I’m a bit weird.  I listen to an hour of Dave Ramsey’s podcast every morning on the way to work.  He has a nationally syndicated call in talk radio show and makes the 1^st hour of every show available for a free download.  I’ve found that listening to it regularly helps me “exercise” the financial part of my brain and keeps me intensely focused on doing the right things with money.  Trust me, I need it. 

I thought of something this morning as I listened.  I realized that there’s a consistent pattern to the phone calls Dave gets.  He generally gets two types of calls.  There are people who have gotten into a serious situation with debt, and there are people who call in who’ve paid off all their debt (except for the house – that goes into a different category.)  Dave calls it being “DEBT FREE!!!!!!!!!” 

What I noticed was that it’s the wives who are calling in when there are problems, but couples who are calling in to share the good news of being debt free. 

I’ve found this same pattern with couples that I’ve counseled.  Most of the time, if there are financial problems in the home, you can work back through a timeline and point to one of two things.  The first possibility was that the husband mentally checked out of the financial “stuff.”  Instead of being a leader and helping his wife by working as a team, he left her all alone trying to manage the home’s finances. 

The other possibility (and this was my downfall) was that the husband took complete control of the finances.  Even if this is done with the best possible intentions, he’s going to make some serious financial mistakes because he wasn’t working with his wife and listening to her thoughts and ideas about money (which are VERY valuable, trust me.)

Within a few years, either of these scenarios could possibly lead to some serious financial problems. 

What I’ve learned is that I had to involve my wife in the budget process.  I had to listen, value, and act on her opinions about things we needed to do financially.  I had to work with my wife to develop a plan to get out of debt.  We continue to have to work together and stick to that plan.  Any time we stop doing these things (old habits creep back in) we quit “winning” with money. 

Last thought.  Here’s A good place for a couple to start.  Get Dave Ramsey’s “The Total Money Makeover” and read through it together.  It can be a life changing experience.