I know I've been quiet this past week or so, but things have been escalating here at home and we have had to make some hard decisions this past week. I've sat down to blog it several times, but sat looking at a blank screen unable to figure out where to start! So many times I have just felt like such a failure that I didnt' know how to say what we are feeling right now!

   In a nutshell, we have had to ask Social Services to find Sportacus a new home.  We simply can't handle this one any longer. He is still with us while they get some assessments done to determine what exactly he needs before moving him. We simply feel that we dont' have what he needs and they need to find him a carer that does!

   His behaviour is deteriorating swiftly both here and at school. He is biting on everything from putting holes in his clothes to biting chunks out of his bed, to biting holes in his toys and pulling all the stuffing out of them. Last week he tied himself up in his bedding and scared us! If we hadn't checked on him one more time before we went to bed ourselves what could have happened????

   He is ignoring his brother and actually screaming if Pumpkin comes near to him. He is also doing things that could put Pumkin in danger, so it is also being assessed whether it is best for them to remain together or be seperated now! We feel that Sportacus needs to be in a place where he is the only child due to his severe needs.

   We have had meetings this week with social workers and the family which were very difficult. As you can imagine, the family didn't take kindly to being told there is something seriously wrong with their child!! (that's an understatement!)

   There is no logic whatsoever in that little child's head. It is impossible to reason with him, and it is like he isn't even 'home' most of the time. You ask him why he did something and he doesnt' even know what you are talking about, or else he starts talking about some fantasy story in his head! He has NO line between reality and fiction - none whatsoever!!

   He needs extremely strict structure which is simply not possible in a home where this much is going on, and where this many people are living! Social Services mixed up staffing on Thursday so he couldnt' have his visit with Mummy that evening. So he has been upset ever since wanting to know if it is time to go see her yet and what he has done wrong to be 'punished' by missing out on it! We have tried to explain for four days, but he understands no better than on Thursday evening!! It is sooo frustrating!

   He has wanted to go to school the past two days on the weekend to the point of crying when told it wasn't a school day! He convinced himself that we were preventing him from going for some reason. He left this morning and turned back to me in the front garden and said 'I got out! Now I can go to school and you can't stop me!' He honestly didnt' realise it was the weekend and there was no school!!!! It didnt' matter that the same thing happens every weekend, or how many different ways we explained it.

   I HATE  to ask for a child to be removed from our home, but this is simply going to tear our family apart! We usually try to include these children in everything we do, but this one simply won't be included - he is too disruptive to normal life!

   Pumpkin on the other hand is thriving! He is growing big and chubby. Nearly walking, starting to wave and clap, starting to talk and feed himself some foods, and sleeping through the night! He gets into normal baby mischeif, but has learned more bounderies than his brother already! At least he knows to stop what he is doing if we say 'NO'!

   He is also forming attachments to us, finally, which he was unable to do before. And he has learned to laugh! I know that seems like a little thing, but this child simply didnt' know how to enjoy anything and has had to be taught to have fun!

   If you feel led to pray for these children and our family that would be wonderful. Please pray especially for us during this 'notice period' and that the neccesary assesments will take place quickly! We need to get off this roller coaster, but we do want Sportacus to be moved to the right placement for his needs. We are willing to hang in there for the assessment providing that it happens soon!

   Our own boys are struggling with this placement big time and we can't sit by and let things continue when they are affecting our boys so adversely! They have to be our first priority, after all God has entrusted us with them. So for their sakes and for his we have to see Sportacus leave us shortly. None of them have been told yet, and wont' be untill we have a time for when he will leave.

   I have some other burning things I want to post about that are on my heart, but all this upheaval this past week has put all of that on hold for a few days. I hope to be posting more school stuff soon!