Since the weather was hotter than blazes, 110 degrees in the shade, Mom and I decided to take the kids a mile down the road to swim with the gators and water moccasins in the local river. We had no idea what other wildlife we would run into there. Suffice it to say, it’s a WHOLE ‘nother world--filled with all sorts of really interesting folks. With double first names. Cute little fellows with fishing rods, just chompin’ at the bit to tell you the latest water moccasin yarn. A four-foot long one spotted under the rocks right about where you’re standing. Ha! Made ya’ jump!

So what are ya' waitin' for, don your old cutoffs, grab a bag of Doritos and come on in. Just be sure and hold the bag way up in the air so’s the chips don’t get soggy. Everything tastes better standing in the river. Then after you’ve eaten your fill, toss the bag, and swim over to the island and raise a ruckus swinging off the rope swing into the water.

I left my camera at home, so I missed a great photo op of my kiddos standing in the river enjoying an RC Cola and a Moon Pie—the quintessential southern treat. I’m surprised they still make ‘em. I bet they do just so’s folks like me can relive their childhood. My kiddos loved the moon pies, which are basically marshmallow and graham cracker sandwiches with a chocolate coating. Super-duper sweet! I hadn’t tasted one since I was a kid. Blech! It must be true what they say about babies and children having extra sweet receptors on the inside of their cheeks. Now I can rest easy that my young’uns are truly southern.

 What a bast we had! And not a gator in sight. Of course, the locals all informed us that the gators can be found a few hundred yards up or downstream—but NEVER where we were swimming. Uh-huh. Now, the water moccasins, on the other hand—they’re everywhere! And, according to one little fellow water moccasins and cotton mouths aren’t the same ‘t’all—"Cotton mouths, when they bite you, give you cotton mouth. Water moccasins, though, their bite’ll kill ya’ in a hurry." I think I need to get my snake lore from someone over the age of ten. What d’ya think?