Posted in Me

So, lately, I've been feeling a little surrounded and overwhelmed.  Okay, a lot.  I'm trying to give three children an education, keep up with the twin hurricanes, keep the household running, get all children to their various and sundry lessons, appointments, and therapies, and I'm doing all this while having my life revolve around what a thirteen-month-old decides I can do.  And he's getting pretty good, with the twins as role models, at being a destructive force himself.  It's like he's thinking, "I don't need a twin; I can do it all by myself!"

I really have needed some time alone.  Over the last few days I actually got a little bit.  Tonight I went out for myself for the first time since I went to the Mojo Mom author signing back in April.  Amy Tiemann, the author of Mojo Mom, was speaking to my Mothers of Multiples group, and since we just changed the hours of my daughter's tutoring, thus freeing up Monday nights, I decided to go.

I'm glad I did.  I wanted to go to hear how other moms of twins talked about the idea of mojo and the other themes of the book.  Despite being 25 minutes late because I transposed two numbers in the address of the meeting place, I found it interesting.  As I listened to the other moms talk about struggles with their children, I realized that I had a child of each of the ages they were mentioning, plus others.

And that made me realize - it's okay to be overwhelmed!  It really is!  I think I have been feeling guilty about feeling overwhelmed.

I keep trying to remind myself that, while it is my job to see that the children's needs are met, my needs also have to be met, and they come before the children's wants.  Everybody's needs should be met before anybody's wants. The situation, though, is that meeting the needs of the six children still at home is taking up a whole lot of my morning, afternoon, evening, and night.  I have been fighting the guilty feeling of not being able to fulfill some of my children's wants.  But my husband and I spend so much time just meeting the basics!  For example, if our lawn is mowed, we're happy.  We're not out there improving the landscape.  I am working on getting the house decluttered and organized, but at this point, that is a need and not a want.  Some of the areas in our house were not even functional from having been ignored so long.

I can feel myself getting burned out, so I know that I have to make a few changes.  I'm going to start taking mini-breaks during the day and just go in my room, lock the door, and be alone for a few minutes.  I'm going to have the girls watch the baby in the evening so I can have uninterrupted prayer time that isn't at 1 AM.  I'm going to try to get enough sleep.  Through my cleaning and organizing, I finally found my 10 minute workout DVD, and I'm doing that in the mornings when I first get up.  Even though I am woefully out of shape, I am enjoying it.

So that's my plan - that, and realizing that it really is okay to be overwhelmed.