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Sep. 19, 2007
Thank you Jesus!
 Well, the whining is over. (Did I hear some of you breathe a sigh of relief?) No one is happier about it than I am! For the very first time since I started this long trek with Adrenal Fatigue, I am starting to feel like my old self again. It's not a sudden change, but a gradual feeling of wellness. I forgot how it feels. I am so used to being tired and fatigued and sick that this has taken me by surprise. I know that I have a long way to go because it's easy to fall back into bad habits. But, I feel like I can actually tell what is going on with my body.
I told the doctor once that the hardest part of this whole thing is that I no longer understand anything about what is going on with my body. I get tired for seemingly no reason. I get sick for no reason. Then, viola! I start feeling better. Why? No reason. It drives me crazy. The doctor explained that I had lost my map, but I will get it back again. Isn't that an awesome analogy. I've held onto that explanation, knowing that this doctor has dealt with literally hundreds of adrenal patients. He's explained to me how I will not be able to keep things in perspective because my brain isn't getting enough oxygen. He's explained how my blood sugar is messed up because my adrenals are below regular operating conditions. He's explained how I will get fatigued even when I hear good news because it still stresses my body to feel all that emotion.
I actually feel myself starting to bounce back. I'm still tired, yes, and I have to be careful. But I know what to do now - I know what's causing it. The doctor also explained to me that instead of being surprised at a good day, I will eventually be surprised when I have a bad day! How awesome is that!
I thank the Lord for all He has taught me. I have an abundance of compassion for sick people now. I was mentioning to a friend about how difficult it was for some people to walk the distance at the ladies' retreat and her response was, "It's probably good for them! They need to walk off those extra pounds!" Ouch. But, she was sincere and didn't mean to be offensive. She really felt that way. Maybe I used to, but not anymore. With my dizziness and weariness, I probably wouldn't have made it myself!
I have also been forced to learn to trust God more. One of the main stressors to the adrenal glands is negative emotions. I have worried way too much about my kids, their salvation, their lives. I love them so much and felt like a failure as a parent if they messed up. The worry could literally make me sick with worry. I would spend entire nights awake, worrying about them. Bear in mind, that I had reason to be concerned. I'm not totally crackers, just imagining things. But, it was literally paralyzing me. Call it fear, anxiety, worry, whatever. But, it was real and it was very painful.
Everytime I did not think I could make it another step, God would give me just enough light to make it. Just last night, I happened to pick up a book to browse while waiting for my daughter at her piano lesson. It's called Sticking With Your Teen by Joe White. (If you or someone you know is stuggling with their teen/s, they need this book!) To make a long story short, I cried my eyes out and thanked God over and over for leading me to this book. The encouragement that I found there was unbelievable. And the best part of all was that I really have been doing most things right! Wow. That's good (and surprising!) news.
I will never judge a parent again by how his or her children act and/or live. God has given us all a free will and we will make our own decision. You'll make yours, I'll make mine, and our kids will make theirs. God has taught me so very much and been so good to me. I love Him explicitly and can't imagine living my life without His love, forgiveness, encouragement, and grace. He really is my Wonderful Counselor, the Mighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace. |
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Sep. 19, 2007 - Praise The Lord!
I have also added you to my friends list, as I am glad to meet another Apostolic anywhere!