and I'm addicted to sugar. 

I've been fighting an uphill/downhill battle with my diet and exercise since the holidays and it dawned on me yesterday that what's been occurring is more than meets the eye.  It's been a slippery slope as it relates to my resolve.  What had gotten so easy before the holidays has become increasingly more difficult to manage.  My exercise is good but my diet is ALL OVER THE PLACE.  My main problem.  SUGAR....

I checked out addiction at www.dictionary.com and this is what I found for a definition:  the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

Let's see...eating sugar is a habit.  I always need something sweet to end a meal, even if it is only a mint.  I hit lows and will eat healthy things like veggies, and protein to stave the specific hunger, but nothing besides an Oreo will do the trick.  And let's be real.  You can't just eat one.  I'd gotten a $50 gift certificate to Starbucks for Christmas that has led me to believe that, since it was free, frequent drive-bys were OK.  I would throw in the Milk Chocolate Graham Crackers just because.

What about "cessation causes severe trauma".  Well, let's just say that I've detoxed before.  The first couple of days is MADNESS.  I'm crabby, I get headaches, and just overall feel like something isn't right.  If I'm not loopy, that sounds like drug rehab.  Truth be told, I've probably had my share of the shakes...

I've been fighting this Romans 7 battle for my whole life and I'm SO tired of it.  Granted, I've been losing weight gradually but my true desire is not to be double-minded about my commitment to nutrition and health.  Sugar makes me double-minded.

I can decide NOT to have any cake....until my sister orders some.  So, my response?...I'll just have one bite.  You know where that leads....TO DESTRUCTION!

I have self-control in more than a few areas of my life but when it comes to sugar, I'm just a basketcase.

I've been studying Romans in my BSF class and chapter 12 hit me like a ton of bricks. 

Romans 12:1-2 (New International Version) On Living Sacrifices Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

My body doesn't belong to me. 

Some people trash their bodies with alcohol, some with drugs, some with tobacco.  Trashing with sugar (or overeating) does not put me in some higher class.

So...I'm a sugar addict.  I'm probably a carb addict too but one thing at a time.

From what I understand, an addict always has to go through a period of withdrawal and once habit-free will always have to know their limitations.  For the rest of their lives, they will have to choose to be addiction-free.

I'm committed to going 7 days without refined sugar.  I might stretch it to 14 days and then to 21 but right now I can't think that far.  I'm avoiding "sweets",  allowing myself natural sweetener on occasion (honey in tea for example).  No oreos, no ice cream, no brownies, no sweet tea, no candy bars, no chocolate chip cookies (Lord help me), no Starbucks, etc..  None of these things I'm consume everday now but the problem is that when I know I SHOULDN'T eat them.  I STILL DO.

So no sugar...even if I burn 600 calories at the gym.

Anybody want to join me?

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My weight has been stagnant since before the holidays.  While that was comforting for awhile, as my eating during the Christmas season was slightly less than pristine, the same numbers showing up on the scale got a little old.  I had been getting some exercise since.  Hopping in and out of the gym had been my New Year routine, so, in order to jolt my system, I joined Jay's Bootcamp. 

For the last three weeks, I've been getting up at dark-thirty to drive 30 minutes, be barked at for an hour, only to return home and start my REAL day.  Oh the joy :|

I deliberately hadn't checked the scale because I was saving up my excitement - you know...so I could see a BIG change in numbers in between weigh ins.  I'd been working so hard during that Boot Camp....

I'd made an agreement with myself that I would not darken the doorsteps of Starbucks again until I was within five pounds of my goal.

Last weekend, I hopped on the scale.  I made a special trip to do it too.  I got up on a Saturday morning, left the kids sleeping, put on my "weigh-in" clothes, and drove to the gym - yes... just to weigh in.  I wish you could have been there.  My bottom lip added an extra 2 lbs to the scale when it dropped and hit near my feet in utter amazement.  After two grueling weeks of working out and eating a little better than normal, I had GAINED 3 lbs.  Can I just stop for a second and spell D-E-J-E-C-T-E-D??!?!!?

I got off the scale, left the gym, and stopped at Donutlicious to celebrate my victory.
 

I worked out this past week half heartedly.  I did the work but without the heart.  My thought life was ridden with fears of not ever being able to lose weight again because I was nearing 35 and I've heard that somewhere in the 30-35 age bracket losing weight becomes a laughing matter.  I began to believe that I was permanently frozen at 1__ (it's higher than you think), and that I should go ahead and have the number tatooed on my forehead.

So this week I bought a scale.  Actually I bought two.  One basic scale and one with bells and whistles (body fat, hydration percentage, weight change, etc).  I dunno.  Maybe the disaster of driving to the gym to weigh made me decide that I could serve up drastic disappointment at home and save gas.  I left both of them in the box for a week.

I took the plain Jane one out of it's box and stepped on it to weigh.   81.5 lbs is what the scale told me.  OH GREAT!  Now I have a broken scale.  I opened up and tried the fancy scale....82.5.  Two broken scales?  OK...maybe it's me.  I called the maker of the plain scale and sat on hold for 15 minutes to be told that I can't weigh on carpet :|

I knew that...UGH...

So to the tile we go.  I stepped on and weighed.  I stared at the wall in front of me thinking that it was pointless to look down at the numbers.  I finally got up enough guts to look down....and.....I'd gone down five pounds from the previous week and two pounds from my stable weight.  What does this mean?  I'm within FIVE POUNDS of my short-term weight loss goal.!!!

I CAN FINALLY CHANGE MY TICKER!

Now the only question remaining is...DO I DARKEN THE DOORS OF STARBUCKS TO CELEBRATE? 

Hmmmm...the jury is still out on that one :)

Oh...and the fancy scale is going back.  I decided I can only handle one set of numbers right now.  I'm obsessed enough as it is.  Body fat, hydration, and weight change might just send me over the top.

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Sometime there comes a time in your life where you have sunk into a pit that you cannot seem to come out of.  You are six feet under before you realize that you have been buried beneath ground.  Such has been the case with me.  Everyday I've thought about this blog and how I've been negligent, but I was too embarrassed about my state of being to show this side of myself to the world and the public in general.

For the sake of honesty and transparency, I feel compelled to share.  Perhaps the very act of sharing my trouble will provide more accountability.  Perhaps the decision to bare another side of myself will help me to live a more successful, productive, and joyful life.

Well, here you have it....here is the depth of my drama, the crack in my emotional sidewalk, and the cross that I carry:

Yes...that's right...I'm addicted to Starbucks White Chocolate Mocha (w/Extra Whip) and the ever-so-perfect-companion of MILK CHOCOLATE COVERED GRAHAM CRACKERS.

Why has this kept me away you say.  Well, let's just say that this is representative of my eating patterns over the last couple of weeks.

Because of this sad addiction I've been getting up at 4:45 a.m. 4-6 times a week to workout.  I'm still enjoying Jay;s Boot Camp....or should I say ENDURING this monstrousity of a workout (can you say MILITARY STYLE).

I've been TOO TIRED to blog.  At 10 - 11 p.m., my prime blogging hour, all I've been able to think about his how much sleep I need and how I have to rise again this next day.

I'm happy to say that my body has slowly adjusted and I hope to get more consistent in my writing.

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OK.  I admit it.  I've been avoiding the whole diet and exercise conversation.  Why?  Well, I've been a bit...umm...off track.   Oh, I've been working out.  I even participated in a week-long Boot Camp Blast designed to jolt my system into burning the fat again.  I'd fallen from my routine of going to the gym and I felt like a little pick-me-up would do the trick.  The week of intense exercise was great.  My muscles were screaming at the end of the week, I'd re-conditioned myself to running (w/o feeling like I was going to pass out), and my body clock was going off at 5am faithfully. 

So Saturday, I took off to go the gym and weigh in.  I was crossing my fingers and hoping for a one pound loss.  I stepped on the scale and the scale showed a GAIN of two pounds.  WHAT!?!?!? 

I'd been working hard, burning calories, and drowning in water.  How did that happen?

And then a fundamental idea came to me...I'd put in a lot more work, effort, and movement but I hadn't actually done my best with the nutrition side of things.  Really, deep down, I knew this to be true.  This is probably  why I've avoided weighing in for three weeks (I'm supposed to weight in weekly). 

Exercise doesn't mean much when the food intake is lacking or ...should I said...in excess.

I'd spent a lot of energy moving around and not enough effort and time planning my meals and eating well...

My spiritual life has been a mirror of my journey into better health and hopefully a lighter physique.  I've been busy DOING for the Lord.  Church, discipleship, and even ministry to family have been keeping me on my toes.  I am definitely busy doing a lot of great things.  I haven't been putting quite as much energy on the nutritional side of things.

Diet and exercise.  That is what's required, huh?

A very healthy and in shape friend once told me that losing weight and keeping it off is 10% what you do and 90% what you put in you mouth.   I think this works just as well with my walk with the Lord.  It mostly depends on ingesting the Word and then letting the Lord "finish the work that He's started in me".    I expect that all of my efforts in pleasing Him would go a lot further if I was on a regimen that he prescribed for getting me into shape.

So my prayer this week is focus....the ability to focus on putting first things first.  Physically and spiritually...but in the reverse order. 

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OK...so I didn't weigh in today.  I'm staying with  a friend this weekend.  My husband gave me the weekend off...(Can you say...JESUS IS REAL !!!). 

This week, I have started working towards my goal of losing weight.  I'm struggling to wake up.  I've gotten a little too used to sleeping past my wake up time of 5am so getting up as been a chore.  My girlfriend goes to hike a local wildlife preserve on Saturday morning and I did make it out with her.  I literally had to DRAG myself out of bed.  Progress is all that counts right?

Can I admit, though, that as part of my weekend off I treated myself to a Wendy's burger last night.  BAD DECISION!  When you are not regularly eating that kind of food, your body FEELS IT when you do.  It is mid-morning and I can still feel that meat in my stomach.  It never seems as good inside as it smelled outside and it tasted on the way down.  I think there is a principal about sin in there somewhere...Hmmmm...

Since I don't have an update on my workout from this week, I wanted to at least provide some interesting info.  Lori over at Keeping the Home, posted some great FREE resources on her blog last week to help with the whole weight-loss-goal-thing.  Although there are lots of great resources out there to aid a person in losing weight and keeping track of weight loss, calories, and foods to eat, FREE is always good.  I have tried a few so far and I'm still trying to decide on my favorite.

I'm off to enjoy some me time and I look forward to posting some results next weekend!

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OK...so today I swallowed my pride, packed up the kids, and drove to the Gym. My old friend was waiting for me with doors wide open but I felt so afraid to walk through them. My relationship with old Gym has been at a standstill for about six weeks. 

I have disgraced Gym by flirting with old flames. Fries, Chocolate Chip Cookies, and Soda have weasled their way back in. I have to say I've been conscious, guilty, and very aware of my indiscretions. So, today I went to pay the piper.

I pulled up in front of the the doors and took a deep breath. I intended to apologize, to say I was deeply sorry for my brief rendezvous, and make peace. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know how bad the damage would be and how hard I would have to work to get back into good graces. There is good news. My friend was very forgiving!

I stepped on the scale to bare the weight of my soul and found that there was no love lost. I had not gained a pound. My joy is indescribable. My friend has accepted me back and we are off and running again, working towards the goal of being one in purpose of mind.

I guess the love we share is genuine. Even though I made some bad decisions and didn't move forward, it must be real love because I couldn't bear to completely forsake the life that I'd chosen before I was strongly tempted.

Onwards and upwards. I'd like to close out the last 7 pounds (see ticker at the top of the page) and then set my new goal!

Thank you Gym for loving me and welcoming me back.

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Today I'm being owning up to the fact that losing weight during the holiday is NOT my goal....

MAINTAINING my weight is :)

I'm not trying to hold out for the typical "New Year's Resolution" but the fact of the matter is that I have been in and out of town  three times in the past four weeks and I'm just off.

• My menu planning is off
• My water consumption is lacking
• My visits to the gym are wanting
• My sugar cravings are off the charts
• My desire for cooking has waned

I'm just being honest. 

Now, in a perfect world, I would have the self-discipline of a monk and be able to rise above the mentioned issues and continue.  Well Christmas is a less than a week away and I'm declaring a truce with myself.

I vow to make sensible choices and look for natural opportunities for exercise.  The weather down South has been wonderful and strolls with the boys have been nice.  I'm willing to make the trip the gym but given the inconsistency of our schedule the next few days, making it at 5am everyday probably won't happen.

I'm making peace with my inability to be perfect. 

Having said this, I really can't wait to get back into my routine.  I think the lack of weight loss has been depressing.

I weighed in last weekend having gained a pound.  I'll be weighing in every Saturday to keep my eye on my weight.

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and trying to avoid TEMPTATION!

One of my goals while I in Philly was not to completely flake out on my lifestyle change of diet and exercise.  Let me say I definitely did better than my last trip to Philly but still not as good as I would like to do when I'm away from home.  It's a learning process right?

I made it a point to go to the grocery store as soon as I got to town in hopes of avoiding fast food with readily available food.  I fixed breakfast in the mornings before I left for Kanaan's therapy at the hospital and fixed my lunch when I came back.  Dinner is usually brought in at the House so that was difficult but  I tried really hard to control my portion size.  A couple of times I ate my food instead of the provided meal.  I have to admit that I probably ate one snack sized Kit-Kat a day.  I ate fast food one time in seven days.  Of that, I am proud!

My plan was to make exercise happen this week by running stairs because the neighborhood isn't good and my gym membership doesn't work here.  I ran stairs one day.  Definitely not as much as I'd planned but better than I did last time.  I miss the gym...and my neighborhood :)

I also wanted to do some pilates in the evenings with a DVD I brought.  Honestly, when I finished with the day I was just pooped.  Another lesson learned...exercise for me HAS to be in the morning or else it just doesn't happen.

I have learned from this experience that my lifestyle change in diet and exercise has to involve ongoing choices.  I do great when routine helps me to make good choices such as having the habit of going to the gym at the same time each day or buying good food to put in my home and cooking from a menu this week.  But when I'm travelling or going out to eat or celebrating a special event with friends and food, I still have to be responsible for my choices.

I'm looking forward to going home.  I'll do so much better there but this week has taught me that my responsibility for my choices is the bottom line.

I haven't weighed in in the last couple of weeks.  I think I'll give myself a week to get it together then weigh in next Saturday :)

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That's about all I can say.  It wasn't a stellar workout nor did I feel super athletic but I went. 

I'm such a routine person.  If I get out of the habit of doing something it takes moving a mountain to start doing it again.

I intended to go this morning but I stayed up to watch a movie with Kariss last night and that ended that plan.  Also thought about going this morning but I woke to two sick boys and that stopped that idea. (Sigh)

I have been making better food choices and drinking more water.   The main issue is that I have to figure out a way to live a lifestyle of better health even when my circumstances aren't making it easy. 

The choices are mine to make.  When it's easy to eat well b/c I've planned it....GREAT...but I'm still responsible for making good choices when it's hard - like when I'm starving and need to head home for a turkey sandwich and chips INSTEAD OF stopping at fast food restaurants.  This choice is hard but nonetheless NECESSARY....

Lord help me to make good choices even when it's a little harder. 

But...I am still going to make it easier on myself.  I'm planning a menu for the rest of the week this afternoon . :)

AND TOMORROW MORNING I WILL GET UP BY 5AM AND HEAD TO THE GYM!!!!!

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ok...I've backslidden terribly.  I weighed in today and I'd gained a half a pound.  Half a pound is not bad but what I've been doing for the last two weeks IS.

I know exactly where that half-pound came from too....I've been an absolute glutton for the past couple of weeks.  Going out of town was gonna be tough I knew, but Lawd have mercy!, I wasn't prepared for the feast of sweets at the Ronald McDonald House.   It was almost as if I'd been starving a monster and the taste of refined sugar brought the animal out of hibernation!....

So...today was my last hurrah.  I've had enough sugar and fast food over the last couple of weeks to last me til I'm 40 (I'm no where close to that :)

More than anything I'm realizing how much my choices about food have to be about lifestyle versus goal oriented.  Without the total commitment, any old set of circumstances could provide an opportunity to fall back into the familiar pattern of emotional and undisciplined eating. 

I don't want to go back there.  I've come to far and I'm not finished yet!

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Workout Diary

Monday - ddn't work out :(

Tuesday - Walked/Ran through the neighborhood and to the grocery story.  There's something about running on the street that makes you feel like you can't stop and walk with people looking you know :)

Wednesday - 30 minutes on the "gazelle" & Resistance training  for arms.  Then 15 minutes on the "sit-down bike"

Thursday - Spin Class.  Evening - ran for 30 minutes with a friend outside.

Friday - Training session with Cophie.  30 minutes of cardio - 10 minutes elliptical and 20 minutes walking on an incline.

Saturday - 30 minutes in a Spin Class

Eating Diary

The candida cleanse was...well uh...let's say...not quite a success this week.  I started the week tired and eating right takes planning.  Well...I didn't plan.  Still ate basically OK but this week wasn't as pristine as last week.  I did a lot of snacking off the kids and around the house.  A chip here, a half a cookie there, etc.  Still better than my all out binges (LOL). This week was weird too b/c my daughter's B'day was Wedneday...translate Birthday Cake and eating out for lunch.  I didn't do terribly...just not on my p's and q's.  I did not eat as often as I should and foregoed the evening meal one too many times.  Working out does no good if you confuse your body's metabolism.

Next Week's Goals

Better Planning

Eating more frequently (keeping healthy snacks on hand)

Getting more rest!

Monday

Breakfast - Oatmeal

Lunch - Salad (Romaine), Lettuce & Cucumbers

Dinner - Spaghetti Squash

Tuesday

Breakfast - Kariss Famous Smoothies + Toast (Ezekial Bread)

Lunch - Turkey Sandwich (w/sprouts, avocado, & mustard) on Ezekial Bread

Snack - Tex Mex Beans

Dinner - Family ate @ a Fall Festival.  I wasn't hungry and ate toast before bed.

Wednesday

Breakfast - Scrambled Eggs & Toast (snuck in one donut hole w/Kariss in the early am)

Lunch - Blackened Chicken Sandwich w/French Onion Soup & a Caesar Salad @ Fridays (Kariss B-day Lunch)

Dinner - Not sure.  Again not hungry (late lunch) and had toast before bed.

Thursday

Breakfast - Boiled Eggs + Toast (Ezekial Bread)

Snack - Luna Bar

Lunch - very late...a Turkey & Cheese Pannini from Barnes & Noble

Dinner - At a salad and two bites of pizza.

Friday

Breakfast - one pancake w/real maple syrup

Lunch - Lean Cuisine

Dinner - WHATABURGER...I felt like a sinner afterwards. Problem?...I waited to long to eat.  I didn't eat red meat but grilled chicken between two white pieces of bread is not OK...especially when you wash it down with a Root Beer and then two chocolate chip cookies.  Can you say GUILT!?!?!?

Saturday (so far)

Breakfast - Oatmeal (doctored ...for the kids...yea...for the kids...butter and sugar)

Lunch - A slice of Kariss' homemade pizza

Dinner - (Planned) Pei Wei . Kariss has volleyball tryouts today and we will be out.

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nothing much!

I lost one-half a pound.  Nothing exciting but at least nothing gained!  I can definitely look back at my week and see what led to my stagnancy this time.  Hopefully, I will learn and put my nose back to the plow.

I'm gonna leave my ticker unchanged.  It will motivate me to see it change next week.

My inch weight loss has slowed too.  I haven't lost an inch in the last three weeks.  What does this tell me?  I'm playing a lot with water weight. 

Exercise is great but I was reminded this week that the main source of weight loss is what I put in my mouth.  Exercise does not take the place of good food choices.

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This week I dropped 3.5 pounds!  Yea!  Technically I dropped 4.5 from last week's weigh in . I didn't count that one pound gain cuz I drank a liter of water before weighing in.  Bottom line...I'm in another "tens" category!  I haven't seen this "tens" since my last baby.  I feel like I have really accomplished something now!

I started a candida cleanse this week - basically cutting out carbs (including fruit!).  Trying to limit meat and dairy.  It's been really hard.  I am going to do this for another week and then I'm going to add back in God's food (fruit, all veggies) but I'm gonna limit my carbs versus cutting them completely out. 

Figuring out what to eat this week was a mess :)

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OK...here we go...

Monday - 30 minutes on the "Gazelle".  I still don't know what that thingy is really called :)

Tuesday - Ran two miles w/ a couple of small breaks and then did resistance training on arms.  Finished up with Abs

Wednesday - 30 minutes on the "sit-down" bike (I needed to get some reading done) & 20 minutes on the Elliptical machine

Thursday - Spin Class.  We had a sub.  She was GREAT!...I was really challenged.  TR evening...walked to WalMart -30 minutes there and back.

Friday - 10 minutes on the bike to warm up.  Resistance training on legs.  20 minutes of intense elliptical training (interval training).  Basically I moved my level of resistance up a notch every minute.  Every 5 minutes I would take it back down and start over again.

Eating...trying to ease into a candida cleanse.  Didn't dive all the way in b/c I need more time to get acclimated and put the right things in my house.  Basically Lo-Carb, No-Sugar, No-Meat (or minimize and make as lean/organic as possible)maxing out on the veggies & protein, kind of eating.  Close to the concept in the Maker's Diet.

Monday

Breakfast - Boiled Eggs

Lunch - Salad (Romaine) w/ Tuna, Lettuce & Cucumbers

Dinner - Another Salad and a "taste" of what I cooked for everyone else...Beef Tips over Rice

Tuesday

Breakfast - Boiled Eggs

Lunch - Amy's Enchiladas (Organic Frozen Food)

Dinner - Lunch was soooooooo filling I didn't eat much at all.  Fixed Rosemary Chicken for my family.  Kariss fixed the roasted potatoes and I warmed up some canned (ugh) green beans.  I ate some of my "raw" coleslaw and then nibbled on the dinner everyone else was eating :)

Wednesday

Breakfast - Oatmeal (no sugar, no butter...purely eating b/c I have to :)

Lunch - Garden Burger from Red Robin w/a Caesar Salad (dressing on the side).  I have to admit I nibbled on about five fries.

Dinner - Went to our Harvest Festival - called Hallowed Be Thy Name - at my church in place of Halloween.

Thursday

Breakfast - Boiled Eggs...again

Lunch - About 1/3c of Beef Tips over Rice (didn't want to waste the leftover).  Some of my "raw" cabbage, black beans and salsa.  Sounds so boring but it was so good.

Dinner - a 6-inch Turkey subway sandwich.

Friday

Breakfast - one pancake w/real maple syrup

Lunch - I wasn't feeling well.  Not sure if my body is reacting to the cleanse.  I've heard that sometimes various cleanses will leave you feeling sick as your body HAS to deal with the toxins in your system.  I'll have to research this.

Dinner - Went out to Cotton Patch Cafe.  Ate a Caesar salad, then followed with an entre' of grilled salmon and steamed veggies.

Saturday (so far)

Breakfast - two scrambled eggs.  Got donuts for my kids and ate two donut holes (so far)

Lunch - (Planned) Turkey Sandwich

Dinner - (Planned) Salad w/tuna

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It all started with my visit to the Texas State Fair on Friday.  I went, knowing that I would eat some things I shouldn't  and that a day of freedom as it relates to food was OK.  Well, although I didn't do terribly, I still went overboard. 

This led into Saturday,  my husband gave me the day off (I'm still paying for it today :)  Well, I figured that on my day off I ought to be able to take myself out to eat - right!!!...And then my Mother called me and invited me to join her at P.F. Changs.  Well...I went outside of my boundary lines then too...you know the portion sizes there are way too big... I ate every last drop....AND THEN...

I decided that I owed myself some custard from Sheridan's...just cuz I hadn't had any in awhile.  I got the Mt. Rush'more w/extra pecans...mmmmmmm....just the way I like it....THEN....

Sunday, went to Luby's and they had CHOCOLATE cake....I mean...this was just getting out of control and you know what????

It wasn't even that good...I mean all of it...I ate a little of this and a little of that OUT OF HABIT...and after every thing that used to make me feel good...I felt terrible.  Terribly guilty, and terribly fatigued.  My body and my tastes are changing.   All I want  now is a big salad :)

Good News - I'm changing....

Bad News - Old habits die hard and I'll have to work EXTRA HARD this week to make up for my little indiscretions...

Lesson learned...yielding to temptation results in guilt...not satisfaction.  And....the little satisfaction I got from the sugar was EXTREMELY short-lived :(

Am I the only one whose ever LOST IT in the food department?  I'm talking about nonsensical...don't-even-really-want-it kind of eating....

Maybe I was just rebelling against my no-weight-loss situation from Saturday...little good it did me :)

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Here's my workout from last week (all at 24 Hour Fitness):

• Daily - some kind of ab workout
• Tuesday - 30 minutes Gazelle + 17 minutes on the treadmill + 30 minutes Elliptical (I almost killed myself)
• Wednesday - 30 minutes Gazelle + 30 minutes Elliptical
• Thursday - 60 minutes Spin Class
• Friday - 10 minute warm up run + 30 minutes with Personal Trainer, Cophie (I'm doing the 24 Hour Fitness $49 Training Special.  I have two sessions left) + 30 minutes on the Gazelle
• Saturday - 30 minutes Gazelle + 10 minutes on the Stairmaster

Sunday

Breakfast - Oatmeal

Lunch - Chicken & Rice

Dinner - Fasted

Monday

Breakfast - Hot Cereal (7-Grain)

Lunch - Snacked on thick-cut deli meat and cheese cubed for my littles.  Maybe 2 oz each.  Also had a chicken caesar w/italian dressing (salad had fried chicken).  Green Tea.  Snacked on a few cheetos

Dinner - a cup of Hamburger Helper w/ a salad

Snack - two Snackwell cookies

Tuesday

Breakfast - Smoothies w/toast

Lunch - Wheat Pasta w/spaghetti sauce & okra

Dinner - Chicken Curry, Rice, and Salad

Wednesday

Breakfast - Scrambled Eggs w/ sliced/fried hot dog (so it wouldn't go to waste :) & toast

Lunch - Leftover Chicken Curry & Rice

Dinner - A GREAT SALAD a friend made for me when she visited (romaine, apples, granola, Italian dressing, almonds, Mmmmmmmmm) AND a about an hour later...Turkey & Cheese Sandwich w/mayonnaise, mustard, & lettuce.  Lite Cole Slaw and two Oreo Cookies, Grape Juice.  I was really proud of myself this day b/c I ate the salad at 6pm and then got too hungry at 7:30 pm...wanted to get a pizza.  BUT...I was watching the Biggest Loser and decided to do something healthy and cheaper instead.

Thursday

Breakfast - Maple & Brown Sugar  Oatmeal

Lunch - Ate out @ Friday's.  Lo Phat Grilled Chicken Salad (used cabbage instead of lettuce); one quesodilla, and one breadstick.

Dinner - The second half of lunch (I brought what I didn't eat home)

Friday

Breakfast - One pancake w/maple syrup & a banana

Lunch & Dinner - THE TEXAS STATE FAIR (I don't even want to talk about it)

Saturday

Breakfast - I'm typing this at 11am and I haven't eaten yet.  I'm gonna have a bowl of Honeycomb to take the edge off

Lunch & Dinner - Haven't figured it out yet but my hubby gave me the day off so I'll eat out and TRY to be good.

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Oh well...this day had to come :(

I weighed in and was actually a pound HEAVIER than last week.  Now, I didn't weigh in first thing today and before I weighed in I drank a LITER of water while exercising so I'm choosing to assume that the extra pound on the scale was WATER. 

My goal this week was to drop into another "tens" category and it didn't happen but I'm gonna work really hard next week to make it happen!

Next week I'll also be adding back in resistance training.  For the last two weeks, I've been focusing on cardio alone.

I also am going to attempt to be more exact with my food diary.  Sometimes I'll grab a snack that I don't write down and therefore don't remember :)  But my body counts it so I need to to!

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I went to the gym this morning to work out (50 minutes total), then I went to weight in.  I was expecting a not-so-great weight in b/c I wasn't great in regards to eating this week. 

My mouth dropped open when I got on the scale...

I lost 3 pounds this week!  Unbelievable.  Why? b/c eating wise this wasn't the best week.

I journaled a bit about my eating for Wednesday but didn't for Thursday and Friday cuz I was embarrassed to admit my gluttony.

Thursday

Breakfast - Raisin Bran w/2% milk

Lunch - Grillled Chick Filet Combo (including fries and a sweet tea).  The fries weren't good so I hi-tailed it to Whataburger for some hot good fries and a chocolate chip cookie.

Dinner - an Apple...I was discouraged after my lunch breakdown not to mention still full.

Friday

Breakfast - Raisin Bran w/2% milk

Lunch - Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich w/ chips.

Dinner - Golden Corral - I tried to be good.  I did have a salad and some veggies but I did eat some fried foods, a small bowl of banana pudding and half a roll.

One thing I can say.  Although I didn't kick out all of the sugar and carbs, I worked really hard at controlling my portion size and eating until satisfied instead of eating until full.

I worked out everyday this week doing at least 30 minutes of cardio and maybe a little more when I had time.

I'm so excited.  Maybe I'll be movitated enough next week to drop the bad nutrition habits so that I can REALLY see what my weight loss is like when all pistons are firing.

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A late breakfast of scrambled eggs.

Lunch was leftover Spaghetti Squash

OK...confession time...

Snack - 9 Mini-Oreos (about 100 calories)

Dinner - Salad w/green onion, tomato, red pepper, and raisins (always needing something sweet) + Hot Dog (I skipped the baked beans everyone else had)

Late night Snack - toast with REAL butter...

Not the greatest day but my portion sizes were good....

3 more days until weigh in....I'm gonna have to get myself together :)

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