I’ve been pondering the phrase “running ahead of God”.  I’m not sure if I made this phase up or heard it somewhere. It sounds a little Oswald Chambersy to me. It seems logical to think that I probably heard it, or read it, but if so, I can’t think where…regardless, I’ve been pondering whether it is actually possible. My husband, who is the resident theologian here, thinks it is not. That it is the same as being out of God’s will.  Maybe it is. It seems likely. I don’t know. All I know is that I can’t get the phrase out of my mind. I keep thinking about how messed up last week was and how I attempted to do something good, but ran into roadblock after roadblock.  Not the kind of roadblocks that make one think that Old Spotty (remember him) is getting in the way, but roadblocks that make one wonder whether what one is doing is the right thing or not? I think we often call that being out of the will of God.

I never really questioned whether the things I wanted to accomplish were good or not. I know that they were/are; but maybe not now, and maybe not for me. I don’t know. In the process of doing them I used up time I didn’t have, spent money I didn’t have, and ended up exhausted and frazzled and the task is still unfinished. Whew! I’m tired. I wish I could change course…go back and pray first…ask God what He thinks. Make that thought. I’m embarrassed to say I never asked Him, it was one of those spur of the moment things…the person I was talking to made a statement and I responded and committed myself before I’d thought it through or prayed it through. So here I am. I don’t mind being embarrassed so much, humbling is good right? I do mind letting the person down. Not being able to do what I said I would do. How do I get in these messes? Outside of God’s will…? Hummm…I confess I did hear a whisper that said…maybe not…but I disregarded it. These were good and acceptable things that I wanted to do, surely I should do them? Right? Maybe. But, maybe not now…my mind questions why not? But, it doesn’t matter does it? In the process of trying to do these things I think I stepped outside of the will God…I ran ahead of Him…down the path on my own. When will I learn? Now I’m pondering being outside of the will of God? Is that possible? I think I need to have another talk with my resident theologian. I think I'm running in circles.

Grant me ears to hear.

 “We do not consciously disobey God; we simply do not heed Him.”  -Oswald Chambers

blessings,

dani

 “And such trust have we through Christ to God-ward:  Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God.”  (2 Corinthians 3:4-5)