SING LIKE NOBODY'S LISTENING......

Mar. 12, 2007

MY BRAIN HURTS!!!!!!!!!!

uhhhhhhhhh I'm soooooo confused...

okay so there's this girl that I know who was SO against dating, was adamant that she wasn't going to date until she was much much older, and would give us this whole lecture thing on boys.

Guess what? She has a boyfriend. Quote: "It's all about God, there's no physical aspect at all!" *snorts* yeah right. I was at youth group and she and her boyfriend were there. two of my friends and I were hanging out on the church playground, and we were kind of screened by trees, so when this girl comes out with her boyfriend, they don't really see us. what are they doing? Holding hands and Snuggling up to each other. Ha. the "No physical aspect" has turned into "We're hanging all over each other". It makes me mad, because I looked up to her. I might be overreacting, but it really confuses the heck outta me and makes me steaming!!!

Let me explain a little about myself.
I have always liked boys and have had my heart broken many, many times. Finally I gave that all up and started dressing modestly, not dating, and commiting myself to staying pure.

Then I moved 100 miles away from my old city into bubble bubble burg, and i have pretty much NO ONE who is commited to absolute modesty and no dating until we're older, if at all. I feel so alone. Up here, they all are saying, "I can't live without abrcrombie and fitch or hollister." "I can't live without Tivo." "I can't live if I don't get the latest styles." It's against my principles to go into those types of stores. It's making me sick!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kelsey and one or two other gal friends were the only ones committed like I was. Kelsey was the oldest one. I was the second oldest, and so looked up to her.

Now she's gone, I guess, caught up in her boyfriend and school. I don't feel like I have anyone older who I can talk to (my mom really doesn't count in this cause it's kind of hard to talk to her about boys).

I also feel so inadequite and unbeautiful. I have good hygene, actually make an effort to be clean and presentable. I wear sensible jeans, large sweaters, and I have a huge white t-shirt collection. I don't feel comfortable in any tight fitting clothes, so my t-shirts are what I prefer.

Yet, I'm just a friend to everyone. guys tell me all the time: "I'm so glad that we're just friends. It's so refereshing to have a girl who isn't throwing herself all over me."

thing is... I DON"T WANT TO BE JUST A FRIEND!!!! The guy I have liked for about seven months now said that to me a few days ago and I got so depressed. They all come to me for advice (about girls), talk to me concerning their problems (with girls), and in general think of me as the tomboy I used to be. It's killing me, here! Sure, i used to be a tomboy, but somehow that's changed and I'm now starting to get into makeup and stuff. but no guy notices. barely ANYONE notices except for a few close friends. :(

okay, okay, enough whining. but tell me, am I wrong in my thinking? comment, please!!! I need help!!!!

~Coco the confused~

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Comments

Mar. 12, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by learnmylingo

Aww... I totally understand where you're coming from! And I might understand where your friend is, too...

See, at the end of 2005 there was this guy who started hanging all over me. I didn't like him at all, and couldn't get him to leave me alone. So finally at the beginning of '06, I started to tell everyone that I wasn't gonna date until I was eighteen. Honestly, that was a lie. And I knew it. But at the time I felt like it was the only thing I could do to get this guy to back off. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that lying was right. It was definately wrong.

I'm just saying, I dunno... try not to judge her because of this. I understand maybe it's hypocritical of her, and you think it's unfair, but maybe there's more going on with her than you know.

And about feeling unbeautiful: You aren't! Because you've been created in God's image, and he is beautiful, and He loves you!

I wish I could write more... but my mom wants me off.

-Erin

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Mar. 13, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Chris

hey i read it all and i'm still awake. i have a few thoughts.

it is great that u r standing up for what u belive in (even if i don't agree with u).

a guy prob likes u. guys r like girls and i've had a crush on just about every girl my age at church. the prob is finding out who that is, and then liking them back. i'm sure that a guy will come along. i truly belive there is someone for everyone.

so yeah. i am done rambling.
rn

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Mar. 13, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

Hey gurl! If you think that you are all alone, well, you're not. I have commited myself to not dating until I'm ready for marriage and until I find the one who I probably will marry.

One of my best friends recently got a boyfriend and she's been talking about how great it is, how much they love each other and all that. She's been telling me that she would hook me up with someone if I wanted her to and I've said no every time. She respects that and hasn't done anything, but she thinks that I don't want one. But the truth is, I do want a boyfriend. That's the serious truth, I want one but I've decided to wait until God brings me the right one and right now is not the time. I get a little jealous when I see my friend and her boyfriend, and it's really hard to not start flirting with my guy friends, but I know that this is what God wants me to do.

So hang in there, you're not alone and if you feel like you want a boyfriend but you have made a commitment to not have one, even there you aren't alone. And when you feel that twinge that says, "You need a boyfriend, you need someone for you to be loved by, you need..." go to the One who loves you enough to die for you. Run into His arms, listen to what He tells you by reading His ultimate love letter to you. And hang in there, He has the perfect someone picked out for you, you just need to wait on His perfect timing.

lylas (luv ya like a sis),
~SeaChel

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Mar. 14, 2007 - Tough Stuff!

Posted by ChristsInstrument

This is my big thing! First off, let me make it clear, that I am vehement in my stand in anti-dating. Others have said they won't date till their a lot older, I will never date. Period. However, that doesn't mean I don't find guys attractive, or that I'll never get married or something! No way, I can't wait to get married to the man God has for me, to be in love, to have screaming babies in my arms that are MINE!!! It's a miracle, and I'm very excited, but I'm also only 14. Ha! Can you believe it?

Have you read 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye' by Josh Harris, and the sequel to it: 'Boy Meets Girl'? Those along with Eric and Leslie Ludy's 'When God Writes Your Love Story' are must-reads for anyone committed to God honouring guy/girl relationships. They are so encouraging and uplifting too, it's not just a big long anti-dating lecture! They're full of spiritual wisdom from people who have been through the 'dating scene'. Totally Fantastic books!

Being committed to God-honouring relationships is hard. I understand that you feel you have these 'crushes' and such, but it is so important that you see that that's not all there is. 'Hanging' with 'great people' who date, or even don't date but want to, or don't date but flirt, or don't date or flirt but still whisper about their 'crushes' etc., is not a good idea. I have separated myself from Christian youth groups for the simple reason that I don't want that around me (That and the rock music: yuck!). If I am with people from the Public School, where dating and early guy/girl relationships are encouraged and miss-used, it will rub off on me. It's a fact.

I have paid the ‘consequences’ of not having many 'friends'. It's just as well, though, I've realized that the people I thought were 'friends' really weren't, by being separated from them. I've become better-rounded, being around adults (my parents and people at church!) and I'm able to think for myself better, not having tons of peers around. I now have one non-family member friend, who lives very far away, and I don't mean God! (but he is such a life-giver!!!) If you need a friend who shares your values and commitments, and you need someone to talk to about life, if you really need a friend here on earth, pray. (and talk to God about it in the mean time!) Don't expect God to drop a friend out of thin air. I prayed for over a year, and got what I thought was an answer, and really was just a filler to go for a bike ride with while I waited for God's perfect timing. Meanwhile, I was corresponding with another young lady, and it has turned into the most fulfilling relationship ever. It took time, but God has worked in mighty ways, and while it wasn't what I expected (Some Christians to move in next door with a 14-year-old daughter who was Home Schooled); I got something better than I could have ever dreamed (A friend that actually cares!) She's two years older, and lives far away, but we have a better friendship than any next-door neighbours!!! The time in between while waiting, was a huge spiritual growth time for me, learning that I can actually cope on my own without people my own age around me all the time! What a blessing!

What I’m saying is that you need to get away from the people who think like that, pray, talk to God about it, and continue in the direction you’re headed. When you begin to have a ‘crush’, ask God to help you deal with those emotions that they wouldn’t interfere with life. I do, and he does! Pray for guidance, and help. When you are ready, God will send the man you were meant for. He will orchestrate your lives, and it will all fit together like a perfect puzzle. He loves you, Coco, and he wants the best for you!
I’m praying for you!!!!!!!!
God bless,
Sheila

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Mar. 23, 2007 - You make my brain hurt!!!!

Posted by leopardlover

Girl, you've shared this and more with me and I feel like it's my purpose right now. Before you moved here I was settling into a boring lifestyle and not even caring. My life consisted of eating, sleeping, schoolwork, church, hanging out with friends, and worrying about mostly about myself. In comes Alyssa, the girl with a totally new veiw. I began to see that my petty problems are nothing compared to what other people go through on a daily basis!!!!! You shared your innermost thoughts and feelings with me and we shared tears. We had lots of things in common, and we soon realized that. you told me of your heartaches and your joyous times. About your trials and blessings, and life ceased to be boring!!!! One of my spiritual gifts is encouragement, and you gave me someone to encourage!!!!!! You have people in your life who really care about you. You're very close friends with me and a few other people(wink wink), and you have been blessed with a wonderful family. 40 dollars saved your life and you shine light on those around you. You're beautiful(embrace the freckles), and lovable. You don't need a boyfriend(two more years, Jonathan), and you love Pirates of the Caribbean!!!!! What more could you ask for!!!! I know Kelsey let you down, and for sure other people will too, but God won't. Exit those nasty pop-ups(you know which ones) and that's another battle won!!!!! Keep me posted and always feel free to call me. I'll do my absolout best to always be there for you.

LYLAS!!!!!!

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About Me

This blog is all about me, my singing, my life as a homschooler, and my God. It's got a little bit of everything, so read away!!! My other blog (the one that I use more often) is homeschoolblogger.com/gemstone. Come visit me there! Oh, and by the way... Jesus Freaking Rocks!!! ~Cocobabe~