I’ve been pondering the phrase “running ahead of God”.  I’m not sure if I made this phase up or heard it somewhere. It sounds a little Oswald Chambersy to me. It seems logical to think that I probably heard it, or read it, but if so, I can’t think where…regardless, I’ve been pondering whether it is actually possible. My husband, who is the resident theologian here, thinks it is not. That it is the same as being out of God’s will.  Maybe it is. It seems likely. I don’t know. All I know is that I can’t get the phrase out of my mind. I keep thinking about how messed up last week was and how I attempted to do something good, but ran into roadblock after roadblock.  Not the kind of roadblocks that make one think that Old Spotty (remember him) is getting in the way, but roadblocks that make one wonder whether what one is doing is the right thing or not? I think we often call that being out of the will of God.

I never really questioned whether the things I wanted to accomplish were good or not. I know that they were/are; but maybe not now, and maybe not for me. I don’t know. In the process of doing them I used up time I didn’t have, spent money I didn’t have, and ended up exhausted and frazzled and the task is still unfinished. Whew! I’m tired. I wish I could change course…go back and pray first…ask God what He thinks. Make that thought. I’m embarrassed to say I never asked Him, it was one of those spur of the moment things…the person I was talking to made a statement and I responded and committed myself before I’d thought it through or prayed it through. So here I am. I don’t mind being embarrassed so much, humbling is good right? I do mind letting the person down. Not being able to do what I said I would do. How do I get in these messes? Outside of God’s will…? Hummm…I confess I did hear a whisper that said…maybe not…but I disregarded it. These were good and acceptable things that I wanted to do, surely I should do them? Right? Maybe. But, maybe not now…my mind questions why not? But, it doesn’t matter does it? In the process of trying to do these things I think I stepped outside of the will God…I ran ahead of Him…down the path on my own. When will I learn? Now I’m pondering being outside of the will of God? Is that possible? I think I need to have another talk with my resident theologian. I think I'm running in circles.

Grant me ears to hear.

 “We do not consciously disobey God; we simply do not heed Him.”  -Oswald Chambers

blessings,

dani

 “And such trust have we through Christ to God-ward:  Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God.”  (2 Corinthians 3:4-5)

Forgive me.

Thank you, Lord, for the reminder that I need to slow down and sit at your feet.

 blessings,

dani

“But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.”  (Luke 10:40)

Last week I said some thoughtless things to a dear, sweet friend of mine. She is precious to me and although I didn’t mean to hurt her I did. I really did not intend to be mean or thoughtless or cruel. But, from her point of view, I was…and that is all that matters.  At this point, the reason why I said what I did doesn’t matter, the only thing that matters is that she did not understand what I said and was hurt by it. I’m praying that she can forgive me. Words should be a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and pleasing to the bones (Proverbs 16:24)…mine were not.  Lord, forgive me for not glorifying You. I’ve learned a few things about myself during this time that I’m not to proud of. Change me Lord. Make me more like You. Let my conversation always be full of grace (Col. 4:6), keep my tongue from evil (Psalm 34:13), help me to utter wisdom, and speak what is just (Psalm 37:30), let no unwholesome talk come out of my mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs (Eph. 4:29).  Dear friend forgive me, I was a poor testimony and an even worse friend. God bless you. You are dear to me.

love you,

dani

“I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more says the Lord.”  Hebrews 8:12