This is from: Pearables.com

We recently received a letter asking this very question. Are there parents who believe in isolating their children? Yes. Are there parents who believe in sheltering their children? Yes. What is the difference between “isolating” and “sheltering”?

“Isolationists”

In some families around the country, parents are raising their children under the belief that the very best thing for them is to “isolate” them from the world. What does this actually mean? Well, to “isolate” means: 1. An aisle or and island. 2. To place in a detached situation. 3. To place by itself. 4. To insulate.

Many isolationists truly believe that they are following the Lord. We have read many letters from people who have raised their children with the idea that any type of outside influence, besides that of the parent, should be avoided at all costs. They believed that children were not able to handle the dangers that surround them in this world and so they pulled them from the world and kept them separate from it. They used the Scriptures which say to “come out and be separate”.

An isolationist’s children are kept from the company of other children, unless the parent is there at all times interacting, also, and keeping an eye on the children. The family usually stays together at all times and only interacts with one another or other families who believe exactly the same way. The reason they do this is  because they believe there is so much sin in people and in the world around them, that they must keep their children away from it, lest they learn it from others. A bit like a virus that you can catch.

We have three families who wrote us requesting our thoughts on the subject. All said approximately the same thing, that they isolated their children as they were growing up but when their older children reached a certain age, they left their homes in rebellion. Each young adult couldn’t get away from their parents quick enough and soon after they left either started picking up bad habits of smoking and drinking, or worse, became involved with drugs.

They now question whether “isolating” their children was a Biblical solution to child training as the end result did not build a Godly character.

“Sheltering”

The next form of child training is where the parents have an attitude of “sheltering” their children.

Let’s look up what SHELTERING means:

1. To cover from violence, injury, annoyance or attack. 2. To defend; to protect from danger; to secure or render safe; to harbor. 3. To take to cover or a safe place.

If you are any type of a God-fearing parent at all, you are going to want to shelter your children from harm. Whether that harm comes in the form of physical, mental or spiritual, you will want to protect them! This is from God. God has given our small children into our keeping to care for them and to train them in His ways so they will be able to serve Him when they grow up.

First, God shelters us! It is in His very being to protect us from danger. This is the reason why He gave us the commandments to obey. Through our obedience we would be safe from harm. He also shelters us when we seek Him in prayer.

Psalms 61 “Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy. I will abide in thy tabernacle forever; I will trust in the covert of thy wings. Selah. (Vs. 1-4)

What is the difference between isolating and sheltering? There are many differences.
While isolating a child keeps him from others, a parent who shelters will give opportunity for their children to learn and grow from others. They will place them in an environment where other people will come into their lives and they will be exposed to different attitudes, actions, and beliefs. When they are exposed to something that the parent sees is against their Biblical standards, they train and teach their children what is wrong versus what God would have them do or think. This is to prepare them for later on in life when mother and father will no longer be around to shelter them from danger. They will have to be aware and awake without the help of their parents to keep an eye out for what is “dangerous”.

Herein is a huge difference, the sheltering mentality teaches children what “dangers” in life to look for. The isolationists keeps their child insolated so they never see danger and will never know what to look for when they are released into the real world of adulthood. In a way they are thought to be kept in a clean, virus-free, sin-free, bubble at home, never to be tainted by sin carried in by others.

One very big problem with the isolationist’s theory… sin isn’t something you catch. Sin is inborn in each of us and only the blood of Jesus Christ can cleanse us from this disease of death.

So what should we do as parents who want our children to make right choices as they live in this world?

“Inoculation”

Christian parents are to shelter and protect their children from harm and at the same time train them to be “inoculated” against the world.

This inoculation takes place as we daily point out to them what the world is saying is true and then showing them what God’s Word says. It is a constant time of teaching them and training them in Biblical values vs. secular humanism that bombards them from every media surrounding them.

It is imperative that parents teach their children the “dangers” that they will face. Just as God has placed in animals in the jungle the instinct to sniff and smell out danger, so has God placed parents to train their children to watch out for “sin” dangers. We cannot place our heads in the sands like ostriches and walk in fear of the world. We are only to fear God, not man.

One of the main goals for our children to strive for, is to be a person that can be in the world and see the hurt and the pain and suffering of the lost, and to be able to lead them to Christ, without any spiritual harm coming to them. This is possible by being inoculated through the blood of Jesus Christ living in them. They must have a saving knowledge ALL THEIR OWN, not just their parent’s, of Jesus Christ, our Savior.

Christ, through the guidance and teaching of the Holy Spirit, will then lead these children through the hidden minefields of life. He alone will be the one to keep them safe when they leave the safety of the home. It is our job, while we have them, to shelter them, yes, but to also prepare them to leave in the arms and safety of the Lord, the moment they are born. They are not ours. They are God’s. It is our duty to not have their world only be their parents. This is total selfishness on the parent’s part. We are to get them ready to help souls that are lost and who are to find their way to Christ. This is why our children are alive. Not to serve us as parents, but to serve our Heavenly Father.

Here is what Jesus calls us to train our children to do:

31When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory:
32And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats:
33And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.
34Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
35For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
36Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
37Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
38When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
39Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
40And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
41Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:
42For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink:
43I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.
44Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?
45Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.
46And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.

If we are afraid of the world, how can we do what He has called us to do? We CAN do it because of HIS blood. His blood causes that death virus of sin to die and then we can live in Him! We can then do His will, not our own! This is what our children are to be taught so that they can go into all the world and preach the gospel…. And maybe sometimes even speak.

God’s blessings,

A. B. Leaver

www.pearables.com/shelter_isolate_inoculate.htm

HOME Where They Belong

Do you “shelter” your children?
That’s a bad word in some circles, we’re finding. Something is creeping into the church (and even the homeschooling community) and it isn’t biblical. It is an “anti-sheltering campaign” of sorts, and it’s full of holes. Think about it. What does it mean to shelter? Protect. Defend. Guard. Preserve. Watch over. Shield. Safeguard. Hmmmm, so far so good, right? Sure, until "pop psychology" comes in and tells us that we should allow our children to taste a little of the world in order to understand it or pray for it. That we should not “over-shelter” them. Nonsense.

What’s the opposite of shelter? Expose. Endanger. We parents are called to be like our Father in Heaven. He is the greatest “Shelterer” there ever was, and it is us He shelters – or watches over; protecting us, preserving us, shielding us. Praise Him for this! Glory to God who knows how to parent (shelter) us perfectly. May we as parents follow this model – His model. Let’s continue to shelter (love) our children as He loves us. Dismiss the garbage that crawls in; don’t buy it. We’re promised there will be false teachers, liars in the church. I want to keep my eyes focused on Christ, come what may.

Parents: Keep sheltering them. You are bringing them up in the love and admonition of the Lord, not in the latest speaker/teacher. May you be blessed as you continue to walk in obedience! Lord, thank you for sheltering me. Please never stop. “Over-shelter” if You will (if there is such a thing). Fine with me! Over-protect, Over-defend, Over-guard me; please do! I’ll take it all, Lord. Keep me tight to Your side. I’m safe there. There, I can breathe. It’s where I live.

For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy.
-Psalms 61:3

- gena

Amen and Amen! I have been saying this forever! Excellently put!

~Lisa Metzger

By Chris Klicka, Senior Counsel for the
Home School Legal Defense Association

Academically homeschoolers have generally excelled, but some critics have continued to challenge them on an apparent "lack of socialization" or "isolation from the world." Often there is a charge that homeschoolers are not learning how to live in the "real world." However, a closer look at public school training shows that it is actually public school children who are not living in the real world.

For instance, public school children are confined to a classroom for at least 180 days each year with little opportunity to be exposed to the workplace or to go on field trips. The children are trapped with a group of children their own age with little chance to relate to children of other ages or adults. They learn in a vacuum where there are no absolute standards. They are given little to no responsibility, and everything is provided for them. The opportunity to pursue their interests and to apply their unique talents is stifled. Actions by public students rarely have consequences, as discipline is lax and passing from grade to grade is automatic. The students are not really prepared to operate in the home (family) or the workplace, which comprise a major part of the "real world" after graduation.

Homeschoolers, on the other hand, do not have the above problems. They are completely prepared for the "real world" of the workplace and the home. They relate regularly with adults and follow their examples rather than the examples of foolish peers. They learn based on "hands on" experiences and early apprenticeship training. In fact, the only "socialization" or aspect of the "real world" which they miss out on by not attending the public school is unhealthy peer pressure, crime, and immorality. Of course, the average homeschooler wisely learns about these things from afar instead of being personally involved in crime or immorality or perhaps from being a victim.

Practically, homeschoolers generally overcome the potential for "isolation" through heavy involvement in church youth groups, 4H clubs, music and art lessons, Little League sports participation, YMCA, Scouts, singing groups, activities with neighborhood children, academic contests (spelling bees, orations, creative and research papers), and regular involvement in field trips. In fact, one researcher stated, "The investigator was not prepared for the level of commitment exhibited by the parents in getting the child to various activities…It appeared that these students are involved in more social activities, whether by design or being with the parent in various situations, than the average middle school-aged child."¹

In nearly every community throughout the country, local homeschool support groups have formed in addition to the state-wide homeschool associations. In many areas these local support groups sponsor weekly and monthly activities for the homeschool students, including physical education classes, special speakers, sports, camping, trips to museums, industries, farms, parks, historic sites, and hundreds of other activities. Regular contests are also held including spelling bees, science fairs, wood working contests, and geography contests. Homeschoolers in many localities have formed homeschool choirs, bands, sports teams, bowling leagues, educational and activity clubs of every kind, and many types of resource libraries. The state homeschool associations generally sponsor a major conference where homeschool children can attend and the older children perform plays, assemble yearbooks, and participate in graduation ceremonies for eighth and twelfth grades. A review of the state homeschool association and local support group newsletters testify of the great many social activities available. Homeschool families, as a whole, do not raise their children in social isolation.²

In addition, several studies have been done to measure homeschoolers' "self-concept," which is the key objective indicator for establishing a child's self-esteem. A child's degree of self-esteem is one of the best measurements of his ability to successfully interact on a social level. One such study was conducted by John Wesley Taylor, using the Piers-Harris Children's Self-Concept Scale to evaluate 224 home-schooled children. They study found that 50 percent of the children scored above the 90th percentile, and only 10.3 percent scored below the national average.³

Another researcher compared private school nine-year-olds with homeschool nine-year-olds and found no significant differences in the groups in virtually all psycho-social areas. However, in the area of social adjustment, a significant difference was discovered: "private-school subjects appeared to be more concerned with peers than the home-educated group."⁴ This is certainly an advantage for home-schooled children who can avoid negative peer influence.

Dr. Linda Montgomery studied homeschool students between the ages of ten and twenty-one and concluded that home-schooled children are not isolated from social activities with other youth. She also concluded that homeschooling may nurture leadership at least as well as the conventional schools do.⁵

Thomas Smedley prepared a master's thesis for Radford University of Virginia on "The Socialization of Homeschool Children." Smedley used the Vineland Adaptive Behavior Scales to evaluate the social maturity of twenty home-schooled children and thirteen demographically matched public school children. The communication skills, socialization, and daily living skills were evaluated. These scores were combined into the "Adoptive Behavior Composite" which reflects the general maturity of each subject.

Smedley had this information processed using the statistical program for the social sciences and the results demonstrated that the home-schooled children were better socialized and more mature than the children in the public school. The home-schooled children scored in the 84th percentile while the matched sample of public school children only scored in the 27th percentile.

Smedley further found that:

In the public school system, children are socialized horizontally, and temporarily, into conformity with their immediate peers. Home educators seek to socialize their children vertically, toward responsibility, service, and adulthood, with an eye on eternity.⁶

In another 1992 study, Dr. Larry Shyers compared behaviors and social development test scores of two groups of seventy children ages eight to ten. One group was being educated at home while the other group attended public and private schools. He found that the home-schooled children did not lag behind children attending public or private schools in social development.

Dr. Shyers further discovered that the home-schooled children had consistently fewer behavioral problems. The study indicated that home-schooled children behave better because they tend to imitate their parents while conventionally-schooled children model themselves after their peers. Shyers states, "The results seem to show that a child's social development depends more on adult contact and less on contact with other children as previously thought."⁷

Dr. Brian Ray reviewed the results of four other studies on the socialization of homeschoolers and found:

Rakestraw, Reynolds, Schemmer, and Wartes have each studied aspects of the social activities and emotional characteristics of home-schooled children. They found that these children are actively involved in many activities outside the home with peers, different-aged children, and adults. The data from their research suggests that homeschoolers are not being socially isolated, nor are they emotionally maladjusted.⁸

J. Gary Knowles, University of Michigan Assistant Professor of Education, released a study done at the University of Michigan which found that teaching children at home will not make them social misfits. Knowles surveyed 53 adults who were taught at home because of ideology or geographical isolation. He found that two thirds were married, which is the norm for adults their age. None were unemployed or on welfare. He found more than three fourths felt that being taught at home had helped them to interact with people from different levels of society. He found more than 40% attended college and 15% of those had completed a graduate degree. Nearly two thirds were self-employed. He stated, "That so many of those surveyed were self-employed supports the contention that homeschooling tends to enhance a person's self-reliance and independence." Ninety-six percent of them said that they would want to be taught at home again. He stated, "Many mentioned a strong relationship engendered with their parents while others talked about self-directed curriculum and individualized pace that a flexible program of homeschooling permitted."⁹

As mentioned earlier, the greatest benefit from homeschool socialization is that the child can be protected from the negative socialization of the public schools associated with peer pressure, such as rebellious attitudes, immaturity, immorality, drugs, and violent behavior.

Adapted from The Right Choice: Home Schooling by Christopher J. Klicka.

Footnotes

1. "Socialization Practices of Christian Home School Educators in the State of Virginia," a study of ten Virginia home school families, performed by Dr. Kathie Carwile, appeared in the Home School Researcher, Vol. 7, No. 1, December 1991.

2. R. Meighan, "Political Consciousness and Home-Based Education, Educational Review 36 (1984):165-73.

3. Dr. John Wesley Taylor, Self-Concept in Home Schooling Children (Ann Arbor, Mich.: University Microfilms International), Order No. DA8624219. This study was done as part of a dissertation at Andrews University. The results of the testing of the 224 home-schooled students was compared to the testing results of 1,183 conventionally schooled children.

4. Dr. Mona Delahooke, "Home Educated Children's Social/Emotional Adjustment and Academic Achievements: A Comprehensive Study," unpublished doctoral dissertation, California School of Professional Psychology, Los Angeles, 1986, 85.

5. Dr. Linda Montgomery, "The Effect of Home Schooling on Leadership Skills of Home Schooled Students," Home School Researcher (5) 1, 1989.

6. Thomas C. Smedley, M.S., "Socialization of Home Schooled Children: A Communication Approach," thesis submitted and approved for Master of Science in Corporate and Professional Communication, Radford University, Radford, Virginia, May 1992. (Unpublished.)

7. Dr. Larry Shyers, "Comparison of Social Adjustment Between Home and Traditionally Schooled Students," unpublished doctoral dissertation at University of Florida's College of Education, 1992. Dr. Shyers is a psychotherapist who is the Chairman of the Florida Board of Clinical Social Work, Marriage and Family Therapy, and Mental Health Counseling.

8. Dr. Brian Ray, "Review of Home Education Research," The Teaching Home, August/September 1989, 49. See Rakestraw, "An Analysis of Home Schooling for Elementary School-Age Children in Alabama," doctoral dissertation, University of Alabama, Tuscaloosa, AL, 1987; Reynolds, "How Home School Families Operate on a Day-to-Day Basis: Three Case Studies," unpublished doctoral dissertation, Brigham Young University, Provo, UT, 1985; and Schemmer, "Case Studies of Four Families Engaged in Home Education,"?unpublished doctoral dissertation, Ball State University, Muncie, IN, 1985.

9. University of Michigan-Ann Arbor, study of home school adults by Assistant Professor of Education, J.Gary Knowles, Associated Press article entitled, "University Study Says Home-Taught Children Won't Become Social Misfits," appearing in the "Grand Haven Tribune" 9 March 1993.

Since I was raised in a "pioneer homeschooling" family, it has given me so many opportunities to observe, experience and debate the homeschooling vs. socialization issue. By far, it is the most criticized and worried about subject pertaining to homeschooling.

I have many, many articles on socialization with homeschoolers and the studies done by non-homeschoolers that prove that the outright majority of homeschoolers are getting more real-life socialization than their public school counterparts. For instance, homeschoolers are socialized VERTICALLY, rather than HORIZONTALLY. They socialize with their peers, as well as their 4 year old sibling and the 16 year old neighbor down the street. They can even successfully carry on a conversation (yes, an actual conversation) with an adult. Now, when any child reaches adult hood, will he be then socializing horizontally or vertically? Which is more practical for "real life?" After all, isn't "real life" what we're preparing our children for entering, whether homeschooled or otherwise? If so, homeschoolers are right on track! The horizontal socialization vs. vertical socialization is my favorite defense for homeschooling! I always have that one tucked away for my defense of my choice of education.

Some other good socialization points are as follows:

Research conducted by Michael Brady entitled Social Development in Traditionally Schooled and Homeschooled Children, a Case for Increased Parental Monitoring and Decreased Peer Interaction endorses this idea. Brady states, "There seems to be an overwhelming amount of evidence that children socialized in a peer-dominant environment are at higher risk for developing social maladjustment issues than those that are socialized in a parent monitored environment."

Research supports this.  According to Home Schooling and the Question of Socialization by Richard G. Medlin, "Home-schooled children are taking part in the daily routines of their communities. They are certainly not isolated; in fact, they associate with--and feel close to--all sorts of people."

Hope that helps someone with this issue!

Lisa Metzger, wife to Mark (a financial advisor)

2nd Generation Homeschool Mom to:

Annalise (14 - adopted from Kazakhstan at 10), Kaitlyn (6 1/2), Ethan (5 1/2) and Julia Claire (9 months) &

MORE TO COME (God-Willing)!

	I’m sure that all of us, as believing "home training" families, have all been asked the question many times, "What about socialization???" Many of our well meaning relations have brought up this subject numerous times and have needed to be reassured with a satisfactory answer for the sake of our beloved children. We have come to the conclusion that the only answer you can give to this question is that socialization is not a term that Christians should even consider or worry about!!!
FIRST, WHAT EXACTLY IS SOCIALIZATION?
	The dictionary definition of SOCIALIZE is this: 1. To place under government or group ownership or control. 2. To fit with others; make sociable in attitude or manners. 3. To convert or adapt to the needs of society.   Davis Dictionary of the Bible states that "the word WORLD is frequently used for the inhabitants of the world." In other words, "world", as used in the Bible, is in regards to SOCIETY. Socialization is simply learning to conform with today’s society or world!   Each of us that were trained by the public education system of our time grew up with the idea that, after a long day of being in school, we could go and play with the neighborhood children or friends we made from school. There was never any question as to the desirability of our companions as we had to all get along in our neighborhood!   Much of our upbringing has overflowed into our home training lifestyle and we need to reexamine what is "normal" to us... and if it is scriptural.   WHAT DOES THE BIBLE HAVE TO SAY ABOUT CONFORMING TO SOCIETY?   John 15:18-19 says, "If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own; but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, (or paraphrased - you are not to be socialized!) therefore the world hateth you!" Romans 12:2 states, "And be not conformed to this world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."   Would it be fair to say that if we ARE conformed to this world, and are NOT transformed by the renewing of our mind, that we will NOT KNOW what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God? Heaven forbid if we allow our children to be conformed or socialized to the world and its ways!   WE MUST BE CAUTIOUS THAT WE DO NOT GET CARRIED ALONG WITH THE HOMESCHOOLING MOVEMENT AS IT HAS BECOME NO LONGER JUST A CHRISTIAN ISSUE!   As believers, we should NOT want our children to be socialized as the world sees it. We need to be very careful of whom our children see and are around.   In the homeschooling movement are a growing number of people who are not teaching their children because of Biblical convictions but are doing it for educational purposes. We constantly hear from people who are dismayed with support groups whose "center" is not Christ at all, but education and socialization. Many of these homeschoolers do not profess Christianity but are following the New Age and humanistic philosophies.   One of their main objectives is that they believe they can turn their children into even BETTER citizens (or socialized individuals) than what the public education system is doing. But WHY are we training our children? The reason Christians are undertaking this is because of the Word of God! The scriptures clearly tell us it is the responsibility of the parent to train their OWN children up in the admonition and love of the LORD. Now what fellowship, dear brother or sister, have we with that of the world? What could we possibly have in common with those who are NOT homeschooling for the same reason?   A FEAR TACTIC IS USED TO KEEP PEOPLE IN DECEPTION REGARDING SOCIALIZATION!   What starts to happen when people ask, "Aren’t you worried about socialization?" is that this very question plants a little seed in ones heart. It may sow a little seed of doubt that maybe our children won’t be brought up normal! Or another deceptive thought this humanism breeds is, "Don’t you know that your children aren’t going to know how to get along in this world?" ... "They aren’t going to know how to get along with people who are not like them!"   The list goes on and on. But if we are training our children up in the Word of God we KNOW our children are NOT going to be "normal" compared to the world’s or society’s standards! As believers, we should know that our children will be HAPPILY different than other children... Our children will be raised up with a love for God and a respect for God and His family of believers here on earth.   The fear that is instilled by people that don’t quite understand the Biblical teaching that we will NOT conform to this world or society, by saying that our children are going to be "different", can only affect us because of our OWN socialization! Are we afraid to stand for the Word of God? Are we so far damaged by the result of our own selves being socialized that we LISTEN to the whispers of humanism and accept these thoughts as TRUTH without ever searching in the Scriptures as what the Lord would say? It is our duty as children of God to find out what HE would say in response to socialization.   THE MISSIONARY CONCEPT REGARDING OUR CHILDREN HAS KEPT MANY CHILDREN FROM BEING TRAINED UP BY THEIR PARENTS AND ARE STILL IN PUBLIC SCHOOL TODAY AS A RESULT.   The MISSIONARY CONCEPT is the belief that we need to have our children out in the world witnessing and interacting with other children that are not believers. That it is their responsibility as young believers to be with and teach non-believers about the Lord and His Word. What happens with this philosophy is that the children are then allowed to mix with children that are not being trained up in God’s Holy Word with the thought that THEY will be a good and righteous influence upon those that are devoid of truth. Does this thought line up with God’s Word? The belief that children of good moral character befriending and training those that are of a bad character (or that character which is trained up in worldliness) is contrary to sound Biblical teaching:   1 Cor. 15:33. Be not deceived; evil communications corrupts good manners.   According to the Strong’s Concordance COMMUNICATIONS means companionship; association together; company! This scripture makes it very clear that evil company will only make the good corrupt! Not the other way around!!! If the scriptures say these things, are we willing to test them to see if they are TRUE? Are we willing to take this chance with the CHARACTER of our own precious children? Here are some more scriptures to ponder regarding this subject:   Prov. 9:6. Forsake the foolish and live. Prov. 13:20. He that walketh with wise men shall be wise but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.   Here is an allegory that one brother came up with. He worked at the Olympic Training Center and was talking about the way the athletes lived. They were put on very rigorous schedules and very disciplined diets, some for years and years, during the time that they were preparing for the Olympic tryouts. During this time, they were only allowed one goal in their minds, and that was to win the opportunity to compete in the Olympics! Nothing else was allowed to be focused upon in their lives.   Do you know what they call this period of time during an athlete’s life? TRAINING! They are in TRAINING! The dictionary definition of training is: 1. To coach in or accustom to some mode of behavior or performance. 2. To make proficient with specialized instruction and practice. 4. To cause to take a desired course or shape.   The Strong’s Concordance defi- nition of train in Prov. 22:6 (Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it...) is Hebrew #2596:   To NARROW. To initiate or discipline. Dedicate; Train up! The term "Narrow Minded" has usually been used in a derogatory manner towards people who have a narrow view or regard life through an unmovable philosophy or viewpoint. We should be very ENCOURAGED when we are viewed this way! Dear believers, if the world regards training so seriously today in an effort to win such a prize as an Olympic medal, why do we not regard as seriously our race that Paul preached about....   1 Corinthians 9:24-27: Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain. And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible. I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air; but I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection; lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.   Do these scriptures sound as if we are to be passive towards the goal of living a life unto Christ? How much more should we teach our children to be careful in the race towards Christ and to not be afraid to TRAIN them! Sheltering our children during this time of training is not bad!   THE MAJOR GOAL OF THE HUMANISTIC PHILOSOPHY OF SOCIALIZATION IS TO ENCOURAGE OUR CHILDREN TO QUESTION AND DOUBT TRADITION- AL BIBLICAL VALUES THROUGH PEER PRESSURE!   One of the goals of socialization is to BROADEN the minds of our children and not have them be "narrow-minded"! A very popular bumper sticker that is seen on the rear of many cars reads: "CELEBRATE DIVERSITY" ! It is a very sad thing to see many religious organizations accepting this same philosophy. We have accepted as "normal" perversity! Another bumper sticker recently read: "CELEBRATE PERVERSITY?" Socialization can be devastatingly dangerous to children that are not yet founded in the Word of God and are easily swayed by others.   Prayerfully, if we bring each of our children up to not regard the opinion of their peers higher than the opinion of their parents, and we insure that those who they do have minimal interaction with are being trained with the same goals, we then will have beaten this humanism! The outcome for our children will be that they will NEVER have been SOCIALIZED, or in other words, made worldly!!   SOCIALIZATION ALSO HAS BEEN CHRISTIANIZED SO THAT MANY HAVE BEEN DECEIVED INTO LETTING THEIR CHILDREN BEFRIEND THE WORLD...   The scriptures teach us to GO into all the world and preach the Gospel, but does this mean that we go and BEFRIEND the world? Did our examples, the apostles, befriend the world? What did they have to say about this?   James 4:4. Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.   SOCIALIZATION IS ALSO BASED ON THE BELIEF THAT IF OUR CHILDREN DO NOT PLAY WITH OTHER CHILDREN, THEY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO FUNCTION IN SOCIETY.   This belief has pressured many of us to allow our children to play and associate more often than what we should with others children. This is where we need to question this belief and line it up with the Word of God. First of all, what does the Bible have to say about children?   Prov. 22:15. Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.   Prov. 29:15. The rod and reproof give wisdom; but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.   How many times have we allowed our children to play with other children and then go off and let them tend to themselves? So many times we have let our little ones occupy themselves with playmates while we get things done that needed to be tended to, and have not supervised the situation. Many times, these situations have ended with children getting hurt or fights breaking out. Tears are shed and the parent never really knows exactly what happened or who really was at fault in these instances. If one is in the habit of doing this often, isn’t it doing what is spoken of in Prov. 29 of leaving our children to themselves? And not only that, we are allowing them to train each other! We are letting foolishness train up foolishness. There is nothing wrong with children playing together. But the philosophy that they MUST play together to grow up functional is never mentioned once in the Word of God. The Scriptures which talk about children are all based around the PARENTS having interaction... NOT peers.   THE FAMILY IS WHERE BIBLICAL SOCIALIZATION STARTS AND ENDS...   The following are scriptures that admonish us in who is necessary in the training of our children. Please note that there is not one scripture throughout the whole Bible that says peers are needed in this training. Read 1 Kings 12:1-16 that tells us what happened to King Rehoboam because of peer pressure and influence.   Deut. 6:6-7 & 11:19... And thou shalt teach them (God’s Statutes) diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. This scripture says to DILIGENTLY teach our children and then goes on to say that during each moment of our lives we are to teach them... not just speak them but also teach through our actions... CONSTANTLY. It doesn’t sound here as if the parents were allowed too much "time for themselves"!   Prov. 22:6. Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.   Prov. 29:17. Correct thy son and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.   Eph. 6:4. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. WHO is told to train up the children? The parent. Who is to chastise and correct? The parent. Who is to teach the children God’s ways? That’s right, THE PARENT!   Scripturally, the parent and the family is all that is necessary for a child to be trained up correctly, if that training is based on God’s Word. We no longer need to be afraid that if we are careful of our children’s associations we will cause irreversible psychological damage to them! It is actually quite the opposite. We could cause spiritual harm to our blessed offspring if we AREN’T careful of SOCIALIZATION.   SOCIALIZATION HAS HAD AN AFFECT UPON BELIEVERS THAT WERE BROUGHT UP IN THE PUBLIC SCHOOLS AND ARE NOW RAISING CHILDREN.   Public school has done a very good job in influencing most of the parents today. The aspect of socialization has caused many of us to be afraid to stand up and do things a little bit differently. But this is what SOCIALIZATION was meant to do! It is to ensure that people follow along with what society says is NORMAL! When people lift up their eyebrows when you say you "home teach" your children, their reaction is only because they were not trained this way and they wonder if another way could be successful.   The aspect of EXPERTISM comes in also... Pretty soon, we are wondering if we will need degrees to be mothers and fathers!   In order to do anything successfully, one must have a university and college degree... only then does a person know what they are doing!   Socialization is not just a simple thought that children must play with other children. It runs much deeper than that. When humanism declared that all children must interact it was part of their belief of reconstructing and reforming the mind set of America. It is a way to have the people in society keep an eye on the rest of society! It causes people to never step out and think for themselves and never weigh society’s teachings with what God’s Word is saying!   We do not know how much longer the Government will tolerate believers home training their children. We pray that God will soften the hearts of those in authority over us... We need to keep on the alert and watch! Socialization is not a Christian philosophy. Rather, it is totally contrary. Many people do not realize this and so are allowing their children to have influences in their lives that are harmful to their spiritual growth. Many of these influences come through the guise of homeschooling. Many through the influence of television.   My wife recently stated that many seemingly innocent cartoon characters were hurting believer’s children... She was questioning me, if Donald Duck came to play with our children, would we let him in? Now Donald Duck seems to be a relatively harmless fellow but if you take a closer look at his character, he is known for his selfishness, grumpiness and deviousness. If you happen to let your children befriend cartoon characters, take a closer look at their character and see what they reflect!   One family uses these questions as a checklist for their children’s associations:   1. Do they have a deep love and respect of the Lord and His Word? 2. Do they choose not to conform to this world as in Romans !2:2 & John 15:18-19. (This is a very sensitive subject as different families have different beliefs as to what conformity is. The head of each family should decide for his own offspring what their standard will be. Also, be charitable and remember that all of us are in different states of growing with the Lord and to look at the openness of people in their attitude to God’s Holy Word.) 3. Do they have attitudes of respect for one another and operate through a character of brotherly kindness and love? Beware, dear saint, that we do have an enemy, and this enemy definitely wants the hearts, minds and souls of our children. Do not underestimate him, but be watchful and alert! 1 Peter 5:8-9 "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour; whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.

The following is from "Homeschooling Soup." I thought this was VERY true! It's a good representation of vertical socialization vs. horizontal socialization!

Lisa

Home Schooling - Socialization This was our first year of homeschooling my son. He went to kindergarten and three weeks of first grade at our neighborhood school. I really worried about "socialization" as a beginning homeschool mom. I faithfully took him to play groups, field trips and group classes, still feeling as if he was "missing out " a little by not being with more kids.   Now, picture a beautiful summer's day at a small park. There are two groups of children there.  One group is all about the same age, while the other ranges from a wobbly toddler to teen-agers. All the girls in the first group go off together and sit on a play structure, staring off into the sky.  The boys from the first group sit on another structure, kicking at the dirt and laughing at one another. The boys and girls in the second group are all over the park.  They pick flowers, make sand castles, sell train tickets and take a journey, pretend to be pirates and Dr. Dolittle at the same time.  Even the little toddler gets included in all the fun.   Can you guess which group was the Parks and Recreation Department summer program and which was a group of children who are homeschooled? After seeing the two groups side by side, I don't feel that my son is "missing out"!   ~LRB~

Copyright © 1999 Karl M. Bunday, all rights reserved.

Many people who consider the issue of parents teaching their children at home ask, "But what about socialization?" I've observed hundreds of home-schooled children of various ages in various places in two countries, so I'm confident that home-schooling children doesn't harm them socially. But university researchers continue to explore the issue of homeschooling socialization, and here I'll report on a Ph.D. thesis devoted solely to that subject, and on some related research.

Larry Edward Shyers obtained a Ph.D. degree at the University of Florida in part by conducting research reported in his thesis, Comparison of Social Adjustment Between Home and Traditionally Schooled Students. The whole 299-page thesis is available from University Microfilms International. (The order number is DA9304052, from UMI, 1 (800) 521-3042.) An abstract of the thesis appears in Dissertation Abstracts International at page 4215A of volume 53, number 12 of the humanities/social sciences series.

Many newspaper readers may remember a 1992 Associated Press article about Dr. Shyer's research, widely reprinted in newspapers across the United States. Dr. Shyers measured the self-esteem of the homeschooled group of 70 children in his study and compared it with that of the traditionally schooled group, also 70 children between the ages of eight and ten. On the Piers-Harris Children's Self-Concept Scale, a widely used measure of self-esteem, no difference was found between the two groups. (That finding by the way, stands as a failure to replicate the earlier thesis research of John Wesley Taylor in 1986, in which a small sample of home-schooled children scored significantly higher than classroom-schooled children on the Piers-Harris scale. Taylor's thesis, Self-Concept in Home-Schooling Children, is also available from UMI, order number DA8624219.) Thus it goes beyond the available evidence to say that homeschooled children have higher self-esteem than other children. In fact, more studies (and especially more studies with large sample sizes, and more recent studies) have confirmed Shyers's result than have confirmed Taylor's. There appears to be no significant difference in self-esteem between the overall population of homeschooled children and the overall population of children attending classroom school. (My thanks to a reader of this page who suggested a more nuanced way to express this point than how I originally wrote it.)

Anyway, self-esteem is a concept that was born in the school system, and it is best for parents not to overemphasize the self-esteem of their children. Professor Martin E.P. Seligman, in his helpful book The Optimistic Child, discusses how self-esteem has been more and more emphasized in schools during precisely the same years that the youth suicide rate has increased in the United States. Seligman suggests "optimism," a concept he defines in The Optimistic Child, is a better thing for parents to develop than self-esteem. I have read, and am still trying to confirm in other sources, that Seligman is himself a homeschooling parent. Whether or not he is a homeschooler, I know that he is a highly respected psychologist, as I have read many books and articles that cite his research, and have confirmed that Professor Seligman was recently the president of the American Psychological Association. A different perspective on self-esteem is offered by Jay E. Adams, the author of many of my favorite books. Adams, in his refreshingly accurate review of Biblical concepts, The Biblical View of Self-Esteem, Self-Love, Self-Image, points out that persons who honestly follow Biblical teachings don't seek to build self-esteem, but to build love for others that denies self and loves God first.

And Shyers, from the secular perspective of his research, looked at how homeschooled children treat other children. Shyers found no significant difference between his two groups in scores on the Children's Assertive Behavior Scale. But direct observation by trained observers, using a "blind" procedure, found that home-schooled children had significantly fewer problem behaviors, as measured by the Child Observation Checklist's Direct Observation Form, than traditionally schooled children when playing in mixed groups of children from both kinds of schooling backgrounds. This observational study was reported in some detail in the 1992 Associated Press article. Shyers concluded that the hypothesis that contact with adults, rather than contact with other children, is most important in developing social skills in children is supported by these data.

The same year that Shyers completed his doctoral degree thesis research on homeschooling socialization, Thomas Smedley completed master's degree research at Radford University in Virginia, with a similar experimental design. Smedley compared twenty home-schooled children to thirteen public school children, matching the children as best he could by relevant demographic characteristics. His study used the Vineland Adaptive Behavior Scales, which evaluate communication skills, socialization, and daily living skills. Smedley found that the home-schooled children were more mature according to the scoring rubrics of the Vineland scales, scoring in the 84th percentile, while the public school children scored in the 27th percentile. Thus the Shyers finding supports a nearly simultaneous finding by a different researcher, who used a different social science evaluation procedure on a different sample population. Such a replicated finding is unusual in social science.

By the way, Shyers's thesis has a thorough bibliography and is a very good review of the prior literature. Readers interested in finding out more about homeschool socialization would do well to consult Shyers's sources.

Please let me know about other homeschooling research you are aware of. One Web site that has included handy summaries of major studies of homeschooling, with citations to the theses and articles in which the study results were published, is the Holt Associates Web site, which had a linked page about homeschooling research the last time I checked. (Please let me know if that has changed.) A Web site with ordering information for published summaries of many homeschooling research studies is that of the National Home Education Research Institute .