Edited to add link 9/25/05

    So sorry for confusing some of you.  Here is the "official" review which I wrote for the book, "Created to be His Helpmeet" by Debi Pearl.and which was published by The Old Schoolhouse Magazine.  The three posts following this were in response to spunkyhomeschool's request for an honest dialogue of her blog review regarding this book and to clear up any confusion as to where TOS stands in their support of the Pearls. (See this link for Spunky's website where you can find her original review: Spunky Homeschool) After I commented on spunky's allegations or questions, I had my answers go through approval by The Old Schoolhouse and No Greater Joy Ministries which made my comments "official."

Here is the review:

Created To Be His Help Meet

By Debi Pearl

No Greater Joy Ministries

1000 Pearl Road

Pleasantville, TN 37033

www.NoGreaterJoy.org

“Somewhere over the passing years and changing culture, women have lost their way. This book is written to lead them back home. Regardless of how you began your marriage or how dark and lonely the path that has brought you to where you are now, I want you to know that it is possible today to have a marriage so good and so fulfilling that it can only be explained as a miracle.” ~ Debi Pearl

I have never reviewed such an incredible, life-changing book – and I am not prone to exaggerate!    I guarantee you will be challenged and changed in your heart and mind.  This book reminds us of our God-given roles as wives and challenges us to step up and be just what that requires.  The cover of the book states, “Discover how God can make your marriage glorious” and Debi Pearl certainly does guide the way toward a more glorious marriage as she cheers you on toward loving that man you live with – as being more than just a man you live with – but being placed there as God’s authority in your life who is deserving of your full respect and admiration.  Is he not even close to admirable in your eyes - is he even intolerable? This view will change as you read this book. As an old pastor of mine used to say, you will learn how to “love the unlovable, reach the unreachable and teach the unteachable” without a word !  You will be convicted of sin, yet at the same time spurred on towards loving and reverencing your man as you love and reverence Christ; “that the Word of God be not blasphemed” in your own life. (Ephesians 5; Titus 2)

There is a brilliant excerpt from the book which can be viewed at the No Greater Joy website (http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/index.php?id=25&backPID=17&tt_news=211 ) which will give you a glimpse of the kind of man you may be married to and how to respond as a help meet to that particular type of man.  This section will make you laugh and cry as you realize who it is you are married to and the God-like qualities he possesses.  I happen to be married to a “Visionary” and have been hanging on for the wild ride through the years and now know how to sit back and enjoy that ride!  You, too, will discover how to love your man the way God has wired him and give up the burden of trying to ever change him into being your help meet. You will be reminded that you are the one made to be the help meet and this book is chock full of very practical nitty-gritty advice on how to do just that.

I highly recommend that you read this book if you want a new marriage relationship, if you want to know what your role as a wife truly is from both biblical and practical perspectives, if you are hurting in your marriage or even if you are seemingly content, but especially if you want to see a fresh glimpse of your husband bathed in a brand new light of respect and awe.

This book will not only change your mind about your man, it will change your marriage!  It is doing its work in mine already!

Deborah Wuehler, Devotional Editor, The Old Schoolhouse Magazine

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Posted by Dalyn

This book was a huge life-changer! It changed who I am as a wife and as a mother. My husband asked me to "keep reading that book over and over!" I think so many of us (my husband and I most assuredly) grew up without knowing how to function in a family in a positive way. I myself, even though I had tried to educate myself, went to countless "Bible studies" on this topic, and wound up getting so confused when what they said didn't match up to what the Bible actually said, and when I questioned it I got more confusing information, like: "well, in the original greek it says... ", or "that was a culteral thing, and doesn't apply to us here and now...", "the Bible doesn't mean that literally..."
Ugh! What is a new believer to do? I quit going to those classes, and just looked to God's Word. Big changes, but until Debi's book, I had no "motherly" example or advice that was biblical and practical. This book was like sweet water to my weary soul! (and to my husband's!)
What a change! We are joyful- set free by some truths that had been covered up by humanism, feminism, and the modern church, which has it's share of both of those things. Praise God for His truth and those willing to say it out loud! Debi Pearl, her book, and the NGJ ministry has been a big part of our life for years. Nothing beats the Bible- and I LOVE God's Word, and while nobody is perfect, Debi P. sure has been helpful to the body of Christ.
Thanks for giving a voice to those of us wanting to uphold the integrity of the Pearls. I have most of their material, and my husband and I are NOT followers- we follow Christ alone, so when we endorse the Pearls, it's not because we need to be lead by somebody- it's because we appreciate the way they have taught, counselled, and uphelp the plain truth of God's Word. Something MANY no longer do.
~Dalyn

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Posted by Anonymous

I have left a comment on your third response to Spunky's reviews which also directly relates to this post. In particular, it appears that your review and responses may not be independent. Further - it is very unusual for a blogger to respond to another blogger outside of a magazine and to then say their blog post is a magazine's official position. Here is the part of comment which is relevant:

In my previous comment I have raised some points which are important. Not the least of those is that while Deborah says the book is designed to build on already existing theology, Rebekah says it is designed for people who do not know Jesus. Which is it? The question needs answering as it directly bears on the doctrinal content of the book, and on whether it is designed to facilitate inner transformation or is for external application only.

I've also pointed out that there appears to be a fundamental misunderstanding on what doctrine is. These are biblical issues which beg answers. There is nothing "personal" about them - and rather than making it about she said and they said in other people's comment boxes, let's look biblically and carefully at what has been presented.

I read Spunky's reviews, which by the way have been reproduced entirely here as an "official" response by a magazine that did not consider basic copyright, and all the comments. A couple of people were out of line - Spunky addressed that. However - those commenters are not the issue. Making it about that, when this isn't even her blog, is a red herring.

The "reviews" here unfortunately do have inadequacies. The review of the book itself was added after the responses to Spunky's posts - and is a testimonial rather than a real review. It would be appropriate as an inside cover endorsement of a book but does not review the book substantively. If I had time I could go through some of the reponses from Deborah - and I may. As I've already said, there is a fundamental misunderstanding of what doctrine is to start with that needs to be looked at.

Defining the purpose of a book, which as yet is not clear for this book, does not override the need for biblically sound content. The content needs to be weighed biblically - not emotively and not in side-tracked fashion on irrelevancies such as who likes the Pearl's personally or who said what in the comments section on another blog. If a reviewer has a personal connection with an author that should be declared and made known also. I do not know if that is the case here, although there are statements included form the author and her daughter which make Deborah's responses appear not to be an independent review. It is simply standard practice to declare any connection to an author and it assists the reader in knowing that the review is not independent.

Regarding the "official" position - I would expect a magazine to be aware of copyright. If a magazine reproduced three of my posts without permisssion they would definitely hear from me. Spunky has been gracious on that issue. However considering that this is an official position from a magazine I would expect better. It is within law to link to the post and provide an excerpt. To completely reproduce some-one posts is incorrect - including reproducing them on a blog. One can still respond to some-one without taking all their work and reproducing it. And yes, that is important - and even more so when a magazine is being officially represented.

What is missing is a response from the author. There is a short comment included from the author here but it does not address any of the biblical concerns. Instead there are two people speaking on the author's behalf, and going beyond reviewing the book to stating the author's intent. Those two statements of intent contradict each other.

These are issues which need to be looked at. I do not know the TOS contributors, but from these posts I now have questions regarding how they have used another persons material and whether they are committed to reviews which are independent.

Catez Stevens
http://allthings2all.blogspot.com

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Posted by Anonymous

"After I commented on spunky's allegations or questions, I had my answers go through approval by The Old Schoolhouse and No Greater Joy Ministries which made my comments "official."

Hi Deborah,
I do have some difficulty with this. Firstly because the word "allegations" is loaded - and not reflective of what Spunky posted. She reviewed and analysed. I think allegations is not the most appropriate description here.
Secondly because you had your comments approved by No Greater Joy Ministries - so appear to be officially speaking for both TOS and the Pearls. That isn't an independent position at all. As I have said in my previous comment there is a stark contradiction between what you say is the purpose of the book and what Rebekah of No Greater Joy Ministries says is the purpose of the book - yet both views are "official". I would really appreciate your clarification and response on this.
I'm also wondering why there needs to be an official approval and response from No Greater Joy if Spunky is not at all affilaited with them and they are not official TOS staff. I'm also wondering why an affliate of TOS, Spunky, is responded to officially when she is an independent contractor.
Can you clarify?
Catez
http://allthings2all.blogspot.com

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Posted by Anonymous

I can't be supportive of any ministry that feels it glorifies God for a woman to endure abuse.

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