Good news! When I turned off the advice giving machine my man began to take the lead. 

"...and the wife must respect her husband" (Eph. 5:33)

Since respecting our husbands isn't a suggestion, but one of God's commands to the Christian wife, I've been thinking a lot about it. How well do I obey this command? I thought I was doing fine, but something deep down was nagging me. Recently I figured it out.  I'm better at showing love than respect.

The command to men is, "Husbands love your wives as Christ loves the Church..."  Interesting, God gave husbands the command to love—the one thing that comes fairly easy for a woman and gave wives the command to respect—the one thing that's natural for a man. We're commanded to do what is opposite our nature and what is natural for our spouse. Why? So that God receives the glory (since it's only accomplished in His strength) AND it's exactly what the other person needs most.

When I show my husband respect, he feels valued. When he shows me love, I feel valued. The important thing to remember is that we should not wait to receive before we give.

Back to what was nagging me... I now realize that I was not showing my husband respect like I thought I was. I was showing him love. It was clear to me that he wasn't feeling respected but I couldn't figure out why. Then I read, "For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men"
by Shaunti Feldhahn (Good book!) and she gave me a nugget that's highly improved my relationship with my husband. If you want to know when your man is feeling disrespected, look at when he gets angry. WOW! The light bulb went on. I reflected on moments when my hubby's anger flared and it showed me clearly that he was feeling disrespected when I gave him advice. What a shock to me. I thought I was helping! Each time I suggested he do something a little differently, drive a certain way, or go a different direction I was in actuality throwing out little barbs that said in a sense, "you don't know what you're doing."  I now know to "help" in other ways--ways that truly express love AND respect.