Recently some friends and I have been discussing why it is important to us to remain faithful to being keepers at home--making our primary work caring for our homes and children, and continuing homeschooling. We are all single moms. It has been a difficult choice for all of us, and we have had to give up some things, do without, and work very hard to do what we believe is right. We have all faced some criticism or pressure for our choices, and have come together to encourage and support each other as we try to obey what we believe to be our calling. Much of what we have discussed and believe has been excellently communicated by Janet and I encourage you to read what she has to say if you want to understand our position. But as I have tried to work out this issue in my own mind, God has moved me to consider another aspect of it.
The question that has plagued me most is that if I believe that scripture is truth, and I understand something to be a command or principle enough to live by it, what do I do when another believer doesn't agree? Or what if they just don't want to do it? What "sins" (a partial definition of sin being any failing to do the will of God either by omission or commission) are serious enough to confront as taught in Matthew, and how do I justify allowing someone to do what they believe, even when it differs from my understanding of scripture? Is it wrong for me to help someone who is not doing what I believe scripture commands, either because they do not believe it is a command, because they don't believe God enough to trust Him to provide, or whatever? How far do I go in arguing my conviction with someone who doesn't agree or who is critical of what I am doing? God has slowly worked to teach me about this and to answer these questions for me. (But I'm sure class isn't over!)
The question that came to mind as I worked through this is this: Does their obedience to this command, or any other, affect their salvation? Gosh, I hope not! If it does then I'm in trouble because I continue to struggle with obedience in areas of finances, time management, controlling my temper, etc. and their are specific mandates on those too! My pastor has been preaching through Phillipians, and has been heavily teaching on grace and justification. He has shown over and over how we (all of us) tend to lean to a faith PLUS mentality. It is just so hard for us to believe that we are saved by grace ALONE. Why then, is it important to make other Christians believe that being a keeper at home (or believing in the doctrine of election, or not watching certain movies, etc.) is biblically commanded? I tend to argue about this issue of being a keeper at home to prove that I am a good Christian woman. I have faith in Christ PLUS I stay home with my children, homeschool, make meals from scratch (OK, mine are usually out of a bag! Sorry, I really hate cooking even though I know full well I should do it a little more!) Do you see the faith PLUS in my statement? While I am NOT presuming that anyone else of argues about an issue for this same reason, I have just come to discover that this IS my reason.
So I've started asking myself, why SHOULD I stay home and obey this command? It doesn't earn me any points with God. Why should I point it out as a command to others, knowing that they won't all agree, or obey, and that God loves them and saves them whether they obey or not? Why? Because it pleases God? Yes, it pleases God when I obey or when others obey, but it doesn't cause Him to be more pleased with ME. (That's faith PLUS!)
So this is what I am thinking: I am to obey what I understand to be truth and to tell others that it is what I understand as truth. I do it simply to obey, and also because I know disobedience brings consequences, even when God is merciful. I don't want to face the consequences of neglecting my home. Knowing myself the way I do, I know that if I worked a full-time job outside the home, I would neglect other more important things at home. I do it so that in my life, the Word of God is not maligned, because I love Jesus who is the Word! I want to see other women love Him so much that they want to obey Him and honor His word, because He deserves THAT MUCH GLORY. I do it because He is honored and glorified, even when I do something that is very, very hard to do.
BUT if I use this mandate to argue with another believer (to the point of condemning them, hurt feelings, anger on either side, etc.), suddenly I have used God's very Word to be divisive and to create disunity. Are there not commands against that? I can already hear the argument against what I just said, that we should confront sin! I agree, and I think there are some sins so hurtful that we do have to be loud about them and stand our ground. But in some things, I do confront sin when I tell others I am doing something because I believe God's Word commands it. At the spot where I have made my position on this truth clear, I leave it alone and let the Holy Spirit take it from there. If someone chooses to disagree, sometimes I think the most I should do is ask them to really pray about it, requesting that God make it very clear to both of us! Then I go on loving them, serving them, helping them, treating them like they were Christ, because that is what God sees when He looks at them.
The whole concept of justification has really helped me to see this. I realized that when God looks at me, he sees all the perfect choices and actions that Jesus lived, because when Jesus died, God put on Him all my dirty, rotten sins, exchanging them for Jesus' righteousness. I am NOT perfect, God just sees me as such when He looks at me, and He is in the process of sanctifying me, or making me into what He already sees. If God looks at me with grace, and sees Jesus righteousness, shouldn't I at least try to do the same with my brothers and sisters who God also sees as righteous?
Understanding grace, justification, sanctification, and all those other big, theological words has helped me to look at my friends differently when they don't do as I think they should. And hopefully, as my brothers and sisters in Christ watch me, they will encourage me to live out my conviction to be a keeper at home, even if they don't completely agree with my reasons. |
• Apr. 4, 2006 - Untitled Comment
What a wonderful entry this is and it has blessed me! I especially love your quote "But in some things, I do confront sin when I tell others I am doing something because I believe God's Word commands it. At the spot where I have made my position on this truth clear, I leave it alone and let the Holy Spirit take it from there. If someone chooses to disagree, sometimes I think the most I should do is ask them to really pray about it, requesting that God make it very clear to both of us! Then I go on loving them, serving them, helping them, treating them like they were Christ, because that is what God sees when He looks at them."
I see such wisdom in you and a very close walk with God. I know that you love Him and want to please Him in all you do. You encourage me so much, dear sister.