Feb. 11, 2007 - Shake, Shake, Shake...
Young daughter as I am preparing her for nap time:
"Mommy are you going to lay down with me for a nap today?"
"No honey, not today."
Pause.
"But Mommy..."
"Yes dear?"
"...But Mommy, you are grumpy."
I have felt a bit like cat who has had tape maliciously placed on its back foot and just can't get it off. I have been so easily irritated the past couple of days and just can't seem to shake it. To make matters worse, I become grumpier when I realize how grumpy I am being. GRRRRR.
I know the trigger for this mind set is (besides the obvious lack of quiet times) is rooted in the way I see my house and the fact that I feel like I am always cleaning but that the place is never actually clean. I would be embarassed if for some reason, something happened to me, and someone else had to come in and take over where I left off because I don't think that point could be defined at a glance. I know there are some specific things I could do to keep the house clean and have even managed it on a couple of occassions for a week or two, but I'm always amazed at how, in a blink of an eye, my sweet family can undo everything. I wish it were the other way around. I dislike feeling like I have to crawl out from a mess. I want to be able to say, "See all that I accomplished today!" It comes down to the fact that I want to think that I am good at what I am trying to do, instead of having to face the fact that Christ has promised to be stong in my weakness.
Yuck. I am weak. Teach me Lord, to do what I have not seen done in my own family. Help me to be an example for my children and open to the fact that I am learning new things. Mostly though Lord, help me to remember that true motherhood is not simply a profession with a checklist of things that can be judged in a day. Remind me that motherhood is about the business of realtionships which will only come to full fruit over a lifetime of ordinary days. Help me to be faithful to you in this.
Comments
Feb. 11, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by cammiemelisabray
How do you do that? How do you write things in such an insightful way. Thank you. I always feel like I am crawling out from under a mess too (you've been to my house, you know well). But the relationships with our husband and children are more important. I notice that I get the grumpiest when I am not getting done the things I want to...then I take it out on my Hubby and poor kiddos. I keep trying to do things in my own strength and failing. I too need him to be strong in me. Thanks for the post.
Feb. 11, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by skdenfeld
You nailed it, Cam. As I was writing this it also occured to me that I am attempting to do things in my own strength. That can only get me so far and then I am done. It is nice to now we are not alone in this though.
Feb. 11, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by kimmcrandall
I am right there with you. I really struggle with putting my family aside to fulfill my dream of a clean house. My sense of worth should be in Christ, not what I have gotten done around the house. If we put our families first then we will see the fruits of our labor it's just not immediate gratification. I think that all of us moms need to stop pretending like we have clean houses. If it's clean enough to be healthy than that should make us happy right?
Feb. 12, 2007 - <i>Untitled Comment</i>
Posted by cammiemelisabray
So right Kimm, I know my hubby likes a clean house....but he likes me happy more than that. I think We need to put first thing first. Our kids will only be little for a tiny bit longer, I don't want to miss it because I was freaking out trying to get my house to look like a magazine cover (which is a pipe dream, lol!) I just need to spend like an hour or so conquering the basics and then lavish attention on my babes (not my computer :( , which is a big temptation for me). I'll be praying for all us mamas today! Please pray for me....It IS so awesome we are not alone.
Cammie
Edited by cammiemelisabray on Feb. 12, 2007 at 10:04 AM
Feb. 12, 2007 - I can relate!
Posted by homeschoolhighlites
This is the season of "messy house" for us homeschooling mommies to little ones. When the last one has graduated and off to college, perhaps that will be the season of "House Beautiful"!
Your so right... we need to remember that people are way more important than clean homes! With the Lords help, we will get done what he wills each day.
Feb. 13, 2007 - hugs
Posted by Sweetie
I can SO relate to what you've said! I feel like I'm constantly tidying, cleaning, fixing... only to have to do it again a few hours later... You are not alone!! The time will come when my house is always tidy -- then I'll miss the voices of the little ones and wish it were a mess again just to have them small.