Posted in Life in the Crazy House

No, I'm not talking about Iraq.  I'm talking about my all out attack on the fruit flies that have invaded my home. 

I first started seeing the little buggers several weeks ago after I took some watermelon out of the fridge.  My intention was to feed it to my kids later that day.  Well, it seems I forgot all about until a few days later when I lifted the aluminum that covered its end and was met by a small army of fruit flies.

So I trashed the melon and swatted at the flies, killing them all off within a few days.  Or so I thought.  Not long after, I began seeing them again.  I don't know if they were left over from the melon incident, or if they had something to do with the veggies my mom had sent over, but they were back.  I swatted at them again, killing a few here and there, and they seemed to disappear.  Or so I thought again.

Suddenly, unlike King Midas who turned things to gold when he touched them, I was met by a sudden movement of fruit fly troops whenever I would touch something in the kitchen.  They loved my faucet, the glass on my china cabinet, my candles, wet wash cloths, and even my beloved Mr. Clean Magic Erasers!  I decided that it was time to institute a no fly zone in my kitchen.

I started by Googling "how to kill fruit flies."  Most of the ideas involved putting fruit in a glass jar and covering it with plastic wrap, and then poking holes in so that the flies would go in, but couldn't come out.  Of course, I didn't have any plastic wrap, but Sunday I did try inverting a Slurpee cup lid in a large Slurpee cup with an old rag and a piece of fruit in it.  I noticed the flies loved to land on the cup, but once I got near it they scattered. 

I went to church that night, and much to my horror they talked about the plagues in Sunday School.  When my five-year-old heard about the plague of flies, he told his teacher that was just like his house!  I knew something had to been done.  And soon.

Finally, on Monday I got to the store and got the plastic wrap.  I tried the glass jar thing but left the Slurpee cup out.  The next morning, I woke to find that not a single fly was in the trap, but several were on the cup. So I took the wrap and very slowly approached the cup and covered it.  It worked!  I trapped some flies! 

Then I remembered that they share my affection for Magic Erasers.  So I took my old eraser and put it in the lid.  The next time I looked, there were lots of the little buggers crawling all over it.  I did another sneak attack and got even more!

So I decided to somehow attach the plastic wrap to the cup so that it would be there and ready when the flies landed.  That didn't seem to work until I devised my master plan.  I took the plastic wrap and wrapped it around the cup so that it was about four inched above it.  Then I stuck the top of it together so it just left an opening about two inches wide.   I left it like that all night long.

The morning came, and there it was.  My little trap was filled with at least 50 flies, chillin' out on my Magic Eraser.  I just pinched the plastic wrap closed and they were trapped.  I went outside and let them go.  Not because the ACLU said I couldn't legally hold them, or because The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals were watching me, but because I was afraid if I opened the plastic to kill them, they would escape in my house.   I just wanted them outta here!

So all day long, every hour or so, I would go out on my porch and let my little POWs go.  I do have to wonder what the neighbors were thinking.  I even went out a few time in my nightgown!  But as the day went by, I was getting less and less flies in my trap.  I do believe that's because the surge worked.

Now, that is not to say all is well.  I am still battling those rotten little flies.  There are still a few around, but at least they don't swarm around every time I touch something.   I'm not ready to pull out yet.  As long as I see fruit flies, I, along with my Slurpee cup, old rag, and Mr. Clean, will continue to fight.  There is no timeline for withdrawl.  I won't leave until the job is done, and every one of those nasty little buggers respects that my house is a no fly zone, and it's gonna stay that way!