
h.. Helping wash the car.
i.. Simple hygiene - brush teeth, wash and dry hands and face, and brush
hair.
j.. Undress self - dress with some help.
k.. Carry boxed or canned goods from the grocery sacks to the proper
shelf.
4 - 5 years
a.. Taking his laundry to designated place on laundry day.
b.. Sorting laundry with supervision.
c.. Begin learning to fold laundry and put it away.
d.. Hang socks, handkerchiefs, and washcloths on a low line.
e.. Vacuuming/sweeping.
f.. Cleaning table after meals.
g.. Helping with meal preparations (learning to measure, stir and use
small appliances).
h.. Spread butter on sandwiches.
i.. Prepare cold cereal.
j.. Help mother prepare plates of food for the family dinner.
k.. Make a simple dessert (add topping to cupcakes, pour the toppings on
ice cream).
l.. Hold the hand mixer to whip potatoes or mix up a cake.
m.. Setting the table.
n.. Taking out the trash.
o.. Helping make decisions about meal choices, outings, time with friends,
etc.
p.. Carrying groceries in from the car and putting them away.
q.. Help with grocery shopping and compiling a grocery list.
r.. Polish shoes and clean up afterwards.
s.. Follow a schedule for feeding pets.
t.. Help do the dishes or fill the dishwasher.
u.. Dust the furniture.
v.. Share toys with friends (practice courtesy).
w.. Tell parent his whereabouts before going out to play.
x.. Play without constant adult supervision and attention.
y.. Polish silver.
z.. Polish car.
aa.. Sharpen pencils.
5 - 6 years
a.. Unsupervised responsibilities (making bed, washing out trash cans,
etc.).
b.. More complicated meal preparations (making frozen juice, toast,
scrambling eggs, cutting with blunt knife, baking).
c.. Make own sandwich or simple breakfast, then clean up.
d.. Pour own drink.
e.. Prepare the dinner table.
f.. Tear up lettuce for the salad.
g.. Helping with younger siblings (changing diapers, helping with bath,
bottle feeding, entertaining while mom is out of the room, feeding/dressing
toddler siblings).
h.. Laundry (sorting, learning to use the washer/dryer, measuring
detergent,fold clean clothes and put them away.) .
i.. Cleaning (using cleaning supplies properly, cleaning unsupervised
areas like bathtub or polishing furniture, clean mirrors and windows).
j.. Sons -- carrying "heavy" things for mom and helping with yardwork.
k.. By this time child will begin to carry out responsibilities unasked
and begin to offer help in areas parents don't require help in.
l.. Make bed and clean room.
m.. Dress on own and choose outfit for the day.
n.. Learn to tie shoes.
o.. Answer the telephone and begin to dial the phone.
p.. Yardwork.
q.. Pay for small purchases.
r.. Help clean out the car.
s.. Take out the garbage.
t.. Decide how he wants to spend his share of the family entertainment
fund.
u.. Feed his pets and clean the living area.
6 - 7 years
a.. Simple meals prepared (making sandwiches for lunch, preparing drinks,
fixing breakfast for mom and dad, preparing salad for dinner, peel
vegetables).
b.. Regular quiet time becoming a part of daily routine.
c.. Totally unsupervised laundry responsibilities when needed.
d.. Increased responsibilities for younger siblings (dressing
infants/toddlers, entertaining them for longer periods by reading to
them/playing records, etc., helping school them).
e.. Learning the purpose and beginning usage of tools (lawn mower, hand
tools, etc.) and helping with home maintenance.
f.. Shake rugs.
g.. Water plants and flowers.
h.. Prepare own school lunch.
i.. Help hang clothes on the clothesline.
j.. Hang up own clothes in the closet.
k.. Gather wood for the fireplace.
l.. Rake leaves and weed.
m.. Tie own shoes.
n.. Care for his own minor injuries.
o.. Keep the garbage container clean.
p.. Clean out inside of car.
q.. Straighten or clean out silverware drawer.
r.. Oil and care for bike.
s.. Take phone messages.
t.. Run errands for parents.
u.. Sweep and wash patio area.
v.. Water the lawn.
w.. Wash dog or cat.
x.. Train pets.
y.. Take pet for walk.
z.. Carry in the grocery sacks.
aa.. Get self up in the morning and go to bed at night on own.
ab.. Learn to be polite, courteous, and to share; respect others.
ac.. Carry own lunch money and notes back to school.
ad.. Leave the bathroom in order.
ae.. Do simple ironing.
8 - 10 years
a.. Complete responsibility for their rooms on a daily basis (bed making,
dresser drawers, closet, vacuuming, etc.).
b.. Unsupervised yard work (i.e., lawn mowing, edging, clean-up,
gardening).
c.. More complex meal preparations (pour and make tea, coffee, and instant
drinks, using sharp instruments, baking, using appliances, beginning meal
planning).
d.. More difficult cleaning projects (scrubbing kitchen floor, windows,
cleaning appliances).
e.. Summer jobs (lawn mowing, dog sitting, babysitting, odd jobs for
vacationers).
f.. Financial planning (computing percentages for saving, tithing,
offerings, gift-giving and assuming responsibility with parental oversight).
g.. Beginning car maintenance (helping dad with minor repairs, learning
tool usage, washing/waxing).
h.. Help rearrange furniture. Help plan the layout.
i.. Run own bathwater.
j.. Help others with their work when asked.
k.. Shop for and select own clothing and shoes with parent.
l.. Change school clothes without being told.
m.. Fold blankets.
n.. Sew buttons and sew rips in seams.
o.. Clean storage room.
p.. Clean up animal "messes" in the yard and house.
q.. Cut flowers and make a centerpiece.
r.. Pick fruit off trees.
s.. Build a campfire, get items ready to cook out (charcoal, hamburgers).
t.. Paint fence or shelves.
u.. Help write simple letters.
v.. Write thank-you notes.
w.. Help with defrosting and cleaning the refrigerator.
x.. Feed the baby.
y.. Polish silverware, copper, or brass items.
z.. Clean patio furniture.
aa.. Wax living room furniture.
ab.. Change sheets and put dirty sheets in hamper.
ac.. Buy groceries using a list and comparative shopping.
ad.. Cross streets unassisted.
ae.. Keep own appointments.
af.. Receive and answer own mail.
ag.. Wait on guests.
ah.. Plan own birthday.
ai.. Simple first aid.
aj.. Do neighborhood chores.
ak.. Sew, knit, or weave (even using a sewing machine).
al.. Do chores without a reminder.
am.. Learn banking and to be thrifty and trustworthy.
an.. Handle sums of money up to $5.00.
ao.. Be alone at home for short periods.
ap.. Take the city bus to selected destinations.
aq.. Proper conduct when staying overnight with a friend. Pack own
suitcase.
ar.. Responsible for personal hobby.
as.. Handle self properly when in public places alone or with peers.
11 - 12 years
a.. Join outside organizations, do assignments, and attend. Able to take
responsibility as a leader.
b.. Put siblings to bed and dress them.
c.. Clean pool and pool area.
d.. Respect others' property.
e.. Run own errands.
f.. Mow lawn with supervision.
g.. Help Father build things and do family errands.
h.. Schedule himself time for studies.
i.. Buy own sweets or treats.
j.. Responsible for a paper route.
k.. Check and add oil to car under supervision.
13 - 15 years
a.. Determine how late he should stay up during the week. Also determine
how late he should be out for evening gatherings (through mutual
parent-child discussion and agreement).
b.. Responsibility for preparing family meals.
c.. Social awareness: good health, exercise, necessary rest, correct
weight, nutritious food, physical examinations.
d.. Anticipate the needs of others and initiate the appropriate action.
e.. Acceptance of capabilities and limitations.
f.. Self-respect or individual worth.
g.. Responsibility for one's decision.
h.. Mutual respect, loyalty, and honesty in the family.
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Feb. 14, 2008
Chore Buster! Great New System!
Wow! What a great resource! I have yet to try it, but I've heard nothing but rave reviews. If you use this system, please leave a comment to let us all know how it works for you and your family!
~ Lisa
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Oct. 30, 2007
Children & Chores - Facts & Freebies
Children and Chores
Facts & FREEBIES from Values-Driven
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| Free Book Winner
and New Contest
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| Tell-a-Friend!
Share "The Values-Driven Family" book, blog, and free downloads with a friend by forwarding this newsletter using the link at the bottom of the page.
You'll be entered into a raffle to win a FREE e-book copy of The Values-Driven Family. One entry per each forward. In other words, the more you refer, the better your chances of winning!
Congratulations to "Myers Organic Farm," winner of our last month's raffle of "Biblical Principles for becoming Debt Free" by Rich Brott and Frank Damazio.
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| VDF Character Training Guide |
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New Product Watch!
Keep an eye out for the next e-book in the Values-Driven series-- Values-Driven Discipleship: Character Training and Biblical Instruction Manual.
Let's face it, most of us aren't Bible scholars. Add to that the time pressures of everyday living, and it becomes painfully obvious that we, as parents, need HELP in fulfilling the all-important Biblical mandate to raise our children in "the nurture and admontion of the Lord."
That's why we're so excited to offer this topical Bible reference to parents. It's an all-in-one discipleship resource that can truly help you to "make the most of every opportunity" and turn your child's heart to Christ.
Stay tuned for the product release!
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| Free Download: Bible Verses for Character Training |
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| KJV Verses Now Available!
We're pleased to announce that all 12 sets of KJV verses are now available on our Web site, www.valuesdrivenfamily.com. Just visit our downloads area to print or save the .PDF documents of your choice. |
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Dear Friends,
One of our most consitently popular free downloads is the children's chore chart. So we thought we'd share our ideas in the area of chores, as well as recommendations for additional resources and (of course) some FREE STUFF.
God bless you in your family journey,
Marc & Cindy Carrier
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| Children and Chores |
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The "Why" and "How" of Putting Your Kids to Work
We are blessed to have kids who contribute in a very measurable way to the smooth functioning of our home. That's important when you have a family as large as ours. We're also blessed to see the generally great attitudes that our children have toward their daily jobs.
However, these things didn't just "happen." We, as parents, had to train and encourage our children in this area, just as in every other area of their growth and development. READ MORE...
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| Benefit Sale for Pakistan Missions |
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Buy in November to Support Missions in Pakistan!
Many of you purchased e-books in October, and we were able to give more than expected to Lynda & Lauren Coats to help defray some of their medical expenses.
 This month, we're giving all of our VDF e-book proceeds to benefit missions in Pakistan. God is doing amazing things in the Muslim world, and we're honored to help support the spread of the Gospel in this area.
For the past 18 months our friend, Bruce Gordon, has been traveling as part of a team which holds outdoor evangelistic meetings, and he trains local Christians in evangelism and church planting.
God has blessed the work of this team as thousands of people in these countries have come to Christ, and hundreds of new churches have been started--quite a few of these in heavily Muslim areas.
Bruce left last Saturday for his seventh trip, which will see him working in Pakistan and Tanzania, and he'll be away until Thanksgiving.
Thank you for keeping Bruce and the team in your prayers as they participate in the Harvest. And, thank you in advance for your e-book purchase, which will be a financial blessing to Bruce and his family as he devotes himself fully to the work of the Lord. Don't forget, with your e-book purchase you'll get 6 additional free downloads--but only for this week!
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| Homeschooling at the Speed of Life: FREE DOWNLOADS--Check it Out! |
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 Recommended Resource
We were recently blessed to receive a review copy of Marilyn Rockett's Homeschooling at the Speed of Life. Initially, I wasn't sure if this book would be for me, since we're in a pretty comfortable homeschooling routine and I didn't really "need" anything in particular when I started reading.
At first I simply found Marilyn's gentle encouragement and personal testimonies edifying. I was grateful to have some affirmation about some things that we're doing that are working--but then I also found many helpful suggestions that caused me to revise some things that weren't.
Finally, being the organization-junkie that I am, I found that I particularly loved the companion CD that comes with the book--chock full of just about any kind of form you can imagine. A treasure trove for the manager of the home!
In particular, Marilyn's "Weakness/Strength" form showed me how valuable it could be to review the children's work performance in conjunction with the distribution of their monthly allowance. How "real-life" can you get? It has been helpful to leave these charts on the refrigerator, so that I can gently remind the children about ways they can improve things as they go about their daily chores.
I would highly recommend Homeschooling at the Speed of Life to new and veteran homeschoolers alike. Marilyn has been-there, done-that, and she has a practical and uplifting style that's sure to speak to every mom.
We're excited to be able to offer some of Marilyn's very helpful charts as FREEBIES, so you can get a taste of some of the great things that are available in this resource.
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| Get Additional FREE DOWNLOADS with your e-book purchase!
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For one week only (now thru NOVEMBER 7), when you purchase The Values-Driven Family e-book--a great value at only $10--you'll get six additional free downloads for your family: a "Clean Bathroom" illustrated checklist, a Bible Memory Verse mini-poster, a Week-at-a-Glance Family Chore Chart, and more!
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| Offer Expires: November 7, 2007 |
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Sep. 12, 2007
Character Development - Where do your Children Stand?
The Old Schoolhouse Magazine
Home Where They Belong
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September 12, 2007
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 A wise woman once said, "While we're focused on building character in our children, God is focused on building character in us."
Maybe it's perseverance - we can't give up on them. Maybe it's patience - no one guarantees immediate results. Maybe it's humility - lest any man should boast! Maybe it's contentment - learning not to envy that mom down the street whose kids seem to have it all together. Maybe it's dependability - truly showing our children that we'll stick with them even when their behavior breaks our hearts. Maybe it's dying to self - doing what needs to be done, even when we don't want to. Like oh say. . . playing a board game with your kids when you'd rather read a book by yourself. (Ouch stepping on my OWN toes now.)
And maybe it's for God to continue to grow our faith in Him, to truly remind us to walk by faith and not by sight. When we see what God can do in our children's lives in spite of all of our mistakes and shortcomings (both parents and children), we are reminded that truly it IS all about Him. It's not always easy, but it is about Him.
I had the pleasure of hearing Mark Hamby of Lamplighter Publishing speak recently. I was truly touched as he spoke about the importance of our relationships with our children. Here's a great article that he wrote for TOS a few years ago and here's where you can order his presentations on building a stronger family and character in your children.
THM Editor
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 Mercy Every Minute
Deborah Wuehler, TOS Senior Editor
I overheard an upsetting conversation in my kitchen one night. One lady was commenting on the newspaper clippings and awards our children had received that were hanging on our kitchen wall. The lady next to her said, "Well, these are all great, but it would have been better if she had taught her children character."
What do you do about a statement like that? Well, I was a bit saddened, but then began to think about what she said. My kids had all the academic success they could handle that year. I was proud of their academic achievements.
However, what was their character like? I was not proud of that. They were well-behaved and polite in public. But behind closed doors, they argued with each other, were slow to obey, and tattled constantly. Something had to change. My friend was right - their character did need improvement.
Just how do we go about improving character? The best way is to make disciples of our children like Jesus did. They lived together and He taught them. How do we do that?
Be the example of the character trait you want to work on. For example, if there is anger in your home: Don't show anger yourself. Be kind and have a soft answer to all wrath. Put yourself under the spotlight and change your own behavior.
Pour the Word of God into them. Have a daily time of gathering as disciples and learning from the Master. Memorize scriptures together pertaining to the character trait that needs developing. Keep a recipe file of all scriptures memorized. When you get to a certain number memorized, reward yourselves somehow.
Use curriculum or supplements that encourage character development. Doorposts offers many of my personal favorites. Make sure your curriculum reflects the character you want to develop most in your children.
Academic excellence is important, but let's not make it the primary goal. Character excellence should always come first. Here's a good first verse to memorize together:
"Thus saith the LORD, Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches: But let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth me, that I am the LORD which exercise lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness, in the earth: for in these things I delight, saith the LORD." Jeremiah 9:23, 24
~Deborah
CONTEST: Want to work on character with your girls? Here is a wonderful resource from the book of Proverbs on the true meaning of beauty. Doorposts has put together an extensive workbook called Beauty and the Pig. See the review right here. This contest will run until the end of September.
Email SeniorEditor@TheHomeschoolMagazine.com with your name and mailing address for a chance to win.
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Schoolhouse Spotlight
Dena Wood, Schoolhouse Store Manager
If you've read the Summer issue of The Old Schoolhouse Magazine you may have noticed the article on Character Quality Language Arts. If not, let me share a bit about this unique program.
Character Quality Language Arts integrates copywork, vocabulary, comprehension, spelling, grammar, composition, creative writing, poetry and dictation in one program. Not only that, but the program is multi-level so you can teach the same material to several ages at once by using the same volume, but at different levels. When I mention volumes, I'm bringing up one of the most unique aspects of this curriculum. Each volume of the curriculum focuses on different character traits.
For instance, if you had a third and fifth grader you would use Volume I, in levels Pre-A and A. Both would learn the character qualities of peacemaking, boldness, endurance, joyfulness, initiative, thoroughness, truthfulness and compassion while doing age appropriate work. Or you could use Volume II in the same levels to cover an entirely different set of character qualities. This is definitely a curriculum worth considering if you're looking for a good language arts program.
~Dena |
 It's Just Common Sense
Ruth Beechick, Curriculum Specialist
Character--that's what you homeschoolers are already good at. You do not need academicians to tell you how to teach it. In your strong Christian convictions and your commitment to family, your own character is evident. Your children in this environment receive what is called immersion teaching. Every day they see, hear, and experience the character traits you want them to grow into.
You like the children to read about heroes and achievers of many kinds. That's more immersion. It probably is counter-productive to add on academic style questions about how to "apply" the learning to a child's own life. Thinking up answers is somewhat artificial. But attitudes experienced by living with the story for a while are real. Ordinary conversation helps. That's part of the family immersion.
When you see attitudes or actions in a child that you disapprove of, don't think "I'm a failure" or "I need a curriculum for this." Instead, think "That's why I'm the teacher; I see what the child cannot see yet." Talk with him about problems at times. Keep plugging away with the discipline and the Christian family living. There's no better education around.
~Ruth
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 The Familyman
Todd Wilson, Familyman Ministries
Now we've come to the meat of the homeschooling matter - character. That's what we all want in our children - godly character. Unfortunately, we tie ourselves up in knots trying to assure that our kids will have plenty of godly character to get them through the adult years.
Of course we want that for our children, but in reality, it's not the sit down kind of 'character lessons' from which they'll learn. It's the very fabric of who we are that is the real influence and mold for what they'll become.
I was reminded of that myself as I came tooling up I-75 just north of Orlando last week. It was about 7 o'clock at night when my phone rang. It was my son Ben (14).
"Hey Dad," he began without any other greeting, "what time is it?"
After a slight hesitation, we both blurted out, "My FAVORITE time to drive."
He knows me. He knows that's what I always say when I'm behind the wheel of our RV as the sun hangs low in the sky and the air is cooler. A thousand miles separated us, but he knew that's what I was feeling right then.
In thirty years, when he's a dad and I'm old, he'll be driving down the road as the sun sinks and think, "This is Dad's favorite time to drive." He'll think about me, our RVing days, and our life on the road as a family.
You know that thought may not seem like much, but it's huge. My influence on my children is huge. Your influence is huge. Don't worry so much about whether you're doing enough teaching or character training. Be more concerned that you're there for your kids, modeling what you want them to live.
Be Real,
Todd
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 Homeschool Freebies
Julie Nott, TOS Freebie Finder
Training kids to have character? Ha! With their sinful natures and free wills? Ha! I don't know about you, but I have four kids with four very distinct and different personalities. Without divulging their identities, I would say they range anywhere from being highly convicted to having no conscience at all on any given day. I have to rest each day in the fact that they have given their lives to Christ and His Holy Spirit will speak to their heart...they only have to listen to His still small voice and choose wisely. Sometimes they will, and sometimes they won't.
We can teach them about "character" and "fruits of the spirit" and "good choices" all day long, but some days it just boils down to whether they want to do the right thing or not. Or maybe they are tired and cranky. Or maybe they had red food coloring or too much sugar that day. Oh goodness, sometimes they are just plain sinners saved by grace. Just like me and you.
I firmly believe that besides teaching them to listen to the Holy Spirit's nudging, having God's Word hidden in their heart is the best defense against sin.
ValuesDrivenFamily.com has some freebies on their website that can help teach your kids scripture around a certain character trait.
Visit www.valuesdrivenfamily.com/free_downloads.htm and click the yellow "DOWNLOAD NOW" button at the bottom of the page. You will then be prompted to enter your name and email. Then you'll get information on how to download your freebies.
Gotta go, I hear a fight erupting in the next room...
~ Julie |
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Sep. 10, 2007
Character Traits and Verses! Great Resource and it's FREE!
Welcome to Freebie Fridays!
 Well summer has gone and formal homeschooling has once again started back up in the Nott house. We're attempting to get back in a routine and figuring out what does and doesn't work. You all are probably doing the same.
In my research for some guides in this area, I found some neat (and free!) downloads to help in scheduling, planning and record-keeping. Check out this page for the following freebies:
~ Microsoft Excel Family Budget
~ Children's Chore Chart (editable, with clip art)
~ Editable Daily Schedule (MS Word)
~ Two editable planner pages (one home management, one homeschool)
~ Love Coupons for Married Couples
~ Bible Memory Verse Posters (set of five, illustrated with clip art)
~ Homeschool Grade Book/Report Card Generator (MS Excel)
Click the yellow "DOWNLOAD NOW" button at the bottom of the page and you'll be prompted to enter your name and email. You'll then be sent a way to download your freebies! It's as easy as that. Now if only getting back into a routine was that easy...
Join us every Friday - Freebie Fridays!
Blessings,
Julie Nott
Freebie Guru
The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine
www.TheHomeschoolMagazine.com
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Jul. 30, 2007
Chores ~ How to Get Your Kids to Do them and WHY!
The Old Schoolhouse Magazine
Home Where They Belong
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July 25, 2007
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 We're going to talk about chores this week. My kids have a lot of them - feeding animals, cleaning stalls and the hen house, trash detail, dishes, vacuuming, preparing meals, mowing, etc. . . It makes me tired just making out the chore chart sometimes.
And even though no one in our house has the neatness gene, thankfully God has been developing a strong work ethic in them along the way. Of course, my boys still sometimes *forget* and even though their idea of the task being finished doesn't always match up to mine, I do have to say that it IS getting easier. These boys are such a blessing to this mama! I really don't know how I could take care of this house and the animals without them.
The boys know that we need them and they know that we count on them. They've risen to the challenge and I hope that they will make better husbands someday because of it.
Enjoy every minute!
THM Editor
PS - We have a gift worth almost $500 to give to 15,000th customer in The Schoolhouse Store. Look for an email with more information later.
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 Mercy in the Morning
Deborah Wuehler, TOS Senior Editor
When I had my first two children, I could handle everything on my own and had a certain level of perfection. I could cook, clean, do laundry. I could wash, feed, diaper, dress and burp babies, only to start all over again. I was keeping it all up, but I was exhausted. Then came baby number three, with mommy starting to drown when Daddy said, "No more of this, the kids are going to do some chores." Well, I balked at his idea, thinking I could surely do a better job than a 4 and 2 year old. What could they possibly do that would be helpful?
They started with the garbage and feeding the animals. They put away the plastic cups and plates on a lower shelf just their height. They dusted and learned to fold laundry. Vacuuming started soon after. Well, it sounds lovely, but in reality, it took a lot of instructing and secretly cleaning up after them. There were more spills of dog food that had to be swept. There were more little garbage cans that needed to be fished out of the great big one, plus all the garbage that missed the can. There was more water on the floor than in the sink when dishes were washed. There was a flood when the kitchen got mopped, and don't forget the slipping and sliding around fun that they always had in the middle of it. There was laundry strewn all over as the folding turned to medieval warfare. They vacuumed up myriad of Legos and strips of carpeting.
It actually was more work for me in the beginning than if I had done it myself. But, due to my husband's perseverance in telling me that it would pay back someday, and instilling consistency, my children are now able to help tremendously around the house. All I have to do is write it down what I need on a list for each one, and the chores get done and get done well. Not perfectly, but well. Not only has my level of perfection decreased a little, my own workload has decreased as I am now able to delegate most of the housework.
Requiring chores of your children is a good way to prepare them for life. We start out with small easy things, then work towards more lofty goals. But in the end, we will have reaped a harvest of helpers if we can persevere through the learning years. Besides, our higher goal is to have children who serve God, and to reach that goal, we must teach them to be joyful servants of their families.
"But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant: Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many." Matthew 20:26-28
"...by love serve one another." Galatians 5:13b
Serving with you,
Deborah
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Schoolhouse Spotlight
Dena Wood, Schoolhouse Store Manager
So we all agree - chores are important! The Schoolhouse Store offers a couple of excellent resources to help you as you train your children in these important life skills.
Our popular Clean N' Flips walk children visually and systematically through the cleaning process. Pictures clearly identify tasks to be completed - everyone from pre-school to high school can easily follow along. Complete the task and flip the page. No more, "Oh, I forgot. . . !" This product is available in the two chart set or you can purchase the Zone Cleaning (with customizable daily/weekly jobs) and Bedroom Cleaning charts separately.
The Choreganizer helps children keep track of which chores they have to do and which are completed. With 48 colorful chore cards (plus blank cards to customize) and Mom Money and Dad Dollars for incentives, children are encouraged to work without complaining as they earn treats from the Chore Store.
- Dena
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 It's Just Common Sense
Ruth Beechick, Curriculum Specialist
I see numerous clever and useful charts and systems that homeschoolers use for getting chores done, and I have to admit that I used nothing like that. In fact, I don't remember that chores were ever a problem. Maybe that in itself is good news for you who are not this far along yet.
What I do remember is working a lot with my two sons. Together we would work on the yard or re-shingle the roof. That group work led to solo work by each of the boys because it was obvious that only one person could push the lawn mower or paint while on the ladder. I remember trying to teach now and then about the pleasures of doing jobs well and the necessity of doing them. I would say, "We need to do some upkeep on the house each year or it will deteriorate too much." My purpose was that they would take good care of their own homes, and both are hard workers today.
Making beds? Again, I can't remember. And I ask my sons if they remember me nagging them to clean their rooms or make beds, and they don't remember. But their rooms were always neat. Our family routine was to get up in the morning and quickly make our own beds. We just did it. Nobody complained.
I remember my mother sometimes going with us to our bean-picking job, picking along with me, and teaching how to do it faster and thoroughly. Lift the leaves to look underneath. Use both hands. Clear the pole from bottom to top before moving to the next pole.
With your larger families I'm sure the charts and checklists help. Teaching good attitude will help too. Work is not "work." It's the main part of living.
-Ruth
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 The Familyman
Todd Wilson, Familyman Ministries
The thing to remember about chores is that their purpose isn't to make our lives easier but to train our children for the future. We all know it's easier to sweep under the kitchen table ourselves than to have one of our children do it.
All I would have to do is get the broom and dustpan, sweep the floor, put the chairs back in place, and then return the broom and dustpan to the peg on the wall. But hey, I'm a parent who wants the best for my children so instead, I make a chore chart, post the chore chart, and enforce the chore chart, teaching them what's expected along the way.
Sometimes it looks like this:
Twenty minutes after dinner, I notice that the floor is covered with food. I check the chore chart and see who the guilty party's name is next to "sweep kitchen".
"So and So," I call, "You need to sweep the kitchen."
"I will," he answers.
"Now!" I say.
A few minutes later, the floor is swept, but the broom and dustpan are lying on the floor and the chairs are scattered about.
"So and So," I call again, "You need to put the broom and dustpan away and straighten the chairs."
"Sorry, I forgot," he or she responds.
A few minutes later, the chairs are in place and the broom is put away but the dustpan is still on the floor. That's usually when I start to rant and rave about the merits of being a team and that we must each do our job well in order for things to run smoothly. So you see, what would have taken me 5 minutes to do, instead takes ME and them 45 minutes to do. So what should I do?
I keep training. I keep assigning chores and making the kids do them because they're part of our family, part of the Wilson team, and because I know that if I don't train them to work now, they won't do it when they grow up.
Gotta go now and check the chore chart.
Be Real,
Todd
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 Homeschool Freebies
Julie Nott, TOS Marketing Manager
Chores, schmores! A couple of my kids need constant reminding to look at the chore chart every day and get 'em done. And then there are a couple who have realized the benefits of getting them done without being nagged to death!
We have a rule in our house, as I'm sure most of you do too, that there is no TV, computer or goofing off until the chores are done. And they follow the rule perfectly, without argument or delay every single day...NOT! Actually, my daughter has become really good at getting her chores done every day without being asked...at 15 she has finally learned the necessity of keeping Mom happy! She's a smart one!
I tell you what...my chore chart is my friend. Here's a few freebies I've found to help you develop yours:
Would you like to see the chore charts of other homeschooling families? Titus2.com has some examples here.
Happy Chore-ing!?!
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Aug. 28, 2006
Character... or Characters ? There is a difference!
A parent recounted a humorous story of someone asking his young homeschooled daughter why she wasn’t in school. She looked up at the stranger in the store and replied, "I am in school. My parents are teaching me to be a character!"
In the homeschool arena, the number is growing astronomically as more parents are coming to the realization that public or private schools aren’t working. They are afraid of the ever growing gang and drug problems in our society. Many people who aren’t believers in the Lord Jesus are also endeavoring to homeschool. It has become an ever growing popular alternative to public education.
As this grows, and as the conventions and homeschool support groups are trying to meet and mix everyone together under the political forum of "homeschooling", we need to ask ourselves WHY are we as believers training our children at home?
Are we training our children because we want them to be highly paid, successful professionals according to the world’s standards? Are we doing it for academic excellence?
Many believing parents have stated that they are simply homeschooling, or home training, their children because they wish to develop a character in their children which reflects God. As homeschooling parents, the majority of us are concerned with building "Character" within our children. Godly character training should be the priority in our homes... academics following AFTER.
Recently, there was a discussion held with some young people who were considering home schooling. They wanted "Character Training" to be defined. What does this mean? What exactly is it to train a character? For that matter, WHAT is character?
This question started a deep search as to what exactly do we mean by "Character Training"; what does the Word of God have to say about it; and HOW does one endeavor to do such a thing?
WHAT IS CHARACTER?
The word "Character" is defined: 1. The combination of qualities or features that distinguishes one person, group, or thing from another. 2. One such distinguishing feature or attribute; a characteristic. 3. The combined moral or ethical structure of a person or group. 4. Moral or ethical strength; integrity; fortitude. 5. Reputation: "I have not the character of being half as prudent as I really am" (Anne Langton). 6. Status; capacity; role; in his character as a father. 7. Informal. A person who is peculiar or eccentric. 8. A personage. 9. A person portrayed in a drama, novel, or other artistic piece. 10. A description of a person’s attributes, traits, or abilities.
There are more definitions listed that deal with a legal document or characters as in writing, but I’m sure you get the idea... We are trying to build "character" in our children.
Let’s simplify this definition. Let’s say that character training, in regard to building Godly character in our children, is to ensure that they have Biblical morals and ethics... That they have integrity and fortitude. That they have, last but not least, a Godly reputation.
On the other hand, we do NOT wish our children to grow up to be "characters". I’m sure you have heard people say in regards to someone, "My, but that person is a character, isn’t he?" and then they chuckle. When this is said of an individual it definately isn’t being spoken because people are noticing this person’s high degree of moral integrity. Mostly, it is the opposite and they are reacting to a person’s eccentricity.
WHEN WE AS BELIEVERS ENDEAVOR TO TEACH CHARACTER TO OUR CHILDREN, WE ARE TEACHING THEM TO HAVE INTEGRITY... A TRAIT THAT THE WORLD KNOWS LITTLE ABOUT!
Our duty in regards to Character training in our children is to instill in them integrity. Do you know that integrity means that one has a rigid adherence to a code of behavior? It means to be unimpaired; to be sound. Its synonym is HONESTY. The middle English word was integrite and meant completeness and purity.
WHAT CODE OF BEHAVIOR WILL WE TEACH OUR CHILDREN TO ADHERE TO?
Our code of behavior will be in accordance to the Word of God. We will teach our children to simply OBEY God’s Word.
Are you old enough to remember a dress code when you went to public school? Remember how the school system placed these rules on the students?
What happened if one didn’t obey? They would be expelled from school. It was as simple as that. They would be given three chances and if one didn’t conform they were out. Some schools didn’t even GIVE those three chances.
Can you compare the Kingdom of Heaven with this? If we do not conform to the rules or obey or believe in Christ, we are out? Can you compare integrity with this? No, not really, because there is a difference here. The difference is that integrity is based upon obedience to God’s Word because we LOVE Him not because one HAS to. When we teach our children to come to God, we teach them to LOVE God. We don’t teach them that you better believe in Jesus or else He’s going to burn you up in the fires of hell. A young child would then never understand the love of God. We teach our children that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that if you BELIEVE in Him, that you will have everlasting life. This is what integrity is all about. That our children will adhere to the Word of God because they have come to have a deep and abiding LOVE of God. Please know that we are COMMANDED to teach our children the FEAR of the Lord, but this FEAR also includes in the definition to be in awe of, to reverence... Not to just be afraid of someone because they might do something bad to you.
The reason why one adheres to codes such as "dress codes" in public school is because if they don’t they will be made an example of punishment. We did not obey those codes because we adored or loved the school. It was because we loved and cared for our own self and didn’t want to be in trouble.
What does it mean to love God...? If you look up "LOVE" in the English Dictionary, you will find that it says that love is an intense affectionate concern for another person. Under the theological definition it stated: "God’s benevolence and mercy toward man. Man’s devotion to or adoration of God." Again, there were no feelings like this in regard to obeying the rules of the school.
The main thing in teaching our children to have "integrity" is to make sure that they LOVE God...
Deuteronomy 6:5-6 "And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with ALL thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might."
Joshua 22:5 "But take diligent heed to do the commandment and the law, which Moses the servant of the Lord charged you, to love the Lord your God, and to walk in all his ways, and to keep his commandments, and to cleave unto him, and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul."
Teaching our children to love God is the whole basis of Character Training... Sounds simple, doesn’t it?
If you continue on with Deuteronomy 6:5, 6 to verse 7, it not only tells us to love God with everything in us, it goes on to read:
"And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart; And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou attest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
WE NEED TO TEACH OUR CHILDREN TO BE UNIMPAIRED!
The meaning of "impared" is to diminish in strength, value, quantity, or quality. It means to make something worse. The synonym is to injure. To keep our children unimpared means to keep them whole! Or in biblical terms, "unspotted from the world".
I’m sure that each of us trying to train our children can make a list of things of this world that we have denied our children. Unbelievers look at us and do not understand how we can live without all the pleasures that they fill their lives with in order to pacify that void of not knowing God.
In the world that we live in, if we endeavor to train our children to be unimpared, we can know that we will be accused of many things. People will state that we are sheltering our children, that they are not properly socialized, and that they will not fit in with "normal" people. But stand firm, be of good cheer!
James 1:27 encourages us "Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world."
CHARACTER TRAINING MEANS TO TEACH OUR CHILDREN TO BE SOUND!
The dictionary definition for sound in this connotation is: 1. Free from defect, decay, or damage; in good condition. 2. Free from disease or injury; healthy; sound in body and in mind. 3. Having a firm basis; solid; unshakable; a sound foundation. 4. Founded on valid reasoning; free from misapprehension; sensible and correct. 5. Thorough; complete. 6. Deep and unbroken; undisturbed. 7. Free from moral defect; upright; honorable.
Isn’t this a perfect description of what we wish our children’s character to be like?
The scriptures talk often about "soundness":
2 Timothy 1:7 "For God hath not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
2 Timothy 1:13 "Hold fast the form of sound words, which thou hast heard of me, in faith and love which is in Christ Jesus."
Titus 1:9-13 "Holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers.
Titus 2:1 "But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine."
We do not know what the future holds. The Scriptures tell us that in the last days many people will depart from Truth, or sound doctrine. Already, there are many in the pulpits today who are departing from the scriptural Truth of God’s Word and teaching vain philosophies and superstitions of men. Humanism and New Age philosophies are now subtlety infiltrating ministries that use to be sound doctrinally. This is why it is so important that our children are taught to have Godly Character!
To spend the majority of our school time on Mathematic, Science, World History ("world" history? ), etc., and minoring on teaching our children sound doctrine is exactly what the world approves of in our home schools. But what does GOD think of this?
As the days are waxing worse and worse, as false prophets and false teachings increase, wouldn’t it be more profitable to be spending time teaching our children the Truth of the Word of God and exposing the false doctrines they might encounter? Wouldn’t it be right to equip them with scriptures that will expose humanism and New Age teachings? We must saturate our children in Scriptural teachings and then work on academics. Not visa versa.
How do we teach our children to be "sound"? By teaching them to line up every single thought, every teaching, with the Word of God. The Bible tells us:
2 Corinthians 10:5 "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience to Christ."
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May. 4, 2006
Children’s Bedroom Management
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Do these tasks during
Your children need to learn how to organize, how to work efficiently, and how to stick to a task. You will probably have to do this work with them for awhile until they have learned how. After you feel they have successfully learned how to do the work, you will then need to inspect it after they are done and hold them accountable. If they see you doing these same tasks in your bedroom while they are working, they will work more willingly. They hate to feel that they are missing out on something else that is going on in the house
Week 1
Have the children straighten and de-clutter the tops of their
desks
dressers
tables
window sills
or any other flat surfaces in their bedrooms. Assign one surface per day, or assign a time period per day, or assign a day of the week to spend some time on this area of their bedroom.
Week 2
This week have the children clean
under the beds
After shoveling it all out (the fun part) they might be overwhelmed.
Give them a trash bag for the trash.
Then put all books away.
Next, all stuffed animals,
and the rest of the toys.
Finally, whatever else is left. Hopefully, there are no rotten apple cores.
Like everything else, if this is done on a regular basis, it never gets that bad. But left for 6 months, it can be quite a trial.
Week 3
This week is for the children to straighten their closets.
Have them get in the corners, nooks, and crannies, and dig all the things out that they might have tossed in and forgotten about.
After digging out, they must put things in their proper place.
Put the clothes on the shelves or hang up. If they are old enough to sort out the torn, stained, too small, unworn clothes have them do so and put into the trash or a give-away box.
Week 4
This week, the children de-clutter, straighten, and thoroughly dust the shelves in their rooms.
Week 5
This week have the children clean
windows, as needed and if able to,
walls, de-clutter and catch cobwebs,
light switches, wipe grime from,
lights, dust and change bulbs if able to,
door, dust top, wipe grime and door knob.
Afternoon Chore Time, work hard for 15 minutes. Take a break if it’s not done, then work for another 15 minutes. Teach them to complete the job and not leave it half-way.
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May. 4, 2006
Top 10 home management problems and the solutions
Top 10 home management problems and the solutions
10 The Lord’s Day
Symptoms: missing clothes, shoes, nothing for dinner, a dirty van, missing Bibles, a child or two with long dirty fingernails, arriving late, a diaper bag with no diapers in it, and a grumpy family.
Solutions: Have a regular laundry day and put the Sunday clothes in a secure place (master bedroom closet), including shoes. Plan your meal and load it in the crockpot on Saturday and stick it in the refrigerator. On Sunday morning, pull it out and plug it in. Create the habit of cleaning the van every Saturday making it a rule that work comes before play (assign this chore to your children). Pack the diaper bag and needed materials including Bibles the day before and take it to the van right away on Saturday(assign this to a child also). Have a routine of Saturday night baths including a nail cutting routine. Do not sleep-in; a day of rest does not mean sleep-in and be late for worship. It helps to stay home on Saturday night. Wake up with a cheery attitude because you’re prepared, well-rested, and spread that sunshine to your family!
9 Dust
Symptoms: Freaking-out-embarrassment when somebody knocks at the door and you glance around to see everything covered with dust. Children who sneeze a lot. Sitting down on a couch and a puff of dust erupts into the air or one child tosses a pillow at another child and a cloud of dust explodes upon contact.
Solutions: Regular dusting of course. Assign rooms to your children. Use a quality ostrich feather duster daily-it’s fast and fun. Weekly use a micro-fiber cloth and do a thorough dusting. Monthly, if you have lots of children shedding lots of skin cells (that’s what most dust is) vacuum the furniture and pillows.
8 Floors
Symptoms: Feet sticking to floors. Dust, crayons, Legos, gum wrappers and small papers cluttered around the edges of rooms.
Solutions: Pick up and sweep your busiest rooms daily including the edges. Less busy rooms: Vacuum weekly and do the edges monthly. Make it a routine, write it on the calendar, and assign rooms to your children. Assign a child to spot-mop daily; this is a great chore for a pre-schooler. Do a thorough mopping once a week. Read aloud to your children while they mop-give each mopper a pan scraper to get the tough spots and stickers up.
7 Closets and Cupboards
Symptoms: The fear of opening a closet. Cringing when a child starts to open a cupboard door. Instead of telling your friend or mother where to find something in the cupboard, you say, “I’ll get it for you.”
Solutions: Once a week (assign a day and write it on your calendar) organize and clean one cupboard or closet. By pecking away at it slowly and adding this habit to your life, your closets and cupboards will stay organized. It’s not something that you do once a year or two or five, it’s an ongoing routine.
6 Bathroom Management
Symptoms: A child yelling, “Get me some toilet paper!!!” or “I need a towel!!!” An utterly disgusting toilet that causes your guests to hold it rather than use your bathroom. People walk out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to their feet. There are ribbons, bows, and barrettes scattered about. Your new pet is the hairball in the shower drain. You don’t know if your hair is graying or if it’s just toothpaste splatters on the mirror.
Solutions: Write down each particular bathroom chore. Decide how often it needs done and assign it to a child and a day. Post these chores on the mirror. Establish a mantra-“Every time you go into the bathroom do something to clean it”. Do daily chore checks on the bathrooms and hand out punishments and rewards. Now, be confident that the next time your sister visits she won’t cringe when she needs to use the bathroom.
5 Kitchen Management
Symptoms: You’re afraid the health department will condemn your kitchen. It smells, and not like a baking pumpkin pie. Greasy gunk drips from your stove lights. You panic at 5 o’clock because you don’t know what’s for supper. There is an orange puddle at the bottom of your refrigerator and you don’t know what it is or where it came from. The kitchen rags make your hands stink. There are 3 bags of trash waiting to go out. When you walked into the kitchen this morning you saw a mouse.
Solutions: Clean as you cook. When you see something dirty, grab the kitchen rag and wash it now, do not put it off. Assign a day to the Kitchen and devote some time to doing regular cleaning chores: refrigerator, the window over the sink and window sill, stove, counters-front to back. If you do these chores on a regular basis they go fast because it’s almost like cleaning something that’s already clean. If you put these chores off for months, it takes a much longer time because you have to SCRUB.
4 Laundry
Symptoms: Piles of clothes in various stages of cleanliness. Your washer is full of wet clothes and they stink. The dryer is full of clothes that are cold and wrinkly. Your husband informed you this morning that he has no _____ (fill in the blank) to wear. It’s Sunday and your children’s Sunday clothes are still dirty from last week. You buy new clothes for your children when shopping because they have nothing to wear, but the truth is that they have nothing CLEAN to wear. You have permanently stained clothing because you didn’t treat it fast enough or it grew moldy in the dirty laundry.
Solutions: Assign a regular day for laundry work. On this day, do as many loads as possible, spend just one hour doing ironing and/or mending instead of your craft/sewing project. On the other days make a goal of doing a certain amount of loads from start to finish (that includes putting the folded loads away). Assign certain days for certain loads.
3 Clutter-paper, toys, duplicates
Symptoms: People out and out call you a pack rat. You don’t throw things away. You say, “I might need this sometime.” You have piles of papers, books, magazines, and newspapers in various places. You have boxes of things that are “in storage”. You have clothes in your closet from high school or college. There are shoes in your closet that you haven’t worn since your first pregnancy. There are two of many gadgets in your kitchen. Your children have so many toys that they can’t pick them up in ten minutes and it’s not a work ethic problem. You lose bills and other important papers and pay the subsequent late fees.
Solutions: Start with your attitude, think about this, “There are people who will wake up tomorrow morning and go to work and make more of _____.” Is the item irreplaceable? Did you use the item in the last year? Be real, will you ever finish the project? Do you have room to keep it, would you rather do something else with the space? Does it cost you to keep the item? Will moving the item out make it faster and easier to clean? Do you truly love the item? Can you take a picture of it to keep the memory that goes with it? Start slowly with one room at a time; assign one small part of a day, once a week to de-cluttering. If the item is no good to anyone, put it in the trash, if it’s possibly worth something then put in a box for the consignment or thrift shop. Be generous and bless another family with things you don’t need anymore. Do not horde.
2 Habits
Symptoms: You have problems with any of the previously listed things. When you bring in your groceries, you plunk them down and might take a week to put things away. Your family lives out of laundry baskets instead of dressers and closets. Your children don’t know what’s going to happen from one day to the next. You eat out a lot or from frozen food entrées because you don’t plan your meals or plan on learning to cook. Your children are tired and grumpy because maybe they get a nap, maybe they don’t, and maybe they go to bed early or maybe not. Your calendar is full of so many things that you live in your van. Your children don’t do chores because you don’t assign any or you’re not home long enough to get the chores done. You have dishes and glasses around the house as if they were décor. You feel frumpy.
Solutions: Replace the bad with the good. Start small and build on established habits that are good. Post little notes around your house as reminders “Do the next thing” and “Do it now” and “Work smarter not harder” and “Pick it up, don’t lay it down” and “Put things where they belong” and “Every time you leave a room, do something to make it look better”. It starts with the mom, set a good example yourself while teaching your children these things.
The Number One Home Management Problem is Attitude
Symptoms: “I didn’t make that mess.” “I wasn’t trained for this.” “I’m not a good cook.” “I’m not good at laundry like _____.” “I’m too smart for this kind of menial labor.” “I’m incompetent at this.” “I don’t know how_____.” Instead of servant attitude like Christ you have a “serve me” attitude that was carried over from childhood. “I don’t want to _____” and so you don’t. If nobody does it, then it doesn’t get done. “I’m tired.” “I’m sick.” “I’m pregnant.” “I have a headache.” “These kids are driving me crazy.” “This is not what I’m here for.”
Solutions: Are you a Christian? Study what the Bible has to say about work. There used to be this thing called a Christian Work Ethic. Sadly, it seems to have been euthanized with soft living and feminism.
Home is the private life, it is the haven for our husbands, it is the structure for our children, and the creative outlet for Godly women. It is where the most important parts of life are lived. Children learn how to live in homes. They learn from the routines of life, the conversations held, the family traditions, and the ins and outs of living and loving within the home. If home management is a train wreck, it affects the way life is experienced by everyone who lives in the home.
The woman of the home has traditionally been the homekeeper and Biblically speaking it is her God-ordained position. Feminism has robbed women of their true purpose, it has taught us to pity ourselves for a myriad of reasons, it has taught us that men are jerks and we should be more like them. Is that logical? Is that biblical? Living in God’s will is a blessing to everyone around you. Simply because we have been brainwashed by feminism is not an excuse for doing nothing. If you need wisdom, ask God, and seek it in His word and through His people.
Create your home to be the place where you and your family can be at rest, be hospitable, and be creative with the unique gifts God has given you. Learn how to do things, when to do them, why to do them. The homekeepers of the past lived their lives by the rhythms of the seasons, and ordered their days in a practical way that completed their work in a timely manner. Remember the embroidered dish towels that you find in antique stores? One for each day of the week and the work that went with that day. Satisfaction comes with cleanliness and order, it then leaves time for creative energy and for teaching the next generation in the way they should go. We have lost that but it is not an excuse for a bad attitude. Learn to make your home feel welcoming to those who live there and those who visit you. Learn to be a blessing on others. It is not too late for you and it is your responsibility to teach your children these things. You cannot teach what you do not know, learn with your children at your side.
People love to live in a home that is well-kept. It is honoring to your husband. Your children will rise up and call you blessed. You will have inner peace, knowing that you are in God’s will and the peacefulness that comes from within will spread throughout your home. Soon your systems will be running smoothly, and once you possess the knowledge, you don’t lose it. You can re-establish those systems when they are thrown off by a new baby, sickness, or another life event. Mess breeds mess and order breeds order. When you get the ball of order rolling, it will snowball for you, one roll at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time.
Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Jesus Christ. Colossians 3:23-24
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Sep. 22, 2005
The Value of Work in Developing Character
The Value of Work in Developing Character
Moore Foundation - Reprinted with Permission
Teaching children to work is a vital part of the Moore Formula and is so Important, in fact, that if either work or study should have precedence over the other, it would be more important to include work. We should apply the principle given by jesus in Matt. 23:23 when he said, “These you ought to have done, without leaving the other undone,” The Bible says a great deal about work. Some people don’t realize that the fourth commandment includes work, but if we are to live by every word that proceedeth from the mouth of God, it is pretty plain when He commands, “Six days shall thou labor and do all thy work,” Jesus Himself gave us an example by working in his father’s carpenter shop.
From a very early age, children should be taught to work, beginning with taking care of their own possessions. At this point their willingness far overshadows their value, but that’s when you need to capitalize on it. I think of when our daughter’s eighteen-month-old Bryon was a nuisance around the dishwasher. She finally decided that she should make use of his eagerness and let him put her almost unbreakable dishes away in a low cupboard which he could easily reach. Later on she told her then four-year-old (Bryon) to put his blocks away before leaving in the car for errands, and two-year-old Brent said, “Me help, too.”
Several years ago we visited the Harold Brewer family in New Jersey. Four-year-old Josh got up early in the morning, went to his daddy’s bedside, patted him on the face and whispered, “Daddy, let’s go play in the garden.” When work is done with your child, especially at an early age, he can learn that work is fun. Whether raking leaves, making the bed or doing the dishes, help your children enjoy it by doing it with them as much as possible, at least until they really learn how to do the job well. Teach them to sing while they learn to work efficiently and happily. Do you remember the Snow white dwarf who sang “Whistle while you work?”
Work is good for children. One research study found that the willingness and capacity to work during childhood is the most important forerunner of mental heal in adulthood. It supersedes native intelligence, social class or family situation. Household chores help train the child’s memory, as well as concentration, self-discipline and the ability to complete a cycle of activity. along with service, it is also the best way to build a healthy sense of self-worth.
Probably nothing is more devastating to a grown person than never to have been trained to work in childhood. I read of a woman who was asked by a rehabilitation center to counsel men who had been classified as unemployable. They were not derelicts. On the contrary, they were well-dressed and articulate. As she worked with these men, she discovered a common denominator. None had learned to work as children Either through neglect or indulgence, the effect is the same.
William Kilpatrick, in his book Why Johnny Can’t Tell Right from Wrong, tells of a Harvard study which followed the lives of 465 boys into middle age. It was found that the boys who had jobs or household chores grew up to become happier adults, had higher-paying jobs and attained greater job satisfaction. They also had better marriages and better relationships with their children and friends, and were physically healthier than adults who had not had such responsibilities as children. George E. Vaillant, the psychiatrist who conducted the study, explains that boys who worked in the home or community gained competence and came to feel that they were worth-while members of society. Because they had a good self-concept, others had confidence in them also.
When Paul sent his second epistle to the Thessalonians, he reminded them in chapter 3:8 - 10 that he did not ‘eat’ anyone’s bread free of charge, but “worked with labor and toil night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, not because owe do not have authority, but to make ourselves and example of how you should follow us. For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: ‘If anyone will not work; neither shall he eat.”” This principle applies to the obligation of everyone in the family to share in the chores as they benefit by food and shelter. Children should feel that they are needed and valued as members of the family team.
Virtues such as neatness, diligence, responsibility, punctuality, attentiveness, self-restraint, and appropriate personal habits don’t just develop. They are learned by the example and encouragement of parents who care enough about their children to nurture these traits in work experience, either at home or for others. As soon as children are old enough to do simple neighborhood jobs to earn their own money or get into their own business, they will reap even greater advantages, such as the importance of promptness, courtesy, reliability and being businesslike – one of the best ways to learn and practice good social skills. If they really get involved and excited about their business, they will lose interest in some of the things you really don’t want them to do anyway – immersion in video games, TV, other amusements and even sports, which often become addictive. A good job or business is often a solution for young people who have burned out in school or in other ways have gotten off the track.
Instead of spending long days at school, homeschoolers have the time to become volunteers, entrepreneurs, get neighborhood jobs or apprenticeships and thus gain skills which can become lifelong careers, or earn money for college or special training. This may be the means of changing the trend of poverty for children of very poor families.
Here are some of my favorite quotations on this subject: “An education derived chiefly from books leads to superficial thinking. Practical work encourages close observation and independent thought. Rightly performed, it tends to develop that practical wisdom which we call common sense. it develops ability to plan and execute, strengthens courage and perseverance, and calls for the exercise of tact and skill.” Education, P. 220
“For their own physical health and moral good, children should be taught to work, even if there is no necessity so far as want is concerned. If they would have pure and virtuous characters, they must have the discipline of well-regulated labor, which will bring into exercise all the muscles. The satisfaction that children will have in being useful, and in denying themselves to help others, will be the most healthful pleasure they ever enjoyed. Why should the wealthy rob themselves and their dear children of this great blessing?” Fundamentals of Education p. 36
Reprinted with permission from the Moore Report International, a publication of the Raymond and Dorothy N.Moore Foundation, Inc. For information about the on-going research and work of the Moore Foundation:
Box 1, Camas, Washington, 98607;
Telephone: 360-835-5500; Web Site: http://www.moorefoundation.com
Books: The Successful Homeschool Family Handbook; Minding Your Own Business, HOME-SPUN SCHOOLS, HOME GROWN KIDS and many others. The Moore Foundation also publishes a catalog of excellent homeschooling resources.
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Aug. 30, 2005
Children and Chores
Mom's Corner - August 2005
Children and chores. I wonder if there is any more difficult area of
raising children to tackle than this one. In the chore survey we
sent out with the June Corners, we gathered a huge quantity of
information about chores. In a nutshell, from the questions we
asked, here is a summary. Most moms weren't prepared, while growing
up, to be homemakers. Consequently they have struggled—some greatly—
with taking care of their families and homes. A handful of the
respondents were prepared. Those who were prepared attribute it to
having to do chores when they were children.
Every one of the over 250 survey respondents believed that chores
were beneficial for the children and the family. The list of reasons
why chores are good was long and varied. Some of the benefits were
current for the child, the family, and the home. Many of the
benefits would be realized and enjoyed throughout the adult years of
the child's life.
From the survey, the biggest difficulty with chores was first
working with children—having to remind them, their negative
attitudes, and their poor work. The second major problem was Mom's
lack of consistency—in developing a chore plan, in scheduling time
for chores, in checking the work that was done, and in giving
consequences for a bad job and rewards for good work.
The chore poll confirmed what we already knew—that chores are
important in our children's lives, and chores need to be made a
priority in our homes. In our culture, with its "let children be
children philosophy," it is easy to believe we are doing our
children a disservice by expecting them to have responsibility as
they are growing up. In reality, the opposite is true. If we choose
not to give our children chores and teach them to accomplish them
well, we are handicapping our children for their futures as adults.
There are a multitude of long-term benefits our children will
realize from the disciplines and skills they will develop as a
result of chore responsibilities.
At one point, Steve and I realized our struggles with many
unsuccessful years of chores had come because we wanted our children
to be responsible for their chores, but we hadn't made it the
priority it needed to be to ensure that it happened. As is so often
true of anything good we want to accomplish in our children's lives,
it comes back to Mom. If I don't have an accepting attitude toward
my work, the children won't toward theirs. If I don't assign the
children chores, they won't do any. If I don't schedule a time for
them to do chores, they will forget all day. If I don't check their
work, they will do it sloppily, if at all. If I don't give
consequences, they won't be motivated to improve their chore
performance.
To be honest, I would like it if so much didn't depend on me. At the
same time, I know the Lord uses all of this not only in my
children's lives, but also in my life as well. I am told in
Galatians 6:9, "And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due
season we shall reap, if we faint not." Even if this part of
motherhood is difficult, I am not to give up. I am not to grow
weary.
I have to admit I have wanted to give up – more than once! I can
remember telling Steve that perhaps I could let the children grow up
but keep their bedroom doors closed and never go in. I would ignore
the fact that they weren't doing what they had been assigned to do
in their rooms. Eventually they would be adults. It would no longer
be my responsibility as to whether they picked up their bedrooms or
didn't. Even while speaking those words, I knew this was not an
option the Lord was putting before me. He had told me in Titus 2:4
to love my children. Part of loving them was the necessity of
teaching them to be responsible.
This area of children and chores is vitally important. As we have
studied chores and their impact on children's lives and then on them
as adults, we have come to see that chores are as critical as
homeschooling is. It is an essential part of their education like
their book work. Being aware of the benefits of chores is a major
part of the necessary motivation to make the daily decisions that
will foster chore success.
My encouragement to you is to make chores a priority for your
children. See chores as much a part of your child's education as his
math book is. When you view chores in this light, you will be
motivated to invest the time and energy needed to be successful with
chores. After all, it does mostly fall back on us moms. Will we
women, who seek the best for our children, hold them responsible to
do their chores?
Teri Maxwell
Written by Teri Maxwell, co-author of Managers of Their Homes, A
Practical Guide to Daily Scheduling for Christian Homeschool
Families, Keeping Our Children's Hearts, Just Around the Corner:
Encouragement and Challenge for Homeschooling Dads and Moms and
author of Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit.
Teri Maxwell is the mother of eight children and began homeschooling
in 1985. Three of her children have graduated from homeschool, two
are still living in their home and one is married. Teri is a
homeschool conference speaker and has been writing monthly articles
of encouragement for homeschooling moms since 1990.
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Aug. 20, 2005
Daily Chore Article
Daily Chores
There are some things we just have to do every day to keep our homes looking their best, but another benefit to doing daily chores is that they make those weekly and seasonal chores much easier to handle.
Daily Kitchen Chores
The kitchen is one of the most important places to keep clean in your home. Food poisoning (which can range from "my stomach is upset" to death) is always a possibility in a dirty kitchen. It is especially important to have a clean kitchen if you have children, elderly individuals, or anyone with a weakened immune system in your home. Plus, think about it, would you want to eat food from a restaurant if you knew it was prepared in a dirty kitchen? Probably not, then why should you subject your family members and guests to such eating conditions?
a.. Wash dishes
Food left on dishes is an excellent breeding ground for germs. If you have a dishwasher, run it at night, and empty it in the morning; then fill it up with dirty dishes throughout the day rather than piling them in the sink or counter. You'll barely even notice that there were dishes to do. If you have to run several loads every day, you'll need to do this several times a day, but always make sure you empty it as soon as the washing is done, so you'll have a place to put in all those dirty dishes. If you don't have a dishwasher, try to wash dishes after every meal because it will seem less overwhelming than a huge pile that has built up throughout the day. Make this a family habit and add unloading the dishwasher or washing dishes by hand it to your kids' chore lists.
b.. Wipe down counters
Having clean counters makes your kitchen look clean, even when the floor is dirty and the sink is full of dishes. Plus, clean counters keep pests from being attracted to crumbs and germs from spreading. I recommend using washcloths and towels instead of sponges because sponges are breeding grounds for germs, even if you wash them every day. Washcloths can be thrown into the laundry pile or washed immediately after use and hung up to dry (they air dry much faster than sponges). Just wipe them down quickly after every time you use the kitchen (make this a family habit). It only takes 30 seconds.
c.. Wipe down sink
Everything else in your kitchen could be spotless, but if your sink is dirty, your entire kitchen looks unsanitary. If you haven't used your sink for dishes (if you have a dishwasher) it should be pretty clean, assuming that you haven't let scraped off food sit in there all day, but it still should get a good wipe down once a day. If you wash your dishes by hand, you can just clean your sink while you wash the dishes.
d.. Sweep kitchen floor
If you don't do it, your kitchen will become a buffet for ants, roaches, mice, and other pests. Sweep things up as soon as they land on the floor if you have a pest problem or like to keep things looking clean all the time, or do it at the end of the day if you are a bit on the lazy side or put it on your kids' chore lists.
e.. Take out kitchen trash
If it needs to be done, do it. If you have kids, put it on their chore lists.
Daily Bathroom Chores
a.. Wipe down counters
Wipe down counters
This only needs to be done if there's hair, toothpaste, water puddles, and such making the place look unsightly. The quickest way to do this is to have a washcloth designated for cleaning hanging near your counter. Just wipe it down quickly whenever you make a mess. It should take no more than 10 seconds. Make this a family habit.
b.. Wipe down sinks
You'll be surprised how easy it is to do your weekly bathroom cleaning if you just wipe down the sink every day. Plus, you won't have to gross out your guests by having built up gunk in the sink when they drop by unexpectedly. Just wipe it down whenever you make a mess. If you do it while you wipe down your counters, you won't even notice it taking any extra time. Make this a family habit.
c.. Rinse out showers / tubs
This really cuts down on your weekly cleaning labor by not letting hard water, soap scum, hair, and oils build up in the first place. Just have your family members do it at the end of every bath / shower.
Daily Vacuuming and Floor Cleaning Chores
a.. Vacuum or sweep up any crumbs or obvious messes
Get to it before somebody walks through it and tracks it all over the house, or before pests find it (if it's food). Handheld vacuums are great for this, but you have to make sure you get one with power; cheap ones don't pick up anything. Kids really like sucking things up with those handheld vacuums, so don't hesitate to have them do the dirty work.
Daily Bedroom Chores
a.. Make the bed
No matter what else you do in your bedroom, make your bed. I know it seems stupid to make your bed when you're just going to tear it all apart again, but it really does give the room a lift and makes it more relaxing at bedtime (really it does). It's also an excellent chore for kids to learn to take pride in their room.
Daily Laundry Chores
a.. Wash and fold at least one load of laundry
If you have your own washer and dryer, do a load of laundry every day, and you'll never have to waste your whole day off doing laundry. Throw it in the washer during the morning. If you do it as soon as you get up (assuming you get up an hour or two before you have to leave the house), it will be ready for the dryer before you leave. If you throw it in the washer immediately before you leave, throw it in the dryer during your lunch or as soon as you get home. Then iron it and fold or put it on hangers while you watch your favorite evening television show, and put it all away when your show is over. You can also have your kids do it (but make sure that they don't do any ironing without you around to make sure they don't burn themselves).
Daily Paperwork Chores
a.. Pick up and sort mail
I highly suggest handling your mail as soon as you get it. Don't just sort it into piles to be dealt with later. Deal with it now. Throw the junk mail into the recycling bin (shredding anything that looks like it could be used for ID theft, like credit card offers). Pass out items to individual family members. Open your bills and any correspondence from business you deal with, throw out the ads and they always seem to have inside and quickly scan through any inserts; then prepare them for bill paying and whatever you need to do to respond to them, and put them in your to-do box. Read letters, brochures, and catalogs, or put them in a place where you can read them when you have time (like your bag, so you can read them during lunch or in a waiting room, or in a basket near your favorite chair, so you can read them during commercials while you watch your favorite show. File anything that needs to be filed ASAP, or place it in your "to be filed" box for your weekly paperwork chores.
Daily Grocery and Cooking Chores
a.. Cook at least one healthy, homemade meal
You don't have to be a 50's tv mom to make a healthy meal, but having at least one homemade, healthy meal every day will ensure that you and your family members aren't living off of fast food and processed, pre-packaged foods that can be terrible for your health. It's also a good way to teach your children to cook (as every parent should do to prepare them for life in the real world where parents don't always cook for you).
b.. Add needed items to the shopping list
Keep your list on the refrigerator along with a pen or pencil (there are some magnetic mounts for pens / pencils, so you can just stick it on your refrigerator next to your list). Every time you notice that you need to buy something, write it down immediately. Make sure everyone gets into this habit.
Daily Misc. Chores
a.. Pick up misplaced items around the house and return them to their proper place
Pick up misplaced items around the house and return them to their proper place
Everyone needs to pitch in on this. If people put things back where they belong immediately after use, you won't have much to clean up. Tell all family members that they must put things away (or at least put things that belong to them in their bedrooms) before they go to bed.
b.. Straighten up any area that may be seen by guests
Straighten up any area that may be seen by guests
If your front door opens up into your living room, try to keep your living room tidy, so guests will never suspect how sloppy the rest of the house looks. Keep the doors to messy rooms closed.
c.. Clean up any mess immediately after you make or find it
It doesn't matter where it happened or who did it; it needs to be picked up. If you know who made it, try to get them to clean it up. If they simply can't clean it for whatever reason (too young, sick, and such), quit whining and do it yourself. If somebody who is perfectly able to clean it up creates the mess and leaves (goes to work, school, friends house, and such) without cleaning it; make sure they have other obligations they will need to fulfill to make up for it (such as, doing one or more of your chores for you).
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Aug. 9, 2005
Organization with Chore Cards! Love them!
I read from another blogger about how they use index cards to list daily chores. I always have my kids doing their "chore training" throughout the day, but this idea just hit me......it would make MY life easier if they followed cards, instead of having me watch over their shoulders to see if chores were getting done.
Well, after a few weeks of using these chore cards, I have found that I can no longer live without them! What a great and simple idea! Why didn't I think of this?!?!
I took 3x5 cards and labeled them with each child's individual name and the chore to be completed. When the chore is completed, the child "checks it off" by putting it back in the index card box. I also made dividers for each section of cards. I would put the part of the day that particular chores would need to be completed by each child along with their name. Ex: Annalise -Morning Chores, Kaitlyn - Afternoon Chores, etc. I also made a divider for misc. chores. I take those misc. cards and place them in a stack for a child on a day that the particular chore needs to be completed (take trash out to the curb, clean bathrooms, wash windows, etc.)....in other words, things that aren't done on a daily basis. I have EVEN gone so far as to make "School Chores." I put them in their regular "morning, afternoon and evening dividers" when I think they should be done. For example: Math Game, Geography Game, Seat work, Reading, etc. That has worked wonders too with attitudes! They love to see a "game" card in their pile!
This system is EASY and AWESOME! My kids are even excited about this system. In fact, they told Daddy that they "get to do" the chores! Wonderful! Love it!
I also utilize an article I found a great while ago, called: "Chores by Ages" as a guideline for our chore list. You can e-mail me off list if you would like to see a copy...it's rather long. carolinametzgers@earrthlink.net
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Jul. 10, 2005
Chores by Age
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9 - 24 months
a.. Putting dirty clothes in hamper.
b.. "Helping" with grocery shopping (putting items in basket and on
check-out counter, handing things to mom to be put away at home.)
c.. Cleaning with mom (give child a dust rag, child size broom, empty
spray can/windex bottle for "pretend" cleaning).
d.. Watering plants (with pre-measured amounts!).
e.. Beginning to help make beds - (begins with handing the pillows to mom
until later).
f.. Yard work (helping collect trash and toys, etc.).
g.. Simple errands ("bring the diaper to mommy, please," etc.).
2 - 3 years
a.. As language develops, requiring politeness on a regular basis ("Yes
ma'am", "No sir", "May I please be excused", greeting, etc.).
b.. Generally including child in every-day activities on a regular basis
(cleaning, shopping, etc.).
c.. More complicated errands ("Take this towel and put it in the hamper",
etc.).
d.. Laundry (beginning to help with sorting by mom handing him things to
put in appropriate piles, transferring clothes from dryer to basket, etc.).
e.. Learning more specific neatness qualities (putting toys in proper
spots).
f.. Taking his dishes to the sink and helping to clear table.
g.. Carrying groceries in from car (give child one light item or a small
bag).
h.. General errands (carrying diaper bag into meeting, carrying mom's
purse to the car, etc.).
i.. Simple decision-making ("Would you like juice or milk to drink?").
j.. Put books and magazines in a rack.
k.. Place napkins, plates, and silverware on the table.
l.. Clean up what they drop after eating.
m.. Toilet training.
3 -4 years
a.. Making bed (begins with watching mom -- mom helping child -- mom
watching child) standards must be clear and reminders frequent.
b.. Keeping room neat and taking daily responsibility for it.
c.. Regular morning routine becoming established (getting dressed,
cleaning room before breakfast).
d.. More complex decision-making ("Would you like to wear the blue or
green pants?").
e.. Becoming "other-oriented" (drawing pictures for someone, making
encouragement notes to dictate to mom, thank you notes for birthday gifts).
f.. Learning to use the telephone properly.
g.. Established and regular responsibilities (bedroom, getting the mail,
emptying bathroom trash cans, etc.).
h.. Helping wash the car.
i.. Simple hygiene - brush teeth, wash and dry hands and face, and brush
hair.
j.. Undress self - dress with some help.
k.. Carry boxed or canned goods from the grocery sacks to the proper
shelf.
4 - 5 years
a.. Taking his laundry to designated place on laundry day.
b.. Sorting laundry with supervision.
c.. Begin learning to fold laundry and put it away.
d.. Hang socks, handkerchiefs, and washcloths on a low line.
e.. Vacuuming/sweeping.
f.. Cleaning table after meals.
g.. Helping with meal preparations (learning to measure, stir and use
small appliances).
h.. Spread butter on sandwiches.
i.. Prepare cold cereal.
j.. Help mother prepare plates of food for the family dinner.
k.. Make a simple dessert (add topping to cupcakes, pour the toppings on
ice cream).
l.. Hold the hand mixer to whip potatoes or mix up a cake.
m.. Setting the table.
n.. Taking out the trash.
o.. Helping make decisions about meal choices, outings, time with friends,
etc.
p.. Carrying groceries in from the car and putting them away.
q.. Help with grocery shopping and compiling a grocery list.
r.. Polish shoes and clean up afterwards.
s.. Follow a schedule for feeding pets.
t.. Help do the dishes or fill the dishwasher.
u.. Dust the furniture.
v.. Share toys with friends (practice courtesy).
w.. Tell parent his whereabouts before going out to play.
x.. Play without constant adult supervision and attention.
y.. Polish silver.
z.. Polish car.
aa.. Sharpen pencils.
5 - 6 years
a.. Unsupervised responsibilities (making bed, washing out trash cans,
etc.).
b.. More complicated meal preparations (making frozen juice, toast,
scrambling eggs, cutting with blunt knife, baking).
c.. Make own sandwich or simple breakfast, then clean up.
d.. Pour own drink.
e.. Prepare the dinner table.
f.. Tear up lettuce for the salad.
g.. Helping with younger siblings (changing diapers, helping with bath,
bottle feeding, entertaining while mom is out of the room, feeding/dressing
toddler siblings).
h.. Laundry (sorting, learning to use the washer/dryer, measuring
detergent,fold clean clothes and put them away.) .
i.. Cleaning (using cleaning supplies properly, cleaning unsupervised
areas like bathtub or polishing furniture, clean mirrors and windows).
j.. Sons -- carrying "heavy" things for mom and helping with yardwork.
k.. By this time child will begin to carry out responsibilities unasked
and begin to offer help in areas parents don't require help in.
l.. Make bed and clean room.
m.. Dress on own and choose outfit for the day.
n.. Learn to tie shoes.
o.. Answer the telephone and begin to dial the phone.
p.. Yardwork.
q.. Pay for small purchases.
r.. Help clean out the car.
s.. Take out the garbage.
t.. Decide how he wants to spend his share of the family entertainment
fund.
u.. Feed his pets and clean the living area.
6 - 7 years
a.. Simple meals prepared (making sandwiches for lunch, preparing drinks,
fixing breakfast for mom and dad, preparing salad for dinner, peel
vegetables).
b.. Regular quiet time becoming a part of daily routine.
c.. Totally unsupervised laundry responsibilities when needed.
d.. Increased responsibilities for younger siblings (dressing
infants/toddlers, entertaining them for longer periods by reading to
them/playing records, etc., helping school them).
e.. Learning the purpose and beginning usage of tools (lawn mower, hand
tools, etc.) and helping with home maintenance.
f.. Shake rugs.
g.. Water plants and flowers.
h.. Prepare own school lunch.
i.. Help hang clothes on the clothesline.
j.. Hang up own clothes in the closet.
k.. Gather wood for the fireplace.
l.. Rake leaves and weed.
m.. Tie own shoes.
n.. Care for his own minor injuries.
o.. Keep the garbage container clean.
p.. Clean out inside of car.
q.. Straighten or clean out silverware drawer.
r.. Oil and care for bike.
s.. Take phone messages.
t.. Run errands for parents.
u.. Sweep and wash patio area.
v.. Water the lawn.
w.. Wash dog or cat.
x.. Train pets.
y.. Take pet for walk.
z.. Carry in the grocery sacks.
aa.. Get self up in the morning and go to bed at night on own.
ab.. Learn to be polite, courteous, and to share; respect others.
ac.. Carry own lunch money and notes back to school.
ad.. Leave the bathroom in order.
ae.. Do simple ironing.
8 - 10 years
a.. Complete responsibility for their rooms on a daily basis (bed making,
dresser drawers, closet, vacuuming, etc.).
b.. Unsupervised yard work (i.e., lawn mowing, edging, clean-up,
gardening).
c.. More complex meal preparations (pour and make tea, coffee, and instant
drinks, using sharp instruments, baking, using appliances, beginning meal
planning).
d.. More difficult cleaning projects (scrubbing kitchen floor, windows,
cleaning appliances).
e.. Summer jobs (lawn mowing, dog sitting, babysitting, odd jobs for
vacationers).
f.. Financial planning (computing percentages for saving, tithing,
offerings, gift-giving and assuming responsibility with parental oversight).
g.. Beginning car maintenance (helping dad with minor repairs, learning
tool usage, washing/waxing).
h.. Help rearrange furniture. Help plan the layout.
i.. Run own bathwater.
j.. Help others with their work when asked.
k.. Shop for and select own clothing and shoes with parent.
l.. Change school clothes without being told.
m.. Fold blankets.
n.. Sew buttons and sew rips in seams.
o.. Clean storage room.
p.. Clean up animal "messes" in the yard and house.
q.. Cut flowers and make a centerpiece.
r.. Pick fruit off trees.
s.. Build a campfire, get items ready to cook out (charcoal, hamburgers).
t.. Paint fence or shelves.
u.. Help write simple letters.
v.. Write thank-you notes.
w.. Help with defrosting and cleaning the refrigerator.
x.. Feed the baby.
y.. Polish silverware, copper, or brass items.
z.. Clean patio furniture.
aa.. Wax living room furniture.
ab.. Change sheets and put dirty sheets in hamper.
ac.. Buy groceries using a list and comparative shopping.
ad.. Cross streets unassisted.
ae.. Keep own appointments.
af.. Receive and answer own mail.
ag.. Wait on guests.
ah.. Plan own birthday.
ai.. Simple first aid.
aj.. Do neighborhood chores.
ak.. Sew, knit, or weave (even using a sewing machine).
al.. Do chores without a reminder.
am.. Learn banking and to be thrifty and trustworthy.
an.. Handle sums of money up to $5.00.
ao.. Be alone at home for short periods.
ap.. Take the city bus to selected destinations.
aq.. Proper conduct when staying overnight with a friend. Pack own
suitcase.
ar.. Responsible for personal hobby.
as.. Handle self properly when in public places alone or with peers.
11 - 12 years
a.. Join outside organizations, do assignments, and attend. Able to take
responsibility as a leader.
b.. Put siblings to bed and dress them.
c.. Clean pool and pool area.
d.. Respect others' property.
e.. Run own errands.
f.. Mow lawn with supervision.
g.. Help Father build things and do family errands.
h.. Schedule himself time for studies.
i.. Buy own sweets or treats.
j.. Responsible for a paper route.
k.. Check and add oil to car under supervision.
13 - 15 years
a.. Determine how late he should stay up during the week. Also determine
how late he should be out for evening gatherings (through mutual
parent-child discussion and agreement).
b.. Responsibility for preparing family meals.
c.. Social awareness: good health, exercise, necessary rest, correct
weight, nutritious food, physical examinations.
d.. Anticipate the needs of others and initiate the appropriate action.
e.. Acceptance of capabilities and limitations.
f.. Self-respect or individual worth.
g.. Responsibility for one's decision.
h.. Mutual respect, loyalty, and honesty in the family.
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