Posted in On Being a Mom and a Wife
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As I laid my two little ones down to sleep, I knelt down next to the toddler bed and leaned in for a snuggly hug. "Are you going to lay with me", my 3yo asked me with bright eyes. "No, Sweet Boy", I replied. I explained that Mommy had to go get some rest too. |
Posted in On Being a Mom and a Wife
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Kariss has to read about three current events a week then type up a written summary. Today, she documented the killing of Lebanese minister/politican. Sometimes, I look up her sources and read them to check for plagarism. While perusing this article (located at http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15829846/page/2/), I ran across the following statement:
Christians make up about 35 percent of Lebanese, down from estimated 55-60 percent before the 1975 civil war. The decline is attributed to emigration of Christians and higher birth rates among Muslims.
In reading this, my heart ached. I want the world to be influenced for Christ and to see an area where the Salt and the Light is decreasing makes me sad. Christian people are leaving this war-torn area and moving to other places, leaving behind less of God's people in a place that suffers tremendously.
Also, Christians are just not having as many children as others are. How can we possibly influence the world for Christ if we don't continue producing other people to continue the work?
So many times I hear people discussing the number of children based on what's comfortable, convenient, or desired. Rarely do I hear people discussing the number of children they have based on God's prodding to grow the kingdom of God.
Let's face it. It's a numbers game. Everything is a numbers game. The more people that believe in a particular value, the more likely those values are to infiltrate the culture in which those folks live. The same holds true for Christians and our role in society. Not to negate God's power nor to negate the minority voice, but more people typically carry more power.
How in the world can Christians expect to continue replicating their beliefs and worldviews if we base the number of children we have on the same foundation as non-Christians. Our view of our role as mothers/parents/life-givers must change.
I don't say that everyone should have 12 kids, nor do I believe that people with two children are in sin. I do believe, however, that most Christians I know (including myself) have to take a HARD look at our reasons for our attempts at opening and closing the womb (God is the ultimate opener/closer :). We must constantly evaluate our desire for children and the number of them in the light of God's purposes and plan.
This brings my role as mother into a whole separate light. I view my role as infinitely significant b/c I am raising the leaders of tomorrow. I try to see beyond learning colors, shapes, reading, and algebra. My children have to be prepared to lead in a nation of followers and to think in a country of people where a large majority are trained to be robots and to follow the herd.
Our world is dying. My children will be the tools God's uses to affect change in that dying world. My job is to prepare them. The state of affairs in the world now, and in future generations, far supercedes my desire for comfort and financial surplus. I, along with my husband, must continually check with my Father to see if I've done my part in adding to the number that are marching in his army.
Help me Lord to think of the size of my family in light of YOUR plan and purposes. Help me to view my daily routine/activities/ and sometimes grind as a series of events that lead to a glorious end for my children's future. Help me to see past "getting them to "18". Help me to my children as world-changers and to view my time with them and input as deposits to their future contributions to society. |
Posted in On Being a Mom and a Wife
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God has really been dealing with me about being self-righteous. There...I said it. Yup...I am self-righteous. It's almost a relief to admit it.
I regularly look down upon other members of my household for all the stuff I do versus all the stuff they don't. I trump up in my head all of the good that comes from the work of my hands and how it is so sad that the brunt of the work falls on me.
Blame is the name of the game. It actually comes second nature. If my plans do not go off without a hitch, it's someone else's fault. If I find myself looking for a dish in the kitchen that has seemingly disappeared, someone else must of have broken it and not replaced it. If I have worked hard cleaning and the next day things are helter/skelter again, then other people around this house must have messed things up. If anything is out of place, figure out who the culprit is and NAIL 'EM.
A few days ago, I was searching high and low for my 24 hour fitness card. I remembered clearly the last time I had it and knew...just knew...I had put it in it's place. I was intent on finding it b/c after three visits to the gym w/o it, I'd be forced to buy another one.
I figured that someone else must have moved it, or that it had been mistakenly swept out of place by someone in their carelessness. I just KNEW that I put it in it's place.
Around this same time, my husband was looking for his phone charger. He searched high and low. No charger. He asked me multiple times if I had seen it. No, I hadn't. In my head I was wondering, why couldn't he keep up with his stuff and put it in it's place?
Digging in my purse, looking for my membership card, guess what I found....you guess it...his charger. Not 10 seconds later, guess what else I found...my membership card, tucked behind some papers on my desk...completely NOT in it's place.
it was almost like the Lord was saying to me...."see when you become aware of your own error, and admit your wrong doing, then I am free bless you".
The Lord has been dealing with me HARD on this issue of self-righteousness. He is asking me to be willing to be humble. He is also asking me to be willing to view others the way HE sees them and to treat others the way I want to be treated.
So my prayer this week is "Lord, help me see others with your eyes and reach out to them with your hands".
I do not want to be a older, bitter woman b/c I spent years and years counting up the failures of others around me and storing up nothing but criticism, sarcasm, and unforgiveness. I can't give up on people...especially the ones I love...Jesus didn't give up on me. My job as a mom and a wife does require a lot of sacrifice and selflessness. This is a fact. But so did Jesus' job of being my Savior.
OK...this was a bit of a ramble but I just had to get this out. |
Posted in On Being a Mom and a Wife
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It's amazing that I can feel so many emotions on the same day related to being a homeschooling mother.
I have one kid testing all the boundaries and another that does anything I ask willingly. Are they both my kids or what? How can they be so different today and then...why will they completely switch roles tomorrow and be just as different then?
My high schooler is great. I don't believe anymore that the teenager years have to be murder. I do believe they are years of accelerated growth and development....kind of like a two year old. We accept it at two but we get angry about teens. It requires the same amount of commitment. I think the main different is that the teenager uses words and the toddlers don't. Maybe we accept that since our sweet toddlers are still our "babies" and we know they are growing.
Well....my teenager is still growing too. So even as I discipline and direct. I must be patient with her. I'm typing this to remind myself b/c...I really wanted to SCREAM when the clothes were folded but not put away, the dishes were washed but not all clean, and the landing on the stairs held ALL the things I asked her to put AWAY.
UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!
Now on this same day, my 3yo BLEW me away by writing letters on his MagnaDoodle. I haven't taught him to write not one letter. He just decided today that he wanted to write an F and then he did it. Then he wanted to write an A and he did it again. My mouth was WIDE OPEN! He went on and wrote another 6 or 7 letters. How does he know how to do this? I dunno. I'm just glad I was with him to witness his moment of genius :) I don't have a picture of his letter but I do have a picture of his genuis moment before that....
Tre' is a puzzle maniac. We just recently graduated from frame puzzles to this Cars puzzle with 24 pieces. He put it together by himself the first time he tried. This might be normal for a 3yo but I don't know that so...I'll just settle for thinking he's a genius. Here's a pic. I tried to crop out the Buzz Light Year undies but couldn't get it all :o
This was TODAY....tomorrow I'll be raving about Kariss and pulling my hair out with Tre'!
The important thing I'm learning as a Mom is to take the good with the not so great and just do the job knowing that it pays off in the end. Each day will look different. Some will be successful, some will be torture, and some will be mixed. Just do the job to the glory of God and ask HIM to direct your steps with HIS children on loan to YOU.
btw...
Sweet Kanaan is still my precious toddler - he does no wrong :) & Jessica is on the A Honor Roll at school - no issues with them right now but their day for being blogged is coming...
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Posted in On Being a Mom and a Wife
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but I can't...not and be at home with them...and DEFINITELY not homeschool. They can't be in a zillion activities. We can't by them designer outfits or put a thousand gifts under the tree at Christmas. Eating out on a regular basis is NOT gonna happen. They will not have enough money saved for an Ivy League Education by the time they are 18.
Most of the time, I'm completely cool about not being able to meet up with society's standards of providing for my kiddos (for example, Wal-Mart vs. Dillard's for clothes). There are times, I have to admit, when it just seems like going on vacation (which is...getting a job where I get to be by myself all day) appears to look like such a GREAT option!
On days like these a little encouragement is a great pick me up.
I bumped into a blog that I have really enjoyed reading for the past couple of weeks. There is a post that addresses this very topic that I've been detailing with. I asked Lindsey, the blog owner, for permission to share it with you. Read more on the topic of Raising Children by visiting Lindsay's Blog to view her thoughts. |
Posted in On Being a Mom and a Wife
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Yesterday we found a small gecko hanging out by our front door. My 14 year old daughter and I were observing it as it stood still. Tre', my 3 yo found pleasure in observing it too....until it moved. When that tiny little amphibian moved, my and my daughter went to screaming and jumping around....and so did Tre'.
A friend of mine was over visiting and she got some hairspray to freeze the little bugger to make him easier to catch. She caught him and put him in a container (cutting of his tail in the process). Now...I was ready to throw that little something into a neighbor's yard three blocks down but my daughter wanted to keep him until my husband came home. My worst fear?....that the baby lizard like thing would get loose in my house. Stupid for me to freak out cuz it was really only about this big:
So for two days until hubby came the gecko lived on my kitchen island. For two days, my 3 yo didn't want any part of it.
I wondered how he went from being curious to being so afraid of that little thing.....OOOOOOOOhhhhhhh...cuz his MOMMY WAS SCARED!
So my fear rubbed off on him I'm sad to say. As a homeschooling Mom, I'm always reading about other homeschooling families looking at life as school and taking advantage of opportunities like this...but not me....I had taken this opportunity and created a fear of geckos in my 3yo.
When hubby got home I tried to get my 3yo son to show Daddy the gecko...you know...trying to redeem myself and encourage my son to look in awe at that little creature. "Nooooooooo" is all I got.
Around dinnertime, hubby and I are talking, and my son came up to the couch with a big smile on his face saying, "Daddy look at the lizard". There was no lizard. My son was carrying only the top from the container the lizard was in. Very slowly, I said, "Tre, where is the lizard"....hoping to God that what I thought was happening was only a figment of my imagination.
I got up from the couch and saw the container laying on the floor with no lizard in it. "oh no", I cried. Right at this instant my little boy jumped on the couch and started crying and saying over and over, "I scared of the lizard"! Shoot...I rubbed off on him again....
Well, this started an all out search for the gecko which ended with me hoisting up our sofa and my husband doing the honors of capturing the rodent. We looked around for Tre', only to find him in our bed, under our covers, hiding out. He would only come out when we had convinced that the "wicked old gecko" was gone. My husband told our son to stop crying and was actually getting irritated that his son was so freaked out by the incident. After all, he's a boy and boys are supposed to love this kind of stuff...that is...unless they are freaked out by their little-animal-fearing-mamas.
I'll have to remember that my power to influence my kiddos is awesome. I can rub off on them so easily. They watch and imitate so much of what we do and say. I'm gonna have to grow up and realize, the next time that I jump at a spider, that my son is watching. You think that maybe I can summon enough courage to be brave for the sake of his curiousity and feelings of security? I hope so.
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