Daniel's Den

Feb. 15, 2008 - Things You Learn When You Live In Texas

Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all
four feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in
Texas.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in
Texas, plus a few no one has ever seen before.

Raccoons will test your melon crop, and let you know
when they are ripe.

If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will
bite you!

Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.

There are valid reasons some people put razor wire
around their house.

A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get
stuck.

The wind blows at 90 mph from Oct 2 till June 25; then
it stops totally until October 2.

Onced and twiced are words.

Coldbeer is one word.

People actually grow and eat okra.

Green grass DOES burn.

When you live in the country you don't have to buy a
dog. City people drop them off at your front gate in
the middle of the night.

The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good
for the first few weeks.

When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you,
it's time to see a doctor.

Fix-in-to is one word.

There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There is only
breakfast, dinner and then there's supper.

"Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals, and
you start drinking it when you are two.

"Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about
you.

"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't
matter what time it is. You work until you're done, or
it's too dark to see.

You measure distance in minutes or hours.

You can switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

Stores don't have bags. They have sacks.

You see cars with the engine running in the Wal-mart
parking lot with no one in them, no matter what time
of the year.

All the festivals across the state are named after a
fruit or a vegetable.
You carry jumper cables for your own car.

You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.

You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt,
Pepper, Ketchup, and Tabasco.

You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent.

The local papers cover national and international news
on one page, but require six pages to cover Friday
night high school football.

The first day of deer season is a state holiday.

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm.

The four seasons are: Almost summer, summer, still
summer and Christmas.

You know whether another Texan is from East, West,
North, or South Texas as soon as he opens his mouth.

Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past-time known as
"goin Wal-Martin" or "off to Wally-world."

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as
good chili-eatin' weather.

A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or
pop....It's a Coke regardless of brand or flavor.