A few days ago I was out with all the kids and ran into a sweet friend from church. She looked at all my kids and me and asked the question I get asked just about every time I run into someone, “How do you do it with all of them?” It meaning shop or handle all of them on my own. There is also the unasked question of “why” do I do it alone? Why do I take them with me?

Well, the answers are simple. First How…

How do I do handle all of them? I train them. The children start going to the store with me as infants and after a few hundred trips and lots of training (discipline) they finally “get it”.  (Just joking, it doesn’t really take that long; they actually learn very quickly what behavior is acceptable and what behavior isn’t.) Does that mean that they are perfect little angels every time we go out? No. They are still human and their bent is toward sin so some training takes place every time we go out, (with five kids someone is always pushing the limits) but after a few trips they know what is expected of them and they know that when they choose to be disobedient consequences result.

Here is a very important training tip (maybe the most important one – I even heard SuperNanny use it the other day…although I’ve used it for years):  before you get out of your car/van/SUV– tell your kids what you expect of them. Tell them exactly how you expect them to behave and do this every single time you go anywhere. Prepare them for what is coming. Kids have short memories. If you do this, and you tell them what consequence will result if they are disobedient you will be amazed at how well they will behave…and you won’t have any question in your mind as to whether or not they knew what behavior was expected of them when you do have to discipline them for not following your instructions. Do this even with the little ones. Children as young as 18m can start learning to be obedient. And follow through with the consequence if they do disobey you. But, not in public. Save it for the car or better yet make them wait until they get home. Talk to them in the car afterwards…praise them for a job well done, or if they didn’t do a good job explain to them how they could have done better. Ask them to tell you how they think they did and what (if anything) they did that they shouldn’t have done. Don’t just assume your children know how to behave or what you expect of them.

More in part 2.