Hello, my blog friends!

I know it has been a while.  I have enjoyed a short summer break.  (We started school in July.)  I have been a very busy bee!  Here is what I have been doing and what some of my plans are:

1.  I have gotten back into my CRAZY couponing.  Yes, I do coupons... but I don't just do a coupon here or there.  I save BIG and have hundreds of coupons.  So, I want to be able to share some tips and progress with you.  I will be starting a money saving section on my Homeschool TV blog.  If you want to see my tips and trick, and keep up with my savings you need to join the mailing list.

2.  I have been Facebooking.  I have figured out that it is easier to keep my friends and family updated on Facebook than it is here on Homeschool blogger.  I will not be maintaining our family site on Homeschool Blogger anymore.  I will still keep my homeschooling blog, but I am going to combine my  Considering Courtship blog to the homeschooling blog too.  (So this is the official farewell to this site.)  I think condensing all this down will save me tons of time!

3.  School has already been going for 3 weeks for us.  It has went well... a few snags, but nothing we couldn't adjust to.  If you want to keep up with us... again... join the mailing list at Homeschool TV.

4.  I still plan on writing more in The Castle and the King but I really have not been in the mood to add more to it.  I am not going to force it.  So just keep your eyes open.

I hope you all have a great school year.  Please stop by and say hello!

Immodesty girls... that is how my daughter has labeled girls who do not cover up enough skin on their bodies.

A friend recently took my five year old daughter to her daughters' dance recital.  Her daughters take ballet lessons.  My friend was very impressed with the costumes that had been chosen for the recital.  They were modest and feminine.  While at the recital, my friend and my daughter got a surprise.  Another dance company was invited to share the recital stage.  Their performances were intermingled between the original dance group's performances.

It would not have been a big deal, but one of the performances was... belly dancing.  Yes, the art of sensuality and seduction set to music was there.  How did my daughter react?  She proclaimed to my friend that those were "immodesty girls!"

Why did I tell you all of that?  As homeschooling parents, we can protect our children from much of what goes on in their world.  It is a good thing to protect them when they are young and impressionable... when they have not yet developed personal conviction and commitment.  But there will always be times when the unexpected happens.  You cannot protect them from everything.

Do not fear it.  It is an opportunity for their character to be tested.  It is a chance for them to show their own commitment to biblical principles and guidelines.  It is an opportunity for them to learn from situations and maybe even their mistakes.

I was very pleased to hear that my daughter did not envy those girls, but instead she was saddened by their lack of discretion.  I also learned to be more cautious with dance recitals!  LOL!

May I just speak from the heart in this blog post?  I am broken hearted, and I am discouraged tonight.

Have you ever watched a movie or read a book where the hero is trying to protect someone... the odds are stacked up against him... They are surrounded, but the hero turns and encourages the other person not to give up... only to discover that the person they were trying to protect had chosen to join forces with the enemy?  The hero was willing to risk all, to give every ounce of energy for this person, and yet the person threw it all away.   Do you remember the look on the hero's face when they realized the person they had trusted... the person they had such high hopes and dreams for... the person they were fighting for had chosen the wrong path?  Yeah... that's how I feel right now.

Honestly, counseling people in God's Word is the toughest thing I do.  Homeschooling is a breeze and keeping a clean house is not anything compared to how taxing counseling people can be.  I can very much understand how Jeremiah must have felt when he preached and no one would listen.  I can imagine how Noah must have felt after preaching 120 years and no one but his own family entered the ark.  Yet they kept on preaching.  They kept preaching because they loved their God and they loved people.

I guess that is what keeps me going.  It is hard when I counsel teen after teen who says they want to follow God, but then they choose very unbiblical paths for their life... obvious sins that the Bible is very direct about.  It is tough when married couple after married couple just say they do not want to try anymore even if they know that what they have been told is straight from scripture... they want a happy and loving marriage, but they just are not interested in doing what it takes to have one.  They want a quick fix, but once they realize it takes work... they are not interested.

I wish that I could say that my ministry to people has seen many salvations.  I wish that I could say that I had teen after teen commit their hearts and lives fully to the Lord.  I wish that I could say that young people I counseled years ago are now in church and serving the Lord faithfully.  I wish that I could say that couple after couple have reunited or chosen to stay married because of biblical counsel I took part in giving.

I have examined the counsel I give, thinking maybe I am doing something wrong.  I have thought in the past, "Maybe it is me."  But I have come to understand that it isn't me they are rejecting.  It is the Lord they are rejecting.  It is His Word that they are rejecting.  And that saddens me more than anything.  There is a reason scripture talks about  the way being narrow.

Mat 7:13-14 Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.

Remember when the children of Israel decided they didn't want the Lord to rule over them directly... they wanted a king like other countries had?  Samuel tried to counsel the people to follow God.

1Sa 8:7 And the LORD said unto Samuel, Hearken unto the voice of the people in all that they say unto thee: for they have not rejected thee, but they have rejected me, that I should not reign over them.

I am saddened for families.  I am saddened for women.  I am saddened for teen girls.  What keeps me going?  Love.

Luk 7:36-47 And one of the Pharisees desired him that he would eat with him. And he went into the Pharisee's house, and sat down to meat. And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at meat in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster box of ointment, And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment. Now when the Pharisee which had bidden him saw it, he spake within himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him: for she is a sinner. And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Master, say on. There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty. And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most? Simon answered and said, I suppose that he, to whom he forgave most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged. And he turned to the woman, and said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thine house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but she hath washed my feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head. Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet. My head with oil thou didst not anoint: but this woman hath anointed my feet with ointment. Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.

I have been forgiven much...

Every now and then there is a pearl discovered.  Every now and then there are ears that hear and receive.  Every now and then there is a marriage rescued.  Every now and then I remember:

Isa 55:11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.

It is hard being just a messenger.  Sometimes I want to do the Spirit's job in people's hearts... but I have to step back and remember that changing people's hearts is His business.

I will keep giving Your Word, Lord, even if I do not get to see the fruit of it here on Earth.

Ok, so I finished Jeff McLean: His Courtship.  What did I think of it?  Hmmmm...

The book did a great job of praising integrity, good work ethic, good character traits, and modesty in action, attitude, and appearance.  That said... the story itself was so full of teaching that the story line became very dull.  I didn't really like the writing style, but there was enough good in the book to make it worth reading.  I would suggest reading it out loud and discussing it as you go through.  This might make it more meaningful and interesting.  It will also help you get through the really dry parts.

Now, what about the method of courtship presented in the book?  My hubby and I had a good talk about the courtship method presented in the book, and about how we invision the process working with our son.  Courtship seems to have many faces, but they all seem to include parents in some degree, and do not include the boyfriend/girlfriend dating scenerio.

This is more of the path we are choosing:

1.  Train son in God's Word.  Teach the sufficiency of scriptures in guiding him in every situation.

2.  Train and encourage biblical character traits as well as decerning these traits in others.

3.  Teach children to INDEPENDENTLY glorify God, AND to seek counsel from godly people.  I liked how the book presented Jeff as seeking his father's advice on important issues he was facing.  I like how it showed that Jeff was making his own decisions as a young man, but he always sought out experienced godly people to give him counsel.  The part I wasn't totally in agreement with is that after seeking his parents counsel and guidance, his parents seemed to have too much involvement in the initiation of the courtship.  Have you read The Princess and the Kiss?  Do you remember the part where the young man at the end approached the parents?  If a young man is mature enough and prepared enough to think about marriage and living on his own, I personally believe he needs to be man enough to communicated with the prospective in-laws and the young lady.  His parents are only there for counsel and biblical guidance.  If he is a wise young man, he will give great weight to his parents' counsel.  I personally would be leary of a young man who wanted to get to know our daughter who wouldn't make arrangements for meeting and hospitality but who relied on mom and dad to do it all.  That's not to say he shouldn't ask his parents permission to invite people to the house... it is still their house.

4.  Encourage friendships with godly young ladies... not RELATIONSHIPS.  As our son gets to know godly young ladies on a FRIENDSHIP only basis, he will begin to see godly character traits in a certain young woman that he is interested in getting to know better.  These friendships should be very public and "sisterly," careful to maintain modesty and appropriateness.  I was concerned in the book that it seemed as if Jeff had not had any female friends.  It seemed to me that there had been a very strict wall put up that prevented him from developing important female friendships.

5.  Teach my son to seek God's will, not perfection.  I felt like the book put too much weight on the "perfect" wife instead of focusing on a woman who was committed to following the Lord not just in deed, but in heart.  I would rather have a young lady as a daughter-in-law who was moldable in the Lord's hands, who realized she is a sinner saved by grace, and who has a tenderness toward the Lord and His Word... than to have one who keeps a perfect house, wants 10 children, who reads her Bible every morning simply because it's a habit, who attends church regularly but only out of duty...  I would rather have my son marry someone who is learning to cook, still learning to clean and keep the home, still learning to teach, but is clearly growing in the Lord and has a tender heart that listens to Him... one who is full of the Spirit and submissive to His Word... one who is quick to repent when she discovers she has done something wrong.  A woman like that can be taught the other things very easily.

Hmm... a lot to think about.  I am going to be studying more on the courtships in scripture.

It never ceases to amaze me how different boys and girls are.

I am reading Jeff McLean: His Courtship.  So far, so good!  I got it for my son, but I wanted to read it first.  Well, while I am going through it, I am making notations of any scriptures that the book reminds me of.  Maybe I'll turn that into an accompaniment guide/devotional for him.  Hmmm.....

A great deal of courtship training at a young age starts with teaching basic biblical character traits like honesty, integrity, self control, etc.  My kids are taught character qualities all through the day.

Another important part is keeping the communication lines open.  I try to show my children I care about how they feel.  I also ask questions to open up conversations.  I try to show them that they will not be judged for how they feel.

Anyway, that brings us to yesterday morning's conversation with my oldest child.  It was so sweet, but funny!

My daughter had asked me about the meaning of her devotion verse.  "Out of thine own mouth will I judge thee..."  My daughter is very young so I gave her a really concrete explanation- short and simple.  My son was listening in to the conversation.

He came to me privately and asked to talk to me.  He told me he had something to confess to me.  He said he overheard that verse.  I held my breath and put on my compassion face... I had all kinds of ideas of what he would tell me.

"Mom, when I was putting my poster on the wall, the nail fell behind my bed and I said 'dang.' "

No, I did not even giggle.  Here I was expecting the big one, and he is upset about saying that!  Now, that is not a word we use in our house, but I had to explain that the word itself was not a bad word.  We just choose not to use it because it is so close to another word.  We talked about better things to say or do when we get frustrated... silly words that make us lighten up and giggle when we really want to pitch a temper tantrum.

Wow.  My son opens up to me.  I must be doing a good job of helping him to trust me.  I was surprised when he admitted to me he thought a certain girl was pretty a few weeks ago, but I will never let him know that I was surprised.  I want him to know that he can talk to Dad and me about anything... and that coming to us for counsel is a good thing.

I want to encourage you to keep the doors open to your children's conversations.  Build relationships... rules without relationship equals rebellion.  Now, you are a parent first, and a friend second... but parents should keep an open and honest relationship with their children.  So far so good...

On my Homeschool TV blog, I have been asked to go into a little more detail about how I "get it all done," especially organization.  Let's take this a step at a time.  Organization isn't just your public world, it also relates to your private world.  This is going to take many posts.  Want to join me?

OK, let me give you a road map of where we are going.  Please do not let it overwhelm you.  We are going to take our time doing this.  The goal is to help you order your private world... your heart and mind.  While that is going on, we will be taking baby steps toward ordering your public world.  Before you know it, ordering your public world will not be so overwhelming and you will be resting in the peacefulness of an organized private world. :-)

 

So, how are we going to get there?

 

In a Christian woman's world, there are 5 priorities:

    Maturity (Relationship with Christ)

    Matrimony (Relationship with your husband)

    Motherhood (Relationship with your children)

    Making a Home (Your responsibility as a home-manager)

    Mentorship (Your ministries reaching out to others)

 

(I didn't come up with that lovely alliteration.  Choices by Mary Farrar is where it came from.  I read that book over 14 years ago, and I have never forgotten it.)

 

Right now we are focusing on Maturity.  My goal is to give you all the tools to help you on that path so that you can grow spiritually.  You need to develop godly habits that will help you, and break habits that hurt you spiritually.  Part of that growth includes learning how to constantly self-inspect.

 

Self inspection:

    Are you a five star Christian?

        Saved

        Separated

        Consecrated

        Hungry

        Burdened

 

We will not be going through this stuff in straight order, but we have to start with your inner world.  If we start with the things in your outer world, you will be overwhelmed and discouraged very quickly.  The closer you are to the Lord, the easier it will be for you to rest in Him when things get too big for you to handle.  You will learn to trust and rely fully upon Him.

Who is willing to do this with me?

The study will be on the homeschool TV Blog. Hope to see you there!

I have been working on a fiction book for quite some time.  I decided to share a couple of chapters with the readers at the Homeschool TV blog.  It was well received!  So, I started a new blog.  I will be posting a chapter at a time.  If you want to keep up with my new book, The Castle and the King, for free jump on over to The Castle and the King blog.  If you want me to add you to this mailing list, just email me and say "I'm a Castle fan!"  I'll add you to the list.  You will be automatically notified when I add a chapter.

So what does this book have to do with courtship?  Casiaq, the main character, will be confronted with issues related to courtship, character, virtue, and purity.  It is much farther along in the story.  I do not want to spoil any of it, so if you want to read along... Stop by the blog.  Yes, I am reading this to my children as I write each chapter.  My son LOVES it!!!  Yes, I will be using this book to bring up issues in a way that he can relate.

Be sure to comment each chapter.  Let me know what you think.  As long as I can tell there is interest in the book, I'll keep posting it... for free!  We will enjoy this ride one chapter at a time.

I have taught my children from a young age to practice modesty, to appreciate biblical character traits, and to learn biblical roles.  We have talked to the children about the mate God has selected for them and that they do not need to go looking for that mate... God will bring that person to them in His own good timing.  We have talked to them about prayiong for their mate.  We have told them if they want to marry a godly person, they need to learn to be the kind of people godly people would want to marry.

With our son, we have specifically taught him about being a gentleman and how to treat ladies, to use discretion, and to guard his eyes, ears, and heart from things that want to enter in that should not.  But dealing specifically with the concept of courtship... what it looks like, how he should respond to girls who say, "Will you be my boyfriend," what to think if he likes a girl, etc.  Well... we just haven't had to cross that bridge yet.  Girls were gross until recently.  But it seems that the time has come.

My son loves to read biographies.  I am sure he would love to read stories of how God placed people together through courtship.  There are TONS of materials for girls, but for boys it is a little tougher.  I had a few books suggested to me that I am considering.

Derrick's Decision, Tom's Test, and Sam the Sergeant

They are found here.  Have you read any of these?  Please keep the suggestions coming.  I am sure it will be a big help to more people than just me.

In my search for things to wear on our missions trip to a VERY modest country, I have found that durable, long skirts are just not that easy to come by.  However, I had a dear friend show me a skirt her daughter made from two pairs of jeans.  This was WAY cool!  I was so impressed.  I will definitely give this a try when things slow down a little.

Have you ever done this?  Email me a picture.  I'd love to see the finished product!

The other day, my oldest son was cleaning out the top of the hall closet.  He found the love notes my hubby and I wrote to each other when we were dating.  We kept almost every one.  He asked what they were.  I told him about how dad and I dated for three years before we got married.  Then I told him that we now know courtship is a better way than dating.  So he asked what courtship was.

I told him it was how he was going to find the girl God wanted him to marry.  I told him we would explain when he started really noticing girls a little more.  Then I asked... yes, I asked the dreaded question.

"Is there a girl that you think is pretty or one that you like?"  At first he just made ugly faces like girls were the scum on the bottom of a shoe.  Then, he smiled and said, "Well, there is one girl..."

At this point I am thinking in my head, Great... here we go.  But then I thought about it.  Here is my chance to show him that he can talk to me about these things.  And he did.  He told me he thought she was pretty and was a good Christian girl, and that he liked her because she was always choosing to do the right thing.  Not bad for an almost 10 yo boy.  The girl is allowed to have boyfriends even at her young age.

I told him maybe it was time to start talking a little bit more about courtship so he knows what to expect as he gets older, and what to be praying and preparing for even now.  I am going to order Jeff McLean: His Courtship.  Have you read it?  What do you think about it?

For now, I told him to think of dating like public school and courtship like homeschool.  Homeschooling is just better... there is no denying it!  We have seen the advantages of homeschool.  He has never asked to go to school and never shown any desire to be there.  He loves homeschool.  He loves the freedom and security.  He loves the fun stuff.  He loves being years ahead in his schooling... and winning competitions!  And he loves that we have a close family who serves the Lord.  I told him homeschool was something we were convinced the Lord wanted us to do and we have been blessed for following the Lord.  I told him courtship was something we believe the Lord wants us to do, and that if we follow the Lord and trust Him, we will see the fruits... just like homeschooling.

Do you have any other suggestions for boys?  Please take the time to share a comment.

In light of recent happenings, my hubby and I had a talk.  We came up with a plan of how we are going to introduce the "You're Growing Up" topic to our children.

We decided for their 12th birthday, the parent of the same gender will take the child on a retreat for a couple of days.  We will make it a big "coming of age" event.  While out on the trip, at the right time, the parent will introduce the topic in a biblical manor... in a gentle, safe, private, and loving environment.  (A little different setting than the public school s_ _ education class!)

Obviously for my daughter... I will have to give her a little "heads up" on one issue incase she starts a little early.  Dad will probably take the boys camping and hiking.  I will probably take my daughter to a nice hotel with a swimming pool.  We can go shopping and just relax.

So, what are your plans?  Have you thought that far ahead?  Have you already had the discussion?  How did it go?  How did you decide to bring it up?  I'd love to hear from you on this.

Great News!

Warning:  If you are ultra-feministic and hate traditional families and roles, the following will be very offensive. 

I sat down with the kids today just for fun and asked them some questions.  My son is 9 and my daughter is 5.  Enjoy!

(Yup, that's all I have the hubby around for. )

(Uh oh.  She has asked if she can marry Daddy... )

It is no secret that my husband and I are planning to go on a missions trip to a third world country, however, the location of the trip is a little secretive for security reasons.  In our preparations for the trip, we were told some very interesting information.  The culture of the country is a very modest one.  Men and women both dress very modestly.  Matter of fact, Christian women would not even be taken seriously unless they wore an ankle length skirt and a modest shirt.  What a wonderful "vacation" for the eyes!  In our country, you can walk through the grocery store and blush because of the way people are dressing to attract attention to their bodies.  But in that country...

Which leads me to the question, where do you buy your long skirts?  Now, I am not one who is against women wearing pants as long as they are modest.  I love a good fitting pair of jeans or sweat pants!  But would I be willing to give up my slacks if God were to call me to this country as a missionary?  You betchya!  After all, it is just clothing.  Shopping for my daughter has been a nightmare though!  It seems like department stores don't think any girls wear modest skirts.  My daughter LOVES nice long dresses and skirts!  It's a good thing.  I will not let her wear the short skirts.

I bought a few skirts for me from Belk for our trip, and I love them!  They are the most comfortable skirts I have ever worn, and the price was perfect.

If you have a great place to shop for long skirts for you or your daughter, fill me in.  I'd love to know!  Especially if they have good prices!

Finally!  I finished my next e-book.

My ABC's with God: A Young Child's Devotional and Activity Book

Would you like a free copy?  I am giving away one free copy on each of my blogs.  You can have a chance to get it by doing two things: 1)  Be on the blog mailing lists.  If you are on all three blogs, you have three chances to win. You can sign up for the mailing lists by emailing me the name of the blog you are signing up for.  2)  Post a comment on this blog entry stating why you would like to have a copy of My ABC's with God OR if you would prefer not to post a comment, just email me with your reason for why you would like the e-book.

My children are going to choose the winner for each blog based on your "Why."

Also, I would love your help in getting the word out about this book.  The profits from this book are going to help pay for a missions trip my husband and I will be taking in the Fall.  The country is "closed" to missionaries, so I cannot disclose the name of the country on the internet.  Tell friends, family, post it on your blog, etc.  Thanks so much!!!

We live in an immodest country.  I realize more and more every day exactly how immodest our society is.  You can't drive down the road or walk through a store without half naked men and women willingly exposing themselves to your entire family.  As a mother of two boys, this is a tough fact for me.  Boys are naturally visual.  They are easily enticed by curiosity with their eyes.

Sometimes I really worry about our oldest son.  I want to help him stay innocent as long as possible.  But it isn't easy.  I often wonder if he views me as controling, or if he really respects the guards we have established to protect his eyes.

One evening around 8 or so, my son and I had sat down to watch a perfectly innocent children's show on a public television station.  Then a commercial came on... with a woman in nothing but bright red, sleezy undergarments.  I didn't have the remote in hand to quickly change it, so I had to look for it fast!  But as I reached over to grab it, I saw my son had quickly turned his face and hid his eyes.  He knew that was something he shouldn't see.

My heart soared with encouragement.  HE turned his eyes.  HE chose not to look without even being told. It was HIS decision.  I had a moment of disappointment with myself for thinking it was safe, but a GREAT moment of celebration that my son is LISTENING!  I know I cannot always be there to protect him, but the Holy Spirit can be there.  I am just going to keep teaching God's Word, and trust that God will guide my son.  And I am going to use better discretion on the TV.

I pray that my son will learn the value of modesty.  It is so rare in America.  But women of true modesty are the most feminine and beautiful of all.  THAT is something I WANT him to see.