Last month dh got confronted by his boss with the loaded question of "so what do you think about Atlanta?".......  A few weeks later, the contract was signed for his relocation to Atlanta.  As I watched them tear down more trees and the little beloved red barn in our backyard to make way for a subdivision,  I realized God knew all along that this was going to be the beginning of change. 

I thought seeing my view in my backyard change was hard enough.  Now I will see my entire view of everything change in the next four weeks.  Everywhere I will turn will be a "different view".  Maybe God was preparing my heart to let go of things that are out of my control.  I do have a peace about it, not because I think it will be easy, but because I know He is big enough to take care of me and my family according to His desires. 

 I still question; How will I manage to keep schooling throughout all this?  How will the kids adjust?  How long will it take to sell the house?  How can we possibly find another house with 4 kids in tow??????  I am just one person, how can I do all this and still keep it together?  I don't know....but He does.  Thank you Lord for supplying all my needs according to your riches and glory, may you recieve glory through this process.

I'm really not a tree hugger....However, when I awoke this morning to the distinct sound of wood being snapped in two, I felt a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Like toothpicks being broken in half, the bulldozer was tearing down trees at 6:30 am just beyond the fence line of my small backyard.  We've lived next to a farm for the last 6yrs and have come to love the tall trees and barn in the back that give our home a true Tennessee country feel. 

My girls use to enjoy hopping over the fence with me to visit Mr. Roland, the farmer, and hear his many stories of the old railroad and "his people".  However, a couple of years ago, my husband heard his name being called from behind the barn.  It was Mr. Roland.  He had fallen and broken his hip.  I stayed with him while the ambulance came and prayed with him.  Since then, the farm was sold and Mr. Roland met Jesus face to face this past April.  We've watched the grass grow exceptionally tall and the red paint peel off the barn.  We miss seeing his corn over the fence and the cows that poked their noses in our yard for apples. The property was sold to a developer and early this morning, they began the task of clearing away my beautiful view that held so many wonderful memories.

The snapping and popping of the tree trunks all morning along with the grinding noises of the front ho chewing away the trees almost seemed unbearable to me. I even went out there and spoke to the machine operater in hopes he would be "on my side" and save some trees.  No luck. "Sorry Ma'am, they all gotta come down". I wanted to go in and close all the drapes.  We even turned on music to drown out the noise of the trees cracking. As the day went on, I  kept glancing out my window not ever wanting to take a prolonged look...So it wasn't until later that I realized I was looking for the first time at my back yard with the sun shining down upon it.....

Funny how we hold onto things thinking that we know what is best, or what will make us happy, or what is beautiful.  Yet it's the Lord who is the master designer, knowing just how much clearing our lives need to let His "Son-shine" in on us.