Apr. 26, 2008 - The courage to try
Cyndie.....if God gave us the outcome of every situation, we wouldn't have the courage to try. That is God's true gift to you.....courage. Don't you see that? Determination, that unfaltering spirit you have and the courage to try. Rest easy in that you have been given these gifts to see you through and give up on the outcome.
Those are the words that my almost 90 year old grandmother said to me when I called her on her birthday. She asked me how things were going with the girls and I was going on about being unsure of what was to come of them. What my role was in all this mess. I have been chewing on those words now for days. I hope I am nearly that wise when I am that old. I was very grounded by her thought. She is ,of course, right. I just couldn't see the forest, but for the trees, I guess. I have become so calm thinking about it that way.
I have been in a good place. Not so frantic all the time. Sleeping more, less coffee, more excersize, less worry. The boys and I played PayDay after they finished up their school work the other day. Outside on the picnic table in the shade, we played and let the phone ring, never answering it. It was like old times. I could tell that we were really connected, like we hadn't been in a long time. Tears stung my eyes as I realized how far apart we have been. Things have been left behind along the way. I have been hanging laundry alot lately. That is my thinking time, all alone. I love hanging laundry, I know it is silly, but I need it. I need the time to just think. It is theraputic for me and it helps the environment. The pool is blue and gorgeous this year. We have already been swimming almost everyday. I am so glad to be here.
Comments
Apr. 26, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by 4sweetums
I am glad that you are finding space for yourself. I am glad you are getting that connection time with your boys as well. Hopefully this roller coaster ride will be over soon.
Blessings,
Dawn
