Apr. 7, 2008 - What are we thinking?
My husband just left for an interview this morning. He looked sharp, dressed in his shirt and tie and nice pants. He was clean shaven and a handsome picture. But he said he wasn't feeling really sharp and instead had an unusually agitated feeling about the interview. "It's just more of the same thing."
I'm excited about the interview on one hand because it is a chance at staying on course and not disrupting "the plan" we set out on a year ago. We set out for a stable, dependable life for our kids putting our "dreams" on hold until they are on their own. It is a fairly new plan, devised out of the inability to make our dream come true.
But there is an unsettling inside of me too. Like my husband, I have thoroughly THOROUGHLY enjoyed all of the time we have had as a family. We haven't had the stress of a demanding job lingering over us, pushing us along and keeping us from meaningful conversation and time. We have had time to fall in love again and reconnect and remember how it used to be. But you can't live without a job...
We were down on our land this weekend. The field is green. The meadow is full of life again. The earth smelled sweet and the country air was reviving. We opened the rotted windows, cleaned out the cobwebs, wiped down the walls, swept away all of the dead bugs, decluttered, sanitized and aired out the old house. We met the neighbors across the street and another lady from the church down the road. We are sore today from moving brush piles and all of the old junk out of the house. But it is a good feeling. That's what we want. That's our dream.
Going back into the rat race, putting on a tie and talking the talk is not what my husband wants to do today. It's not what I want him to do. But what do we do?
Comments
Apr. 8, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by MountainMommy
Wow, this sounds like a rough decision and a hard season. Although it has been a healing season too. I pray that God will lead your family in the right direction to follow the path He has for you.
