It's been a month since I posted a new entry! Things have been crazy here, as always. It seems everytime I sit down to write an update, there is a crisis to deal with(think three year old who decided to paint her own finger and toe nails!), diaper change, or question to answer ("Mommy, can I fly to heaven in a rocket?") So, this may be short. We'll see how far I get!

Word of The Year

My word for this year is Perseverence. So far, I've focused mainly on persevering through the issue of child rearing. (I will be branching out next month into a different area of perseverence I'm facing, so stay tuned! ) Last month, I decided I needed to find a practical way to make it easier to persevere in my discipline of the kids. I had found several pocket charts in the dollar section of Target several months ago, and grabbed them, knowing I'd put them to use someday. (My original thought was to use them as chore charts.) So, last week, after much discussion with my wise husband, and friends who were also dealing with discipline problems, I sat down and hammered out a discipline/reward system. I'm hoping this will make me more accountable in my discipline, and that it will make me more aware of what is truly defiance/disobedience, and what is just childish foolishness. So, here is what we're doing!

We have a chore chart on our fridge. Each kiddo has a pocket with their name on it. There is then a space for me to put chore cards. Each day, they are given two chores to do (obviously just Sawyer and Campbell!) The deal is that they are to do their chores with a happy heart. If they do, they will receive a token for that day. We are using poker chips for tokens! At the end of each week, they can use their tokens to purchase things at Mommy's Store - toys, video rentals, dates with Daddy/Mommy, etc. If they complain about their chores, they do not get their token that day. Next to the chore cards, you will see their "Privelege Pass" This is a pass connected with a special privelege - Legos, Movies, Etc. It will depend on the week/kid/etc. what it is connected to. As long as they keep their pass, they have that privelege. They can lose their pass because of discipline problems. (Thank you to my sweet friend Sunday for the idea - she is a fount of knowledge and wisdom!)

We hung the If / Then chart on the inside of our bathroom closet door, since we use this room for correction. We broke down the most common problems we need to deal with, and attached a form of discipline to each offense. The kids are both starting to read, so hopefully in another few months, they will be able to read for themselves what  the "then" is for each "if." Just to give you an example, if someone is stirring up strife or teasing, then they have to give the offended one of their tokens, and do their chores the following day. We also hung my "Wise Words for Moms" chart on the door. This is a wonderful tool that helps you reach your child's heart, and deal with the real issue, not just correct the behavior for the sake of getting them to act the way you want them to. Here's a link: Wise Words for Moms They're really affordable! Every mom needs one of these, regardless of what form of discipline you use!

The ultimate purpose in all of this is to help me be more accountable, and for the kids to be aware of the consequences their actions have. They will be held accountable for their actions, just like me! Please pray for us as we transition to this new, more structured way of correction!

Galations 6:9

Do not grow weary in doing good, for in the proper time we will reap a harvest, if we do not give up.

My word for the year is perseverence. Perseverence in what? Well, you name it, I need to work on it! My focus lately has been persevering in diligent and purposeful parenting. Guiding with intent instead of just putting out fires as they arise.

We are currently studying 2 Timothy in Bibly study. The first chapter is full of exhortations and instructions from Paul to Timothy. As we were discussing the diffent meanings of exhortation and instruction, our leader pointed out the fact that there was a lot more exhortation going on. Paul wasn't blasting poor Timothy with instruction after instruction, but would present him with an instruction, and then gently encourage him. Oooohhhh...light bulb! It was almost comical, because all the mom's with young kids looked at eah other with embarassed smiles.  We all came to the realization that Paul is giving us a wonderful model of HOW to encourage our children to obedience - not that we don't instruct them, but that instruction is followed with loving encouragement. How often do I rattle off a bunch of commands (someone made a crack about them being a drill sargent!), and get frustrated when they don't move as quickly as I would like? Do I then gently encourage, or do I continue to issue orders?

The definition of the greek form of exhort (parakaleo) used in 2 Timothy is "to call on, entreat, urge" one to a specific course of conduct. This is a directive to be looking to the future. Okay, I realize this seems a little technical, BUT, it is so important to understanding the purpose of exhorting! We urge or entreat them, in order to guide them to a positive course of future action. We are calling on them to growth in obedience! What a privilege we have been given as mothers - to be used by God to urge our children to grow in their obedience to the Lord! And even more amazing - through the action of guiding our children, we are convicted of our sin and grow also!

Lord, please give me perseverence as I guide my children to you. Help me to have a tongue that teaches kindly, and that urges my children toward obedience. Forgive me for my harshness and impatience - for seeing these little ones as a bother at times.  Cleanse my heart, and mold me into the likeness of your Son, so that I might impart His love to them.

Perseverance -

Continued, patient effort. Persistence. To continue in some action in spite of difficulty, opposition, etc. To be steadfast in purpose.

Galations 6:9

Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

I'm always amazed at the Godly wisdom and encouragement I receive from my dear friends. I am so thankful God has surrounded me with other moms that love Him and seek to challenge me to grow spiritually. A few months back I was lamenting my parenting frustrations to a friend, who very wisely shared this verse, and encouraged me to not grow weary. The verse really stuck with me, and I began to really spend time praying that I would look for the harvest, and not focus on the weariness. A short time after that another friend sent me a note, and this same verse was printed on the card! So a couple of weeks ago, I printed the verse up and put it on some pretty paper, and put it on my kitchen window (yay rubber cement!).

Last week Campbell and I had a rough day. Neither of us had slept well, since she had been up a lot that night. I was helping her get buckled into her car seat, because she had disobeyed and not done it herself as I'd asked her.  All day we'd been having to go through the process of correction, and I was at the point of not knowing what to do, since it didn't seem like anything was getting through to her. She was whiny and grumpy. I was frustrated and angry. I remember saying to her "Campbell, why do you continue to disobey me when you know the right thing to do?" She replied "Mommy, I'm only a little girl, and little girls don't know how to always obey." I had to confess my own sin to the Lord, and ask my daughter's forgiveness for being impatient with her, and having unreasonable expectations. I had to stop myself and focus on the end result of all the correction, instead of how tired I was of saying and doing the same thing over and over.

Ryan and I have some very dear friends who we have watched go from the brink of marital destruction to a loving, Godly marriage. They aren't perfect, but they continue to strive toward growth. They are bringing up their children in the fear and love of the Lord. I spoke with her the other day, and she talked about the need for them to have a parenting philosophy that is based not on the desire to have well behaved children, but on the desire for their correction to penetrate their children's sinful hearts, and direct them to their need for a Savior.  This is something Ryan and I have talked about a lot as well, and talking with her was a wonderful way for the Lord to remind me WHY I am here. Yes, I'm here to make sure they have clean clothes (that match if we're out in public!), food to eat, and are loved and cared for. However, that is not the ultimate purpose God has given me as a mother. As a follower of Christ, my highest calling as a Mom is to direct my children to the Lord. Noelle Piper, in her book Treasuring God in our Traditions says "You can't bequeath God to your children. You can leave them the fur coat from your mother,...but they can't inherit God from you. God can only be inherited from God." I can't cause them to believe-that is the work of the Holy Spirit. I can "help them to know Him and understand Him in ways that prepare them to believe in His name." This is my purpose, the gift God has given me as a mother. I can rest in the fact that He will not give me more than I can bear, and that in my weaknesses (which are many!) HE is strong! My children need to see my Savior's love through my actions. I must have a steadfast purpose as I direct them to Him.

What's your word of the year? What has God laid on your heart to focus on as we travel our way through 2009? I'd love to see any comments on what the Lord is impressing upon your heart. Join me the first Tuesday of each month as I continue my journey in perseverance.