Posted in Life in the Crazy House

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What do you mean good morning?

What’s so great about morning?  I mean, I know the Lord’s mercies are new every morning.  So, I have to agree that I need lots of mercy.   But do I really have to be awake to receive it?

I’m a night person; I am married to a night person.  My kids are night people, and my dog is a night dog.  We just don’t do mornings very well around here.  So we are always running behind from the second our feel hit the floor. 

For years I ran around here like a chicken with my head cut off trying to feed and dress kids, make sure they took their vitamins and brushed their teeth, did their chores, school, etc.  My head was always spinning.  Many times things just got forgotten or left undone.  Once I almost put a dress on my son.  I had to do something.

I decided to make a list!  Yeah, that’s right, a simple list.  Nothing new here, but it helps.  It’s still hectic around here, especially with eight kids and one bathroom, but now we at least almost always get everything done.  Actually, I only make the list for myself and for the five youngest.  The olders are on their own.  Sure, it still takes hours to get ourselves and the house in any kind of reasonable order, but even my dental hygienist noticed the difference.

So here’s the list broken down into sections.  First the Top 5.

Say you love God.  
Kiss and hug Mom
Get dressed
Put away pj’s
Make bed

I call these the “Top 5” because there are the things that have to be, or at least are supposed to be, done before anyone eats.  I have them say they love God in the hopes that they’ll remember that all they do during the day is to serve Him.  The next is easy, at least most of the time they are quite agreeable to kissing and hugging me, at least in the morning before I’ve made them do anything horrible like change their socks or empty the dishwasher.

After they kiss and hug me, they can hopefully find something clean to put on.  This may sound like a simple task, but try to find a matching pair of socks or some clean underwear around here!  Then all I want them to do is put their pj’s under the pillow and “gasp!” make their bed.

Eat
Clean up
Vite
Brush and floss
Face
Hair

Now they can eat!  I rarely make breakfast, horrible mom that I am.  They fend for themselves, and that’s OK with me.   Some eat cereal, some make eggs, some eat ramen noodles.  I normally eat leftovers.  Then they have to put their dishes away, take their vitamin, and then fight for the bathroom.  We tend to have at least three people in line for the bathroom at any given time.  Too bad it’s so small.  Still a small bathroom has it’s conveniences, you can sit on the toilet, wash your hands and wash your feet all at the same time.  Try not to be jealous. 

Now here’s how I impressed my dental hygienist.  For years I always was told to floss.  Yeah, right.  Like I have time for that.  Well, I still don’t, but it’s on the list.  So not only do I remember to floss, so do my kids.  Now when we go to the dentist we are their star patients.  My dental hygeniest  is so proud of me and my new list!  (Really, I think she just likes it that her job is a lot easier.)  Still, my dentist never lets me pick a toy from the treasure box.  Pity.  

Then the kids have to wash their face.  For me “face” means makeup.  I have this aversion to looking like a walking corpse, so I need to add a little color.   Then on to hair.  I tend to do the ponytail thing, despite the loud protestations of my mother, but I just can’t help it.  I don’t have the kind of hair you can just let go, so it’s either take time to style it or pull out the scrunchie.  The scrunchie wins almost every time.  The boys are usually buzzed so they can “X” that one off as a freebie.  I still get to do the girls’ hair most of the time.  There are only two girls, and I figure I’d better enjoy them while they are young.  So I try to relish the moments that I spend making their hair look pretty as I yank and tug the comb through the snarls, leaving it full of their pretty blonde hair, while they scream out in protest.  Nothing like making memories with the little ones. 

Devotions
Chore

Phew!  Getting to this point has probably taken about two hours on a good day.  By this time we are frazzled and already need to sit down and spend some time doing devotions.  So everyone grabs a Bible or Bible story book or just folds their hands and says a prayer.  My youngest prays with great fervor, for at least 30 seconds.  The rest of them do spend about ten minutes.  Then it’s on to chore time.  One empties the dishwasher, one fills it, one clears the couches and chairs, (I realize, most people can skip this step,) and one helps me clean the bathroom.   (Here's where I really am thankful for it's tiny size.)

Now, you have to realize that while all this sounds good on paper, it is hard to pull off in practice.  First, all the kids don’t get up at the same time.  Most of them have to be told to get up more than once.  There are kids eating breakfast while others are doing chores, kids doing devotions, while others are in the bathroom.  Sometimes a kid has to skip something temporarily , like say brushing his teeth, because someone else is in the bathroom. 

This here ain’t no well-oiled machine.  It couldn’t be well-oiled and be as LOUD as it is around here.  We have no carpet and we have leather furniture.  Every sound just bounces around here and echos.  My kids like to break out in song, tap dance, jump, yell, stomp up the stairs, make odd noises with their hands and mouths, and tap their pencils on the tables.  Eventually, though, it all gets done, or at least most of it does.  Then we have at least a few minutes left to do school before it’s time to start dinner!

So there you have.  I suppose there is a slim chance you could gleam something from this morning routine.  If not, at least you'll know that there is someone out there that has a crazier morning routine than you do!

Many blessings!

~Crazy Mom