Posted in Life in the Crazy House

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Well, it's that time of year again.  It's the 2009 Homeschool Blog Awards!

I've had the honor of being nominated for

Best Nitty Gritt Blog.

You can vote for me  

HERE!!!

Did you miss that?

If so,

YOU CAN VOTE FOR ME

HERE!!!

So, why do I qualify for Best Nitty Gritty?

Why do I NOT?  LOL

To qualify, you have to be honest about your mistakes, your failures, your shortcomings...

What else IS there?  LOL

Mistakes, failures, and shortcomings are all I've got! 

I am probably the most unorganized, undomesticated, crazy, lazy, and air-headed homeschool mom out there. 

I dare you be be less competant that I am!

I double dog dare ya!

But if you're feeling that way, like you just aren't doin' in, like you're in a hole you can't dig out of, like you just wanna quit, you've come to the right place.

THE CRAZY HOUSE!!!

Read about my life and you can honestly say, "Well, at least I'm not as bad as her!

I realize that I probably write more reviews than anything else, but I even get nitty gritty in those.  Nitty gritty is what I am.

Sad.  Yet true.

So, hey, you can vote for me

HERE!!!

What are you still reading for?  Go vote!!!

~The Crazy Mom

Posted in Life in the Crazy House

Hi!

Perhaps you are traveling out there in the blogosphere checking out nominees for best this or that and have stumbled across my blog. Maybe you found me at a carnival or blog party.  Maybe you Googled one of the products I've reviewed.  Whatever the reason, I thought it was time for a little timely update about just what this Ramblings from the Crazy House blog is all about!

My name is The Crazy Mom, and I am married to Sane Man, and we have eight wonderful, but hopelessly normal, kids.  Normal in that they do all the things normal kids do.  They fight, disobey, refuse to change their socks, leave their wet Pull Ups on the ground to be stepped on, sneeze all over their dinner, etc.  We also have a dog who loves to sneak downstairs and poop in the basement.  We are so far from the perfect model of the perfect homeschool family that it just ain't funny.  Mosty, I guess, this is because

I'm a very far from perfect homeschool mom.

Now, one day it occured to me, as I was pondering my failures, that I couldn't be the ONLY one out there who wasn't raising a brood of perfectly groomed, perfectly well-behaved children, who wake up at 5:00 in the morning to sing hymns, milk the goats, and get the homemade bread dough prepared for the day.  I couldn't be the only one whose kids weren't totally excited about sentence diagramming, or long division, or cleaning their rooms.  I couldn't be the only one whose kids don't study nuclear physics or do advanced calculus at age three.  There had to be other moms who, at the end of the day, crawled into bed thinking wistfully, tomorrow will be better...

So I decided to let it all hang out and put myself out there to be an example of the crazy and imperfect Mom.  Cause you know what?  We are out there.  We are out there on the farms, we are out there in the suburbs, and we are out there in the city.   We've got rambuncious kids, dirty houses and a to do list that we can never seem to finish.  We are just gettin' by and doing the best we can, and do you know what?  Our kids are doing just fine! 

So, I thought I'd share my crazy life with you so you will be able to look at it and say, if she can do it, I can do it.  And even though my family is so far from perfect it just ain't funny, we do have some funny moments, and I will gladly share them with you!

To get a taste of what this is all about, check out a few of my blog entries.  Wake Up!, Testing, Testing 1-2-3, Driving Miss Crazy, That's Why They Call Me The Crazy Mom, and Searching for Buried Treasure are a few of my favorites. 

You might notice that there are also lots of reviews and stuff as part of my blog.  That's 'cause I am part of the TOS Homeschool Crew, and I get stuff to use and blog about.  So even if you are not a fellow Crazy Mom, you might want to stop by some time to learn about some great homeschool products.  Either way, you are always welcome!  Stop by any time!  I love to say that, because I don't have to clean!!!

Update!!!  Soon I'll be posting reviews about books from Christian publishing companies.  I'm doing reviews for Thomas Nelson, Bethany House, Crossways and more.   I'm trying to branch out a bit.  You'll even see a review for UHU glue! 

You never know what you'll find here on my blog.  Again, stop by any time.  If I've baked cookies, I won't even have to share them with you.  Yeah, like I have time to bake cookies!  LOL 

Have a great day!  You can do it!  Yes you can!!!

~The Crazy Mom

Posted in Life in the Crazy House

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So after all this time, I finally start the ball rolling to get my second and third oldest their braces.  Ren is 16, and Mr. Personality (Mr.P.) is 15, and I want them to be done with them before they graduate from high school.

So I take them to two places.  First Dr. L.'s, and then Dr. B.'s.  When we went to Dr. L.'s I decided I really like the guy.  He's friendly, laid back, and just seems like an all around good guy.  I'd even heard rumors that he once treated a family with eight kids, all of whom needed braces, and he did the last one free.  So I decide, I'll go with this guy, but I have to at least go see the other dude.

So, guess what?  I like the second guy too!  But he actually makes a little dig at a certain, uh, person in high office, during the conversation.  I personally feel this certain person in high office wants to make this a socialist country, so I think, Hmmm...this is my kinda guy!

But Dr. Anti-socialist costs a bit more.  Well, what did you expect?  He's obviously a money-grubbing capitalist!  So, I tell them, "Well, I think your fee is a bit higher."  He tells me he'll match the other doc's quote, and his secretary says she'll write it all up and mail it out to me the next week so I can have it all in writing and make my final decision.

So I wait and check the mail all the next week.  Nothing.  I e-mail and call.  Nothing.  Well, I start to wonder, maybe I should just go with Dr. L.  I mean, he must be a capitalist too.  He's a rich doctor!  Right?  But, no, I decided to give Dr. B. just one last chance.  I call one more time and tell myself that his office has until Monday evening to get me those papers.  Monday morning I get a call from the other doc.  When do we want to come in?  I don't answer, but wonder if I should.  I still don't have those papers.

Well, Monday the mail comes and they are here!  OK.  Dr. B., the anti-socialist wins!  So I give 'em a call and set up the appointments.  In the meantime I get two, yes two, letters from Dr. L.'s office.  The last letter says that if they don't hear from me, they'll assume we are not coming in.  I am relieved.  The one thing I hate is to disappoint someone, or not choose someone.  I did NOT want to actually TELL them I'd chosen someone else.  I felt guilty.  Must be all those years of being picked last in gym class. 

Not long after it dawns on me that I scheduled them on a Monday.  I did that because Ren takes college classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  What I wasn't thinking about is the fact that First Born would not be home on a Monday to watch the other five kids.  So I call and change Ren's appointment to a Friday.  Mr. P. says he is anxious to get his braces on, and could he please keep his Monday appointment.  Well, with Ren home, that would be doable, so now they each have an appointment.

But on the Sunday before the Monday appointment, Mr. P gets sick.  I mean he's coughing.  Coughing and getting braces on don't mix so I call their machine Sunday night and cancel.  The next day I decided to call and get him a new appointment.  Hopefully with Ren on the Friday so I can just take them both at once.

So I look for the folder with the number on it.  I had left it downstairs.  I decide to simply look it up online.  So I Google it and call the number.  I explain that Mr. P. is sick and I had to cancel his appointment to get his braces on.  I ask if he can come in with Ren on Friday.  She has no record of Ren's appointment, so we start from scratch.  We take about ten minutes trying to find a time they can go in when my other son is home.  It is a real pain.  I wonder to myself if I had picked the wrong orthodontist after all.  I mean, being an anti-socialist is great and all, but I need an office with convenient appointments.  Finally we figure out a way to do it, but it involves getting in and out really quick because First Born has to work.  And they tell me they don't normally DO Friday appointment.  That's weird, but oh, well.  I really wish they did, though, because that's the day First Born is home all day, and Ren doesn't have school.  And another weird thing.  They aren't getting their braces on.  They are coming in for records.  I could have sworn they were getting braces on.  Oh, well.  I hang up and sigh.  This is going to be a pain.

Wait.

Did I?

Oh, please tell me I didn't!

What number did I just call?

I called Dr. L.'s office?

I was supposed to be calling Dr. B.'s office!

Aw, man!

So, I briefly consider crawling under a rock, or at the very least putting off canceling.  But, no, I needed to just do it.  So I call back Dr. L.'s and sheepishly explain that I needed to cancel the appointments because I had called the wrong office.  So, yes, I had to admit, I didn't pick them.  And I was so glad they had stopped calling and sending letters.

So I call Dr. B.'s to make the appointment.  For getting braces.  On a Friday.  Easy peasy.  So I was right, I DID pick the right orthodontist after all.  Anti-socialist, and convenient hours.  What more can a girl ask for?

~Crazy Mom

Posted in Life in the Crazy House

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Okay, so I do reviews for the TOS Homeschool Crew, which I LOVE!  This year is even cooler than last year because we are getting a lot of stuff that isn't even exclusively for homeschooers.  One of the things I'll be reviewing is a cookbook (or if I'm really lucky, cookbooks) from Sue Gregg. 

So Sue sends us a letter and tells us to go to her website and try some recipes.  I decide to go with pancakes as we already had a dinner menu planned for several weeks, plus I thought the kids might be more open to my experiement than Sane Man.

I decided to go with unground whole wheat.  I don't know what that even is.  I mean,  I do, but I don't.  In other words, I'm not sure I've ever seen wheat before it's been ground into flour, but I know it exists.  Somewhere.  I've only used whole wheat flour a few times, so this was foreign to me.

So I go to the store and get what I think its unground whole wheat.  My kids got excited when they saw it, thinking it was bird seed!  "No," I said, "I'm making pancakes with it."  Hmmm...  I don't think they liked that idea.  The crazy thing is that when I looked at the package it said it was ground.  What do I know?  I can tell you that it was not flour, however ground it might be.  I decided that was close enough.

So I got some other stuff, like buttermilk.  Not sure I've ever bought buttermilk either.  I am way over my head here.  I prefer the kind of pancakes you buy frozen in a box, just like I buy my waffles.  (Now, my kids actually will make pancakes with a mix.  Just add water!)

So I go home and am totally excited about making something healthful.  (Grammar note:  Healthy food means your food isn't sick.  Healthful means it's good for you.)

So I get my printed out recipe and decide that with my big family I need to triple it.  I am doing some two step thing which requires me to put in some of the ingredients in the blender to sit overnight.  Something to do with breaking things down to allow for easier digestion.  (Read:  Less gas!)  I put the stuff aside and go to bed totally excited about my healthful breakfast plans.

Wow!  I get up to find that my ingredients have E X P A N D E D !  The blender is just about full.  So I turn it on.  It's making lots of noise, but I don't see any movement.  So I just keep running it.  No movement.  A strange smell.  I just keep running it.  No movement.  No SOUND either.  Oops!  I just fried my blender.

Well, I'm committed at this point.  Not to mention, I've spent a lot of money on this already.  So I try to spoon some of the "batter" into a tiny food processor.  Well, it makes sounds and I see some movement, but it just wasn't cutting it.  Still, I keep doing it and then go ahead and try to make the "pancakes." 

Well, I attempt to pour the thick goop into the pan.  It is so think that it seems to take forever to cook.  Finally I think it is done.  The "bird seed" is still fully visible and my kids are less than enthusiastic.  I encourage them to drown them in syrup to make it edible and they indulge me, but I don't think any of them got past the first bite.  The dog, on the other hand, loved them!  LOL

Oh, what a typical moment in a typical Crazy Mom day.  I just seem to be quite inept at all things domestic.  Now, Sue Gregg is like the opposite of me.  She is together.  None of this is her fault, and I want to be absolutely clear when I tell you that.  She did tell me that she burnt up a few blenders in her day, though, so that made me feel MUCH better.  Seems tripling the recipe in a cheapo blender was not a wise idea.  Also I had failed to read that I was supposed to BLEND the ingredients together at night, BEFORE setting it aside.  You see, Sue Gregg writes up her recipes a little differently than most cookbooks, and I DID NOT READ THROUGH THE WHOLE RECIPE BEFORE STARTING.  Oops.  So, that is my true confession.  My bad.

So, I went back to the store and decided to go with oats and brown rice to make the recipe.  (Yes, the recipe is written so that you can use several different grains.)  Oh, and I went out and bought a new blender.     THIS TIME I read the recipe through, and followed it to a T.  I didn't so much as double the recipe.  Funny thing.  It worked.  Now, I'm not saying all my kids loved them.  Some did and some didn't. 

Now, I am a much wiser woman.  (Still crazy, fear not.)  I think I will have to play with the recipe a bit more and maybe use a bit of white flour with the wheat, oats, or brown rice to start and gradually reduce the amount until we can go fully healthful. 

So, with that sucess under my belt I decided to try Sue Gregg's parmeasan chicken.  Now, THAT I made and EVERYONE liked it.  So, I am not a TOTAL failure after all.  Over the next few weeks, I'll be checking out some more stuff from the website to try.  I think I am actually gonna LIKE cooking more healthful foods.  First sewing, now this.  This is gonna be the year that I finally become a real homemaker!  LOL

Posted in Life in the Crazy House

Posted in Life in the Crazy House

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The other day I went out to Aldi's with my four youngest kids, Princess, Dodeman, Bear, and Baber.  I decided that I'd take a bunch of the bags I had collected over time and leave them on the packing counter for others to use.  I had lost my debit card (again) so all I had was $50 and Aldi only takes debit or cash, so I had to limit myself as to what I could buy.

I went through the store only getting what I needed to make dinner, cheesey potatoes for our family picnic, the stuff for yummy berry smoothies, and a few other essential.  I told the kids "no" about a million times, and kept saying, "I only have some cash; I can't just buy whatever I want!"

So I get to the register and let the guy know not to let it go over $50.  I had lined up my items from most to least important.  The total went up and up, until it stopped at $48.10.  I was amazed at how close I'd come to $50 without really trying.  Then I realized the kids had put the margarine on the bottom rack of the cart.  I had $1.90 and it was $1.79 so I had 11¢ to my credit.  I was feeling pretty good.

Then a lady and I struck up a conversation somehow about the bags I'd brought in.  I told her how I had actually been storing them in a kitchen cabinet which then necessitated keeping several pans in my oven.  She laughed with me and told me I was not the only one.  She tended to have bag collections too.

The lady had something about her.  Sure, there are lots of nice people, but some are just joyful.  Even a casual conversation about bags seemed to take on something special.  There was just something about this lady.  Then she mentioned the four children, and they proceeded to tell her that they only comprised half of the kids. She smiled wide and said something about how great it was we had children in the family and then asked where the other four were.  This is where I, in my weakness, start to feel a little bit uncomfortable.  I mean, the kids were at church preparing for a day of witnessing for life at a large public event.  I mean, I didn't know what this lady's thoughts were on abortion, and I just didn't want to get into anything if she happened not to agree with me.

But kids aren't like that.  Dode man let her know they were going to be carrying signs that said ABORTION IS MEAN.  She smiled and raised her eyebrows.  Then she told me her story.  You see, she is 75, but when her mom was pregnant for her, her father wanted her mom to get an abortion.  As she told the story, there were no tears or hints of anger or resentment.  She just smiled that joyful smile and told us how glad and blessed she was to be here!  Then she proceeded to tell my kids how her grandmother had taught her to pray.  She said it was just simple prayers, like "Help me, God!" or "Thank you Jesus!"  But she let them know that prayer was very important and that they should always pray.

I walked out of the store feeling good.  I had just enough money to pay for the food, and I'd met a wonderful lady who obviously knew something about the joy of the Lord.  I was feeling the joy, too!

Then I got my groceries in the car, put the key in the ignition and...nothing.

I called Sane Man, who got there 40 minutes later and got us home. 

********************************************************************************

Now, while all this was going on, one of my sons, Mr. Personality, was actually at a Christian camp.  The week before he told us he really wanted to go.  Sane Man told him there was no way we could afford the $225 fee, but that we could put his birthday money towards it and his grandparents' birthday money towards it, but the rest he'd have to pay himself.  I suggested he go around the neighborhood and look for some work.  Sane Man told him the best thing to do first, though, would be to go up to his room and pray about it.  He could ask God to help him earn the money if He wanted him to go.

So, the next day he went out into the neighborhood and came back with about $50.  Most of the money people just gave him.  He just has a certain charm about him, and after taking to him a few minutes, most people were glad to hand him over some cash.  He went out again the next few days, did some more work, and collected some more donations.  Some folks even game him pop botles.  About $35 worth total! 

It seemed like the whole neighborhood just came together to send this kid to camp!  He had asked one of the neighbors for work and was turned away, but the next day the same guy pulled up next to him and handed him a twenty out the window!  Another guy had told him to come by on Friday, but that he could only give him five dollars as he was laid off.  Friday came and he told Mr. Personality that he must be "bad" luck, as he got his job back.  He then handed him ten bucks!  Later Sane Man was sitting in the living room when some stranger came to the door looking for Mr. Personality, but he was out in the neighborhood looking for more work.  The guy left and went looking for Mr. Personality, found him, and handed him some more cash.  Mr. Personality didn't recognise him, so he asked how he knew he was collecting money for camp.  The man answered that his brother had told him!  Yes, that's right, it was like everybody and their brother was giving him money!  (He wants to go into politics, so we told him he now has experience being a "community organizer!"  LOL)

It was the day before camp and he had all but eight of the full $225 that he needed.  I was telling my mom and sister in an e-mail, and my sister told me to put her down for ten!  So now he actually was $2 over!  As he was leaving I loaned him a twenty so he would have some spare cash on him.  While he was gone the next-door neighbor came over and gave us $20 that he was giving him for cutting his grass.  So he earned and collected everything he needed and had $22 to take with him.  He would not even have to relinquish his birthday gifts!

He came back today and said he had a great time at camp, but his wallet had been stolen.

*****************************************************************************

Does it just seem that life is like that sometimes?  Just when you're really starting to believe that God really loves you, something happens to make you start to doubt it all over again?  I know it can be like that for me.  But my mom has a saying, "God is in Control."  He knows everything about everything and He has a way of making things work out for good.  Somehow we have to grasp the truth that God loves us when things are good, and when things are bad.  He loves us when we get a new job, have a new baby, and fall in love.  He still loves us when we get laid off, our child dies, or our spouse cheats.  No matter how we feel, He is in control and He loves us more than we'll ever know.

Who knows?  Maybe my husband's life was spared because he avoided an accident by coming home early to rescue us.  Or maybe it was me who was spared?  Or even someone else?  Who knows?  And the wallet?  We found it in Mr. Personality's dirty laundry.  Well, I know Who knows.  God knows.  He is in control.  We might see life as a series of blessing and curses, but when God is in control, it's all good.

Posted in Life in the Crazy House

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Just how does Crazy Mom get any school done in the Crazy House?

I've probably never made a school schedule I've actually kept to the letter.  We just aren't that organized or efficient around here.  For years I would make these wonderful lists, and then would fail to check everything off, feeling totally defeated by the day's end. 

So I gave up.

Now what I do is "Priority Scheduling."  Think about it.  I have eight kids who are taking anywhere from two subjects to eight subjects.   That's forty or fifty subjects to cover in one day.  Like that's even possible!  Trying to do it all was just setting me up for failure.  So this is how I do it now.

When I get up I think to myself, what does each child really need to do today?   If they are lagging in math, I have them do math first, if they are lagging in spelling, I have them do spelling.  I don't worry about them doing everything, I just make sure they are doing what they really need to work on.  Then I list the other subjects in order of importance.  They simply do the subject in order, finishing what they can.  (And here's a dirty little secret, once in a while we start out by cleaning up!)

Of course, there are other factors that also come into play when I make up our daily schedule.  We do a lot of contests.  Sometimes we will just take a day or two, or even a week, to work on the current contest.  It seems to work, because my kids often win!  Sure they have an advantage that they can work hours and hours on it.  Well, guess what?  That's one reason we homeschool.  I like to be flexible and we can adjust out schedule as we see fit.   The ability to spend more time on things that are important is a great advantage.  I'm not going to feel guilty because other kids are sitting in school all day doing busy work. 

This year has been different because we are all testing out new homeschool products for the TOS Crew.  I do have to schedule time to use these products so that I can honestly review them.  We have tried about fifty new things, so you know everyday just has to be a little different.  I don't think we could have done this if we were the rigid schedule types.  It's been fun and I'm glad I had the opportunity to do it this year!  I am thrilled to say that I am staying on another year, so here we go again!  LOL

So, it's not like I don't make schedules.  I do.  Every day.   But I don't make my kids do everything everyday and just about every day is different.   I admit, sometimes I feel guilty that they are not doing everything they'd be doing in public school.  Then again, they are not doing everything they'd be doing in public school.  Know what I mean?

Posted in Life in the Crazy House

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What do you mean good morning?

What’s so great about morning?  I mean, I know the Lord’s mercies are new every morning.  So, I have to agree that I need lots of mercy.   But do I really have to be awake to receive it?

I’m a night person; I am married to a night person.  My kids are night people, and my dog is a night dog.  We just don’t do mornings very well around here.  So we are always running behind from the second our feel hit the floor. 

For years I ran around here like a chicken with my head cut off trying to feed and dress kids, make sure they took their vitamins and brushed their teeth, did their chores, school, etc.  My head was always spinning.  Many times things just got forgotten or left undone.  Once I almost put a dress on my son.  I had to do something.

I decided to make a list!  Yeah, that’s right, a simple list.  Nothing new here, but it helps.  It’s still hectic around here, especially with eight kids and one bathroom, but now we at least almost always get everything done.  Actually, I only make the list for myself and for the five youngest.  The olders are on their own.  Sure, it still takes hours to get ourselves and the house in any kind of reasonable order, but even my dental hygienist noticed the difference.

So here’s the list broken down into sections.  First the Top 5.

Say you love God.  
Kiss and hug Mom
Get dressed
Put away pj’s
Make bed

I call these the “Top 5” because there are the things that have to be, or at least are supposed to be, done before anyone eats.  I have them say they love God in the hopes that they’ll remember that all they do during the day is to serve Him.  The next is easy, at least most of the time they are quite agreeable to kissing and hugging me, at least in the morning before I’ve made them do anything horrible like change their socks or empty the dishwasher.

After they kiss and hug me, they can hopefully find something clean to put on.  This may sound like a simple task, but try to find a matching pair of socks or some clean underwear around here!  Then all I want them to do is put their pj’s under the pillow and “gasp!” make their bed.

Eat
Clean up
Vite
Brush and floss
Face
Hair

Now they can eat!  I rarely make breakfast, horrible mom that I am.  They fend for themselves, and that’s OK with me.   Some eat cereal, some make eggs, some eat ramen noodles.  I normally eat leftovers.  Then they have to put their dishes away, take their vitamin, and then fight for the bathroom.  We tend to have at least three people in line for the bathroom at any given time.  Too bad it’s so small.  Still a small bathroom has it’s conveniences, you can sit on the toilet, wash your hands and wash your feet all at the same time.  Try not to be jealous. 

Now here’s how I impressed my dental hygienist.  For years I always was told to floss.  Yeah, right.  Like I have time for that.  Well, I still don’t, but it’s on the list.  So not only do I remember to floss, so do my kids.  Now when we go to the dentist we are their star patients.  My dental hygeniest  is so proud of me and my new list!  (Really, I think she just likes it that her job is a lot easier.)  Still, my dentist never lets me pick a toy from the treasure box.  Pity.  

Then the kids have to wash their face.  For me “face” means makeup.  I have this aversion to looking like a walking corpse, so I need to add a little color.   Then on to hair.  I tend to do the ponytail thing, despite the loud protestations of my mother, but I just can’t help it.  I don’t have the kind of hair you can just let go, so it’s either take time to style it or pull out the scrunchie.  The scrunchie wins almost every time.  The boys are usually buzzed so they can “X” that one off as a freebie.  I still get to do the girls’ hair most of the time.  There are only two girls, and I figure I’d better enjoy them while they are young.  So I try to relish the moments that I spend making their hair look pretty as I yank and tug the comb through the snarls, leaving it full of their pretty blonde hair, while they scream out in protest.  Nothing like making memories with the little ones. 

Devotions
Chore

Phew!  Getting to this point has probably taken about two hours on a good day.  By this time we are frazzled and already need to sit down and spend some time doing devotions.  So everyone grabs a Bible or Bible story book or just folds their hands and says a prayer.  My youngest prays with great fervor, for at least 30 seconds.  The rest of them do spend about ten minutes.  Then it’s on to chore time.  One empties the dishwasher, one fills it, one clears the couches and chairs, (I realize, most people can skip this step,) and one helps me clean the bathroom.   (Here's where I really am thankful for it's tiny size.)

Now, you have to realize that while all this sounds good on paper, it is hard to pull off in practice.  First, all the kids don’t get up at the same time.  Most of them have to be told to get up more than once.  There are kids eating breakfast while others are doing chores, kids doing devotions, while others are in the bathroom.  Sometimes a kid has to skip something temporarily , like say brushing his teeth, because someone else is in the bathroom. 

This here ain’t no well-oiled machine.  It couldn’t be well-oiled and be as LOUD as it is around here.  We have no carpet and we have leather furniture.  Every sound just bounces around here and echos.  My kids like to break out in song, tap dance, jump, yell, stomp up the stairs, make odd noises with their hands and mouths, and tap their pencils on the tables.  Eventually, though, it all gets done, or at least most of it does.  Then we have at least a few minutes left to do school before it’s time to start dinner!

So there you have.  I suppose there is a slim chance you could gleam something from this morning routine.  If not, at least you'll know that there is someone out there that has a crazier morning routine than you do!

Many blessings!

~Crazy Mom

Posted in Life in the Crazy House

The big moment had come.  David was going to take his driver's test and get his license.  The test was at 9:00 a.m. so the plan was to leave at 8:30 in the morning.  The form the testing people gave us had a list of paperwork we needed to bring.  I had told David to look over the list and make sure we had everything so we would be all ready to leave in the morning.

We were up and out of the house by 8:30.  We got to the test place with time to spare.  We gathered all the papers we needed, but, wait!  Where is the proof of insurance?

"Here it is!" I shout.  "No, this is the old one!  It must be here somewhere!  I just put it in here the other day!"  I shuffle through the center console and the glove box, papers falling everywhere.

You see our policy had run out on Oct. 1st and it was the 8th.  I frantically look at the clock.  Good, it's only 8:50.

I know I just put it in here!  "Why didn't you check for it last night when I told you to check everything?" I asked David, growing even more frantic.

So he proceeds to tell me he checked his stuff.  You know, his permit and driver's ed certificate.  He figured he shouldn't have to check on ours.  Why would he think that??? 

"Drive up to the door!  NO!  Wait!  Let me call Dad!  No!  Just start to go home in case I can't get the AAA number and have to get the copy!  No!  Wait!  Drive me to the door! Go!  Hurry!  Hurry!  I need to make sure they can get a copy faxed!"

So I run in and ask if it's OK if the insurance company faxes them a proof of insurance.  They say it's no problem, and they give me the fax number.  I run back to the car.

"OK," I say to David, "we can just have AAA send a fax.  Now how do I get the number?"

I look on our old proof.  No number.  I try my husband, but can't get him.  I panic again and tell David maybe we should still drive towards home just in case.  He starts to drive home and I finally call information on my cell.  I get the main AAA number and call it.  I get a phone tree.  Do you know how much I hate those phone trees?  I tell the robot lady, "Come on! Come on!"

I tell David to pull into the nearby parking lot.

I sit there until I get a real human and tell her I need an emergency proof, give her the fax number and she puts me on hold to make sure it went through.  I tell David to go back to the test place.

We get there and the test place already has the fax.  It seems like forever, but it's really only like 9:01.  The whole thing was simple, really.  And could have been a whole lot simpler if I had not panicked.

So we take the road test and I sit in the back seat reading a magazine and David passes without a hitch.  God must have felt like giving me a break after my rough morning, so we were actually only at Secretary of State to get his license for about a half hour.  That is unheard of.

Later, I relay the story to my husband who tells me I gave him the proof in the living room and he had put it in his wallet.  Oops! 

So now my oldest son has his license.  I'm just guessing, but I have strange a feeling the panic is just beginning!

~The Crazy Mom

Posted in Life in the Crazy House

On Sunday mornings my son has to go up to the vet's where he works to feed the animals some time between 7:00 and 8:00.  Around 7:20 my husband woke up and asked me if David had gone yet.  I hadn't heard anyone up and about so I told him I hadn't heard him and that I would go up and make sure he was up.

Well...my husband told me not to go.  After all, our son is 17 and he needs to learn responsibility.  Now this is a new thing for me.  As a homeschool mom, I have to say it has been hard to let the kids grow up and become responsible to a certain degree.  I mean, in many ways they are far more responsible than their public school counterparts, but in others, they are not.  If they lost a book, I was the one to look for it.  I am always asking them if they have their work done, and, though it is the world's hardest job, I am the one to get them up in the mornings.

So, hubby and I argued a bit and I lay their fantasizing about him sleeping until noon and then getting fired.  Finally Dave admitted that he wasn't going to let him sleep too late, but I guess just late enough to teach him a lesson.  So up the stairs he went. 

And wouldn't ya know?  The bed was empty!  David has long since gone to work!   Not much later he came home, oblivious to the problems he had caused!  Kids these days.  Always getting their parents worked up.  The nerve of that boy! 

~The Crazy Mom

Posted in Life in the Crazy House

You know the commerical that asks, "What's in your wallet?"

Well, I'd like to ask you, "What's under your couch cushions?"

I used to try to keep things clean under my couch cushions.  Several years ago I had a weekly meeting in my home.  Each week I would make sure to dutifully clean and even vacuum under each cushion.  There was one time I didn't get to it, and wouldn't you know, some friends brought their sick kid over who proceeded to throw up right in the corner of my couch.  It was clean up the puke myself and avoid letting them see what was lurking under there, or let them do it and expose myself.  Well, in that case, I chose the latter, but any other time I would be just horrified if anyone saw what was actually under there.  That is, until now.

I see the junk under the couch cushions in a whole new light!  It's amazing how helpful it has been to keep that treasure trove just as it is!  The other day I needed a pencil.  I reached my hand in the cushion and "Voila!" there was a pencil!  Then my husband yelled that his comb was missing as he rushed to get ready for work.  I reach in my trusty treasure stash, and "Tada!" there's a comb!  The other day my daughter had a great time.  She decided to reach in to see what she could find.  Wouldn't you know, she came up with two miniature Mr. Goodbars and a Starkist candy!  What fun! 

So you see, you have to look at things in a different light.  Now, whenever I need something, a pencil, comb, nail clippers, ponytail holder or midnight snack, I just reach on into my trusty couch and I am never disappointed.  Just don't bring over any sick kids.

Take that cleanies!!!

~The Crazy Mom

Posted in Life in the Crazy House

I saw an article on my Yahoo homepage a few weeks back titled "How to Clean Your House in 19 Minutes."  Of course, I just had to check it out.  It takes me longer than that just to talk myself into getting started!

The gist of the article was that you simply need to spend four to five minutes each in the kitchen, bathroom, living room and bedroom each day and your house will be clean!  Well, maybe in heaven!  LOL  I mean, let's break this down a bit.

First they started in the kitchen.  I was told to shine my sink, wipe off my counters, and wipe down my appliances.  OK.  Don't I need to get the dishes out of the sink and then into the dishwasher before I can shine it?  Of course, I first have to empty the dishwasher.  There's about 15 minutes.  So I start the dishwasher and take my minute to shine the sink.  That's 16 minutes now.  I then have to clear the counters before I can wipe them.  I clear the used paper towels, put away the food that's been left out, collect and put away the various treasures that have surely collected there, and then I proceed to wipe the counters.  All this might take an additional 10 minutes, so I am well past 19 minutes.  I'm at 26 to be exact, and I haven't even left the kitchen.  Then I can wipe my appliances.  They have only allotted me a minute for this, but it takes at least five.  I am up to 31 minutes.  Then I need to sweep the floor and empty the trash.  I should be up to at least 40 minutes by now.  There is also no mention of taking the socks out of the waffle iron, fishing the fork out of the milk, or getting the eggs out of the cereal box, all things I've done in real life.

Now I go to the bathroom.  (No, I don't mean I go to the bathroom, I mean I walk into it.  Well, actually I probably do go to the bathroom.  Forget it!  Back to the blog I go...)  I am supposed to wipe my sink, swoosh my toilet, and get outta there in just a few minutes.  First, I have to pick up all the dirty clothes and towels off the floor.  I do let my daughter do that.  Yes, I do ask my family to do this themselves, but it doesn't always happen.  This is reality here.  Then I have to clear off all the stuff, meaning the combs, toothpaste and toothbrushes, hair thingys and whatever, off the back of the sink.  Again, the trash must be emptied, as it's filled to overflowing every single day.  I do all that, then do the sink, clean the toilet, and also the tub.  Add another ten minutes and we're up to 50 minutes.  Of course, the floor has to be done every day, too, so you might want to make that 55 minutes by now.  Hopefully, there are no little toy school buses lodged in the toilet or anything else that would necessitate removing and replacing the toilet to get it out.  That could add a few minutes more.

Now, here comes the easy part.  The living room.  This one was great.  I was to go in my living room and fluff my pillows, then straighten the books on my coffee table.  Oh, this should be easy, I think, I'm way ahead here!  I won't need the full four or five minutes because I don't have pillows or a coffee table.  I do, however, have lots of books, mostly school books or library books, that have to be put away.  Plus I need to put away whatever laundry I have piled all over the couch.  Then there are cups, plates, candy wrappers, dirty socks, dog toys, crayons, Legos, and, well, the list goes on.  I do have to put all that away.  I guess we'd better add at least 15 minutes here, so we're up to an hour and ten minutes.  Oh, and I forgot the vacuuming!  I don't have to vacuum either, but I do have to sweep.  I'm gonna say that puts me at an hour and 12 minutes as I head to the bedroom.  Oh!  I forgot to straighten the mantle, the TV area, and the hearth!  Oops!  Better up that to at least an hour and a half!  OK, now I head to the bedroom.

Here I basically have to organize my nightstand and make the bed.  Easy!  The nightstand really isn't that bad because Sane Man hates it when it's a mess and he will actually straighten it himself.  Making the bed's not so bad either.  I can do both of those things in my allotted four or five minutes.  Of course, the kids like to use my room as a changing room, so I might have to call them in to remover either their clothes or pajamas.  Then there's the stuff piled all over my dresser.  You see, I have the only bedroom on the main floor, and it's the catch all for everything that people, including me, don't know what to do with.  It can be piled quite high with cameras, mail, books, magazines, yarn, coupons, well, you know...  Then, as I hang my head in shame, I have to admit that there are the clothes that I have left on the floor.  I have limited dresser space, and, well, it happens.  OK, so if I really clean the room it could take a while.  Let's just say I give it a decent straightening.  We're up to two hours!

So 19 minutes?  Yeah, if you're single or have grown children!  NOT if you have eight kids that are home pretty much all day 24/7.  NOT if you are homeschooling them.  NOT if you were born with a regressive organization gene.  I haven't even considered that we have to do laundry, and that the dishwasher actually has to be emptied and filled twice a day, and that the schoolwork has to be put away every day, and that we have to clean up the table after each meal.  There was nothing mentioned about the toys strewn about in the yard, the crayon drawings on the wall, or the scattered dog food.  Plus there's all the cooking, teaching, and maybe even some kissing and hugging that has to be done around here too! 

So, I don't know who it is that wrote that article, but it didn't help me much, and to be honest, if someone only had 19 minutes worth of cleaning to do, they probably didn't need the article either.  I guess they just had some column space to fill!  I think I could spend 19 hours a day cleaning this house and never get it clean.  Oh, that may come some day, but until then, let's write about something important, like, oh I don't know, Sarah Palin's wardrobe or something.

Maybe next time I'll write about house cleaning.  The Crazy Mom way!!!

~The Crazy Mom

Posted in Life in the Crazy House

Hello Blog Readers!!!

I just wanted to tell you that my prayer for all of you is to have a wonderful and productive 2009.

I'm sorry that I haven't had much time to blog lately, aside from all of my product reviews, but we have been enjoying lots and lots of nasty, germy sickness here at The Crazy House.  It's been crazier than ever with all the boogers and vomit oozing around here.  How's that for a visual?  Well, trust me, it's been a real challenge just to get by.  Thankfully, we were all spared on Christmas day and were able to enjoy it at home with our family.  The puking didn't start until 2:30 a.m. on the 26th.

Here's a quick glance at this year's highlights:

First Born got his first job, first car and driver's license, and took his first college class where he got an A.  He won 2nd place in a media contest and got $200.  He also was an assitant coach for the homeschool basketball clinic, volunteered at library for the summer reading program, made get out the vote calls for the presidential race, and was a stage hand for "The Gospel According to Scrooge."  In his spare time he did a lot of skateboarding and practiced guitar.

Renaissance Man also took his first college class and got an A.  He won 1st place in the media contest, earning $300 for his computer animation.  He also did an animation for a local FIRST robotics team. Not being just a nerd, Renaissance man also participated in the homeschool basketball clinic, played first base on a local baseball team, and spent hours on his skateboard.  He also volunteered this summer at the library and as a stage hand for "Scrooge." Lately, he has been practicing his bass.

Mr. Personality also participated in the homeschool basketball clinic.  He also ran for, and won, his first political office, and is now the president of the Teen Advisory Board at the local library.  He attends as many meetings and programs there as possible.  He also volunteered there this summer and particated in the summer reading program.  Mr. Personality volunteered for the presidential campaign too and worked as a stage hand for "Scrooge." 

Woggit also participated in the basketball clinic and played baseball with Renaissance Man this summer. He loves to be on the computer and is teaching himself 3D modeling.  His life's goal is to get his own lap top.  He participated in the summer reading program and read over 100 hours. Lately he has been spending a lot of time on the phone talking to his friend Nicky. 

Princess participated in homeschool gym this year and also in the homeschool American Girls club.  She also read around 100 hours for the summer reading program.  She is doing really well with her crocheting, and this year she has taught herself to play the recorder.  She loves to rollerblade, write, draw, and play with her sister, her friends, and sometime even her brothers, in her spare time. 

Dode Man participated in homeschool gym and read lots of books for the summer reading program too.  He also gets on the computer every chance he gets.  He loves to play outside with his brothers, sisters and friends and looks forward to spring.

Bear did homeschool gym, American Girls and the library program too.  This is the first year she read the books herself.  She loves to draw and cuddle with her stuffed animals.  She also loves playing outside with her siblings and friends.  This year she learned to make pot holders to give as Christmas gifts.

Baber did homeschool gym too, though sometimes he just wanted to sit with me.  He also did the summer reading program.  He had to be read to this year, but he's learning to read now, so maybe by next summer he'll be reading all by himself!  Baber loves to play with his siblings, and he is also making lots of friends around the neighborhood.  He loves to draw and create.  He LOVES tape. 

God willing, Sane Man still works as an engineer.  He has been "temporarily" laid off for the last seven weeks.  We are just hoping that when he goes back to work, he isn't told to turn around a go back home.  Have you heard?  The automotive companies are having a bit of trouble lately. Right now he is remodeling the basement.  Well, really just cleaning it up and moving a wall and finishing up some stuff he started long ago.  The hope is to have a little more space and a little more sanity.  Don't worry, though, we'll still be The Crazy House.  It would take more than a finished basement to change that!!!

As for me, I am just trying to survive!  Being The Crazy Mom ain't easy.  Sometimes I think I am going to really go nuts around here with all the noise and commotion.   Of course, as you know if you read this blog, I am working, well, volunteering really, as a reviewer for The Old Schoolhouse Magazine Homeschool Crew.  I have been getting all kids of homeschool products, most of them really great, to review and blog about.  It's the perfect fit for me because I get things to try for free, my favorite price, and I get to blog about them to all of you.  Because I love to write, I can have a little something to do "for me" and still be benefitting my family, hopefully the product vendors, and all of you our there who homeschool.  It's a win, win, win, win situation. 

Of course I can't end this list of highlights without mentioning our big vacation!  We all packed ourselves into a motorhome, along with my in-laws and the dog, and visited Pike's Peak, the Painted Desert, the Petrified Forest, the Grand Canyon, Hollywood, Yosemite, Yellowstone and Mount Rushmore.  It was three weeks of fun and insanity, the Crazy Fam way.  We drove through flat country, the desert, up mountains, in the fog, the wind, the sun and snow.  We even rode through Vegas, Reno and down Rodeo Drive.  We spent most of our nights in Wal*Mart parking lots and ate a lot of sandwiches.  We saw a lot, did a lot, and spent a lot on gas.  I can tell you what, though, I could go a long time without another vacation!  It's too much like work!  LOL

Hope to spend lots of time with you all out here in the blogosphere in '09.  Until then, God Bless you all!!!

Posted in Life in the Crazy House

No, I'm not talking about Iraq.  I'm talking about my all out attack on the fruit flies that have invaded my home. 

I first started seeing the little buggers several weeks ago after I took some watermelon out of the fridge.  My intention was to feed it to my kids later that day.  Well, it seems I forgot all about until a few days later when I lifted the aluminum that covered its end and was met by a small army of fruit flies.

So I trashed the melon and swatted at the flies, killing them all off within a few days.  Or so I thought.  Not long after, I began seeing them again.  I don't know if they were left over from the melon incident, or if they had something to do with the veggies my mom had sent over, but they were back.  I swatted at them again, killing a few here and there, and they seemed to disappear.  Or so I thought again.

Suddenly, unlike King Midas who turned things to gold when he touched them, I was met by a sudden movement of fruit fly troops whenever I would touch something in the kitchen.  They loved my faucet, the glass on my china cabinet, my candles, wet wash cloths, and even my beloved Mr. Clean Magic Erasers!  I decided that it was time to institute a no fly zone in my kitchen.

I started by Googling "how to kill fruit flies."  Most of the ideas involved putting fruit in a glass jar and covering it with plastic wrap, and then poking holes in so that the flies would go in, but couldn't come out.  Of course, I didn't have any plastic wrap, but Sunday I did try inverting a Slurpee cup lid in a large Slurpee cup with an old rag and a piece of fruit in it.  I noticed the flies loved to land on the cup, but once I got near it they scattered. 

I went to church that night, and much to my horror they talked about the plagues in Sunday School.  When my five-year-old heard about the plague of flies, he told his teacher that was just like his house!  I knew something had to been done.  And soon.

Finally, on Monday I got to the store and got the plastic wrap.  I tried the glass jar thing but left the Slurpee cup out.  The next morning, I woke to find that not a single fly was in the trap, but several were on the cup. So I took the wrap and very slowly approached the cup and covered it.  It worked!  I trapped some flies! 

Then I remembered that they share my affection for Magic Erasers.  So I took my old eraser and put it in the lid.  The next time I looked, there were lots of the little buggers crawling all over it.  I did another sneak attack and got even more!

So I decided to somehow attach the plastic wrap to the cup so that it would be there and ready when the flies landed.  That didn't seem to work until I devised my master plan.  I took the plastic wrap and wrapped it around the cup so that it was about four inched above it.  Then I stuck the top of it together so it just left an opening about two inches wide.   I left it like that all night long.

The morning came, and there it was.  My little trap was filled with at least 50 flies, chillin' out on my Magic Eraser.  I just pinched the plastic wrap closed and they were trapped.  I went outside and let them go.  Not because the ACLU said I couldn't legally hold them, or because The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals were watching me, but because I was afraid if I opened the plastic to kill them, they would escape in my house.   I just wanted them outta here!

So all day long, every hour or so, I would go out on my porch and let my little POWs go.  I do have to wonder what the neighbors were thinking.  I even went out a few time in my nightgown!  But as the day went by, I was getting less and less flies in my trap.  I do believe that's because the surge worked.

Now, that is not to say all is well.  I am still battling those rotten little flies.  There are still a few around, but at least they don't swarm around every time I touch something.   I'm not ready to pull out yet.  As long as I see fruit flies, I, along with my Slurpee cup, old rag, and Mr. Clean, will continue to fight.  There is no timeline for withdrawl.  I won't leave until the job is done, and every one of those nasty little buggers respects that my house is a no fly zone, and it's gonna stay that way!