Funny how just when I think I'm over all the pain from the past, and the baggage has been turned over to the Lord, I realize that I've grabbed it back again, am trying to carry it all, and it hurts!!! I'm going through a new round of emotional stuff, questioning God at my core, even if I fear Him enough not to do so on the outside. As usual, He answered me quickly . . . and sweetly.
"And if we plead with God for a while without realized success, it makes us more earnest . . . . The spade of agony is digging trenches to hold the water of life. If the ships of prayer do not come home speedily, it is because they are more heavily freighted with blessing. If you knock with a heavey heart, you shall yet sing with joy of spirit. Never be discouraged!"
Charles Spurgeon, excerpts from his sermons in a devotional on prayer.
As a father pities his children, so the LORD pities those
who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we
are dust. As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes
like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and
it is gone, and its place knows it no more. But the
steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to
everlasting upon those who fear him, and his righteousness
to children's children, to those who keep his covenant and
remember to do his commandments.
Psalms 103:13-18
Just some of my thoughts on these whispers from God:
Although my present "sufferings" seem long and hard, they can't be, since my days are like grass. They will be less than a breath when I reach eternity.
Keeping his covenant and doing His commandments means I rely on His grace and cling to HIS steadfastness, not my own. I could easily get discouraged by my own failure to obey Him, but I run back to the place where I remember that He sealed the covenant on His own because He knew I couldn't keep it. My hope is in His perfect fulfilling of my price for sin, and in His perfect work to transform me into His likeness, even though the latter isn't finished yet.
|