Posted in Me

Growing up in South Jersey, I didn't have much experience with hurricanes.  One year supposedly Hurricane Gloria was going to come up the coast and strike Philadelphia.  We actually had a day off from school, but nothing happened.  A local radio station started giving away T-shirts that read, "I survived Hurricane Gloria!"

In May 1990, my sister, Robert (then a six month old baby!), and I visited Charleston, SC.  As the plane was landing, from the window we could see masses of downed, flattened trees.  "What on earth happened here?" we wondered.  It wasn't until later that we remembered that Charleston had been struck by Hurricane Hugo the previous September.  Still, that seemed an awfully long time for cleanup.  Over the next week, we would look for a tourist attraction and arrive at the gates only to find it closed, with a sign about hurricane damage.  Thankfully, not everything was closed though!  Fabulous Drayton Hall was completely spared.

I've found now that my attitude then is similar to the attitude I have now, toward myself.  OK, you were struck by a hurricane, but honestly, shouldn't you have it together by now?  Because this is the best analogy that I can come up with for what it was like for us to have twins.  And it's not like we ONLY had twins - there have been other major things going on in our family as well.  And it's also not like having twins is a one-time event like a hurricane - despite what well-meaning people might tell you, it does not continually get easier.  Yes, the first six months were the toughest because of sheer sleep deprivation.  But things have been really hard since they stopped being containable.  And try having two very capable 3 1/2 year olds who can't really communicate. That's challenging!  It's a lot like trying to continue life as normal when the hurricane has taken your power out and contaminated the water supply so you can't even take a shower. Just not possible! Doing the necessary daily tasks takes all your time and attention, which pretty much sums up life right now.

So I have finally decided to cut myself some massive slack.  So what if I can't keep track of everything and keep everything going perfectly?  So I've had to pay some late fees and I now waste money on paper towels.  At the end of the day, no matter what I've gotten done, I am surrounded by a family who loves me.  I am so blessed!