I thought I would share my story with you all since you all have been sharing yours. It’s been somewhat of a relief to hear that I’m not the only one struggling. I say somewhat because at the same time, I hate to see anyone dealing with these struggles. 

I am homeschooling my 12 year old son and 9 year old daughter.  I’ll ‘try’ not to make this too long.  My son (12) started public school when he was 6, as we didn’t feel he was ready when he was 5.  He did okay in Kindergarten. It took him a little longer that most of the kids to learn all of his letters, and he was having some trouble blending 3 letter cvc words, but his teacher didn’t think it was that serious of a problem, and just suggested we keep working with him at home too. 

On to 1^st grade…..after the first 4 weeks, we received his progress report which stated that he was not reading on grade level and his teacher was requesting a conference. It was then that I met with his teacher and an IEP was written up.  The IEP stated that he would attend after school tutoring 2 days a week and that we should continue to work with him at home.  It was during this time that he received a speech evaluation as he was having some articulation problems.  After the evaluation, I met with the speech therapist who said he did not qualify for speech services as she felt his problems were developmental and he’d outgrow them. 

The rest of 1^st grade continued to be a struggle for him.  His teacher and I met many times in person and on the phone. Towards the end of the year, he did testing to check for disabilities. (I didn’t get these results until the next fall) In order to pass the 1^st grade, he needed to get to at least a level 16 in his reading, but preferably a level 18.  It breaks my heart to think back how much stress my poor little boy at only 7/8 years old went through that year.  He was reminded day in and day out at school that he was not up to the level as his peers were.  Then at home, I was constantly working with him and ‘pushing’ him, to try to get him to that passing level.  By the end of the school year he was about 1-2 levels short…his report card said “Retention” on it..he would need to repeat 1^st grade.  Now, in a normal situation, we would have been fine with this.  Our concern was that he started school a year late, so he was already a year older than his peers and if he stayed back he’d be TWO years older.  It was a very hard call to make.  The school gave us the option of us working with him over the summer, and he could take a test at the end of the summer and if we had gotten him up to that level 16, they would pass him to 2^nd grade. So, all summer I worked with him on reading and he went back a few days before school was to start and was retested and they said he just made it and could move forward!!! 

2^nd grade starts.  Within the first couple of weeks, I received a note from his teacher that we needed to have a conference.  We met and she told me he is BEHIND!  We discussed all that went on while he was in 1^st grade and an IEP was written up. However this IEP was basically a joke. The school now had nothing to offer him.  I was told they didn’t have the funds for afterschool tutoring, so basically the IEP only stated what was to be done on our part….working with him at home, etc.  After the first month of 2^nd grade, I was finally contacted to meet with someone to go over the testing he had done at the end of 1^st grade.  Long story short, I was basically told that at that time he did not qualify for any special services but that his IQ was on the low side and therefore, I need to expect that he will just always struggle with school and with learning new things, and basically that I just needed to accept that. He was never going to be a good student, academically speaking. L 

2^nd grade went on and my son continued to fall further behind, not only in his reading but now he was starting to fall behind in math as well.  It wasn’t surprising that he hated school and often complained about having headaches while there.   He felt so much pressure to keep up but he just couldn’t. I helped in his classroom at least once a week, sometimes 2x a week.  I would observe him.  He was so lost.  The teacher would be up front addressing the class, and you could just see that he wasn’t getting it. How could he be getting?  He was way behind but the class kept moving forward, and he was expected to try to keep up. 

Before my son even started K, God has spoke to my heart to homeschool. I did attempt to do that when he was 5, the year we kept him home, but at the time I didn’t know one person who homeschooled and I was lost.  I felt completely and totally overwhelmed and that is why we did end up putting him in K when he was 6.  Well during K, 1^st, and into 2^nd, God continued to place it on my heart….I ignored it, but as more time went on and the more struggling my son went through, the tugging on my heart to do this got stronger and stronger.   One weekend in January, during my son’s 2^nd grade year, the calling to homeschool became sooooo strong and I just knew I could not ignore it….this was best for my son and for our family.  I talked with my husband and he agreed. J  That Monday morning I did not take my kids to school (my daughter was now in K so she was there too)…I called the school and told them I would be withdrawing my children and that they would be homeschooled from this point on.  Wow, what a burden was lifted off my chest.   I was so excited and I felt such hope for my son! I was sure that given one on one time with me, being away from the pressures of having to ‘keep up’ with everyone else, that he was going to flourish! Well, I’m sure you have figured out that since I’m on this email list and writing this email that that didn’t happen! L  He continued to struggled once we started homeschooling. We have tried sooooo many different curriculums and different homeschooling styles.  I went through the period of just ‘waiting’….assuming it was just because he was a boy and he just wasn’t ready and it would happen when he was ready and I backed off of him a lot, and allowed him to just focus on the things that interest him and the things he WANTED to learn about.  I even swung the complete opposite from time to time, almost trying to replicate ‘public school’.  Nothing I tried worked. Some things would start to produce some results and I would get all excited, but after a short time whatever we were doing would stop working.  He literally got to a place in his learning and then hit a ‘brick wall’ and has not been able to move past that.   In the 3 ½ years that we have been homeschooling he honestly has not made a whole lot of progress, academically.  Socially he’s wonderful. 

Last December we took him to an educational psychologist for testing. I NEEDED answers.  I NEEDED to know HOW I could help him.  After MANY hours of testing the day finally came to sit down and go over the results.  Once again, we were told that his IQ is low. L  She also said he has a “Specific Learning Disability” (SLD)

Our nation's special education law, the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, defines a specific learning disability as . . .

". . . a disorder in one or more of the basic psychological processes involved in understanding or in using language, spoken or written, that may manifest itself in an imperfect ability to listen, think, speak, read, write, spell, or do mathematical calculations, including conditions such as perceptual disabilities, brain injury, minimal brain dysfunction, dyslexia, and developmental aphasia."  

We also learned that he definitely is ADD.  He was given an ADHD diagnosis when he was 4, so this was just confirmation.  He really only struggles with the attention/concentration issues and not the hyperactivity, although he can be impulsive at times.  The psychologist STRONGLY recommended ADD medication for him, and after some time of praying about it and thinking it over, we have decided against it. Although it was not brought up as an issue during our meeting with the psychologist, after my own research….HOURS of research…. I believe my son is dyslexic. He is also a visual/spatial learner.  He scored really high in that area. 

I have recently come across the Barton Reading and Spelling Program and spent hours at her site, going through all of the research on dyslexia.  http://www.bartonreading.com and http://www.brightsolutions.com .  We have ordered and begun the first level. 

This is already really long, and I didn’t get to tell you about our daughter (9)…..long story short…when we pulled our son from public school, our daughter was in K.  We brought her home to homeschool as well.  I slowed things way down with her as I felt I had plenty of time yet and I was focusing most of my attention on my son.  Because of this, she fell behind a little….not much. But as we started really digging into the academics I started to see a lot of the same struggles that her brother had. L  She has not gone through any testing and at this point I don’t see the need to put her through that.  Based on her brother and all the research I’ve done, I believe that she too is dyslexic (not as severe as her brother).  I am going to be using the Barton Program with her as well. 

If you are still reading, I am so sorry this was so long.  I just wanted to share our story so others would know they are not alone.  I too often have days where I feel ‘defeated’.  Yet even though I have those bad days and days where I am basically freaking out, worried about my children’s future….I continue to have peace that we are doing the right thing by keeping them home.  I know that God has called us to homeschool them, and therefore I know he’s in the midst, and when all is said and done, our children will be just fine!!  I have to believe that!