Apr. 11, 2008 - I'M ALIVE!
Wow, I feel more alive than ever. God is good. No, GOD IS GREAT!
To add to "the story", one thing I forgot to mention is "the dream". I did mention my wanderlust as a hippy-wanna-be. But you know how it goes, you add kids to the mix and you really think about settling and trying to give them something close to what you had. Here's what I had...
I had a great family. My dad had some wanderlust of his own and often talked about trading in the sedate life for a life on the road. That always excited me. We never did live on the road but we moved A LOT. And we traveled A LOT. So in a way, I always thought of my home as America, not really just one place. This has been a trouble spot for me because I have always anticipated moving on. Settling down is hard.
This last move was supposed to be our settling. We bought a big ol' house to grow in and see our kids go from little sprouts to the adult world. This was supposed to be home. We bit off a little more than we could chew thinking we would just grow right along with it. But you can take one look at the housing market, the economy and just about everything else decaying in our country right now and you can see we're not living in a stable world. Living in little pink houses isn't the way the world is right now. There is something nasty brewing out there and there need to be people out there to help bring in the sheep, I think.
I'm not poised to bring millions out of poverty or anything like that. But I do have experience in living below the poverty level. And we have experience being unemployed. We have experience between choosing God or choosing drugs and alcohol for comfort. We have been in the fire and we're constantly going back in for refinement. We're people. People choosing to live for God no matter how hard life becomes. And there are a lot of people out there in the world living a hard life.
The person who witnessed to me talked to me like I was just another person. He never made me feel different for not being a believer. He just talked to me. No one ever did that before. I was only judged and criticized for making bad choices and told I was headed for hell. That didn't make me want to embrace Jesus. But seeing someone, struggling with real life, real choices, whether or not to continue pursuing the ministry but knowing how much he loved God and how much God loved him through it all made me wonder what Jesus was about. No one handed me a tract, or invited me to church, or preached that I needed Jesus in my life...they just lived it right before my very eyes. That's what I need to do.
I need to get out there and live right before the eyes of the unbelievers because I love them and I know Jesus loves them and they will never know without more examples. They have been TOLD...but have they SEEN?
So, back to the dream. My husband and I have talked for a very long time about living on the road. We have no idea how to make it happen. We're not even in a position right now to do anything to make it happen. But there is an open door and we're looking through it right now. And I'm thinking, this could be our chance at living a life for Jesus so that others can see the good and the truth about our savior.
"No one lights a lamp and puts it in a place where it will be hidden, or under a bowl. Instead he puts it on a stand, so that those who come may see the light." Luke 11:33
Comments
Apr. 11, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by sixfolks
I have an RV for sale :) Maybe I can live vicariously through your experiences!
Corey
Apr. 11, 2008 - Continuing to pray with you and for you
Posted by kcmyworld
I'm so blessed that you can see God at work, even through this mixed up time. I'm one who could easily pick up and move or wander, but less so now. NM is such an easy place to homeschool, I would be reluctant to leave it for pastures unknown. Enjoy your weekend
Robin
Apr. 13, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by MountainMommy
It sounds like you are on an important journey of discovery right now! It also sounds like you are on the right track and following God's will. Keep it up!
