My kids came home from a weekend at their dad's yesterday . . . yet another reminder of what a failure I feel like.  They had presents with them--all surprises--which made it more fun. I'm all about surprises.  But two of my three kids are all about figuring out my surprises and know me just a little too well, so they found the key to my locking closet and have already checked out many of their presents. 

They came home with individually packed bags of goodies.  Their dad's girlfriend baked!  She works full-time and she baked!  I haven't even started my baking.  I plan to . . . but it's almost lunch time on the day before Christmas.  Yeah.  That'll happen.

My house is a mess still.  My "to do" list is daily getting longer because of the things I keep moving to the next day.  I have five hours until church service and about twelve hours of stuff to do.  And oh yeah . . . . Do I plan on going in my pajamas?

I walk around feeling like a failure.  One day a year that I really want to be special, and I can't even pull that off.  To make matters worse, the plans I had for the kids and I to really focus on Jesus--to spend time in the scriptures, to quietly reflect on His advent (me, not the kids.  They don't do anything quietly.), to celebrate HIM even if nothing else got done . . . . I even failed at that.  I don't even have that to hold on to.  BUT . . .

Yesterday God gave me one of His presents.  I've asked Him to give me just one new insight into the Christmas story each year, and I got it yesterday.  My dear pastor taught from Isaiah 42:1-4, and I was reminded that Jesus came to satisfy the Law.  I was under the law.  God expected perfection from me, or I would receive death.  Again and again I failed.  I couldn't even be perfect for one day.  But He loved me.  So God, who was over the Law, placed Himself under the Law and kept it.  Then, even though He was innocent of transgressing it, even though HE had been perfect . . . He was judged, sentenced, and put to death by the Law, paying the price even though He had no debt.  That was His gift to me.  Not just payment for my failure, but His perfection.  God, who made the rules . . . who could change them at His will . . . who didn't need to prove that He never breaks the rules . . . He came anyway, and lived under them.  I sure wouldn't have done that. 

From time to time I've asked myself if God is truly humble.  Why should He be, He's God?  There is nothing for Him to be humble about.  Yet in this gift, I realized that God did show humility.  He did it by playing by His own rules.  He did it by coming in the person of Jesus . . . by confining Himself for a short time to human form and subjecting Himself, the Creator and Ruler of everything, to His own rules.

And He did it for me.  If I live another 40 years, I'll never understand why I didn't get the better end of the gift.  'Cause from appearances sake, he still got failure.  But now when He looks at me He sees Jesus . . .and He delights in both of us.  Cool.