"If character is the foundation of true education, then the heart is the foundation of true character."

 

"The heart is the soil on which the foundation of true character is laid."

 

"Lasting positive influence rarely takes place, especially in the areas of values and faith, in an environment of a strained relationship, or where there is little or no respect."

 

Oohh... How true this is!

"If we turn a blind eye when our children cheat in a game, exaggerate facts, take more than their share, or blame others for their conflicts, we build our homes around their sin."

 

"How wise if we teach our children first how to benefit when they are wronged.  We can encourage them in faith, and help them to see that God is bigger than whatever trials may come, and that He is often more interested in their responses to their trials than in their vindication or reward.  Children should benefit from their trials, just as we adults are supposed to.  They can be taught discretion, in learning when to speak up for a cause, and when to be silent.  They can began to cry out to the Lord first when they are wronged, or grow in patience and mercy and forgiveness."

 

"It is only right that we win the hearts of those for whom we have primary responsibiity, before we take on the responsibilies of other men's hearts for the Lord.  We actually earn the right to fish for other men's hearts by our obedience to fish first for hearts within our own families."

 

"Winning a child's heart is keeping a oneness of fellowship and understanding between us, without compromising God's standards."

 

"When we make a mistake, when we overcorrect, when we offend, the fastest way to regain credibility and solid ground in their hearts again is to quickly admit it."

 

"Admitting our faults to ur children not only keeps walls from going up between their hearts and us, it teaches them by example how to admit their own faults."

 

"it can be difficult for children to trust God with their lives, when they were unable to trust their parents with their hearts."

 

"A child's heart cannon be truly won in there is not respect for theone who seeks to win it."

 

"It is earned by the ways in which we live our lives, and by the ways in which we interact with them, with kindness and patience and respect."

 

Mardy also notes that "giving instruction softly and privately" is a way to build respect.  Good point!

 

In the section titled Learn to Listen, Mardy says "I have since learned that the "art of listening" involves hearing through the words to attitudes and needs."

 

"Listening is where real living takes place, where feelings are shared, hearts are opened up, lives bond, courses are changes, and maybe even history is made.  Listening to our children is something that should take precedence over our school planner.  It is so important to listen to our children."

 

"If we can shift our mental position from confrontation to a position of coming alongside to instruct, direct and support, the end result will be less conflicts and ultimatums."

 

"Taking the position that we are on the same path, and that we have felt the same feelings, made the same mistakes (and even made worse mistakes), does not diminish our authority as parents -- it gives us credibilty."

 

"Our children need to hear (over and over) that they are very special to God, very special to us, and a very special part of a bigger picture."

 

A final closing thought...

"The struggle to win their hearts is with our own nature, and with their nature, and with the influences of our self-centered culture, and sometimes with self-centered doctrines that teach that God owes us all lives full of happiness, free of suffereing and consequences, or many other things we each individually battle."

 

Wow!  Wasn't that good stuff?!  On to Chapter 3!!!