The Folded Note

By Carrie Eve Shirley Jespersen

Grade 4 writing sample

*Assignment was to take a cartoon and write it out as a story using dialogue.

The lowering afternoon sun projected rays of warm sunlight through the window onto Mr. Beary’s bald head. After scratching behind his left ear, he glanced at his coffee stained teacher’s guide and then focused on two students poking each other with just sharpened pencils. Ignoring them and in a monotone, Mr. Beary ordered, “Okay, class, open your math books to lesson 49.”  “Eeeeeeeee Cccccccccc” the chalk grated on the blackboard.

“Dee, quick, take this note,” Whispered Chick as his eyes flitted from Mr. Beary to Dee.  His left hand grabbed the seat of his desk to prevent him from falling and the other hand attempted to pass a note folded in half. 

Extending her tiny hand, Dee grunted, “You’re too far.  I can’t reach!” 

        “I’ll get that for you Shrimpy!”  Jack mocked grabbing the folded note and waving it up high in the air. 

        “Hey!  That’s mine!”  Chick whined, trying to retrieve the note while jumping up and down and panting desperately. 

Dee yelled, “Give it back!”  He remained sitting in his seat and pretended to divide the numbers on his piece of paper. 

Mr. Beary turned his him slowly; Chick and Jack immediately sat in there initial-covered desks. 

        Jack turned his head toward Chick.  He quietly stated, “We’ll give it back after we see what’s so important.  Ha ha!” 

Putting his hands on his hips Mr. Beary tapped his right foot on the wooden floor as his bald spot reddened.  “What’s going on over there?” he boomed.  “Jack and Fang, are you two boys passing notes in class?  Come up to the front and read that note out loud for the whole class to hear.” 

Shuffling slowly towards his teacher, Jack teased, “Sure!” 

Fang, following Jack, taunted while looking back at Chick and Dee with a smirk.  “We’d LOVE to!” 

There was an unpleasant odour hanging in the air.  It smelled like those un-tasty, hard meatballs that were forty days old with mold.  Chick hoped it was NOT coming from the cafeteria.  Simultaneously, Chick and Dee winked at each other and smiles stretched across their faces. 

With chest puffed outwards, Jack confidently unfolded the revealing piece of paper and using a strong voice read.  “Chick and Dee are the smartest students in Mr. Beary’s class.” 

Fang’s lower jaw dropped, his eyebrows lifted, and his body leaned forward.  In response, Jack lifted the note to cover his embarassed face.  Every student threw their heads back as their bellies jiggled.  Laughter resounded throughout the room. 

Mr. Beary exploded, “Get back to work… NOW!” as a spray of spit catapulted towards all the students.  Jack and Fang ran as fast as they could to their desks and sat down.

Mr. Beary whirled around like a satellite zoning in on its target and once again started writing on the blackboard.

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Posted by Granny

That's great writing Carrie. I can't believe you got all that from the cartoon alone. You must have had to use your imagination some too. (about the meatballs for instance...haha) Good work!

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Posted by mamazee

i love how you really set the scene so well in the first paragraph! Made me feel like i was back in school :) (passing notes and being bored!)

auntie S

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Posted by brittany11

Great story! ! I really enjoyed it.
Brittany

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