The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out.  Lord McCaulay

Oohh... this chapter has some really good thoughts to ponder!

"If it is a character problem, we are wasting time and effort if we cut at the fruit, but do not pull up the root."

"If a child is displaying weak character when he is not yet ten, those problems will not just go away when he becomes an adolescent.  Typically, adolescence is a time of harvest, producing bumper crops of either good fruit or bad."

...on nipping 'weeds' in the bud...

"But we do so gently, and one at a time, until our children are trained to pluck their own weeds, and to judge themselves with right judgment."

"However, sometimes when I am dealing with my children's character weaknesses, I find myself overreacting to him.  I then find that praying is the last thing that I feel like doing!  When I get "liek that," it is always a red-flag warning for me that there is another issue (in my own life or attitude) that I must deal with first, if I am to successfully help my child."

Oohhh.... :smack:

"What makes things even more difficult is then recognizing that I am reacting to a character weakness in my child that is also in my own life."  ouch.

"We tend to react more harshly toward those who have our particular weaknesses, and once we judge them, it is more difficult for us to become free."

"Truth and principles never change, but rules may.  We want to teach our children how to live by principles."  This same thought is the thought that is behind how we train our children.  We don't have a lot of 'rules' for them to follow, we just train them to obey us.  Rules may come and go and change, but obedience never does.  I love making that connection!!

"It is not character which tolerates disrespectful words of attitudes in our children; it is weakness."  Boy, haven't you seen a mom or two in WalMart you'd like to share that with?!

Oh, this is priceless!!  "Our child also needs to understand his inability to change his own heart.  If he has already received Jesus Christ as his Savior, then we can remind him that just as he asked for mercy to be saved, so he can also cry out for mercy to be comformed to the image of God's Son."

On The Importance of Forgiveness...  "The moment we nurse an offense, we check ourselves into a prision of expectations, hurts and unforgiveness."

A final thought from Mardy:  "It is so important to identify the root of a problem in our children.  We had to be willing to call sins by their proper names, such as ungratefullness or discontentment, instead of excusing them as being "fussy" or "whiny".  And I have often missed an opportunity to gently lead our children through an open door of forgiveness, because I excused a wrong attitude as "waking up on the wrong side of the bed," or as "just having a bad day," instead of gently prodding for an undetected offense or problem."

Wow!  Did any of that smack you in the head like it did me? 

Thank you Lord for giving Mardy such insight and wisdom and thank you Mardy for your willingness to share it with us.