First of all I want to say thank you to everyone for the encouraging and uplifting comments, emails and private messages you have all sent in the past two weeks! They have been a source of support as have the many prayers that we know were going up on our behalf! So I wanted to start by saying a huge THANK YOU!!!

   I'm sorry for the silence, but I made the decision to wait till things were finally sorted out to update as it has been too much of an emotional rollercoaster, changing several times a day sometimes, to keep you all updated. I knew people were praying and that was the thing we needed most!

   Sportacus left on Tuesday evening. We had a terrible, horrendous night last Thursday. Dh and I were both at our wits end as to what to do with him!! So on Friday when one of the team that looks after us as foster carers came around to see how things were going we told her that he had to leave ASAP.

   She was here for less than an hour, but she decided that she was going to try and move him that very evening. She wittnessed my boys being exhausted, stressed out, and just completely out of sorts! She actually said that she was more worried about out my boys than about Sportacus at that point! And the negative effect that his behaviour was having on our family.

   I truely am blessed to have a social work team who really care about their foster parents and our families! She was really fighting our corner this past couple of days, and we appreciate the support they have given us immensly (sp?).

   Due to difficulties with the boys' social worker and the fact that it was a holiday on Monday so a long weekend off, she was unable to move him Friday evening. But she did arrange an emergency respite carer who was on standby all weekend in case things escalated further. We could simply ring them up and drop him off. It was nice to know we had some back up over the long weekend.

   On Friday evening we went out for awhile and Dh decided to tell Sportacus that he had to leave soon and live with a new family. His reaction? 'Oh. OK.' That was it!! After about half an hour he finally asked what about Pumpkin. Dh told him that he might stay with us. He was a bit upset when he thought he wouldnt' see him again, but when told he would see him at contact with Mummy, he was fine to leave him behind!

   Our boys also were totally relieved when we said he was going. And we ended up having a good weekend together! I think that knowing the end was in sight helped us all to get on for a couple last days.

   On Tuesday, we did say to the social team though that we really wanted him out that evening because we had Jack and Jill coming that night. He loved it when they came but the change of schedule and sleeping arrangements always sent him nuts and those were the worst nights we had with him. I wanted things to end on the good note of the nice, pleasant weekend we had had, rather than have one last horrific night and then him go.

   This is where things went downhill rapidly! To sum up his case worker dodged all phone calls from me and my social worker and all emails from the team both on Friday and on Tuesday! She was trying to avoid us because without her sayso we couldn't do anything permenant. My social worker told her that we were going to put him into the emergency respite that night and she went nuts!! She even had her senior manager ring my social workers senior manager to have a go about us and the situation!

   To give them their due - our team had our backs and defended out right to say enough was enough! However the case worker refused to transport Sportacus to the new home, or to do any paperwork that night! So I had to transport him into the city to the new home and give them a copy of our paperwork.

   All weekend long Sportacus kept asking if he could pack his suitcase yet! He couldnt' wait to go. We bought him a nice old suitcase and a new plastic bin for his toys and things. He had come to us with a bunch of big black binliners filled with his stuff. I refuse to send children out of my home with their belonging in garbage bags. So he left with suitcases and nice boxes and felt special having all these nice things to store his stuff in!

   When it was finally time to go he looked at each person in the house in turn and said 'Bye *****. I will never see you again - ever.' with a flat monotone and no facial expression. He gave no one hugs - not even his brother! Dh lifted him for a hug and we both prayed together over him. We also gave him a small Bible. We had read the 'God loves me Bible' with him at bedtimes and he loved that little book. So we had bought him his own copy which has space at the back for you to stick the childs picture in the frame and write their name in so that the last line reads 'Yes! God loves Sportacus' He was sooo excited! He 'read' it the whole drive to their house and ran in showing it to the new family when we arrived.

   I almost had to beg for a hug goodbye when I left. He was not the least bothered about going! Not sure if that is a good thing - because we were worried he would be upset. Or a bad thing -that he hated our home so much he couldn't wait to get out! In reality I think he is simply so out of touch with reality that he simply doesn't care where he is - or most of the time even know where he is!

   We had typed a 5 page letter to the new carers explaining what they were up against as we felt that forwarned is forarmed. Some of his behaviour has been quite dangerous to himself and to others and we felt they needed to know what to keep him away from and what to watch out for. They asked as soon as I got there what the story was and were happy to have the information. They were also very kind and understanding that not every child is a fit for every home. They too had had a similar child and only stuck it out because she was being adopted in a matter of weeks so they knew the end was in sight!

   We had a more relaxed day yesterday without having to run back for Sportacus to be dropped of by the taxi, which was nice to take my time with the boys in town. And this morning - we all slept till 8am!!!!!! Even the baby (who is now back out of our room in the extra bedroom. He couldn't share with Sportacus) didn't wake till 8:15!! Sportacus was always up around 6am! So it was nice to actually get a full nights sleep and start the day peacefully!

   I hated to ask any child to leave, but this has definitely been the right decision for all of us. My head knows that this was right for him and for the family. My head knows that I had to think of my boys first! My head knows that I have nothing to feel bad or guilty about. But I would appriciate prayers at this time because although I know it all in my head - my heart is breaking!! I love this little boys even though he drove me to distration!! I know my heart will come to understand as well in time, but I FEEL bad, guilty, a failure, and like I let him down. I KNOW that I'm not and that I didn't - I just FEEL this way right now and could use prayer that my heart would catch up with my head soon!

   Please pray as well because we have to get ready for Pumpkin to leave in just over a week. The boys case worker is insisting on reuniting the boys as soon as she can. She is angry at us and her way of 'punishing' us is to take Pumpkin out of the home where he is thriving and bonded and put him back with his brother who has been endagering him! But Dh has said that we won't fight this since we can't have a working relationship with this case worker after the way she has behaved! So Pumpkin has to go soon too! The boys are quite upset about him going - as are we! We are simply praying God's hedge of protection around this little one.

   So I think that brings the fostering situation up to date! I have a few other thing that have happened to blog about but thought I'd do that in a seperate post.  I'll try and post more homeschool stuff than fostering stuff in future! LOL! After all I think this was supposed to be a homeschool blog??

   Thanks again for the prayers and the support! We really felt the prayers this past week. And I appriciate my bloggy friends!