May. 9, 2008 -

There is a flurry of activity around our house today as we are getting ready for our homeschool evaluation on the 16th of this month. OH MY How time has flown this year! I didn't realize how far behind our scrap book actually was until I looked at it. I hadn't updated it since September!! YIKES!! I am already caught up to November. I had to print out like 97 pictures yesterday at the Kodak Picture Maker. I love that thing! No waiting, just instant photos, great cropping, quick fix for your boo boos. I cut and pasted last night until my eyes were crossed! I spent today getting the captions together. I still have far to go, but no worries, it will happen.

I got the portfolios together today also. They have shown progress that is for sure. Of course last year we hit it out of the park. This year we have been crawling at a snails pace. Each year I think is going to have it's own flavor, almost like a marriage, ups and downs. In reflection, it has not been so bad. At least not as bad as I thought. We are still here and I didn't give up. I have high hopes for next year though. At least to keep up with the scrap book a little better. We reflected on the year past and the boys wrote an essay about how they have changed. Here is it:

How We Have Changed This Year

by Matthew and Nathan

Last year we learned about the community and the world around us. We did community service, started recycling and took trips. This year we worked on our family. We worked on our values and relationships. We worked at home.

The biggest change this year is the girls. Fitting them in our family has been really hard. They pull back and push us away. Having two little sisters is annoying. They make bad choices sometimes and do stupid stuff. Some good lessons have come too. We learned that the right thing to do is not always the easy thing to do. Also you should help the weak and small when you can. We learned it is our job to teach Kendra and Kenzie to love.

Everyone has gotten a lot closer. Me and Nathan have built our relationship, so we can stand up to the world together. We act more mature now. We were mortal enemies before the girls came but now we are best friends and brothers.

We have overcome some fears. Nathan worked on his fear of heights. I worked on his fear of big dogs and drowning.

We learned how to stay home alone. How to be responsible, how to use the telephone properly and to handle ourselves when our parents aren’t around.

We have learned how to help Mom because she gets stressed out sometimes with the girls. We have learned to do the dishes, tidy the house and yard, clean the bathroom really fast in case a social worker is coming.

We have learned that we NEVER want to be social workers when we grow up. Social workers have horrible jobs. They have to take kids away. They have to break people’s hearts everyday.

Last of all, we have learned to be thankful for our family. We are thankful that our Mom and Dad never take drugs. We never have to worry about food or being fed. We never have to worry about foster care or social workers. We are thankful for having a home and a house. We are thankful to be healthy and happy. We learned this year that some kids don’t have these things. They live on the streets and have nobody to love them. So we have changed this year. We have grown taller and we have grown bigger in our hearts.

I think it is a true reflection of the year. I didn't edit it for content (spelling/grammar, yes). Matthew used his voice. Nathan helped. It is a far cry from our "goal page" at the beginning of the year, so filled with things to learn. We have learned lessons instead about life, being a good person.

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May. 5, 2008 - Funny Story

I thought I would share a funny story with ya'll and hopefully make you smile!

Yesterday as Nathan was making his toast for breakfast. He was drawing with the honey, drizzling it all around his toast in a sort of very careful fashion. He took a really long time and was very intent on his work. If you have ever met Nathan, you will know this is WAY out of character for him. I was observing him for quite some time, when I asked him what he was doing. His brow was furrowed and he never looked up. "Don't interrupt me, Mom." he said. " I am recreating the life cycle of a cnidaria on my toast before I eat it!" You see, we had learned about cnidaria (or Jellyfish) at science class. Another time I honestly thought that Nathan wasn't listening. He went on to explain the life cycle in all great detail and the weird thing was that I could actually see it in the drips and drizzles of the honey floating on an ocean of butter! I was impressed that he had retained most of the lesson including some of the vocabulary words. I chuckled all day over that.

Homeschooling? Who Knew?

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Apr. 30, 2008 - Science Class

The boys and I have been attending a homeschool science class. This has been a really cool experience for us. We love it and the "socialization" ( I HATE that word!) is great too. The moms are taking turns hosting the class and teaching also. I have hosted twice and I am teaching 2 classes also. I haven't had my turn yet, but I am doing Fish and also Root systems. It is a good program and we are havining alot of fun. There are alot of hands on type activities and the end results are really cool. We ended up with a great Human Body book. We are currently working on a 5 Kingdoms book with tabs on the top. It is going to turn out really neat. We are going to continue through the summer with it, which is great since we do our best school in the summer anyways. The hands on activities are great and Nathan is learning so much. He doesn't seem to but then when we go over the lesson at home, he remembers! Matthew is enjoying being one of the "big kids" in the class, learning a little more in depth than the littler ones. He helps out also with his brother and Charlie.

We love Charlie and his brother Chris. Charlie is 7, with a mop of curly hair and the same barefoot style as Nathan. Their family lives on a canal. It is a cool place to go and visit for an afternoon. Nathan and Charlie are kindred spirits. They became fast friends. Chris is about 12. He and Matthew love to hang out together. Chris has a lizard in his room and plays the guitar. It was so cool to have some boys join our group. We have alot of little girls and if you have ever met Nathan, he has no time for little girls, lol.

So that is all for now, I guess. We are chugging along. I have to shampoo the carpets today. YUCK!

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Apr. 28, 2008 - Much Ado Over A Popsicle

Calling all moms (and dad's) out there is cyberspace!! As warmer temps arrive for all of us, it is time for the yearly ritual of making popsicles. We do this for a multitude of reasons.

1. Health: Nathan is allergic to artificial colors, and none of us need that stuff in our bodies anyways. The ingredients in a commercially available popsicle are just chemicals and coloring which tastes good, but is gross. Corn syrup is bad for you/makes you fat. Even the "natural" ones have chemicals in them.

2. Cost: We try to be thrifty in all things and if you have priced a popsicle lately.....you know what I am talking about. They are outrageous for what you get.....colored sugar water! A plastic popsicle mold is $1 at the Dollar Tree and it makes 4 pops. I have 2 now and will be purchasing 2 more by the end of the summer. I was rummaging around my fridge at noon time scavenging for stuff for popsicles. Any bit of this or that will do. I made some homemade lemonade yesterday out of some lemon juice (free lemons of my friends tree) that I had frozen, so I used the last of that. So homemade popsicles help use up the little scraps of fruit, juice, yogurt, ect in the fridge instead of them going in the trash. THey are good for fruit that is right on the edge also, just put it in the smoothie maker and voila! A treat! instead of trash.

3 The environment: Commercial popsicles are over packaged and the materials are not great on the decomposition end either. Wood for the sticks? well....trees still die for that. Plastic wrapping on the inside of that paper makes it not compost very well. They come in a bag or box that if not recycled, ends up making for alot of trash in the landfill. When they get broken or wear out/leak the plastic molds can be recycled into something else, instead of going in the trash also, but they last forever. We are working on our 3rd summer with the ones we have now.

4. Commercialism:  The commercialism you buy into by getting the Scooby Doo or Sponge Bob Square Pants on the box kind or worse......the kind they saw on TV!! Don't get me wrong, my boys watch Saturday morning cartoons and they used to ask. Now they know better. I have always strived to make my boys smart consumers, still working on the girls, and for them it started with popsicles and breakfast cereal. (head shaking) poor things.... It is just an early lesson in having to have the "right brand" to be cool.

So that is about all I have to say about popsicles....lol. I know it is a strong stance (tongue in cheek) but the lesson is deeper that just a popsicle. It is about thought. About what goes in your body, what you spend your money on, what the products you buy do to the Earth, about choice. It only takes about 2 minutes out of my day to provide a health snack for my children. So anyone out there have any new ideas as to what to make them out of?? By the end of the summer I have just about run out of creativity......

 

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Apr. 26, 2008 - The courage to try

Cyndie.....if God gave us the outcome of every situation, we wouldn't have the courage to try. That is God's true gift to you.....courage. Don't you see that? Determination, that unfaltering spirit you have and the courage to try. Rest easy in that you have been given these gifts to see you through and give up on the outcome.  

Those are the words that my almost 90 year old grandmother said to me when I called her on her birthday. She asked me how things were going with the girls and I was going on about being unsure of what was to come of them. What my role was in all this mess. I have been chewing on those words now for days. I hope I am nearly that wise when I am that old. I was very grounded by her thought. She is ,of course, right. I just couldn't see the forest, but for the trees, I guess. I have become so calm thinking about it that way.

I have been in a good place. Not so frantic all the time. Sleeping more, less coffee, more excersize, less worry. The boys and I played PayDay after they finished up their school work the other day. Outside on the picnic table in the shade, we played and let the phone ring, never answering it. It was like old times. I could tell that we were really connected, like we hadn't been in a long time. Tears stung my eyes as I realized how far apart we have been. Things have been left behind along the way. I have been hanging laundry alot lately. That is my thinking time, all alone. I love hanging laundry, I know it is silly, but I need it. I need the time to just think. It is theraputic for me and it helps the environment. The pool is blue and gorgeous this year. We have already been swimming almost everyday. I am so glad to be here.

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Apr. 24, 2008 - Am I back?

Well???.......Maybe. I have been better all week about sleeping, eating at the table, cutting back on coffee, reading my book, not being so stressed all the time and keeping up with the housework.

I even got on the treadmill this morning before I took the girls to school! You would think I was dying right now, but I feel ALIVE!! I feel more energized than I have in months......really! As I started this morning I thought, Ah Jeepers.....This is gonna be terrible!! About 10 minutes in I was sweating and really digging in........ and SMILING!! yes, you heard right, smiling   , jamming to the music, working my body! I felt great and I have been so happy all day. At around 3pm today, Matthew and I did some Yoga stretches in the living room, that was amazing. I felt so......zen.  Yoga brings my body peace, I love the way it feels. I have felt so tired for so long. Caffiene fueled, strung out. Not today!

I think what happened was, I was so caught up in pleasing every one else that I forgot to please me. I didn't take any time for my needs. I know that a mother is about giving at all times, but what sort of mother was I? Tired, grumpy, house a wreck, life a wreck, not fueled to teach, depressed at times. I was so caught up in the drama of the girls that I let everything else go until it consumed me. I have let most of that go. It is not an easy thing by any stretch of the imagination. I can't say I have let it all go either, just most of it. I have been crawling around in my head over this week trying to figure it all out. That is the best I can come up with. I was so worried about taking care of everyone and every little thing that I forgot about myself. I need to do the things that make me.....me. Otherwise I am no good to anyone. It is self actualizing, truly, to take a look inward and see that things are not working in your life. To fix them is even better.....

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Apr. 21, 2008 - So proud of my friend.....

 

I am so proud of my best friend, Kim. Today, she passed her driver's test!! She has been working and practicing so hard. She failed a few months ago. I was proud of her then for even trying. There have been big hurdles for her to overcome self confidence wise. I knew she could do it all along. I also want to say she has set an exellent example for her own daughters as well. Even if you are scared or you think you are too old to learn, if you set your mind to it, you can do it. Believe and acheive!

I am so proud of you, Kim. I knew you had it inside yourself to pass the test! Congratulations Momma!!

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Apr. 19, 2008 -

I have found something new that I just love. My friend Kim came over the other night and made sushi bowls for us. This is my new food love! Spicy shrimp ( these were cooked, but cold) jasmine rice, shredded lettuce, cucumber, carrots, and rice wine vinegar. It was THE BEST!! I love seafood anyways and all these foods are super yummy and healthy. See I try to avoid wheat when I can. I love it, but it does not love me. It makes me breakout on my face, my joints get achy and I gain weight because I can't digest it. I don't know if I am truly allergic to it, because I have MANY food allergies. It doesn't seem to effect me in the same way as the others, but it is really not good if I eat too much. Anyways, I think I will switch the rice to brown rice if I eat this dish all summer. It was delicious and she gave me some great ideas for some other seafood to go in it besides the spicy shrimp. I am so blessed to have a very good friend that actually works in seafood to show me something new, lol.

So I need some new recipes that will feed a crowd, like about 15 - 18 people, not expensive, not to complicated either. We feed at least 13 every Sunday, but leftovers are always welcome. We are also feeding 3 teenage boys, 2 "growing like weeds" boys, 2 men and 2 little girls who are never able to get full. The adults were sitting around chatting when the men said they were ready for us ladies to wow them with something new to eat......We smiled and accepted the challenge. We all really love to eat and eating together just makes the food taste that much better. So if you have a great recipe that feeds a crowd I would love to hear it.

On my front, things are going well. I am making an effort to take time. DH and I watched a movie together last night together. We put the kids to bed early after an afternoon in the pool. It was nice to just have quiet. I read yesterday a little, volunteered on Kendra's Kindergarten field trip. Supper was quick, soup and sandwiches, but it was hot and I wasn't worried about it. The children and DH requested it. So now on with it......

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Apr. 17, 2008 -

DH decided that for now we are going with a prepackaged curric. Normally I would be against this whole heartedly. Since we really are just floating along with out any sense of where we are going, this is the best choice for now. I think we can get back to the "mommy style" later when I have more time to plan my lessons. It is going pretty well. It took the boys a couple of days to remember how to underline this and circle that. Multiple choice is not something they are used to either, but it beats putting them back into public school. They are being good sports about it and it has lightened the load on me. We got the books at Barnes and Noble. 5th grade for Matthew and 2nd grade for Nathan. All this nonesense has effected Nathan's learning the most. He know his multiplication tables up to 6 and he does read ALOT better now than he did at the beginning of the year. Other than that, not alot of progress. One thing we did do everyday was at least read, so that shows. Matthew's writing has come so far. If we did nothing else in our day, he did write. He learned so much about writing, sentences, structure, so on. He has had some struggles with his dysgraphia, but over all I think he has shown much improvement. He reads everyday anyway, he loves magazines. Boys Life, GameInformer (which I hate, but at least he is reading) He gets magazines from the library too. Whatever catches his eye. He even reads Time and Newsweek if there is a cool article on a new airplane or military/war type thing. So over all not soooo bad. These new books are already helping, so DH was right. It has lightened my load.

I baked some banana bread and read a little over the past 2 days. It felt really good to have something in the oven. To smell it cooking, fill the house with that yummy aroma. The boys were drawn to the oven peeking in the door. It made me smile. So far no dinner at the table, but I am working on it. One thing at a time, it all can't come back at once. I think today I will make some applesauce muffins while the boys are working. I also dyed my hair yesterday. I had let it go for so long and it did look awful. So that was a nice boost. The girls had to go in town for an appt. So I put on some new clothes that I got at the thrift store the other day with my friend Kim, some makeup. I shined up like a new penny and I am skinny now. 122 pounds! I have lost a full 20 pounds now from my peak. I need to start walking on the treadmill again, just for the heart health, not to lose anymore weight. I think it will help me feel better also, excersize gives you a boost! I always feel so good when I am doing the treadmill, strong, healthy. I was planning to work and now I am working my plan.....which means getting off the computer and getting on with it.

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Apr. 15, 2008 -

I haven't been blogging at all lately.......I know this. You see. this is a place for all my innermost thoughts to lay. The things that are going on in my head and heart are expressed here. There is an unbalanced energy around me and yes I have changed.

I know I have changed because I have been told by a few people that love me......that I have. An honest look inward (man, those hurt) finds that I HAVE changed. Am I the person I once was? NO, honestly. I am a bit cynical actually. I don't think I was that way before, it catches people off guard.  Life has trampled on me a little. Hope has been squished, faith tested. I forget to be thankful in all things even the horrid ones. Moments of happiness? sure....but have I lost that zest for living? I don't think so.... My moments of quiet reflection are for sure gone.  Those grounding moments captured in time to think are gone also. These are important to who I am, so I think that is why people say I have changed. I don't read anymore, this is something I take great joy in. Educating my mind, giving my brain something new, but I simply don't have the time mostly. My brain mostly races with the same cruddy thinking, what about the girls, what about the boys, what about DH, what about the house? I find myself with nothing new to say, that is not me either. If you know me.....I always have something to say (smile)  I am overwhelmed mostly, house a wreck, nothing pulled out for dinner. We haven't even been eating at the table anymore. Just grab a plate and find a clear spot. No homemade cookies for dessert. Nothing baking? This is not me either. So as I blog, I can see that there are things missing from who I am. No wonder I have "changed"....huh. The missing things are the very things that define me..... guess I better work on that.

Our business is a little rough right now, has been since about August. It is the first wave of the economic downturn. Folks just can't afford it all, so the rent has to go and they are mostly moving in with family. This is hard on the heart of a landlord, but if you don't pay, you don't stay. Those are the hard and fast rules, even if they are awful. We have been working with DH some, not focused on schooling like we should be. We have done alot of tree work this year. Times are tough and the tree guys are working for cheap, so we are trying to help them out and get some stuff done for the upcoming hurricane season. This is work the boys and I can help out with. Also cleaning the empty units, so they are ready to re-rent. We have had 4 empties in one month and we have 2 more coming may 1st. I re-rented them all. I am taking calls on the 2 new ones. We are having to lower rents to get them filled, but we can't have them empty.

So I guess I have some work to do to get things back on track. No excuses, just work to be done now.

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Mar. 27, 2008 - full circle

Here is BIGfamily before the girls entered our lives. I had met the birth mother the night before, shook hands with her. Not knowing that there were 2 little girls out there that would soon need us. Do you notice in the picture there are 2 spots empty? It was like we were waiting for them. This was our first weekend together January 07. The first time the children had met each other. Body language was a little stiff, manners were still in full effect. I look at this pic alot and laugh. How far we have come together, how the children have grown, how much we all love each other now.

 

Now look at us! Complete, Body language says we are relaxed, we love each other. We had such a great weekend, so full of laughing and good times. It was wonderful to go back to the same spot and take this new picture. This time there are no spots empty. I have to say the grownups were all smiles as we snapped this pic. It was a very sweet thing for us all.

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Mar. 20, 2008 - another step closer`

There has been some developments, moving toward closure for the girls. I remain steady, unable to let a flicker of hope build beyond just that ....a flicker. I dare not hope or be too optimistic because I have been there only to have my heart crushed.

We went yesterday for an "intake" which is an information gathering session, with the counseling center that will oversee the next birth parent visit. It is only 45 minutes from our home. The person overseeing this visit will determine if there are any more to follow. The judge ruled that there could be more visits during the birth parents appeal on their Termination of Parental Rights. Normally, there are no more visits during the appeal, but our judge is very liberal and left it up to this new person to decide. I pray that they are wise and stop it all together.

The girls missed the visit for Feb. Kendra is now calling me Mommy full time now, not using it as a weapon to gain favor. I told her it did not effect me, her calling me mommy or Cyndie and not to use it to "get something" (This worked with her birth mother, but not with me) Alot of her nervous habits are lessened. She can dress for school without tears. It has been a blessing. Kenzie is drawing pictures of herself, happy at the beach, BIG family, all together, holding hands, smiling, flowers in the background. When Kenzie is happy, she draws.

Matthew and Nathan are the same, playing and riding bikes. DH and I are trying to make sure they don't get lost in the shuffle of all this. That they are not pushed to the side in order for us to deal with everything going on around them. It has been a struggle, but worth every moment. So that is all for now, I have more to post and pictures too, but not today.....

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Mar. 10, 2008 - We will know even more today....

I know I have been terribly remiss in posting, however I have remained in deep thought and prayer over the girls and what is to become of them. I have tried to fill their days with flying kites, riding bikes and all the little things that families do. We have surrounded them with love and family at every chance. There is a permanency hearing today to see what the judge has determined as to the fate of these girls. The parental rights were terminated on February 25th, however this really does not mean a whole lot. The parents have an appeal, which takes a year and they can still receive their visits during that time. They cannot be adopted during this time, so they cannot begin their lives, cannot give their whole hearts to our family, cannot feel safe in knowing that they are here forever.

I have been inside my own head alot, searching for my lesson here. Trying to fulfill my purpose. It has been difficult for me and I know that sharing it may have been easier, but searching one's soul is a deeply personal thing. We are still sort of trying to see where all the pieces fit in this. Running scenario after scenario, hypothetical situations, what will you do if......I hope to come out a little wiser for all this, probably alot tougher too. So we will know even more after today. Again sorry for not posting, I just don't think I was ready. 

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Feb. 17, 2008 - We did walk....

beside calm waters on Wednesday. The judge is giving a decision on February 25th. We are hopeful. Things seemed to have gone in our favor. Something happened in the courtroom. I am not aware what it was, but everyone came out and said that our case was now a "slam dunk". This was due to the actions and testimony given by all involved. DH and I were not called to testify, but remained on standby if we were needed all day. It was a lesson in patience to say the least. We got there at 10am and left at 3:30pm. I brought a book, MP3 player and some homeschooling papers to go over. I read the same page over and over, while my mind raced, thinking of what was going on inside. We were not allowed to enter the courtroom and it is probably better off that way. I think I would have been more worried had I heard what was going on. Some things are better off left unknown. So we were calm, but pensive. Wondering what was going on. When they broke for lunch, we went and got a sandwich to split, then walked back to the courthouse. The lawyers never called me, so I guess they didn't feel like they needed me to add anything to the case. That is fine with me. I wasn't nervous really. I knew that there is a plan in place for these girls and I had to trust in it. I knew that it was already set in motion long before and that no matter what I was to trust in it.

The night before court we got a wonderful phonecall. Our adoption homestudy is approved. We are now a fully approved, pre-adoptive home. This means that we can bring Children's Home Society our Termination of Parental Rights Ruling and the girls will be ours in about 90 days. I am so hopeful. Of course we are not out of the woods yet. The birth parents still have an appeal process to drag us through. This process takes about 1 year and they can still petition the court to have their visitation during this time. I remain once more hopeful that the judge in his wisdom can see that the visits disturb the girls, make them uncertain of their future. So we are sort of holding our breath for Monday the 25th (metaphorically) now. All we can do is wait and trust. It is a good place to be, heart and head, soul at peace with it all. I am so thankful to be in this place. I will update when we know anything.

Thank you for all the prayers.......

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Feb. 11, 2008 - Court is on Wednesday....

Alright, here is a post on the girls. We have court on Wednesday Feb. 13th at 10:30am. DH and I will be making that big trip to Tampa to sit in the hallway. We aren't being allowed to testify (again...sigh), but we feel we have to go and at least put in an appearance. I can't help but feel that if the judge wanted to meet the perspective adoptive parents and they  (we) didn't show up, that it would somehow look bad on us. He hasn't asked, but that doesn't mean he won't.

There is a day of testimony to add to the Termination of Parental Rights Trial that was held in March '07. I don't understand why, but I am the willow. Today as I am everyday. I have been happy, at peace with everything. I know I have to trust in the plan, what ever it is. If I truly believe in purpose and plan, then now is the time to believe more than ever.  Even if the girls are not allowed to stay......and I know there are those of you out there that will say NO, that is not going to happen......There has been a purpose to all this and I just have to figure out what it was.

We are blessed and thankful today and everyday to have the support of friends and family and BIGfamily. We have gathered in a circle around these girls and lifted them up higher than they have ever been. They have had happiness beyond happiness and known what a home is here. They have known safety and kindness here. They have known what having a real family is, what it is to love and be loved for the right reasons. They have known full bellies and fuller hearts here. I hope they have felt the warmth of  a true mother's love here. I have tried beyond limits to show them that, above all things. Celebrations, birthdays, Christmas, days filled with running in the sunshine here. They have learned to let their guard down every now and then. They have learned what is important here. If they have to leave our home, I pray that my purpose was to teach them these things before they left me. For them to know all these things, to experience them just once, to feel those feelings. So please pray with us for the girls....Kendra and Kenzie, that they can continue to learn, to feel and to know.....

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Feb. 7, 2008 -

Music is something that is very important to me, something that is close to my heart. I love music and for those of you who know me in real life, I sing and dance all day, everyday. I love any and all types of music, except rap ( I tried it.... it just wasn't for me). Depends on my mood what is in my ears. I roll around between pop, dance, heavy metal, country, alternative, gospel and hymns, folk music, you name it, fast, slow just whatever I am in the mood for. I have a collection that spans decades....literally.  When there is no music to sing along to....I just sing. Another thing about me....I know all the words to almost any song that I have ever heard. Even if I haven't heard it in years. I only have to listen to it a few times to get it down too. That is how you can tell I am truly happy, if I am singing when there is no music to sing with. I would like to say I have a good singing voice, not so awful on the ears as some. I mean I'm no Carrie Underwood, but I am a TOTAL karioke queen, lol. On the other hand, if I am sad, I can't listen to any music and I don't sing. I  can't say I love any one genre more than another. I have favorites from them all. There is a sound track to my life, songs played at certain moments. Summers gone by, remembered when I hear a song, love shared, sadness, moments in time, special or not, just moments. My Matthew is just like me, sings all day. He's not bad either. He has the same gift..... words and music. Nathan also loves music, his taste is a little heavier than mine, he's my rocker! The girls LOVE music, I don't know if they ever had anyone share it with them before on this level. They sing along and love karioke too. I have to say...Hannah Montana was great the first 4 billion times, but now? I can do with out it.

I got a really cool MP3 player for Christmas. DH spoils me so...it is the best! I already have over 200 songs on it. I listen to it everyday. My heart is full when I hear music, so my heart has been pretty over flowed lately! It is pink and I also got a new pink cell phone under the tree. I love both gifts, even though I am not a huge person for "things". I prefer experiences actually, but this has enhanced a few experiences already.

One thing I have noticed about all this MP3 and IPOD stuff is that music was once something to be shared and now it has become more personal, more intimate. Just you and the music inside your head phones, alone in your brain. I sort of like it, but then again, I like rattling around in my brain anyways. (eye roll)  I have caught myself a couple of times already not sharing music with the children, so I have to remember to put it on the CD player and share. I also had my first case of what I call IPODitis. When you have your headphones on, hair down and so no one can see you have them. You're listening to music and someone is calling your name. They get irritated when you take off the headphones after noticing them trying to get your attention and say "what?". Happened to me at Nathan's basketball practice the other night. MP3 and a good book? Nobody was interupting that, lol. But still....something to look out for.

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Feb. 1, 2008 - Photos of our sunrise

It is a family tradition to go to the beach on New Year's morning and see the sun rise on the new year. This was especially important this year as we needed to leave negative behind and focus on good. This will be a rebuilding year for the girls as we are praying that we can give that sense of "forever" for them. We had most of BIGfamily with us that morning and my mom and dad also. My heart was so full. To have the ones you love surrounding you in such a magical moment  leaves me speechless. We are so blessed. I hope you enjoy them. Photography really is my passion. Every year I get a silhoutte of the boys in the sunrise. Experiences such as these are priceless to me.

 

Here are all 4 children playing in the surf at the break of day. Matthew and Kenzie are closer, Nathan in the water and Kendra with her umbrella rolling in the sand. It is a true reflection of their personalities as well. It is my favorite photo of that morning.

 

The girls with their umbrellas looking for the sun. It was a little rainy when we first got there.

 

Here is my favorite picture of the sunrise. The sky and the sea were moody early that morning, sort of like the year that had past, but once the sun rose.....it was a gorgeous day filled with memories.

And finally here we are...little family! What a morning, one I will not soon forget......

 

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Jan. 30, 2008 - Valentine's Day is coming

Oh Valentines Day is coming. It is one of my favorite holidays. I just love the decorations and flowers. I know that it is just a commercialized version, but still......There is something to be said for telling the ones you love how much you care. You should do it everyday and any day you have the chance, but this day is special to me, I guess. I went to the DollarTree this morning and saw all there was to see. I bought the children their valentine cards. We got some stuff to decorate our tissue boxes with also.

I posted on our local homeschool board about the boys always being a little down this time of year. When they were in public school they always had lots of "friends" to swap valentine cards with. These were not true friends, just the kids in their class, but still. So not being able to have the party and give out the cards always makes them a little blue. I suggested on the post board a park afternoon on the 14th with a card exchange and party. The idea was a hit and we have one planned. Everyone is very excited. We got the cards today and will start filling them out next week.  We also bought the plates, cups, napkins, all with hearts of course. I think there will be quite a few families out at the park. The boys have been much more chipper about it and they have some great friends to share with. Some yummy sweet treats won't hurt either!

 

 

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Jan. 28, 2008 -

Yesterday was one of those days that goes down in the memory books. We went up to our farm with BIGfamily and played all afternoon. We put a new roof on the old farm house over the last couple of weeks, so there was a ton of debris. Old shingles and wood. We had a dumpster dropped off on Friday and went to town. It was beautiful outside. About 67 degrees, sunny, breezy. The big boys worked on getting everything in the dumpster. They didn't finish,but there is more time left on the dumpster rental,so no worries. The little ones played on the giant dirt pile and got SO dirty!  We raked and made a big leaf/stick pile. We brought our grill up there and had hamburgers and hot dogs, potato salad and chips. Even soda! Outside eating around the fire DH started. It was the best. The children were dirty and happy, tired from playing so hard. It was wonderful to bring them home and put them in a warm bath, then straight to bed. They slept like rocks, in bed a full hour early. DH and I hung out and watched a movie, NO KIDS!! We were in bed and asleep by 11pm.

It was a day that didn't cost alot of money. No disney or shopping spree, but I know my kids will remember that one for a long time. It was like magic. Watching them work and play so hard. They were so hungry from all the country air. They were so happy and the grownups were too. Some days....you want to put in a bottle and save. This was one of them.

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Jan. 23, 2008 - Scattergories tag!

Scattergories is one of my favorite games! I have always loved it. So here goes! I am going to do "W" since my last name starts with it and also I think it will be more fun than "C". Everyone seems to be doing "C" anyway. Something different!

What is your name?  Last name starts with "W"
4 letter word: Will ~ as in free will
Vehicle: Wagon
City: Walla Walla, Washington
Boys name:  Wyatt, William
Girls name:  Willow, Wednesday
Movie: War of the Worlds
Occupation: Window Washer
Something you wear: Winter coat (we don't wear these in Florida!) Wool socks
Celebrity: Mark Wahlberg
Food: Wheat bread
Something found in a kitchen: Window
Something found in a bathroom: Washcloth
Reason for being late: Weather
Cartoon character: Wile E. Coyote
Something you shout: WATCH OUT!! 
Animal:   Walrus
Body part: Wing? for a bird...this is a body part
Word to describe you: Wicked, Weird, Warped, Wild, Wacky

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