Here is the last installment of my Utterly useless facts....but interesting none the less.  In case you missed it, you can read part 1 and part 2.    These are just some fun facts that a buddy of mine emailed me.  I thought everyone could use something fun to read over their morning coffee. 

If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
                                 
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors
                
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

The cruise liner, QE 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The microwave    was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.   (Good thing he did that.)

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

There are more chickens than people in the world. (Dude, if they ever unite we are in deep trouble! I guess we should eat more chickin’)

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
                     
Now you know more than you did before!!

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Here are some more fun facts to enjoy with your morning coffee.  Part 1 from earlier in the week is here.

TYPEWRITER    is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.   (All you typists are going to test this out)

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.    

A goldfish    has a memory span of three seconds. (Some days that's about what my memory span is.)

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail  can sleep for three years.  (I know some people that could do this too.!)

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that also)

Babies are born without kneecaps.  They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.  

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.  

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.                                               

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Stewardesses"   is the longest word typed with only the left hand ..

And "lollipop" is the longest word typed with your right hand.  (Bet you tried this out mentally, didn't you?)

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".? (Are you doubting this?)

Our eyes  are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears  never stop growing.
                      
The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.  (Now, you KNOW you're going to try this out for accuracy, right?)

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I hope everyone had a better summer than I did.

Thank you all of you for your wonderful prayers and emails. I really appreciate them.  I also appreciate the meals people brought us to keep my family fed.  We had someone bring us a bucket of chicken from a fast food place. They apologized explaining that since VBS was going on, no one had time to do a home cooked meal and so everyone in the Sunday School class took up money to get us a meal.  I explained that we have home cooked meals all of the time (we even make our own butter) and a fast food restaurant meal was a real treat for our family. 

I have a lot of stuff to post in the coming weeks to gear up for the new school year. Of course, many of you are already in the full swing of things. I WAS ordered to sit on the couch and do nothing. I will be back to posting on a regular basis in August.  I am trying to relax and take it easy for the next two weeks.  I am having to clean out the old school stuff to get ready for the new school stuff a little at a time.     Anyway, I am glad to be back! 

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The drama  continues.  If you are not up to date here is part 1 & part 2

The good news: Mrs. Dani's foot seems to be healed. The MRI confirmed this was possibly just an infection from the bowl that broke and cut her foot.  She is off of crutches.

The bad news:  

We have found out the hard way that she is allergic to sulfa drugs.  She had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics and  developed a nice rash on her thighs and back, have been shaking and had her heart racing quite a bit which was due to an elevated blood pressure of 126/106 which is actually worse than it sounds for her because 80, which is a generally good bottom number for most people is actually high for her under normal circumstances.  she was also sporting a really pounding headache due, we believe, to the blood pressure.  She was also nauseated beyond belief and searing heartburn and a small fever to boot.  Yesterday morning she made it to the living room and laid down on the floor with the kids with her head tilted into a bucket dry heaving  she  was not able to move for about an hour and a half. Her 8 year old called her parents who raced over to get her to the ER.  

They gave her a shot of steroids to help speed up the body’s healing against the sulfa antibiotic and shot of something else to help with the nausea. So now she is on two separate drugs to help counteract the one drug which was actually a replacement for another one that was decided was unnecessary plus something else no one seems to know what it was for.   

But the worse is yet to come.  She can have NO caffeinated drinks.   NO COFFEE!!! Doctors are sadistic.  Apparently the caffeine will aid in her dehydration.  Oh, I forgot to mention that.  She was also dehydrated. 

She is in good spirits and seeming to feel better this morn. So that is good news. She hopes to be back posting in a week or so. 

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If are not up to date as to what has been going on, click here Wed. night, Mrs. Dani had to be rushed to the hospital. Her foot swelled up to twice its size and was very hot to the touch, plus she had a fever. Her Hubby made her go. ( for those of you who do not know, Mrs. Dani hates hospitals)  They must have thought it was quite serious because even though they had a sign that said the wait was 2 hours, they had her with a doctor in about 15 min.  ahead of a lot of other people.

We are awaiting the results of the MRI & bloodwork. The doctors are at a complete loss at to what this is. They put her on antibiotics (800 mg pills four times a day) in the hope that if it is an infection, this will cure it up. 

She is still in a lot of pain but doing much better.  She is, however, a lousy patient.  She can't stand having people wait on her or having the house a mess.  We are getting ready to superglue her rear to the couch or bed. 

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I have not posted in a while so I thought I should let everyone know what is going up.

Hello everyone. I thought I should give everyone an update while the medicine has worn off and I can think a little straighter. The darveset has muddled my thinking so if this email sounds weird, it is just doped up Mrs. Dani.

For those of you who do not know.  I am in pain. Sunday after decorating at the church for VBS, I went to visit my dad, on the way home my right foot started hurting. I thought it was just because I was on my feet since 6 am that morning. While doing the dishes and laundry it started hurting bad as a cramp. It felt ok by bedtime. At 1 am I woke up crying out in pain. I have never had pain like this in my life. I have given birth without epidurals or pain medication, had teeth pulled without drugs and I swear this hurts worse.  No matter how I put my foot I am in extreme pain.

Hubby took me to see my Doc who happened to not be in. the stand in had not idea so she decided to do a ridiculous blood test and give me dope.  Tues we went to anther doctor that the hubby knows. He got us in during his lunch break.  He said he was totally confused about this.  The foot is not swollen, not discolored, I have no fever and the x-ray shows no break or anything, plus I have had no injury to the foot.  They have scheduled and MRI for Thur. Until then, the hubby is forcing me to take the pain medication.  I hate that stuff.  it makes me loopy. Just what the world needs, a doped up Mrs. Dani. 

Anyway, I have alerted Brenda that I do not think I will be able to do VBS. If anyone can help Pam, I would appreciate it.  I also need someone to pick up the VBS stuff. I have downloaded and printed and cut out everything you will need. And the room is half decorated. 

I am also having to cancel going to the SC  Homeschool convention this weekend. Missing both is breaking my heat. I was so looking forward to both.  If anyone going to the convention that lives near me, could you please come by and pick up the donations for the abused children’s’ packets that the teens are putting together (my mother and several ladies of my church gathered these) and several boxes of educational material for the single mothers’ fund that my sister-in-law and I gathered from other homeschooling mothers. I would appreciate it. I really want these to get to get to the convention. 

Thank you all and please be in prayer for me. I am not accustomed to lying around and doing nothing. I can not even get myself a cup of coffee.  The pain is never ending. It is constant and spikes every few minuets.  I can not walk on my foot at all the pain is excruciating. I am miserable to say the least. 

I love all of you and will be thinking about you during the convention and VBS. 

Since this posting: several people have thankfully stepped up and have taken over the VBS teaching & someone has soo graciously said she would take the donations to the SC Homeschool convention.  Thank you to all.

As for me, I am still in pain & now the foot is swelling.

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I do not know about you but I am looking forward for some time off this weekend.......too bad I am not getting it.  We will be going to see some friends, I will be sewing costumes for a ballet recital, getting things ready for VBS, not to mention getting ready for our end of the year AWANA awards banquet,  and something else.  Whew!

I will be taking a break from blogging until about Tues.  I hope also to have a Sourdough bread recipe for the bread machine to share with you by then.  Anyway, everyone have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend and remember to stop at least once on Monday and remember the brave souls who gave their lives so that we are free to do what we are doing now. 

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The people who survived raising my siblings and myself are celebrating 60 years of marriage together today.  These two incredible examples to us all have weathered the Great Depression, WWII, traveling the country, watching their children be born and eventually called home by the Lord, they have rejoiced at Weddings and births, and mourned at funerals, gained a great deal of gray hair raising their Grandchildren and wept with untold joy at the birth of their Great-Grandchildren.

I thought I would share each of their secrets for a long and happy marriage.  

First, from my Grandmother: Never criticize your husband in public, not even around good friends; wait until you get in private to tell him he sounds like the biggest horse’s butt on the planet.

Next, from my Grandfather who took my husband aside and told him this before I walked down the isle.  No matter what, any time she asks you whether you like a new paint color, dress, curtains, I do not care what it is you answer, “If it makes you happy dear, it tickles the crap out of me.”

 If I can make it just half the time they did, I will truly be a blessed woman.  

Happy 60th Anniversary

Granmother & Gran  !!!!

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I have some really great Prince Caspian links for all of you fans out there.

The first, even if you are not a fan of the movie, is an incredibly breathtaking 3-D interactive map of Narnia.  This thing is just really cool. You can click on certain spots and you fly there across the terrain of Narnia.  The link is here.  Hint: the weird looking circle on the bottom of the map to the right of the middle is a magnifying glass. Just click on it with your mouse and move across the map.

The next is two different games: Gryphon Attack and Castle Escape from Miraz's castle.

Now the last link I have for you is just really neat.  You can upload a picture of your self and see what you would look like as a Narnian Creature: Giant, Faun, Dwarf or Centaur.  I would like to see myself as a size 2, but I digress.  The link is here.

And of course there is the official website at the Offical Chronicles of Narnia Prince Caspian Movie Site.

I have not had a chance, or the money, to see the movie but I heard it is incredible.  My question for those of you who have seen it, does it follow the book?

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Someone sent me this but I also saw it once on another site.  If it was yours, please leave a link back to your site in the comments sections. Thanks

An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard.  I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home.
He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep in a corner.

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back, resumed his position in the hall, and slept for an hour.

This continued for several weeks.
Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: 'Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.'
The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar:
'He lives in a home with ten children
-- he's trying to catch up on his sleep.
Can I come with him tomorrow?'

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1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up

2. Grandchildren are God's reward
for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why
some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you.
In fact, they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
is to remind yourself that there are children
more awful than your own

6. We childproofed our homes,
but they are still getting in

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Anyway, the link is here.  If you click the manic mode box at the bottom, they will pop as you move your mouse over them.  Have fun! 

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You may or may not remember that I told you about the new Veggie Tales movie, The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything, back in January, my review is here.  I also told you about a new contest that Big Idea was doing to promote the movie. 

Well, to be honest I forgot all about the contest until UPS showed up on MY doorstep yesterday with the fourth prize!!!!  Yep, I won!!  I couldn’t believe it! My kids are ecstatic!! That thing is around $29! I even got a letter from Bob congradulating me!....ok, ok, a letter with Bob's picture on it...but a letter none the less.   I love Bob.

Wow! This thing really is neat. I can not wait until the DVD comes out on Oct. 8!!! I am saving up spare change to buy it.

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Wow, I am overloading ya'll today.  Three posts in one day!  Whew!  Here is the second contest I have come across today.

Over at Our Family Highlights, they are doing a give away of a new, unopened copy of the message,"Home Is Where The Heart Is" by Susan Bradrick and her daughters. This is from Vision Forum, a company I highly respect and have done buisness with in the past.  I have a link to thier company on the left.

Description from the CD case:

Little is more crucial to the family and society today than for mothers to catch a vision for the beauty of Biblical womanhood and to pass the love of it on to their daughters. And little is more challenged, attacked, and scorned in our culture. From the unique position of having trained five daughters- from infancy to adulthood- to cherish being keepers at home, Mrs. Bradrick shares her own delight in being a wife, mother & home keeper and the wisdom she has learned from God's word on this vital subject. During the session, her four daughters at home also give testimony to God's work in their lives in this area

If this sounds like something you might like (it does to me) go on over to Our Family Highlights, post is here, and enter. Good luck!

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We have been looking at this for several years now but just did not have the resources to get it.  I have been told this is the absolute best way to learn a forgien language and from what I have seen, I believe it.  This is being offered by Jeneric Jeneralities who is a rep for the Rosetta Stone.  It is easy to enter.  All you have to do is add the post in blue to your blog like I am about to do.  Ready? Wish me luck! Here we go:

Rosetta Stone has been the #1 foreign language curriculum among homeschoolers for a while -- next week they are unleashing a brand new curriculum, and you can WIN the *all new* Rosetta Stone Homeschool Version 3… FOR FREE! 

This is a $219 program (and believe me it's worth every penny!) and the winner gets to pick from any of these 14 languages: Spanish (Spain or Latin America), English (American or British), Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, French, German, Italian, Portuguese, Irish, Hebrew, or Russian.

This will also include a headset with microphone, and students will participate in lifelike conversations and actually produce language to advance through the program.  Rosetta Stone still incorporates listening, reading and writing as well, in addition to speaking.  Many homeschoolers requested grammar and vocabulary exercises, and with Rosetta Stone Homeschool Version 3, they're included!  For parents, the new Parent Administrative Tools are integrated into the program and allow parents to easily enroll students in any of 12 predetermined lesson plans, monitor student progress, and view and print reports. 

To win this most excellent program -- in the language of your choice -- copy these (blue) paragraphs and post it in (or as) your next blog post -- then to enter the contest, go to the original contest page HERE: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/JenIG/501132/  and leave a comment with the link showing where you blogged about it.  And please make sure the link works to get back to the original contest page when you post it.  And good luck!  The winner will be picked randomly on March 26, and will be notified thru the link they left to their blog pg.   And if you have more than one blog, you can post them and enter those separately for more chances to win.   Yay for free stuff!

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  In Loving Memory of my dear Aunt Thelma who went home to be with the Lord this very afternoon.  This poem has always brought me comfort. I hope it does the same for someone out there. 

God hath not promised;

Skies always blue,

Flower-strewn pathways

All our lives through;

God hath not promise

Sun without rain,

Joy without sorrow,

Peace without pain.

But God hath promised

Strength for the day,

Rest for the labor

Light for the way.

Grace for the trials,

Help from above,

Unfailing sympathy

Undying love….

And God shall wipe away all tears

From their eyes…..Rev. 21:4

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Thanks to my buddy, Cynthia,  who sent me this.  Of course, you all know from my post here that I do not forward chain emails. 

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I guess I do not love Jesus. 

I am ashamed of Gospel

Two of my friends have drowned in bathtubs.

Five have died in freak car accidents.

I do not care about the kids starving in China.

I obviously do not care about the people who send me letters.

I, myself, have suffered three heart attacks, two strokes, been bitten by a host of poisonous creatures, been in two plane accidents, failed a host of tests, have not acquired any wealth, and I do not have a clear complexion.

In case you have not figured it out; I do not forward chain emails.  I love all of you and I love my friends and I adore my family (well, most of them. The others I just love)  but I do not do chain emails.  Be grateful I have found the time to even read them.

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A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. 

 For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me."  

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.

I apologize for this dark sense of humor.  I actually posted this for my own family members.  My family use to own a funeral parlor many years ago; which may explain our dark sense of humor.  A story my Grandfather has told us many times was about the time he was driving an ambulance with his father.  You see, sixty years ago, if you needed an ambulance you did not call the hospital or 911; you called the funeral home.  Yeah, a little on the creepy side.  So whether you were dead or about to be there, you called the same place.  Anyway, the funeral home got a call that there was a multiple accident and they needed at least two ambulances.  My Grandfather went on ahead. On the way he got in an accident.  So on the way to the original accident my Great-Grandfather had to actually stop and take his own son to the hospital.  He use to laugh about that.  What we want to know is what did Great-Grandma say when she found out?

.  I also wonder if they ever sent a hearse instead of an ambulance.  Grandfather will not answer that question.  A wry smile appears on his face when we ask and we can only but imagine what that story is. Hope you enjoyed this dark look into my family.

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"A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take away everything you have."

Gerald Ford

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 During the procedure the local anesthesia started to wear out.  He was all upset.  I told him it was not unbearable and just to go ahead and get it done, I would tell him when it hurt too badly.  Really it was more the pressure of him trying to get a grip on the tooth than the pain that bothered me.  I think it was a good thing he wasn’t a Baptist because I think he needed a drink afterwards.  Poor guy.

Anyhow, how did this turn into the best vacation I ever had?  Let me tell you the answer I gave my dentist about how it was going when I came back for my checkup. 

“I am doing great!!! It was the best vacation I ever had!  I had family come and take my kids to their all of their activities, I had friends who came and cleaned my house,  I had my husband take care of the kids and other people came and took over my church and volunteer work.  I was free just to lay back and relax, listen to the radio, read a book, watch TV or do what ever I wanted!!!  It was the best vacation I ever had!!!!  Is there anyway I could have some teeth pulled about this time next year?”

I don’t think that poor man has recovered yet.

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YEAH!!!!!! I am 36 years old.  Yes, I will tell you my age.  I am not ashamed of how many years I have survived upon this planet.  (It is better than one of my siblings who was 25 for about 6 years and 29 for 3)

Today marks the lunar New Year. It's the Year of the Rat. Those born in the Year of the Rat are imaginative, charming and generous to those they love. Gung Hay Fat Choy!

While I am not too sure I like being associated with a rat.....mmmm.......still I think I am quite imaginative.

So what am I going to do on my birthday? Clean the kitchen counters, do a load of towels, and conduct class. 

My eldest has already tried to get out of it.  On their birthdays, that child does not have to do schoolwork.  So of course, this morning I get the,"Mommy since it is your birthday, don't you think you should have the day off."  Yeah, my kids are smart. 

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 Unless you are from the south, live near a couple of rednecks, or are like me an adopted southerner, you may not get the full comic value of any of these.

 PHONES IN CHURCH

A man in Topeka , Kansas decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco and started working east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes.

He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign, which read "Calls: $100 a minute." Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to GOD.

The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Seattle , Denver , St. Louis , Chicago , Milwaukee, and around the United States, he found more phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor.

Finally, he arrived in Mississippi , upon entering a church in Oxford, Ms. , behold - he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read "Calls: 35 cents."

Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor, "Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to GOD, but in the other churches the cost was $100 a minute. Your sign reads only 35 cents a call. Why?"

I love this part.............................

The pastor, smiling benignly, replied, "Son, you're in the South now. You're in God's Country, It's a local call."

American by Birth - A Southerner by the Grace of God

More Southern Humor can be found at

Things I have learned from friends & relatives in SC

What would a Southerner do?

A letter from Santa to the South

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Thanks to my buddy Lisa for sending me this.

 Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that
even God's omnipotence did not extend
to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was

" DON'T !"
"Don't what ? "
Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit."
God said.

"Forbidden fruit ?
We have forbidden fruit ?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit ! "

" No Way ! "
"Yes way ! "

"Do NOT eat the fruit ! "
said God.

"Why ? "

"Because I am your Father and I said so ! "
God replied,
wondering why He hadn't stopped
creation after making the elephants

A few minutes later,
God saw His children having a fruit break

and He was ticked !
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit ? "
God asked.

"Uh huh,"
Adam replied.

"Then why did you ? "
said the Father.

"I don't know,"
said Eve.
"She started it ! "
Adam said.

"Did not ! "
"Did too ! "
"DID NOT ! "

Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

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You would have thought the bitter nail polish or painting my nails with tabasco sauce would have worked! Nope. 

Taking me to a beauty parlor while I was in High School to get fake nails should have done the trick.  Surprisingly, for a teenager, no.

How about buying me an expensive nail care kit with nail polish.  Nada!

Hey. I bet this would work! Having a baby and changing dirty diapers and then not cleaning your hands good enough!  Ok, everyone go ahead with the collective eeeeewwwwwww!  Most amazingly and disgustinly, even this did not work. 

What worked?

Well, I do not know.  I decided about the first week of December that my hands looked dreadful.  So I bought a bottle of the quick drying nail polish in pale pink ( I do not have the time to wait for polish to dry)  and started painting my nails once a week.  I just did it (please no one tell Nike I said this.  I do not need a law suit)  I really do not have an answer for you.

The only downside, according to my angels, is that I forget I have nails and I have scratched them a few times on their heads and necks as I am doing their hair.  I am also having a tough time typing… thy[eay seem to get in the way now.  I am aa not use to them andnb they slid offt the akeys and hit other letetters. 

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So, I took them to the back room where I store my pans (I inherited over 100 of them from and Aunt)  It was then that I realized I had to reorganize the pans in the boxes to get the pans from the art cabinet in them.  So down came the rubbermaid conainters.  I took several of the pans out when I found that some were dirty and needed cleaning. 

So, I took them to the kitchen.  As I started to put them on the counter, I remember that I had promised the husband that I would make him a special sugar-free pie.  I take out the flour and crisco and the baking supplies to make the crust.  So after flouring up the counter and putting the crust in the oven, I see that I am out of kitchen towels.  So I head for the bathroom to gather up the towels to do a load.  As I am sorting the laundry, I realize that we must be out of underwear because there is soooo much in the basket.  Well, that load of laundry takes presidence over towels anyday.

So, I head back to the laundry room only to discover, I can not get to the machine due to all of the pans being out.  I dump the clothes on the floor when I hear a small voice from the bathroom, “Mommy, I pooped. I need help.”    I head BACK to the bathroom and after helping it is then that I realize how dirty the toilet is. 

So, I run back to the kitchen and grab the cleaning bucket that holds all of my supplies.   I clean it and as I am washing my hands, I see the sink is dirty.  So I start to clean the bathroom.  As I finish the sink I turn around to do the shower when I noticed the pile of clothes on the floor.  Oh yeah, the underwear!!!!

So, I head back to the back room.  Oh, yeah, the pans.  I figure there is no need to go through the hassle of putting the pans up when I would just have to take them down again and that ladder feels a little shaky to me anyhow.  So I take the pans off the machine and put them on the floor.  Boy, the floor sure could use a vaccumming.  NO!!! NO vaccuming this week.  Back to the clothes.  I can not get close to the machine without leaning over stuff on my tippie toes.  I get the underwear in and pour in the detergent, praying I am not adding too much.  Ok, underwear down, now back to the kitchen to get the pans clean so I can put them all away.  I get to the kitchen, with counters still covered in flour, and start to clean the pans when I realize the sink is really dirty.  Now, where is the comet?  Oh, yeah, bathroom. 

So, I head back to the bathroom to get the cleaning supplies and I almost trip over the pile of towels left on the flour.  As I am putting those back into the dirty clothes basket, sniff……what is that burning smell???   Arg!  I forgot the pie crust! 

I head back to the kitchen and get the crust out; a little more browned than I like, but still edible.  I go to put it up on a cooling rack when I see the counter is till covered in flour from the making of the crust.  I go to grab the cleaner… yep…  it is still in the bathroom.  I go back to the bathroom to grab the cleaner (that is when I decide the shower is really not that bad)  and return to the kitchen to clean the counter.  Ok, counter clean and pie is cooling on the rack.  I go to scrub the sink but see it is full of dirty dishes.  Where the blazes did those come from?  Ok, into the dish washer…..which is full of clean dishes.   So I put away half of the dishes when the phone rings.

“Who am I going to vote for?  Dude the election is over 8 months away.  I am not sure what we are having for dinner!”   

Dinner! Crap, I forgot to defrost the chicken.  Looks like cereal tonight!   Thank you Toucan Sam.  Back to putting the dirty dishes away.  It is when I am done that I realized I hadn’t finished putting the clean ones away fully. Oh,well, I am sure whatever was clean could use a second cleaning anyway. 

Ok, sink cleaned, pans cleaned and drying. Trying to finish cleaning the kitchen when I hear one of the kids calling, “Mommy, I need some clean underwear!”  Oh, yeah, I forgot to put them in the dryer.  So, I go to the back room.  The pans!  I throw them back into the boxes and put back onto the shelves.  Underwear in the dryer, tell whinning kid that in some countries they do not wear underwear so we are pretending to live like them.  (Not sure which, but I am sure the country exists.) 

Head back to kitchen; not sure why but I am sure I am needed there.  Notice empty pie crust; get the mixer out and make filling and put in the refrigerator.  Who spilled the milk in here?  Clean that out.  Ok, the pans I had to clean in the first place, they get shoved into the art cabinet because I do not feel like getting the boxes down again….so that is why they were there in the first place.  That is when I noticed all of the art stuff all over the floor.  Oh, yeah, the art stuff.  I desperatly need a cup of coffee about this time so I head back to the kitchen.  So, I sit down to enjoy my cup of coffee when my husband comes in and demands to know why the dining room table and floor are covered in art supplies.

The look I gave him made him think it might not be a good thing to have a wife who can unlock the gun safe and load a gun in 10 seconds flat and who has been told she is a good shot. 

And THIS is why it was longer than I expected before I was able to get back to updating my site, this is also why I am never in bed before midnight.