Apr. 15, 2008 -
I haven't been blogging at all lately.......I know this. You see. this is a place for all my innermost thoughts to lay. The things that are going on in my head and heart are expressed here. There is an unbalanced energy around me and yes I have changed.
I know I have changed because I have been told by a few people that love me......that I have. An honest look inward (man, those hurt) finds that I HAVE changed. Am I the person I once was? NO, honestly. I am a bit cynical actually. I don't think I was that way before, it catches people off guard. Life has trampled on me a little. Hope has been squished, faith tested. I forget to be thankful in all things even the horrid ones. Moments of happiness? sure....but have I lost that zest for living? I don't think so.... My moments of quiet reflection are for sure gone. Those grounding moments captured in time to think are gone also. These are important to who I am, so I think that is why people say I have changed. I don't read anymore, this is something I take great joy in. Educating my mind, giving my brain something new, but I simply don't have the time mostly. My brain mostly races with the same cruddy thinking, what about the girls, what about the boys, what about DH, what about the house? I find myself with nothing new to say, that is not me either. If you know me.....I always have something to say (smile) I am overwhelmed mostly, house a wreck, nothing pulled out for dinner. We haven't even been eating at the table anymore. Just grab a plate and find a clear spot. No homemade cookies for dessert. Nothing baking? This is not me either. So as I blog, I can see that there are things missing from who I am. No wonder I have "changed"....huh. The missing things are the very things that define me..... guess I better work on that.
Our business is a little rough right now, has been since about August. It is the first wave of the economic downturn. Folks just can't afford it all, so the rent has to go and they are mostly moving in with family. This is hard on the heart of a landlord, but if you don't pay, you don't stay. Those are the hard and fast rules, even if they are awful. We have been working with DH some, not focused on schooling like we should be. We have done alot of tree work this year. Times are tough and the tree guys are working for cheap, so we are trying to help them out and get some stuff done for the upcoming hurricane season. This is work the boys and I can help out with. Also cleaning the empty units, so they are ready to re-rent. We have had 4 empties in one month and we have 2 more coming may 1st. I re-rented them all. I am taking calls on the 2 new ones. We are having to lower rents to get them filled, but we can't have them empty.
So I guess I have some work to do to get things back on track. No excuses, just work to be done now.
Comments
Apr. 15, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by 4sweetums
Praying that things will return to some form of normal for you. The economic downturn is really starting to affect people. I hope you all can do ok through it.
Blessings,
Dawn
Apr. 15, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
Make some time each day for a little scripture and you'll find your days are a little bit easier :) Just some food for your sole.
Apr. 16, 2008 - I understand how serious this all is.
Posted by REInvestor
We are still very stable in our rental business, but I wonder sometimes how things are going to hit. What I have seen is more new families moving in with several generations together in order to save money. That is fine as long as they can get along. So yes, I know what you mean.
I think you are still reeling from doubling your family overnight, plus the instability of knowing the future for the girls. You are so right, that you need to get back to finding time for some of those stabalizing activities in your life.
Apr. 16, 2008 - Been Thinking of You
Posted by Jaimers
Sorry to hear of your rough patch, but I can officially relate to that one. I often wonder if I'm doing more harm to my kids mental state when I'm in the "depression of all around me" mode.
Stay focused on God and he will bring you through it. Often times our kids silently judge how we deal with real stress and will learn how to apply that in their lives.
Keep Your Chin Up! ~ jaimers
Apr. 17, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by CrossView
Praying you get your bounce back soon! =)
