(No, I haven't fallen off the planet.  I have been posting entries on my other blog because I've had so much to write about our new puppy.  I like Blogspot for posting family pictures.  I can't believe it's been over a month since I've posted here though!  We have been schooling . . . kind of . . . well . . . OK, we're unschooling . . . not really, but it makes me feel better to say so.  When does summer start?)

I hate this question.  No, actually it's the occasional eye-rolling I get when I say I'm a full-time homemaker.  Would it help if I said I run a very expensive child-care agency?  (My ex-husband thinks I'm expensive anyway!)  How about if I do charitable work with special children?  (I think they're pretty special!)  Hmmm . . . I guess I could say my family is a missionary family to our local county.  But I really like calling myself a homemaker . . . because I think that's a pretty important job!  (Thanks Mom, for teaching me that!) So I'll take the eye-rolling, and just keep looking to my Beloved to approve of my work.  Meanwhile, I found this poem by Valerie Bendt.  She was one of the most influential homeschool moms in forming my personal philosophies and approach to homeschooling (even if some people . . . and maybe my kids . . . would say what approach?). 

I am a Professional

I am a professional
And I hold a high degree,
My clients are but children
And they’re very dear to me,
I work extended hours
And the pay is not too fair,
But the benefits are great –
No other job can compare,
So as I look around me
And see women at their jobs,
I gladly claim the title –
Full-time professional mom!

based on Isaiah 6:1-6

August 16, 2006

Not only do I see You, Lord

But You dwell inside me.

Where is my sense of dread and woe,

Because Your face I see?

O God of all the universe,

For all eternity

Amazed I am of all You are

And that You would choose me

I walk through life so unaware

Of all You are to me,

And then, dear Lord, You break my pride

And teach humility.

O God of all the universe,

For all eternity

Amazed I am of all You are

And that You would choose me

Resisted pain and ran from trial

In them You pursued me,

‘Til finally in my broken place

I caught a glimpse of Thee.

O God of all the universe,

For all eternity

Amazed I am of all you are

And that You would choose me

And now I fight against the lies

That no one chooses me.

In moments of my loneliness

It’s to Your wings I flee.

O God of all the universe,

For all eternity

Amazed I am of all You are

And that You would choose me.

Copyright 2006

‘Tis in the Valley

From Psalm 23:4

In the valley filled with tears

Overflowing with my fears

Surely here I am alone

Without you Lord and on my own

When all around me seems so dark

When shadowlands loom sad and stark

No glimpse of daylight can be seen

And life seems only harsh and mean

‘Tis there where I remember You

Begin to look for things You do

And in the shadow begin to fight

For there’s no shadow without Light.

Another one of mine.

Copyright 2006

And yet another wonderful verse from Amy Charmichael that reminds me to delight in what God has given me now, and most of all to delight in having HIM!!

Rose From Brier

by Amy Charmichael

Thou hast not that, My child, but thou hast Me;

And am not I alone enough for thee?

I know it all, know how thy heart was set

Upon this joy which is not given yet.

And well I know how through the wistful days

Thou walkest all the dear familiar ways

As unregarded as a breath of air;

But there in love and longing, always there.

I know it all; but from thy brier shall blow

A rose for others.  If it were not so

I would have told thee.  Come, then, say to Me:

My Lord, my Love, I am content with Thee.

My Lord, my Love, I AM content with Thee!  Forgive me for the moments I decieve myself, or am deceived into thinking I cannot . . . will not . . . be content.  You are enough for all eternity.  Beloved, come!

Every time I read this I am ashamed of how whiney I am.  I have nothing to complain about.  Even those things I beg God for which He does not give, are nothing.  The things He has taken away are inconsequential. 

No Scar?

by Amy Charmichael

Hast thou no scar?

No hidden scar on foot, or side, or hand?

I hear thee sung as mighty in the land;

I hear them hail thy bright, ascendant star.

Hast thou no scar?

Hast thou no wound?

Yet I was wounded by the archers; spent,

Leaned Me against a tree to die; and rent

By ravening beasts that compassed Me, I swooned.

Hast thou no wound?

No wound?  No scar?

Yet, as the Master shall the servant be,

And pierced are the feet that follow Me.

But thine are whole; can he have followed far

Who has no wound nor scar?

Lord Jesus, thank you for my scars . . . which remind me of your scars.  Mine are so small, yet they hurt so.  Yours are so incomprehensible to me.  Let no one hail me as mighty or bright, since it is only by your power that I do anything well.  Lord, I want you only as my Master; remind me of this when I face a new trial, that I might embrace the wound and treasure the scar.  Thank you that I am whole for now.  Thank you that my wholeness will not remain so as I travel through life, being conformed into your image. 

A love so deep, Lord give to me

That I like You might always be.

Letting go

Of what I know

To watch one grow

As your words sow

The richness of a life with Thee.

A sacrificial love I pray

Would be my long remembered way.

To strive for best

Another blessed

My lifelong quest

Let go—my test!

In you my loneliness allay.

No striving to exert my will

I learn to fight by sitting still

On you to wait

Impulse abate!

Hope You create

And flow love’s spate

Your accolades my life to fill!

Note:  Our of respect for the incredible talent of Amy Charmichael, I realized I need to state clearly here that this is one of mine, not hers.  It is just my response to some wrestling I've been doing with God.  I know it's time to hit the computer when I find myself thinking in verse!

Written 8/9/06

Copyright 2006