Today I did one of my favorite things.  We have a huge used bookstore near where I live, and today I took some books to trade in and had time to roam around and shop.  It was so great--I love finding used books at bargain prices (well, not quite so bargain, but less than I would get them new, and maybe even on Amazon). 

But as I wandered, I got to thinking about all the different kinds of books that were there.  Then I got a little scared.  I realized how influential the written, and sometimes spoken, word is, and I became afraid for my boys.  How will they resist all the crazy, weird, and even dangerous ideas that are out there that seem to make sense, but are pretty much just unbiblical.  Lies.  What if they get carried away by lies?  After all, I can't control (censor?) what they read, watch and listen to forever.

Nor could my parents for me.  And somehow by God's grace, I have either been protected or brought through all the crazy ideas that I have had access to.  Somehow, in ways I don't understand and that don't make sense to me, God is bigger than all of that.  After thinking about that I felt a little better.

Then on the way home I got behind a car PLASTERED with bumper stickers.  Now I will mention that bumper sticker wisdom is a pet peeve of mine because most of it is so . . . foolish.  (Right up there with church marquis theology)  But this guy had LOTS of delightful little Leftist sayings covering the whole backside of his car.  My personal favorite were the stickers that essentially said "How can someone who is pro-life also be pro-war?" 

OK.  Let me think about this a minute.  Let's NOT declare war on a way of life that enslaves more people than it serves because they have a different colored skin (or a different faith, or religion, etc.).  Let's NOT get involved in a war, instead let's just let EVERY JEW in Europe be exterminated while a madman takes over the entire continent.  Let's NOT get involved in a war where a religious group has as part of it's recorded doctrine the destruction of anyone who doesn't embrace it's faith, and who are living out the first part of that by exterminating any who don't agree with their religion right in their own country and are beginning to branch out into efforts to take out the big guy who can stop them by destroying innocent people.  Let's be anti-war so we can be pro-life so millions of innocent people can die at the hands of bullies whom no one will bother in the name of tolerance.  Is that really being pro-life?

I'm not crazy about war, but it seems that sometimes you have to fight for the innocent and defenseless.  Like groups with no voice due to poverty or no power (Orphans, widows, the poor).  Like unborn infants.  Like those oppressed for practicing their religion (including millions of Christians in the 10-40 Window, as well as those of other faiths who are persecuted).  You don't fight because you love war and death, but because sometimes death must be stopped by fighting it. 

I know it doesn't totally make sense.  Confusion is the result of sin.  And so our lives are complicated and confusing.  But I'm still pro-life. 

And I hope my boys will think about the bumper stickers and books they read and apply God's Word to it.  'Cause that's the only thing worth hoping in.

 The boys and I have been listening to The Tales of Despereaux, by Kate DiCamillo.  Although the jury is still out on the content of the story itself (because we haven't gotten to the end), the writing itself has been superior.  I picked up the book on tape because it is a Newberry winner.  It captured our imaginations right from the beginning.  Although the story has been filled with tragedy, it has remained humourous and intriguing enough to keep us glued! 

Kate is also the author who wrote Because of Winn Dixie, and because of some of the imagery and themes I saw in common in her work, I checked out her website tonight.  Although I didn't get answers to the questions I was asking in the back of my mind, her website is a delightful place to visit.  She has a wonderful section on writing that I am planning on recommending to Josh's FLVS teacher.  About writing she said:

 Not until years later when I finally made a commitment to writing, when I was fighting despair, wondering if I had the talent to do what I wanted to do, did those words come back to me. And what I thought was this: I cannot control whether or not I am talented, but I can pay attention. I can make an effort to see.

 

Because of Winn-Dixie is the result of that effort. It is a book populated with stray dogs and strange musicians, lonely children and lonelier adults. They are all the kind of people that, too often, get lost in the mainstream rush of life. Spending time with them was a revelation for me. What I discovered is that each time you look at the world and the people in it closely, imaginatively, the effort changes you. The world, under the microscope of your attention, opens up like a beautiful, strange flower and gives itself back to you in ways you could never imagine. What stories are hiding behind the faces of the people who you walk past everyday? What love? What hopes? What despair?

 

Trey Greer did know what he was talking about. Writing is seeing. It is paying attention.

As I reflected on her comments, I thought about how the things that make for a great writer are also the things God wants us to be as believers.  Coincidence?  I think not!  I am sure that the God who creates instilled part of this, His character, into those gifted to create pictures with words.  I am grateful to Him that He has used circumstances in my life in the last decade to cause me to be more alert to people around me and to wonder about their story, as I try to tell stories, and try to tell the Greatest Story ever told. 

I rediscovered today one of the reasons I love homeschooling.  It's real.  It gives my children a little more exposure to real life . . .  and to real death.  A dear friend of mine and of my mother's died this weekend. Over the last few days, I have been able to serve the family.  It has been such a blessing not to have to worry about school pick up times and those kinds of committments.  It was also a blessing to take my boys to the funeral today.  Seems like a strange blessing, I know, but I realized what a blessing it was as I looked around the church filled with people honoring an incredible woman who lived her life for the Lord.  Do you know how many children were there?  Other than the children in her family, maybe three.  My three.

The boys heard how this woman had, along with her entire family, come to know the Lord.  They heard how she had lived her life seeking the treasure of God's Word.  They saw the example held up of how she had lived her life serving others.  They heard.  And they came face to face with loss--the loss of her family, the loss of a church, the loss of a large Bible study, and my loss.  My oldest son put his arm around me as I cried. He learned to comfort his mom.

While other kids were leaving the microcosm of their schools to do math homework or to learn to play soccer or piano, my kids were with me as I explained  the etiquette of a funeral, of the procession, and of the wake.  They were instructed that all they had to do for the family was to hug them and say they were sorry.  Today, they learned a little about grieving, a little about being a servant, and they learned that life ends. None of this will make their own losses less painful.  I simply don't have the power or the know-how to relieve them of that.  But hopefully the education they received today will help them know how to deal with real life, especially as they face other losses.  These are things they will have to know.  I'm so glad I get to teach them.

I just did something and my brain is telling me it's crazy.  I ordered an accompaniment soundtrack for the song "Remembering Me," by Stephen Curtis Chapman.  And I paid for two-day shipping!  Our homeschool co-op is having a closing program Friday night.  My oldest son wants to sing this song at the program.  My son has NO musical training.  He has participated in children's choir several years, but that is the extent of his musical experience.  When he sang a duet this year, we discovered he does have a good voice.  Now he wants to sing this Friday.  So I spent the money to order the background music.  I wanted so much to discourage him, after all, preparing for a solo is HARD work.  He has no idea.  He thinks because he can sing the song with the CD, he's ready.  Part of me wants him to "face reality."  But I ordered the soundtrack.  Why?  Because a bigger part of me wants him to take this risk.  I want him to try this, even if he feels he has fallen flat on his face when it's over.  Most of all, I want to encourage this kid, who is hard to motivate to do anything, to try something he likes.  I think that might be worth the financial investment.  Am I wrong?

One of my dearest friends and I have spent years now batting around one of our theories of childrearing that I call the Power of Appetite.  We train appetites.  They are either fed and strengthened, or starved and rendered powerless.  I love chocolate and sweets.  For some reason, when I eat them, I cannot get enough.  It starts with just one M&M, and by the time I'm done I've eaten the whole 10 pound bag!  But there have been times in my life that I have done without these foods for long stretches, and I discovered that after starving those appetites for a while, I really didn't want them.  Unfortunately, one of the rules of an appetite is that it can be reawakened more easily than it can be starved, so it only takes a little indulgence on my part, and I am on a chocolate kick again!

I see the Power of Appetite at work in behavior also.  My oldest son loves to tease.  He can pester his brothers mercilessly, even until they are in tears or fuming mad.  When I stop to ask myself why he is does this, I remember how I teased him when he was younger.  I taught him that there is power in teasing.  I fed that appetite.  To starve it, I have to isolate him every time he teases.  No power, no satisfaction, decrease in appetite.  I have also seen the appetite rule in his craving for television.  Of my three children, he was given more access to TV at a younger age than the others.  So he is the one who would rather watch than play outside, or pretend in his room, or read.  When I do better at leaving the TV off, those other pursuits become more of a priority in his life.  Unfortunately another rule of appetites I have observed is that once you are predisposed to an appetite, it never really goes away.  It may diminish, even lose power over you,  but with the slightest overindulgence it grows out of control once again.  I fed my son's appeitite for TV, and it is now something with which he will always struggle.

Fortunately, the Power of Appetite has a positive effect also.  For years now I have read to my children.  We've gone on all kinds of adventures together--from Narnia and Camazotz, fighting battles with woodland creatures, and discovering hidden treasure on deserted islands alongside King Arthur and William Wallace.  For years I have worried that my children-my oldest especially-loved being read to, but not reading himself.  He would listen to books on tape, but wouldn't pick up the same book in print.  But I didn't realize I was feeding an appetite.  Last week he read one of Lloyd Alexander's Prydain series books.  This week he voraciously completed one from the Redwall series.  Why?  Becuase now he has an appetite for stories and for reading.  My kids love to drink water because they don't have frequent access to sodas and juice.  They often choose to eat apples, carrots, and granola bars instead of chips and candy.  They prefer Chirstian music over other kinds.  And I hope that by spending time in God's Word every day, I am feeding an appetite for Him. 

Often I don't think about appetites when I am feeding them.  And sometimes it is impossible to know what appetites our children's personalities and weaknesses predispose them to.  A little provocative dress here and a passionate kiss there and our teen has an appetite for romance, or worse, sex!  Having boys, I have fed an appetite for war (see my previous post "Putting Battle in a Boy").  But I have to be careful lest I begin to feed an appetite for violence.  It is so easy to make excuses for exposing our young ones to sin, but for some kids even a minimal repeated exposure can trigger . . . you got it! . . . an appetite!

So what do you do with this Power of Appetites?  I think it begins with being with our children enough to observe what appetites drive them.  This will give us fuel for prayer.  Scripture says the God gives the believer a "new nature."  He is the one who can change the appetites.  As parents, the hardest thing we have to do to free our children from teh power of unhealthy appetites is to starve it.  But fasting is miserable in the beginning, so you have to remain strong and commit to sticking with it.  To starve my son's TV appetite, we have to go completely without TV for weeks.  Only then can I slowly reintroduce TV, all the while watching to make sure I don't see the appetite regaining control.  This starvation period is hard.  No one like going on a diet.  Why?  The appetite is our god and demands satisfaction. But after a while, the appetite loses its power, and we gain some mastery over our bodies. 

I suppose that it is also wise to watch for ways that we are starving appetites that we want to nurture.  I have slipped back out of the habit of setting aside quiet time with the Lord, both for me, and for the children.  I have also been neglecting our Bible time for school.  Our appetite for the things of God is starving, and so this week, I need to get busy and feed it once again with lots of time with the Lord. 

Appetites are interesting things.  Feeding and starving them properly can be the difference between being healthy or ill, between growing wise or foolish.  So this week, I'm going to spend some time praying and pondering what appetites drive each of my boys.  But for now . . . where are those M&M's?

Today we attended a field trip at one of the local public parks.  There we were taught some things about survival.  It was really cool.  They taught the kids things like how to stay warm in the woods if you get lost (stuff your clothes with leaves and such and don't lie directly on the ground), how to help rescuers find you (carry a bright orange trash bag or always wear some bright colors), how to pack a survival kit, and more.  The actually took a hike. 

Of course, I can't tell you everything that they learned because I was networking!  Yes!  I got to talk to other homeschool moms!  Josh liked being with his friends. Stephen loved all the new things he learned. And AJ liked playing on the playground with his little friends.  The other thing I liked was that while they went on the hike, I got to tale a long quiet walk.  It gave me time to read and pray without interruption. 

What's more, this is only part of a series of survival classes they are offering.  We can't wait to go to the next one! 

Right now the boys are snuggling on my bed.  One of them is feeding the baby girl we are keeping.  They are being so sweet to her.  Of course, they are arguing amongst one another about who is taking up too much room on the bed and why the other should or shouldn't touch her, but I guess that's to be expected.  Yesterday I started teaching my oldest how to get the bottles ready and how to change diapers.  Do we call this Home Ec.?  No way!  This is real life, not a class.  They are learning something about being Daddies.  I am praying the Lord will use this to prepare them to be good husbands and fathers.  And I'm thankful that they are home with me today to be learning something they wouldn't have the time or interest in if they were with peers all day.

I have read Parenting in the Pew and was really convicted to keep my children with me in church so I can work on teaching them how to worship.  The first months went wonderfully.  The two older boys are, of course, able to sit for an hour and a half, but this is a real stretch for five-year-old ants-in-his-pants AJ.  He did well at first since the whole experience was new and intriguing, but now I have the occasional Sundays when we spend an awful lot of time making trips to the bathroom, and he has a hard time keeping his arms down, staniding all the way up when we sing, and not telling me in the middle of the sermon that he left his Lego guy (that I didn't even know he had!) in his Sunday School class.

Today was just a complete adventure.  There were the normal things--flapping like a bird, spinning in his seat (How many times did he turn around before I realized what he was doing?), and kissing me on the hand.  He also decided to lift the smock on my dress, tell me in the middle of a hymn that his shoe was untied, and sit on his Bible (not your usual oops, I sat on my Bible--more like, hey look, I'm two inches taller when I sit on the Bible!).  But the moment when I wasn't sure whether to laugh or take him out and spank him was when I looked over and he had his shirt completely unbuttoned.  He was undressing in church! I just reminded him that this was not the place to undress and told him to button back up. I want to carry a sign: "Child Worship Training in Progress.  Sit near at your own risk! (And please be patient)"  But I think most people have figured it out already.  Please tell me he really is learning  how to worship from all this!  I'm hoping I'm at least setting the example (when I'm not wearing my frowny "no" face, or shaking my head at him.

Dear Lord,

I'm sorry about what I taught my kids today.  This morning when I woke up late, then woke them up late, then didn't pray and ask you how to make up for lost time, I taught them that time belongs to us instead of You.  And when I yelled at AJ for wanting to help with the baby, I taught them to be impatient, and that I have to be in control of everything.  I taught him that what he does to help isn't contributing anything, and that he is too little to really help at all.  I taught them how not to control their tempers.  As I scrambled around making copies too late, or trying to figure out what they should do for copywork, I taught them that life can be managed without planning and preparing.  And I taught them that their time is less valuable than mine. 

As I played on the computer this afternoon, instead of working on tasks You had given me, I taught them that it's OK to do as you please instead of pleasing YOU!  I taught them that while kids are accountable to grown-ups to get their list done, grown-ups can do whatever they want, and are accountable to no one.  When I let them get away with undone, or poorly done chores tonight, I taught them that when Mom's tired, they din't really have to do what she says, and I taught them that their less-than-best-effort is acceptable.  And as I rushed around trying to do too much, while again letting them do too little I taught them to be served instead of to serve, and to count on someone else to do what you can do for yourself.

As I think about it, I'm afraid there are lots of other things I taught them today, things that I'd really rather not mention.  So Lord, I'm still not sure why You are letting me do this whole homeschooling thing.  It seems some days like I am doing a pretty bad job at it.  But I'm really grateful that You see the value in homeschooling me.  And hopefully, as I learn the things You are trying to teach me, the kids will learn from You too.

Love, Lisa

Even though we were "doing school" before Christmas, I think we have all been on vacation since the beginning of November.  Today we started back.  I expected lots of complaining--when we got up two hours earlier, when we had morning chores to do right away, when we had to face the assignment list, when we didn't get to watch TV or play games.  I was pleasantly surprised.  The Lord sent us a special blessing to ease the transition. Today I began watching a two-month-old baby.  She is precious, and it was a delight to see my rough and tumble boys being so gentle and sweet with her.  I have forgotten so much of what it is like to have an infant around.  At first this morning I was afraid I would end up very frustrated with the course of the day, but it all worked out, and we managed just fine.  I found myself grateful to be home, and to have the boys home.  And I realized, they will be getting a "class" the next five months that wouldn't be offered in school.  They are learning a little about being Daddies.  One more reason why I homeschool.